Short fic I wrote between Johns. I found I had to write it because a few people asked how Davender happened in "Three-String Note," and I'm like…hey, here's how. This isn't a prequel, but more of a 'yeah, it could happen' fic.
PG-ish, because I have ONE curse word and don't know how these things work. Post Voldemort.
D.A. (The Other One)
"Hello," Draco smiled and waved to the gathered crowd.
He nodded towards Harry and Hermione, who were sitting in the front row, and grimaced at Ron, who was staring at Lavender (as usual, oblivious to anything that wasn't curvy and female).
"Well," he cleared his throat and sifted through his stack of notes. "I guess I'll just start then. My name is Draco Malfoy."
Hello Draco, the audience politely chorused.
"And I've been a recovering Deatheater now for about eight months."
Light round of applause.
"Thank you." He took a sip of water and continued. "Thank you. Yeah. I guess you could say I started on the road to evil pretty early in life."
Several sympathetic nods.
"You know…" he started counting off his fingers, "destroy all Mudbloods, reign down destruction, aid in the hellish crusade of old What's-His-Name. My parents forced me into it really. They were always pressuring me to join the powers of darkness and be the best little pureblood possible."
He paused. "No offense Dad."
Lucius Malfoy took a long sip from his silver decanter and flashed a thumbs-up from the back row.
"Anyway," Draco went on, "as I got older, I fell in with a rough crowd." He motioned towards Crab and Goyle, who were snacking on the free punch and cookies in the corner.
"Mphmn." Crab toasted Draco before he stuffed another cream puff in his mouth.
"Yeah, hi guys…" Draco chuckled and sighed wistfully. "Good times…
…but," he shook off his nostalgia, "like all good things, my career as a Deatheater came to a tragic end."
Awww. Several people gave sympathetic sighs, which Draco waved away.
"Luckily, I had the love and support of a good woman…" he winked at Hermione, who buried her face in her hands. "That…I might add…still refuses to date me, despite my Very Important contribution to the war effort…"
"How come?" Lav shouted.
"What?" Draco peered into the audience.
"How comes she refuses to date you?"
"Well luv," Draco leaned over the podium and gave a sly smile. "Apparently her taste in men tends towards broody, self-righteous orphans…if you get my drift." He wriggled his eyebrows and nodded towards Harry.
"Really?" Lav turned to Hermione.
"Really?" Harry asked, amused.
Hermione's mouth fell open as she shook her head, only to find she had her usual grip on Harry's arm. She made a sort of squeaking sound as she snatch her hand away and folded it neatly in her lap.
"Anyway," Draco went on merrily, "with the support of a good woman, my reform came none-too-soon… as the Order had pretty much blown the war and was losing ground on the front."
"What!?" Harry cried, turning away from a still-blushing Hermione.
"So," Draco ignored Harry's protest, "I was able to save the known universe from total destruction and live happily ever after. The. End."
There were several rounds of enthusiastic applause as Draco took a few bows and nodded his thanks.
"No… really, you guys have been great…really…no sit down, sit down. Yeah. That's nice, that's really nice…"
Draco fell into a chair next to Hermione and shrugged an arm over her shoulders.
"Well kids, that was fun. Feels good to get that off the ol' chest." He tightened his hold around Hermione shoulders. "Thanks for making me talk tonight doll. Play your cards right, and I just might find a way to repay you." He wagged his tongue and flashed his best evil grin.
She leaned towards him with a shy smile, only to grip his collar and pull him to his feet.
"Come. With. Me," she said through gritted teeth.
Harry laughed and shook his head as Draco mouthed something about "help" and "send for."
"S'all right Hermione," Harry said as he gently eased her away from a struggling Draco and led her toward the lobby.
"Ungrateful little, unbelievable…" she muttered under her breath. "I'm so sorry Harry, he's just…"
She was too busy cursing Draco to notice Harry had snuck a subtle arm around her waist.
"Don't worry about Draco," he said absently as they rounded the corner towards one of the darker corridors.
Now certain they were quite alone, he turned to her with a lopsided grin.
"So…orphans huh?"
…
"How come they get to leave?" Ron pouted as Harry and Hermione disappeared down the hallway.
Draco shrugged. "Because Granger scares me." He rubbed his hands together. "So, who's up next?"
"Dolohov," Lav answered.
"Ohhh good," Draco groaned. "More of that born-again-Jesus-saves bullocks." He moved to a seat next to Lavender. "I mean the man fasts for his messiah, but he still hasn't apologized for killing my mum."
Lav nodded her agreement. "Yeah. There's just something so hypocritical about that."
Draco laughed. "Hey, remember the time he tried to 'heal' Bellatrix?"
"…And he turned her into a door…" Lav giggled. "That was funny."
"Yeah. But this isn't." Ron nodded to the podium where Dolohov was singing psalms.
"Humph. Let's get out of here. How about we go "accidentally" walk in on our little lovebirds?" Draco offered brightly.
"Walk in on what?" Ron asked, staring at a now foaming-at-the-mouth Dolohov. When he turned around, Draco and
Lavender were long gone, off to do what they did best: bother the hezpah out of their comparatively well-adjusted
peers.
…
"He's gotta be at second base by now," Draco said as he peered into the darkness ahead of them. They were on their third hallway now, and the little misadventure was quickly losing its charm.
Lav looked at her watch. "What? Their first time? Nah. They're probably still on the 'overcoming their insecurities prelude.'" She cleared her throat and batted her eyes.
"Oh Harry," she said in a trembly voice, "We can't. We mustn't. You're Harry Potter. The
Harry Potter, and I'm just some little nobody bookworm. Sigh. Mope. Tear…" Lav dabbed at her eyes and gazed
sadly at Draco.
Draco gave a sly smile and dropped his voice to a husky whisper. "Oh Hermione. My overprotective-yet-surprisingly-unsure-of-her-place-in-my-life sweetheart." He stared lovingly into Lav's eyes. "Can't you see? I like that you're a nobody. It means I get to maintain my down-to-earth persona despite my fame and fortune." He paused to kiss her hand. "Because, honestly, it's all about me…"
Lav nodded solemly. "Oh of course it is Harry. Oh, pretty please, keep taking me for
granted. And take my virginity while you're at it."
Draco shrugged. "Sure. But only if I can call you 'mom' when I come."
"Draco!" Lav swatted at him.
"Draco?!" Someone shouted.
The shout was accompanied by a series of muffled whispers coming from the room behind them. A series of Harry-and-Hermione sounding whispers.
A heavy silence descended on the hallway until Draco and Lav burst out laughing and started banging on the locked door.
"Hey guys, you're missing the meeting." Lav shouted.
"Yeah." Draco said sternly, winking at her. "I could be relapsing right now. I could be back to my old evil-doings, having all kinds of fun killing innocent Muggles in crowded shopping malls, and you'd never know it. All because you snuck out for a snog. Tut tut."
"Unbelievable," Lav sighed, patting poor Draco's shoulder.
"With friends like these…" he nodded towards the door.
"Don't…don't come in." They heard Hermione's panicked voice, accompanied by the sound of belts and zippers being hastily fastened.
"Oh, ho ho," Lav laughed and hopped in place. "Second base my foot. They're getting dressed." She started punching the air in a show of Gryffindor grrl power.
"Way to go Potter," Draco shouted and banged on the door.
"Piss off Draco," Harry called.
"And to think, these meetings are usually so boring." Lav shook her head, amazed.
"Yeah. From now on I'm bringing a pensieve."
…
The next few minutes were spent debating the merits of bringing several pensieves; however, the argument quickly ended when they heard a soft groan, followed by a series of crashes, coming from the locked room.
…
"What was that?" Draco asked.
Lav put her ear to the door and furrowed her brow. "I don't know. It sounded like several knickknacks being knocked off a desk by a certain Gryffindor caught in the impulsive throws of passion."
She shrugged. "But I'm just guessing…"
Another moan followed.
"Wow," Draco said, impressed. "Good guess."
They heard someone cry out something along the lines of "dear gods don't stop."
"Yeah…I thought they were taking too long to get dressed," Draco sighed. "You want to remind them we're standing right here?"
Lav shook her head.
"Hmmm. That's kind of kinky luv." Draco nodded approvingly.
"No Draco," she rolled her eyes. "I mean we should leave…." she took his arm and dragged him back down the hallway, but not before murmuring a Silencio charm.
"Amateurs," she muttered as they turned the corner.
"But…they…we…it's still not too late to annoy them…" Draco sputtered as they reached the reception room. The meeting was wrapping up, and most of the crowd was gathered round the coffee and tea table.
"Trust me Draco." She pulled up a chair next to him. "We'll have loads of chances to annoy them. Right now we have to think up dirty innuendo to embarrass them with when they get back."
"We?" He cocked an eyebrow. "As in 'us'? Oh. Getting all attached now are you?" He grinned
and folded his arms behind his head. "Yep. Should've known this was some strange plot to get me all worked up
and alone with you." He glanced around at the crowed room of recovering Deatheaters. "Excepting this last
part where you obviously had a change of heart."
She laughed and leaned back. "Well, I guess you'll just have to do something to change it back."
"Hmmm…" he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I always could do something brash and romantic."
She looked at him skeptically
"Or I could just save time and buy you something pretty…"
"Draco," she sighed, flashing her winning smile. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful
friendship."
"Why, that's lovely sweets," he said. "Did you write that?"
Lav giggled, not only at Draco's unbearable cuteness, but at the endless amusement she was sure to have with her pet Slytherin.
And amuse, he did….
The End (so far, maybe)