Author's note: Short scene between Harry and a pregnant Hermione. On a side note, I just saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but the tie-in didn't pan out like I wanted. (Sigh). Oh well. Luckily the fic's a mini, so my disappointment is short-lived.
Post Hogwarts. Post Voldemort.
PG
Baby Lights
"Hermione, open the door." Harry gave a put-upon sigh and started knocking in time to the ticking grandfather clock at the end of the hallway.
Ten minutes ago he'd come home to his lovely young wife, only to be greeted by a locked bedroom door and the sounds of her muffled sobs on the other side.
"Hermione," he said softly. "Please love…"
The crying continued.
"Hermione," he repeated sternly, "open the door." However, his firmer tone only resulted in her louder sobs.
"No. No. So sorry sweet, don't cry." He quickly apologized as he knocked again. "Please sweets, don't cry."
He heard her sniff and snivel as she padded towards him. He could tell she was shifting from one foot to the other, deciding whether to let him in.
"Open the door darling," he said softly. "Tell Daddy all about it."
"Oh Harry," she said as she cracked the door a bit. "Don't call yourself that. It sounds like you're my pimp."
Harry shrugged. "I'm your husband. Potato potato. "
She motioned him inside. "Well I'm not going to introduce you as my 'pimp' at parties." She wiped away a tear and took a seat on the corner of the bed.
"So what's the status?" He asked as he loosened his tie.
"Moody," she said sadly as she stared at the floor.
"Progress?"
"Still moody." She looked up at him with wide-watery eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry love." He sat down and wrapped an arm around her. "You're pregnant. It's all part of the beautiful cycle. Like the vomiting and the over-eating."
Her eyes started tearing. "Is that what I do all day?" She bit back a sob.
"No. Oh gods…" Harry knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. He gave a small smile. "I was
joking. Really sweetheart, I was joking."
"I know Harry," she said as a fat tear rolled down her cheek. "Honestly, it's funny." She managed a brave smile before she burst out crying. Harry hastily drew her to him, cradling her in his arms as they settled on the floor.
"No it wasn't," he insisted. "It wasn't funny at all." He kissed her forehead as she calmed down.
"Yes it was. It was really funny. I just can't stop…" her breath hitched, "stop crying. And my head hurts and my nose is runny and I'm whining. Gods I'm whining." She shook her head. "I didn't whine before any of this."
"Of course you didn't." Harry rolled his eyes.
She nudged him before going on. "And I know this is the last thing you need Harry. Having one of those clingy, weepy wives to come home to." She forced a chuckle. "I'm surprised you come home at all. If I were married to me, I'd move in with Lavender and watch Ron eat all her food."
Harry laughed and wiped away a stray tear. "Well, luckily I married you before you did." She smiled and shook her head at the strangely sweet sentiment.
"And about that 'being clingy' bit," he added as he nestled her honey locks. "You'll find I don't mind it a bit when you're being clingy."
"No?" She asked as she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Not in the least." He shifted her so she was snuggly against him.
"And about the coming home part." He tightened his hold on her. "There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here."
"On the floor…"
"On the floor with you," he clarified. "And our baby."
"Assuming he's yours," she said with a playful twinkle.
Harry nodded solemnly. "Oh right. Well, if he's intelligent and good-looking we'll know for sure."
"No. If he's intelligent and good-looking we're sending Draco a thank-you card."
"Oh that tears it…" he said as he began running his hands along her ticklish sides.
"Harry!" She cried (the happy kind of cry) as she batted his hands away. He captured her lips in a long kiss, which she enthusiastically returned.
"Harry, I'm a mess." She broke away with a gasp
"I know," he said as he began a trail of wet kisses along her collarbone. "I kinda like it."
"Really?" She sighed as he started in on her throat. "The greasy hair and the puffy eyes?"
"Hmmm." He hummed his approval against her soft skin. "Harry likes."
She laughed and pulled away with bright eyes. "I still can't see how you put up with me."
He kissed her hand. "Well, considering all I've put you through over the years, it seems only fair."
"That is true," she said thoughtfully as she caressed his cheek. "You were rather moody back at Hogwarts."
"Sure," he shrugged as he closed the distance between them.
"You were always moping around and brooding," she said as she pushed him back a bit, keeping him at arm's length.
"Well, not always…" he corrected as he tried to gather her against him.
"Yes. Always," she said as she shifted away. "Well, at least during the whole of fifth and six year always."
"Hardly that…" He was becoming thoroughly frustrated in his amorous attempts.
"And," she said as she brushed away his roaming hands, "you were awfully secretive and self-pitying."
"Hey! I was battling the ultimate evil at the time," he countered, coming out of his Hermione-yum induced haze.
"And Ron was always eating…" she added thoughtfully.
"So?" Harry asked, not sure he wanted to know where all this was heading.
"So…together, you and Ron were the equivalent of one big pregnant woman."
"What?!"
"Yes," she nodded happily. "A big, burly, irritable, hard-to-please pregnant woman."
"Hermione…"
She joyfully locked him in one of her rib-breaking hugs before he could finish. "So there's nothing to worry about." Her eyes were shining as she pulled back.
"Don't you see? I can handle pregnancy. I've spent my whole adult life tending to a pregnant woman. I can do this. I've been doing it for years." She gave a congratulatory laugh and clapped her hands together, thoroughly pleased with herself.
"Okay…" Harry said wearily, feeling vaguely insulted. At least she's not crying, he thought as she pulled away.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I feel better," she said as she got to her feet.
"Yeah. Better. Right," he said gloomily as she helped him up.
However, he didn't have enough time to brood before she began easing him back onto the bed.
"Huh? Hermione, what…?"
Perennially-confused Harry was making a belated appearance. Usually he turned up at the beginning of her mood swings. Today, the reverse was true.
"Well, you've certainly cheered me up Mr. Potter…" she said as she crawled over him. She took his bottom lip in her mouth as she reached for his belt. "I just thought I'd return the favor."
"What?" He asked absently. His thoughts were becoming less and less coherent as she began nipping her way down his front.
Talking… getting… harder… other… parts… getting… harder… too…
He was too far-gone to hear her 'who's your Daddy now' comment, but he probably wouldn't have cared either way.
End