Author's note: The following is inspired by a post by Amethyst about Hermione, which can be found in Goldy's livejournal. It's an interesting rationalization of Hermione's behavior in HBP that brings hope to the world.
It's also tome_raider's birthday today (July 20th), so here's my birthday present to you; thanks for all the wonderful recs!
And while this story may contain spoilers for HBP, they're likely not that big since I haven't read the book past Chapter Three yet. As such, I take some dramatic license with the plot, such as the fact that they're all in school again. Let's pretend that Harry et. al defeated Voldemort over the summer, the school reopened (I did skip to the last chapter), and everyone's back for classes.
Mission of Mercy
"If that's what you think, then just forget it!" Hermione yelled from the bottom of the stairs that led to the girls' dormitory
"Fine, be that way!" Ron shouted back from across the room.
"Fine!" Hermione screamed back, my head swiveling back and forth between them. It was like watching a tennis match, though much louder but nearly as exhausting.
"Fine!" Ron retorted in that clever manner of his.
All eyes in the Common Room shifted back to Hermione, wondering if we would get another cycle of "Fine!" or if there'd be something new. But to our surprise, she…well…the best way to describe it was that she roared, and stomped up the stairs. We all turned to see Ron's reaction. He stared after Hermione for a second, made a weird "Argh! Ragh!" noise, and then left the Common Room, slamming the portrait behind him.
I took off my glasses and put them on the table, where only minutes before I was doing my homework with my two best friends in a sea of tranquility. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, trying to exorcise the stress from my skull. You'd think that after having witnessed countless of these arguments, I'd've become numb to them, but since last year, they seemed to have taken a harsher, angrier tone. I sighed heavily and picked up my glasses, only to find myself surrounded by Gryffindors.
"Gah!" I yelped, nearly falling backwards from my chair. I would've too, if not for the fact that Seamus was directly behind me. "What the…?"
"Listen Harry, you have to do something," Neville said.
"Please Harry, you're the only one!" Lavender wailed.
"You have to help us!"
"It's driving me crazy! I don't think I can stand any more of it!" Ginny cried, pulling at her hair.
"If it goes on much longer, I may kill myself!" moaned Natalie.
I looked around at all the concerned faces, a feeling of dread welling inside. "Okay, okay, calm down," I said. "What's going on?"
"It's Ron and Hermione! You have to make them stop fighting!"
"Okay, no prob - er, what?" I looked at them curiously. This was not the life-threatening situation I had anticipating.
"Their arguing is too much. Every day, they're yelling and yelling and...and..." Pavarti choked back sobs but was unable to continue, finding refuge in Dean's arms.
"There there, there there, it'll be okay," Lavender said while gently patting Pavarti's back.
I looked around in disbelief. "Is this some kind of joke?"
They all looked at one another. Then Ginny said, "Harry, you just don't see it. You're too close to it, too used to it. But for the rest of us, their constant arguing and the tension…it's just so…" Ginny broke off, also unable to continue. Neville put his arms around her, and she wept silently.
"But…but…" I just couldn't understand why this was such a big deal. "They've always been fighting, ever since first year!"
Seamus shook his head. "It's different Harry. Somehow it's gotten worse."
I couldn't argue with that, and I admit that what I used to think was amusing was now tedious, but I had no idea it was affecting everyone else like this. "And…you want me to fix it?"
All heads nodded in unison.
"How?"
"Just talk them Harry, you're good at that," Pavarti sniffed.
"Good at that? Good at talking? Exactly which Harry do you think you're talking to?" But no one responded to my clever wit, and they all looked at me with such, `help me Harry, you're my only hope' expressions. I sighed. "Fine. But I can't promise miracles."
A loud cheer erupted from the Common Room.
Once all the pats on the back and handshakes were over, I picked up my quill, intending to finish my homework. As I put the point of the quill on the parchment, I realized that the entire room was eerily silent. I looked up, to find everyone looking at me expectantly.
"What? Now?"
They just continued to stare. With a loud sigh, I stood up and left on a mission of mercy.
*********
Since I couldn't talk to Hermione while she was in the girls' dormitory, my first step was to talk to Ron. And since the deepest conversation I'd ever had with Ron was consoling him the time his acne was so powerful that it resisted magic, I knew this wouldn't be easy. I found Ron in one of the new practice rooms, where he was Reducto'ing everything in sight.
"Ron! Ron!" I shouted over the din of exploding wood.
Ron spun around angrily, his wand pointed at my chest. "What!"
I raised an eyebrow, and slowly pushed his wand tip aside. "Easy there."
Ron looked embarrassed. "Ah, yeah, sorry about that Harry. You surprised me, is all," he said as he pocketed his wand.
I looked around at the room, full of splintered wood, torn cushions, and feathers slowly drifting to the floor. "I like what you've done with the place."
Ron chuckled. "Thanks. I had some aggression I had to release."
"Yeah, no kidding."
I was sifting my foot through a pile of rubbish when Ron said, "Er, Harry? Not to sound rude, but what are you doing here?"
I sighed, unable to put this off any longer. I looked at him. "What's up with you and Hermione?"
Ron's eyebrows shot up in surprise, no doubt because I've never been this direct with him before. "What do you mean," he said eventually.
"You know what I mean: the constant fighting is what I mean. The loud, constant fighting."
"What are you talking about? Me `n Hermione have always fought."
"Yeah, but not like this. Not so…vehemently."
"Not so what?" asked Ron.
"Strongly, with such anger. Before, you guys just bickered. Now you're fighting, and both of you are saying really mean things to each other."
Ron opened his mouth, and I thought he was going to object. He probably was, but then he just slumped into the one chair that wasn't kindling. I conjured one up for myself and sat down next to him. "You're right," he said.
"I am? I mean, of course I am." I didn't think it would be this easy.
"Yeah, I don't know what it is. I mean, when we've fought in the past, it's usually my fault. I had fun pushing her buttons. But now…"
"Yeah?" I said encouragingly.
"I dunno. It's like now Hermione's the one who starts things. And she knows exactly what to say to get my blood boiling."
I thought about that for a minute, and I realized that Ron was actually perceptive for once: Hermione had started the majority of the fights lately, and over such small, petty things. I was at a loss of what to do next; I had assumed that this was Ron's fault (as it almost always is), so I really didn't know where to go from here. "Well," I said hesitantly, "maybe you fight with her because you fancy her?" It was suspicion I'd had for a long time, but it was always a taboo subject between us.
"What?" Ron demanded, looking indignant. "You think I'm the type of guy who fights and teases a girl he fancies, rather than sit her down and have a long, heartfelt discussion about it?"
I stared at Ron for a minute, who looked mightily insulted, before I burst into laughter. "Whoa," I said, catching my breath. "Good one."
Ron wiped at his eyes, having crumbled into laughter a split second after I did. "Thanks, I thought I had you for a second."
I shook my head. "Nope, known you too long for that." We both took deep breaths to calm down. "But seriously," I said.
"All right, all right. I admit that at one point I did fancy her," he said, blushing. "But that was a long time ago."
"A `long' time ago?"
"Okay fine, maybe not so long…but honestly, that's in the past."
"Really?" I asked doubtfully.
"Yes, really. I did a little soul-searching, and thought long and hard about what a relationship with Hermione would mean. I pictured what life would be like, how our lives would evolve over time and the way in which we would interact, support, and possibly love each other. I tired to put myself in her shoes, to see how she would react to me. And finally, after months of examining my own feelings and hers, I realized that we just don't have enough in common to build a rich, lasting relationship upon."
I quirked an eyebrow, and Ron raised his hands in surrender. "Okay fine, the crazy witch was driving me crazy! I mean honestly, can you imagine living the rest of your life with a girl like that?"
Although I could, I decided not to answer the obviously rhetorical question. "Then, do you promise to be nice from now on?"
"She starts it!" he said, sounding more like the mature Ron that I know.
"Okay, but if I convince her to lay off, will you?"
"Of course."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Good," I said, "because if you don't, then I will have to beat the crap out of you."
Ron waved his hands in front of him. "Oooohhh, I'm scared. You do realize that you're six inches shorter and twenty pounds lighter than me, right?"
"True," I allowed, "but you're not the one with the fancy nickname."
"Oh right," Ron said. "The Boy-Who-Lived. Strikes fear into my heart, it does. What say I get a similar nickname? You can call me the Boy-Who-Is-Tall. Or The Boy-with-Red-Hair!"
I couldn't help but laugh. "Git."
"Prat."
"Let's get out of here. The feathers are starting to affect my allergies."
"Oh right," Ron said as we left the room. "Yet another reason to fear you, Mr. Boy-Who-Lived-With-Allergies!"
"Shut it!" I said, chuckling. But as we made our way back to the Common Room, I grew apprehensive. I knew that talking to Hermione wasn't going to be nearly as easy.
*********
A/N: one more chapter to go, which will incorporate the stuff from Amethyst's post. Funny, I have three in-progress stories that are all awaiting their final chapters.
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