Harry Potter and the Alucinor Dicio

Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter. I do own my computer and my overactive imagination!

Chapter 12 – While you were sleeping

Harry was in a good place. He smiled to himself, he could see nothing but light and feel nothing but love. This is what he imagined real love looked like, all soft around the edges, interspersed with blue light and nothing to hold him to reality but the feel of Hermione's small hand in his. Every now and then annoying voices would buzz around, like echoes of long forgotten conversations, but he would just ignore them and concentrate on Hermione's hand in his. Recently, however the echoes of voices had been coming up to haunt him.

Words like ' hospital wing', and ' unforgivable use of magic'. Harry tried not to worry about these statements and concentrate on her hands. Her small, soft, capable hands. He ignored voices muttering about waking up, and discussions of counter spells, and one particularly vicious rant about stupid students who shouldn't know such dark magic. He ignored Ron's voice, and Dumbledore's voice, and even Rowen's voice. He just floated, feeling nothing around him but Hermione, smelling nothing but her. Harry never wanted to leave this place, it had no worries, no Voldemort, no imminent battle for the world. It just held his hands, and wrapped him in softness. One voice , though, he couldn't ignore, no matter how he tried.

It was a broken voice, as if it had been used too much or too little, and it was thick with tears, and strained with fear, and terror. “ Harry,” it wouldn't stop it's incessant whispering. “ Harry, please, please wake up. Dumbledore says you might not, not if you don't want to. You can't leave me here Harry! What could be so great that you wouldn't come back? Come back right now Harry! Come back to me..” as the voice spoke it became less broken and more angry, really. Why would I want to leave here? Leave Hermione? Harry drifted a little more. “ I have been sitting here, Harry. I've not left you, and I need you not to leave either! Dammit Harry! Wake the hell up!” The voice was shouting now, but Harry continued to ignore it, focusing instead on the feel of the soft hand gripping his. All of the anger bled out of the voice all of a sudden. “ Harry... I can't- I don't want to do this without you! Please...” at this point the voice dissolved into tears.

Hang on.. Harry drifted a bit closer. I know this voice.. Hermione! Hermione was begging him to come back, crying, yelling at him. But she's here with me.. isn't she? Harry thought hard, and realized that while he could feel Hermione's hand in his, and smell her all around him, he couldn't actually see her. All of a sudden Harry felt as though he were being dragged through a thick substance, and he couldn't stop it. He slowly tried to reach out, to open his eyes, but they felt too heavy, and he was too weak. The sound of Hermione's cries made him attempt it one more time, and this time he was able to open them.

He saw the familiar ceiling of the hospital wing, and a familiar bushy brown head laying down on the bed next to his shoulder. He could smell her shampoo, and feel her hand in his. He squeezed her hand to try to get her attention, and her head shot up in shock. Her brown eyes were puffy from crying, and bloodshot from lack of sleep. “ Harry..” she breathed. Harry tried to smile at her, but it seemed like an awful lot of effort. “ Madame Pomfrey!” Hermione was shouting all of a sudden, gripping his hand tighter than ever. Madame Pomfrey came rushing around the corner, her jaw dropping when she saw that he was awake.

“ Mr. Potter! I must inform the Headmaster at once! You'll need a pepper up potion as well, get a bit of energy in you!” Madame Pomfrey muttered these things to herself, bustling around the bed and tutting. She took a potion bottle out and gave it to him to drink. Harry felt substantially better for drinking, he felt as if he could talk, maybe even sit up. Meanwhile, Madame Pomfrey was trying to get Hermione to leave while she examined Harry, while Hermione was stubbornly refusing to move.

“ I think, Poppy, that you would have learned just how hard it is to remove Miss Granger from her current post.” a voice chuckled from the doorway. Harry looked up to see Dumbledore standing there a smile on his face, “ perhaps, Poppy, you could better employ your time by informing Mr. Weasley and Professor Silva that Harry has awakened.” Madame Pomfrey nodded, and left the room muttering about obstinate girls who thought they knew better than her the whole time.

“ Well, Harry, it certainly is good to see you awake. We were quite worried there for sometime. Do you remember anything, Harry?” Dumbledore walked closer as he spoke, conjuring up a comfy chair to sit in as he looked at Harry.

“ I remem-” Harry cleared his throat, as it felt hard to speak. “ I remember hitting Malfoy, sir. And Hermione dragging me away to yell at me. Then a cold feeling, and that's it. What happened to me?” Harry questioned. Hermione had looked mighty ferocious during his statement.

“Malfoy! That's what happened! That foul little, evil piece of dirt! Harry, I thought you were dea- If Rowen hadn't shown up I would have killed him! Trial, my foot, it's not good enough for him now is it? Give me five minutes alone with the little bastar-” Hermione ranted loudly as Harry looked on , confused, until Dumbledore cleared his throat and interrupted her.

“ While I appreciate the, hm, strength of your feelings on this subject, Miss Granger, I believe you should allow me to explain what happened to Harry.” Hermione glared at Dumbledore, but silently allowed him to continue. “ Harry, after you altercation with Mr. Malfoy, he shot a curse at your back. Luckily Rowen was nearby with Professor Snape, as they were the Hogsmeade chaperons that weekend, and they witnessed the whole thing. Rowen held Miss Granger back and apprehended Mr. Malfoy, whilst Professor Snape transported you to the hospital wing. The curse Mr. Malfoy used, Harry, was the Aegritudo curse, which places a , a type of sickness of the mind on the subject. It is a very powerful spell, and very Dark Magic. We were not quite sure you would awaken, as it is entirely up to the personal strength of the mind to conquer the curse. Mr. Malfoy has been expelled, and tried for his grievances, however no formal charges were filed.” Dumbledore looked greatly pained by this, as if he simply could not believe a student of his had done this. Hermione, however looked livid.

“ Tried! Bah! His mother bought off the Wizengamot, you mean. The little piece of filth should be in Azkaban with his equally evil father!” Hermione was almost white with rage. Harry stroked her hand, which seemed to calm her slightly, and he turned to look at Dumbledore.

“ Sir, I mean, from the way you are talking it sounds as if I have been here for a long time. I mean, how long was I under the influence of this curse?” Harry asked, nervous to know the answer. Dumbledore sighed.

“ It is now the 15^th of November, Harry. You have been here for almost a month.” Harry was shocked by this answer. A month? But it had only felt like a few moments.. Dumbledore's words came back to him, a sickness of the mind.

“ And we weren't only worried about you Harry, but Hermione as well. She's hardly left this room, except to eat, rarely, and take care of schoolwork for the both of you.” Harry looked up to see Rowen standing in the doorway, smiling at him. “ I'm glad to see I won't be losing two of my best students.” she spoke teasingly, but the roughness in her voice, as well as the circles under her eyes spoke measures about how worried she had been. Right behind her was a grinning Ron.

“ Harry! Glad to see you up and about, mate! You had us right worried there for a while!” Ron spoke with immense relief. Harry shot him a weak smile. Dumbledore noticed this, and stood up, ushering the others towards the door.

“ I believe, Harry, that despite all your sleeping, you could use more of it. And as I know better than to urge Miss Granger to leave,” he flicked his wand, transfiguring Hermione's chair into a second bed next to Harry's. “ You will both be needing a few hours rest I'm sure. We're very glad you are okay Harry.” With this soft statement, Dumbledore exited the room, closing the door firmly behind him. Harry turned to look at Hermione who was laying next to him, more on his bed than hers, not that he minded.

Hermione looked exhausted and worried, Harry gently caressed her hand, which had not let go of his throughout all of this. He smiled softly at her , reaching up with his other hand to wipe the tear tracks off of her face. “ Oh, Harry! I must look horrible, I'm sorry! But I am so glad you are awake, I don't ever want to do this again, okay?” Hermione looked into his eyes tearfully.

“ Shh! You are the best thing I could have ever woken up to! And believe me, I have no immediate plans of repeating this!” Harry wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her closer, as if to assure her, and himself, that he was truly alright.

Hermione was silent for a few moments. She finally looked up at him hesitantly. “ Harry? What was it like?” she blushed at this, “ I mean, Dumbledore said that you would create your own world while asleep, and that you would have to be very strong to fight it and come out of it. What happened?” She craned her neck to look at him better. Harry wondered how to explain it to her.

“ It was like.. nothing. And everything you know? It was just a place where it was just me and y- and the feeling that I was free, nothing was weighing on me, no expectations. Just feeling, you know?” Hermione looked slightly confused, but nodded her head.

“ Why did you leave if it was so great? I mean did you mean to, or did it just happen?” she asked, almost shyly. Harry had his chin resting on her head, purposely not looking in her eyes.

“ I heard you Hermione. I heard you talking and it just.. you just... dragged me back. Thank you.” Harry whispered. He felt Hermione nod her head and 'Hmm' in response. They lay there quietly for a while, and finally Harry chanced looking down at her. She was fast asleep on his chest, one hand still entwined with his and the other resting between them. Harry smiled softly, pulled her closer and fell asleep himself.

When Harry woke up, he was alone. The room was dark, and he could see Rowen sitting in a chair next to him, reading. He must have made a sound because she looked up at him and smiled. “ She's gone to the library to catch up, Harry. Said she needed to finish a lot of projects, and threatened me most fiercely that I should under no circumstances leave you alone. As if I would, anyway!” Harry smiled at the thought of Hermione threatening teachers now. We have been a bad influence on her.. Harry sat up, as he was feeling much more well rested now, and suddenly starving.

“ I don't suppose I could get something to eat now?” Harry shot Rowen a smile as she rearranged his pillows behind him. Rowen smiled and indicated a tray the had been left for him. Harry dug into his sandwiches, not pausing to make conversation. Rowen waited patiently, knowing how hungry he must be.

“ Dobby brought those up. He was very happy to hear you were doing better.” Rowen smiled at Harry's enthusiasm as he ate. “ Now, I suppose you'll be wide awake. Alas, it is the middle of the night. Perhaps you'd like to catch up on schoolwork?” she laughed at the expression that came over Harry's face. “ No? Well then we'll just have to think of something else then.”

Harry swallowed the last bite of his food and looked over at her. “ Well, we haven't had much chance to talk one on one. How are things going at the school for you? I know you had.. certain concerns before term started.” Harry reflected that he hadn't actually had much time to speak to her since school had began. Not only this, but it occurred to Harry that perhaps he could speak to Rowen about Hermione without fear that she would judge him.

“Well, I really enjoy the teaching aspect of it. Other things , however, haven't improved much.” she said this with a sad smile. Harry felt guilty for having listened in on her previous conversations. He looked at her with compassion.

“ So you still haven't worked things out with Snape?” Rowen's head shot up as he said this. “ I'm sorry, but I kind of overheard a few conversations, and I didn't mean to. He's been almost nice to me in class lately, you know. At least he hasn't been actively hating me , anyway.” Rowen looked mildly surprised by this news. She shook her head wryly.

“ I should have known, Hagrid has told me about your penchant for discovering things.” she smiled at him to let him know she wasn't mad. “ It's... complicated Harry. I know that that's an overused term, but it's true. Severus and I.. I don't know if it can ever be repaired.”

“ May I ask what happened with you two? Or is it too personal?” Harry sat forward, eager to hear her response. As much as any personal information about Snape may have disgusted him once, they had reached a certain cessation of hostilities since beginning of term. And Harry cared greatly about Rowen, so he could put aside any lingering resentment for Snape if she truly cared for him.

“ Maybe it is personal, but I suppose I have nothing better to do than tell you sad bedtime stories.” Rowen sat back in her chair, and Harry sat back as well, since this looked to be a long tale. “ As I told you before, Harry, Severus and I were close during our school years. After the scene during our O.W.L. year, when he called your mother a mudblood, I ripped into him. Told him he had no right to say things like that to her, and that if he thought that about her, Merlin only knew what he secretly thought of me. He was horrified, and tried to apologize, to explain that he had been angry and mortified and hadn't meant for it to come out. I wouldn't forgive him though. He tried to owl me several times that summer but I ignored him and continued to do so during our 6^th year. I was so mad Harry, and the funny thing was, I wasn't so mad about what he had said, but more angry at what he must have thought of me. He stopped trying to apologize around winter term. We ignored each other, and went on. However when Lily started dating James, I was so alone. And lonely. Not that your mother ignored me Harry,” Rowen hastily added. “ she was just in love, and wanted to be with James as much as possible. It was actually Lily that encouraged me to seek out Severus again. She said that it had been far too long, and it seemed stupid to hold a grudge over something that she didn't even think about anymore.”

“ So I did seek him out. I hated being alone for everything and ostracized by all my peers. So one day I found him, and sat with him and just started talking like nothing had occurred. He was shocked, to say the very least, but he went along with me. Loneliness can be a very desperate emotion, Harry. At some point, I realized that I felt something more for him. I mean, he was by no means perfect,” Rowen smiled as she remembered,” but he saw me, you know? He knew everything and was always there anyway. It went both ways too, I had known him since first year, I knew he had some major character flaws, but I would have done anything for him. We were best friends.” Rowen paused, staring off for a moment.

“ I wish.. you could have known him then, Harry. He was interested in the Dark Arts, yes, but he wasn't obsessed with them, he just had a thirst to know everything. And he was kind to me, and always gentle with me. He never once treated me as anything less than his equal. Once I.. told him how I felt, we were together, and happy. We graduated and we started jobs, he was working with St. Mungo's as a potion brewer and researcher, and I was doing file work for the Department of Mysteries. They weren't great jobs, but we were content. We were living together in London, we were planning to get married.. and have kids eventually. Then one day he didn't come home. He was missing for a week, and I was so relieved when he finally came home. He tried to explain, but I didn't listen I just was so overwhelmed that I couldn't let him go to explain. Then I saw his arm. I saw the mark. I couldn't believe what he had done.” Rowen's eyes started to fill with tears. “ I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest, and all I could do was stare. All I felt was an immense sense of pain, and eventually rage at what he had done. He tried to talk to me, but I couldn't hear any of it , you know? I was just packing, all of a sudden, and screaming at him. He looked... broken, like he couldn't even try to mount a defense at that point. It was the last time I saw him. I never let him contact me, I never allowed anyone to bring him up to me, though some tried, including Lily. I didn't see him again until the meeting of the Order. And that's the whole story.” Rowen sighed, and looked sadly at Harry.

Harry couldn't believe it, he stared at Rowen, feeling awful that he had forced her to relive all of this. She stared at the wall, trying to control herself and gather her thoughts. Eventually she looked up at Harry.

“ It's the most wonderful thing, Harry, being in love with your best friend.” she stated softly. “ It didn't work out for me, but I don't regret any of it. Sometimes you need to take that chance, because even if the rewards are brief, they're great.” Rowen was looking intently at Harry now, and Harry didn't think she was talking about just herself anymore. “ You need to tell her, Harry. I don't think your ending will be unhappy at all. She loves you, you know. Everyone around the two of you see it, except yourselves. Tell her, soon, please.” with a smile, Rowen got up as the door opened and Hermione entered.

“ Don't forget what I said Harry.” she stared softly, as she walked out the door. Harry stared after her for a while before turning towards Hermione's confused face.

A/N: hey just wanted to thank everyone for reviewing! I'm halfway through HBP now, and I seem to be tolerating it okay so far... but we'll see I guess eh? I hope everyone is enjoying the story and please review? I love the feedback! Thanks! - Gidget