Chapter 12: Please
"We're the kids who feel like dead ends." - Fall Out Boy from I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)
Monday October 20th, 1979
Panic set in. Please don't let him be dead. Please, please, please, please. If there is a God up there, somewhere. Please do not let him be dead. Oh God. What am I gonna do? Please don't be dead. She faintly saw his chest rise and fall. He's alive. Oh thank God. Thank you. But still I need help. Lily. I need Lily's help. I don't even know where we are!
Lily! LILY!
Sarah?
YES! LILY! Oh thank God. I need you. Right now. It's Sirius.
What's wrong?
He…well, he's unconscious. But he's not dead! Oh God, Lily, I thought he was dead! I'm so scared. I don't know what to do! Please Lily!
SARAH! Calm down. Is he ok?
No. Not at all. Come quickly.
What? Where are you?
Uh…I don't know! Lily, hurry!
James is getting the map. Found you. We're coming. Just hang on.
I'm trying. Please hurry, Lily.
We are!
Sarah sank to the floor and tried to undo the ropes around his wrists. She couldn't help the tears that ran down her face. He can't die. He can't. He's Sirius. He's not gonna leave. Don't leave me. Please? I'm sorry. Please don't go.
Sarah, we're almost there.
Good. I see you! LILY!
"Sirius!" James called out as he ran to his friend, lying in the middle of the hall. "What happened?"
Sarah shook her head. "I don't know, I just found him."
"We've got to get him to the Hospital Wing," Lily said.
"Locomotor Sirius," James said and Sirius' body floated into the air. He led the two girls to the Hospital Wing. When they arrived Madame Pomfry was in a bustle. She tried to shoo James, Lily, and Sarah out of the wing, but they refused. She made them wait outside his little room while she cleaned him up.
"Do you think he'll be ok?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah," James answered.
Sarah nodded and continued to star off into space. "I should've gone with him."
"Don't blame yourself," Lily told her.
Madame Pomfry came out of his room. "You can go in now. But he's sleeping, so keep it quiet," she warned.
They nodded and slipped into Sirius' room.
James walked to Sirius' bed and sat down in the chair next to his head.
Lily bit her lip and sat down on the chair that was made for two people. Sarah sat down next to her.
He looks horrible, Lily. Look at his face. I can't believe this. This could've been avoided if I just would've went with him.
I don't know what they did to him. It's not your fault Sarah. If you would've went with him it still would've happened, only you would be hurt too. And no one would have found you guys.
Still. How could they do that to him? It looks like they cut his face with a knife or something. And his arm. It's almost too painful to look at. Look at James. I feel so bad for him.
Sirius will be fine, Sarah. Stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault.
It is though. I can't be here. I'm going to go.
Should I come with you?
No. I'm going to go tell the rest. Ok? Stay here. James might need you.
Ok. You know how to get me if you need anything.
Thanks Lily. You're my best friend.
Lily smiled. I know. You're mine too.
Sarah walked out of Sirius' room.
"Where is she going?" James asked Lily.
Lily shook her head. "She can't stand this. Being here."
James nodded. "I understand. I'm just glad she found him."
"She really thinks it her fault. Because she didn't go with."
"But if she went, no one would have found them."
"I know."
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Sarah bit her lip as she walked into the dorm that she shared with Lane and Cassidy.
"Hey Sarah," Lane said. "Are you ok? Is something wrong?" she asked as soon as she caught a glimpse of Sarah's face.
Sarah walked over to her bed and sat down. "No. Sirius is in the Hospital Wing."
"Why? What happened??" Lane asked.
"The Slytherins attacked him. I don't know what they did to him. He was really hurt."
"Are you serious? Is he going to be ok? Were you with him? Tell me all of it Sarah," Lane said.
"I found him lying unconscious. And then Lily and James came and we took him to the Hospital Wing. Lily and James are with him now."
"Is he awake? Does he know what happened?"
Sarah shook her head. "I don't know."
"I'm going to go find Cassidy and Remus, then we'll go see Sirius."
"Ok," Sarah replied.
"Are you coming with?" Lane asked.
"No."
"Oh. Ok," Lane said as she walked out of their dorm on her search for Cassidy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A picture of Sirius in the hospital bed kept forcing itself into her brain. It flashed between that picture and one of him lying on the ground where she had found him. She threw back her covers and pulled a sweatshirt on over her tank top and didn't bother to change out of her pajama pants. She slipped her slippers on and snuck out of the dorm. She tried to be as quiet as she could. It felt wrong to disturb the peace and quiet that settled over Hogwarts late at night. The Gryffindor common room was empty and only a few embers glowed from the fireplace. She swung open the portrait without much disturbance and took the empty hallways that led her to the Hospital Wing. Once she arrived at the doors that led into the actual room, she hesitated. Her nerves were running high and she tried to calm them down. She had made it that far. Why should she stop there? Where was that Gryffindor courage the Sorting Hat was always talking about? She pulled the door hand and opened it without a creak. She crept into the Hospital Wing and stealthily made her way to Sirius' room. She went inside and pulled a chair up to the side of his bed and eased herself into it. Moonlight streamed in through the windows. Madame Pomfry had healed his cuts and wounds. There was a light pink line on his cheek where she remembered one of the worst slashes had been. She stared at his sleeping face.
She didn't know what to do. Or why she felt so compelled to come here in the first place. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She settled on trying to talk to him, grateful that he wouldn't remember and that he couldn't respond.
She opened her mouth to tell him that it would be ok. That he would be fine. That everyone hoped he was feeling alright and to get better. But all that came out was, "I'm sorry, Sirius." Please forgive me. Tears slid down her face. For Sirius, and for all the emotions raging inside her, demanding attention.
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Sirius opened his eyes. He panicked when he realized he was in the Hospital Wing. Slowly it all came back to him. He remembered Lily and James talking. Then Lane, Cassidy and Remus. And he remembered hearing Sarah's voice telling him that she was sorry. He took a closer look at his surroundings and realized that Sarah was sleep on a chair facing the side of his bed with her head resting on the bed. He smiled to himself and fell back asleep.
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Tuesday October 21st, 1979
Sirius opened his eyes again. It was morning and sunlight poured through the large windows. He looked to Sarah's spot, but she wasn't there. He looked up and saw her leaving the room. She glanced back and their eyes met. She quickly averted them and rushed out of the room without saying anything to him. He want to go after her. But what would he say?
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"I'm going to go visit Sirius before classes," James said as he got up from the breakfast table.
"D'you want me to go with?" Remus asked.
"Nah," James said. "I think I can managed to find the way by myself."
"Tell him we all said 'hi' and to get out of there soon," Lily said with a smile.
"Breakfast is too quiet without him," Lane said.
James nodded and started on his uneventful trip to the Hospital Wing. When he was almost there he ran into Kristen.
"Oh, sorry. Hey James. I didn't see Sirius today. Is he alright?" Kristen asked.
"Uh, he's just not feeling that great today," James told her.
"Oh, ok. Tell him to get better for me. 'Bye James," she said as she continued on her way.
James watched her figure get farther away from him, and he finished his walk to the Hospital Wing. He let himself into Sirius' room. Sirius was attempting to get out of bed, but every time he attempted to swing his legs over the side of the bed, they immediately stuck to the bed, like two magnets attracting.
"Hey Padfoot," James said.
"Prongsie!" Sirius replied.
"Everyone says to feel better."
"I'd feel a whole hell of a lot better if I could get out of this damn bed." James laughed. "I'm serious. I think she's gone mad and put some sort of charm on this so I can't leave it! It's horrible!"
James laughed even harder.
"It's not funny Prongs!"
"Yes it is Paddy."
"Shut it Prongs."
"Sorry, Paddy. She just finally came up with a way to keep you from sneaking out. Priceless."
"Well I'm glad you find it so damn entertaining."
"Wait 'til you're in here. And then we'll see who's laughing then," Sirius told him with a scowl.
"Oh….ok. I'm sorry Padfoot."
"I s'pose it's alright."
"Guess who I ran into coming up here."
"Minnie? And I bet she was so devastated that I won't be in her class today."
"No. Guess again."
"Lily. And she finally told you about our torrid love affair."
"Very funny. Guess again."
"Dumbledore and he wanted to congratulate us on another brilliant prank."
"No. One more. Realistic this time."
"Sarah. And she finally proclaimed her secret love for me."
"No. It was Kristen and she asked about you. She cares about you, Sirius. Unlike Sarah who left just as soon as Madame Pomfry let us in here last night. I don't know why you're so hung up on her."
So she didn't tell anyone about her little escapade last night.
"Maybe she didn't want to see me in a hospital bed."
James snorted. "Like I do? Sorry Paddy. I just don't' think she's right for you. I have to go. I actually have to attend classes today."
"I'd rather go then be stuck in here. It's dead boring. At least I'd have you there to amuse me."
"'Luck Padfoot."
"Thanks," Sirius said sarcastically.
"Bye," James said has he exited the room.
"Bye."
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Lily, I have a headache. I'm going to see Madame Pomfry.
Should I go with you?
No. Just worry about chatting with James and keeping his attention all the way down to the dungeons.
Ok. 'Bye, Sar.
Bye my love.
Sarah turned around and headed for the Hospital Wing. She managed to slip in without catching Madame Pomfry's attention and made her way into Sirius' room. She watched him try to put his leg over the side of the bed but it was always stopped by an invisible wall. This went on for about a minute before he realized she was watching him and he quickly stopped. "I didn't see you there."
"I don't suppose you did. Are you feeling better?"
"I'm fine. I just wish I could get out. There's nothing. To do."
"Aw. Did Pomfry ask what happened?"
"No. It's sort of a I-don't-ask, don't-tell sort of policy she has. If she did ask I guess she'd have to dock points and if that was the case, we'd be in the negatives."
"So you're in here a lot. I think there's only four places I'd have to look for you if I need you."
"Where?"
"You're either here, at the kitchens, at detention or in Lily and James' room."
"I'm on the Quidditch Pitch too."
"Yes, but then I'd be there with you so I wouldn't have to look for you."
"I do go to classes you know."
"Rarely. But anyways, I didn't come here to argue with you."
"Really? What did you come here for then?"
Sarah shrugged. "Because I wanted to."
"Because you missed me?"
"Oh yes. Because I missed you soooo much," Sarah said with a hint of sarcasm. "And just to let you know, I'm not speaking to you once you get out."
"Why?" Sirius asked.
"Because you wouldn't be in here in the first place if you would've let me go with you."
"Sarah, I'm fine. It doesn't really matter now. Besides, this gives me some time to plan my revenge."
"You have to get out of here first. And it looks like you'll have some trouble with that."
"Don't remind me. Bloody nurse. Pain in my arse, that's what she is. D'you know what? I think she fancies me. That's why she won't let me out. She wants to keep me here for her own devices."
Sarah laughed. "I don't think she fancies you. Sorry."
"How do you know? She even took my shirt off of me…"
"To heal your arm."
"Still. What kind of person would keep me from my adoring fans? Especially after such a great prank? A monster that's who!"
"A monster that healed you, that's more like it. You should be thankful."
"Why? You could've healed me. I know you're good with that stuff."
Sarah lowered her gaze. "I froze. I didn't do anything."
"What happened last night?" Sirius asked her.
Sarah sighed. "I found you…and I didn't know what to do. I got Lily and James and they brought you here. I didn't do anything. I panicked."
"Sarah, it's ok," he told her. She was clearly upset.
"Please, Sirius…I know it's not. You lost a lot of blood last night. That's why you have to stay here. If I wouldn't of have been so stupid, I could've tried to head at least some of your cuts. Then maybe you wouldn't still be in here." Sarah headed for the door. "Bye Sirius." And with that, she left.
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"So how's Sirius?" Lily asked Sarah. They were sitting in the Head's room during their break.
"How would I know?" Sarah asked innocently.
"Because I know that's why you went to the Hospital Wing. To see him."
"Oh, shut it. I know you like him. You're in de-nial."
"If I am, then you most certainly are."
"I do not like James."
"Yes you do. And you call him James now. I know who I like, and it's not Sirius."
"Who is it?"
"You already know. Zane Ashby," Sarah said with a sigh.
"Ugh. Gag me."
"Why?" James asked as he entered the room.
"Sarah likes Zane Ashby," Lily told him.
"Who's he?"
"An American film star."
"The hottest American I've ever seen! And he's our age too!" Sarah said.
"You're obsessed," Lily told her.
"I know," Sarah replied. "I'm going."
"Lily, will you be honest with me?" James asked after Sarah left.
"Sure," Lily said.
"Does Sarah fancy Sirius? Yes or no? I need to know."
"Yes, I think so, a bit. Why?"
"Sirius. He…I don't know…She's different. And maybe…I thought…I don't know…" James tried to explain but couldn't find the words.
"Mmmhmmm…" Lily nodded in agreement, although she hadn't the slightest idea what he was talking about.
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Sarah sat with her knees drawn to her chest. James didn't think she was good enough for Sirius.
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Sarah stared at the ceiling for the second night in a row. This is ridiculous. Why do I feel so horrible yet? She crept out of bed and walked to the Hospital Wing. Sirius was awake, sitting up in his bed.
"Thought you might come," he said as she walked towards him.
"Oh yea? How did you know?"
"I didn't. I just hoped you would."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
A/N: Oh yea. I'm back. Like a week and 5 days late. Sorry. Yo tengo escuela y cheerleading cada dia. (I don't know how to say cheerleading in Spanish & I think that's how you say every day. Not sure.) Hope you liked this chapter despite its delay. Next chapter will probably about nonsense, but then the chapter after that will be what you've all been waiting for. Well, most of you at least. You know what that means? REVIEW! =]
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