I got past the hard part. I asked her on a date. One would think that would be the easiest thing in the world.
Step 1: walk up to your best friend.
Step 2: ask if she'd like to go to Hogsmeade with you. No, not as usual, just the two of you. Without, Ron.
Step 3: wait for reply.
Step 4 (optional): give her a hug.
Simple, really. Only someone with, oh how did she put, 'the emotional range of a teaspoon' could screw it up. Apparantly I'm something less than a teaspoon. My knees quaked so hard one would think I was facing Voldemort. I stammered, just a little, but I still did. She got impatient, and then she turned red. And then the light of understanding flickered in her eyes, and she assured me that she'd love to go. Was 10:00 alright with me?
Of course it was! ANY time was alright with me! Just as long as she was COMING!!! With ME! I considered reminding her of that oh-so-obvious fact, but then realized that it doesn't do well to push your luck right after she's accepted. I tumbled away mumbling something about quidditch practice incoherently. She was laughing at me.
So the hard part's supposed to be over. Ron says I should loosen up. It's only Hermione, after all. Nothing's going to be different. We've been on our own loads of times. But he doesn't understand. This isn't best friend Hermione. This is potential love-of-my-life Hermione who (I'm sorry to say) I've just realized my need of. I want her with me. I need her to want the same. She makes my breathing easy.
Of course, the one thing that she doesn't make easy is this. And that's why I'm sitting here, sweating, with my entire trunk emptied at my feet. I'm looking for something halfway decent to wear on a date with Hermione. I can't get used to saying that. A DATE. With HERMIONE. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I can almost see myself, RSVP-ing to a party 5 years from now. 'No, I'm sorry, Hermione and I will not be able to attend the event, because we have our weekly couples' book club meeting.' I'm willing to take up real books for her. Do you think that's love?
It's my judgment day. Do this right, and I may have something more than a female best friend. Mess it up, and I've probably lost her forever. The whole 'Cho incident' isn't boosting my morale much. There she is, dressed in a long loose cotton skirt and a plain blue top that looks almost like a t-shirt, but can't be, because it's far too pretty. Or maybe she's making it that pretty. I'm not quite sure which.
I'm pacing the common room floor while I wait, and she falls in step along with me, and asks if I'm ready to go. I've been unknowingly ready for years. It's silent for a minute. I mean, what is there to talk about. We've talked about everything before. Well maybe except for love. Suddenly I realize that I don't even know if she'd like to get married or how many children she'll want. I'm horrified. It's been 7 years. And I don't even know that. What other mysteries are under her skin, left waiting to be uncovered?
"Honestly, Harry. We have to talk about something."
"Hermione, how many children do you want?"
"What, Harry!"
But it's urgent now. I need to know what she wants with her life. I want her to say that what she wants is me.
"Please, Hermione, just answer me"
"Well, the thing is, I'm not entirely sure. I know I want children, of course, but I'm not sure exactly how many. Less than 5, I think, but maybe more than one. I'd like to have however many the man I love and marry wants."
"Oh. Yeah, I don't want just one. I think a whole houseful of little Harry Potters would be too much though, don't you agree?"
Oh god, I really don't mind the thought of little Hermione Potters running around though. With their sibling Harrys.
She laughs, her giggle like sleigh bells on a snowy winter morning. It's spring, but all I can remember is our Christmas snowball fight. And the way the whisps of hair fell into her eyes. And the flush of her lovely cheeks.
"Oh I don't know Harry. With…with the right girl, a bunch of little Harrys would be adorable!"
"What sort of girl, then?"
"Someone without a hero complex, someone with common sense"
"You have common sense"
"Oh…well yes, I suppose I do."
She's flustered now. I've put her on the spot! Embarrassed her! Oh god, I want to bang my head against something!
"You have common sense" I sound like all I can possibly think about is SHAGGING her!! FOR GOD'S SAKE I WANT TO KISS HER TOO!! Oh damn, that didn't come out right. I mean, I want to kiss her so badly right now. Shagging can wait for later. Ew shagging my best friend? Ew shagging ANYONE! She'd be better than anyone else. Oh god, this is such a disaster.
"So, erm, what would you like to do today?"
"Mmmmm…I was thinking a nice long snogging session at Madam Puddifoot's, followed by a wonderful shag out in the shrieking shack"
"Bring back the screams, you mean?"
"Oh, you think you could make me scream, Potter?"
"I'm willing to try, Granger."
"Bring it"
"My pleasure"
"I thought you were supposed to be concerned with MINE"
"Well, I could if you want"
That, my friends, is why I love that girl.
"That was fun, Harry. I love those talks"
"Yeah, they're…"
"They're what?"
And then I caught a glimpse of her silhouetted against the sunset.
"Beautiful"
"How can a conversation be beautiful?"
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean the conversation right there."
"Oh. What did you mean then?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"No!"
How could the brightest witch of our generation not understand this simple concept of a boy who's in love with a girl? She can be soo thick sometimes. I've got a lot to teach her.
"Then I won't tell you."
"What…Ohhhh"
A light of understanding lit up her eyes. And then suddenly she grabbed my hand. That was so much easier than getting the date in the first place.