She trusted Harry Potter, more than she had dared to trust anyone else. She convinced herself that he would understand and that he would love her despite everything. But, that was a mistake. She could only understand the depth of it after lying in this cell for the past fifteen years. Now, all that remained for her was dreams of what she could have been if she had picked another path.
Many years ago, she had fallen in love with a boy; she knew her friends and family would never accept him. He was everything she wanted. He was sweet, caring, and sensitive. But, no one else saw it, no one else knew him like she did. They hated him. They never took the time to earn his trust, to see him in a way other than the way they wanted. He was the son of a Death Eater and that was all they cared to know.
They drove him away. After many tears and whispered promises he left to make everything right. He was determined to earn the respect of the people she loved so that they could be together. He would have done anything for their love. Even though every instinct was telling her to never let him go, she watched him walk out of the door. Though she didn't know it then, that was the day he walked out of her life as well.
His flaws made him perfect, while the perfections of the others she loved betrayed her in the end. He made a mistake by agreeing to help the Death Eaters. He assured the Order he had only done so to please his father and out of fear for what Voldemort would do to him if he refused. His pleading fell on deaf ears. For some reason, the Order never truly trusted him. Ginny first reached out to him in an attempt to show him that someone did care. At that point, he was so desperate that he reached back. After he finally let down his barriers, something clicked between them.
Everyone in the Order seemed to hold the good of the magical world above all else. To be honest, she felt inadequate when in the company of Harry, Hermione, or any of her brothers. They seemed to have no doubts about what they were doing. Draco was the first person that showed her his weaknesses, the first person who made her feel like she was enough. That was something she needed after Tom Riddle had left her broken in the Chamber of Secrets. It was something she missed once Draco was gone.
He promised her he would come back, so she waited. She spent many lonely nights remembering the way his strong arms encircled her, consuming her in his warmth. She remembered the sound of his breath in his ear, and how it tickled if he did it just that certain way. She remembered the sound of his laughter as they splashed through ankle deep puddles together on otherwise dreary summer nights. It was like the rain washed away everything else but him.
She let all of that slip away, allowing another to win her heart. He convinced her that their love was a lie. He told her that what others had seen on the surface was who Draco really was and that this sweet persona was a façade. She was so lonely, so hungry for love that she began to believe it. She almost forgot the boy who made her complete.
Eventually, she was so convinced that she trusted him. She trusted Harry Potter with the secret she had never told anyone. It would be years before she realized that this would become the biggest mistake she ever made. Harry considered the future of the Light his first priority. It was a noble act by a noble man. Still, she believed that he would do anything for their love. If only she knew he would be the one who saw to her condemnation.
Most people forgot that Voldemort possessed Ginny in her first year. The few who didn't would never have believed that any of it was Ginny's doing. Even Dumbledore said that many wizards greater than her had been hoodwinked by the Dark Lord. What they all failed to realize was that the Dark Lord picked Ginny for a reason, for a darker side he saw present in her. It was this hidden side that initially caught Draco's eye.
For many years, Ginny had flashbacks to the Chamber, and blinding moments where rage would slither up from her gut like a serpent threatening to poison her soul. She told no one, sneaking into the Restricted Section to search for answers. When Harry told her about Horcruxes, she realized what Tom Riddle had done to her. A few trips into the shadier parts of the magical world and a few conversations with some very interesting creatures had verified her hunch.
Voldemort was cautious, more cautious than any other wizard in the world. He planned for every eventuality. Despite creating the seven Horcruxes and believing his death impossible, he still had a backup plan. He placed a tiny scrap of his essence into Ginny's soul. Someday, he hoped that part of him would overtake her or her progeny. It might not have been a way to maintain himself and his power entirely, but it would sustain his soul in some form. She had never told anyone but Draco…and Harry.
She had assumed that Harry would love her enough to accept that she couldn't have his children. She believed he would let them live their lives out together forever. She was wrong. Harry lost nearly everything in his quest to defeat Voldemort: his parents, his godfather, his mentor (Dumbledore), and many of his best friends. He was paranoid about any possibility that their deaths go to waste, that all of that work might somehow be undone.
Even though Ginny's magical prowess virtually guaranteed that she would never be affected by this fragment of Voldemort's soul, Harry had panicked. He was the reason she was locked up in an asylum…the reason her name was whispered fearfully by witches and wizards round the world. Though it devastated him to do so, he testified before the Wizengamot and a Special Ministry of Magic panel that she was a threat. She was committed to a maximum security asylum for the remainder of her life.
She couldn't help thinking that maybe, if he hadn't found out about her and Draco, they would have been alright. A queasy feeling sunk into her stomach the day she came back from work and found him standing in the middle of their bedroom with a picture in his hands. It was the one memory she had allowed herself to keep. It was a picture of her and Draco, soaking wet from the rain and full of laughter. His arms were wrapped tight around her waist and her head was thrown back against his chest.
Harry's eyes burned with rage that night, and their relationship had never been the same. He was always distant. His eyes always burned harshly where there had only been softness before. He said he forgave her, but Ginny had known something had changed. Harry would never trust her again.
After a year of living like this, distant and cold, she couldn't take it anymore. She told him about what happened in the Chamber of Secrets in an attempt to regain his trust. This time, she told him everything. She thought if she told him her secret, he would realize that the she and Draco were truly done. She could not have been more wrong. Now she wondered if Harry would have betrayed her if he hadn't known that she once loved his enemy, once loved a Death Eater. She wondered how he would react if he knew she still loved him today.
At first, Harry visited. Perhaps, the guilt he felt was assuaged when he thought of the frequency of his visits to her. Maybe it made him feel that he did not betray her, because he continued to stay by her side, even while she was in the asylum. Nonetheless, it didn't last. The visits gradually slowed, then stopped altogether. A few years ago, he married his old love, Luna Lovegood, who was now a famous seer. They had three children, children that Ginny had once dreamed of with Harry. Children she always knew she could never have.
Nowadays she spent her time reminiscing, regretting, and dreaming, whiling away the years until the welcome end. She didn't feel much anymore. Her heart felt numb. Her tears had dried after Harry stopped coming to her. There was no more anger or feeling of betrayal, just the dull knowledge that she had brought about her own end. If only she had waited for Draco to return to her instead of weakening in resolve.
If only she had kept her secret. If only she had known Harry better. If only she had known herself better. If only
she had known the harshness of reality better. There were so many "if only" statements. She agonized over
them. But as much as she regretted it, there was no way to change the past, to make things right again.
---
Draco looked up at the harsh gray towers of the McAlister Asylum. He sighed. He never expected things to end up this way. Many years ago, he had been the bad guy, and she the angel who brought light into everyone's life.
Now, she was labeled as a danger to society, and he was known as the person who destroyed the last Horcrux, the man who killed Lucius Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy allowed himself to become a slave of the Dark Lord, allowed Voldemort to possess him totally by becoming the keeper of his soul. The thought of it still made Draco's lip curl in disgust. He was glad that he had killed his father. In some ways, it had freed him from all the bonds that held him in the darkness. He wasn't drowning anymore, and he didn't need Ginny to save him. He wanted her just for who she was, not for what she could do for him. Seventeen years had changed everything.
It nearly killed him to leave her. He had never admitted to himself how much she meant to him. As soon as he left, though, he could feel the emptiness inside. He missed her, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Now, the ache that had been repressed for so long sprung back full-force to remind him of how much they both had lost.
It still took him by surprise. The way they came together was unexpected, and in a way, unwanted. They were drowning and held on to each other to save themselves. Somewhere between that day and the day he killed his father, he fell in love with her. He didn't know when, he didn't care why. He was here today to save her from herself, just like he did years ago. This time, there was nothing to gain for him.
<i>Draco stood in front of the sink,
staring at his reflection in the cracked mirror. Tears he never showed in public dripped down his chin to the white
porcelain between his fingers. He never thought that it would come to this.
He had never been a killer. He hadn't been able to kill Dumbledore, nor any of the other wizards he was supposed to kill. He just couldn't take someone else's life, not when he valued his own so much. All he wanted was for the Muggles to leave the magical world, and he didn't see how killing magical people would further his cause.
He shut his eyes and the tears stopped, leaving salty sticky trails down his cheeks. Turning away from the brutal reflection, he strode out of the bathroom. If killing them would save him, he would do what must be done. No matter how he felt about killing others, he valued his own life much more.
Swinging down Knockturn Alley, he found a group of his allies surrounding a girl. He grimaced to himself. That girl should have known better than to wander down Knockturn Alley. When the screams started, he stopped. He could never stand by and let some poor witch become slave to these men's lust. Muggles were there for the taking, no need to destroy the few witches that were left.
He spun and broke the circle roughly. Striding to the center and sweeping the girl up, he said harshly, "Let the witch go. There's few enough of their kind as it is. Save them for marriage. I'm sure there are Muggles that would be more than willing to exchange their lives for your attention."
The men looked at him with restrained fury. They knew not to interfere. Sweeping through them and back down to Diagon Alley, Draco grabbed the girl by the arm and took her with him. Fortunately, he had interfered before the girl got hurt.
"God knows why you were down there, but don't go back. I won't stop them again." The girl had the nerve to grab his arm. He turned to look at her impatiently. The red hair pulled at his memory. In utter disbelief, he realized he had rescued a Weasley.
"Believe me, I didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't go down there unless I had to, and I had to. I need something from there."
He laughed. "I doubt a blood traitor would want anything that could be found in Knockturn Alley."
She didn't react. "Seeing as I'm a 'blood traitor' and you're not, I think I have the rightful say in this matter."
He looked at her with disdain. "Then do so at your own risk. It does not matter in the least to me."
She pulled out her wand and said quietly, "Crucio."
He merely smirked. She obviously never heard of shields before. She would learn now. His shields protected him from the Cruciatus and the Imperius curse. It also worked well against the more deadly of the curses used by the Death Eaters. One couldn't afford to go unprotected in the kind of company he kept.
Suddenly, his expression changed to shock, and then indescribable pain. Weasley had broken through his shields!
"I suppose it matters to you now," she murmured with a glint in her eye. He nodded mutely.
"What do you want?" he asked. She told him as his eyes widened in shock.
"I need a potion, one you can only find at Borgin and Burkes," she whispered, her wand still pointed at him. "Since you know all about that place, I've just decided you're going to help me get it!"
"What?" Draco snapped back in protest, taking a step towards her.
Ginny moved her wand into a threatening position. "Don't test me right now, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood for it."
Draco eyed the end of Ginny's wand apprehensively. "What sort of potion is this anyway?"
"It's called Animus Divisi. It's supposed to be able to build a barrier between parts of the soul. It's not a Horcrux; it doesn't break apart the soul. It merely builds a barrier. People who may have been possessed in the past use it to be rid of any lingering effects."
"What? Why do you need something like that?" he asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Never you mind, walk!" she ordered him.
After shooting her one last untrusting glare, he turned and started back towards Knockturn Alley. When they arrived at Borgin and Burkes, Ginny gave him some gold. She waited outside the shop after warning him that she would be watching. He went in and bought the potion with no difficulty. Ginny was right. The shop keeper still remembered him and began trembling upon spotting him. He gave Draco the potion without comment.
When he gave it to Ginny, a very satisfied smile grew on her face. "Thank you."
At the time, it occurred to him to lash out at her with the nastiest thing he could of to say. Looking at her wand again, he thought better of it.
He muttered quietly, "You're welcome."
That had been their first meeting. He doubted that either of them realized it would bind them tighter than ever. For the next few months, instead of making disapproving faces at him when they met, she would stop him and ask various questions about the Dark Arts and what they could accomplish. She seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. He'd never experienced anything like that before.
Anyways, her questions intrigued him. They grew more comfortable with each other, and began calling one another by their first names. Still the mystery remained. She needed the Dark Arts, she needed him, and he didn't know why.
He remembered the day like it was yesterday, the day when he confronted her about it all. He couldn't take it any more. He simply had to know.
"Why are you doing this, Ginny?" She looked at him sharply.
"I find it more prudent to keep it to myself. No one knows except me. Why should I trust you?"
Draco smirked. "If I knew what was wrong, I could help you fix it."
Ginny said bluntly, "It can't be fixed, only delayed. The Chamber of Secrets was a horrible part of my life. I will never be rid of it entirely."
Draco stopped smirking. "The Chamber of Secrets? Perhaps you can fill me. All I know is what I have heard in the various rumors the made the rounds afterwards. Did something happen to you down there?" Draco's eyes lit up. Ginny could see his mind working out details from the various scraps of information he'd gotten from all these little chats. Only now was he beginning to put all the pieces together. "Possession? Wait, is that why you wanted that potion? Did…he…possess you? Is that why you can break through my shields like he can?" He paused. "Merlin, are you connected to him somehow?"
Ginny's face was blank. "No more questions."
Draco's eyes burned with fury. "Damn it, Ginny! I'm trying to save your life! The least you can do is be honest with me!"
"You're only trying because I have power over you. I can break your shields. I can hurt you. I could throw any spell at you, and you would be powerless to stop me."
Draco explained patiently, "And the faster I heal you, the quicker I will be free of you. You'll have no use for me beyond that, will you?"
Ginny smiled. You could be a spy and bring us information on the Death Eaters? We could use someone life you, who could bring us reliable information."
Draco tried to shrug off feelings of panic. For the past week, the relationship with Ginny Weasley had gone beyond intrigue. He cared about her, somehow. She wasn't very good at hiding her emotions (at least not to the point where a Malfoy couldn't read her), and he could see the desperation in her eyes.
She appealed to him in some innocent, twisted way. He wanted to help her, not just to get rid of her, but because that was what he wanted...it scared him, that someone could make him vulnerable.
"Ginny, just tell me. It's not like I can do anything about it, anyway."
Ginny looked away from him. They sat in silence for a long time. She finally spoke, "Voldemort put a piece of his soul inside me, in case he died during this life. It will be passed along through my children until it overwhelms a weak soul. Voldemort will be reborn through my blood."
Draco did not draw back. The pain in her eyes was stark. He wished, for a moment, he could be as open with his emotions as she, but the walls had been built too high and too thick for him to cross them now.
"Ginny, it'll be alright." His eyes were soft for the first time. Her desperation rose within her and she fought it fiercely.
"Will it?" she whispered.
His jaw twitched. This was Ginny Weasley. This was…a vulnerable, heartbroken girl. Giving into how he felt, he wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head beneath his chin.
"We'll find a way," he murmured.
Ginny pulled back with a jerk. "Draco! What the hell do you think you're doing? You're a bloody Death Eater, and I work for the Order!"
Draco turned away, his eyes bleak. "My best friend was killed by the Dark Lord yesterday."
Ginny turned white. "Draco - are you all right?"
He spun to glare at her. "What do you think, Ginny? The man I grew up with was killed because the Dark Lord thought that he was a traitor! Blaise Zabini was my best friend, but in seventh year when I didn't want the Dark Mark, he threatened to kill me. He would have, with tears in his eyes and love in his heart, if I hadn't gotten this." Draco pulled up the sleeve of his robe to reveal the brand. Ginny recoiled, and his voice grew gentle. "He was the most loyal Death Eater I knew, but they killed him. I still don't know whether there was another reason for his death."
Ginny didn't know what to say. She reached out and grabbed his wrist. "I'm sorry, Draco. I forgot there were real people on both sides of this war."
Draco's voice was husky. "I'm not sure I'm on the right side anymore, Ginny."
Ginny merely watched him with wary eyes. Draco continued painfully, "I don't know if I'm safe anymore in my position. I -" He couldn't say how he felt.
Ginny squeezed his wrist reassuringly. "Hush. We'll find a way, Draco. We will." Draco sighed in relief and buried his face in the top of her head. Suddenly, he grew aware of their surroundings.
"Ginny, Diagon Alley is not a good place for a Malfoy and a Weasley to openly converse. We need to go somewhere safe." He began to lead her down the cobblestone streets, but she stopped him for a minute.
"I refuse to let myself feel for a Death Eater, Draco. Are you sure that this is what you want? There's no turning back, ever."
Draco searched her face. "I'm never going to be safe with the Dark Lord, even if we did win the War. The Order has my best interests, now. I have no interest in killing like most Death Eaters, and I'm not a hero. All I want is to be safe."
Ginny nodded, and the pair made their way into a side street, getting lost in the shadows.
That had been the first day of their relationship. In a year, they had never told each other how they felt. Before he left her, Draco had wanted, so badly, to tell her, but his pride had stopped him. He didn't feel worthy enough to be taking her love, and he didn't want to give her hope when there was a distinct chance he wouldn't come back from the hunt for the last Horcrux.
He didn't want to find out how she felt today. There was too much at stake. If she didn't love him, or if
she hated him for not coming back to her, he would break. Draco hated being vulnerable for anyone and she had more
power over him than she could ever know.
---
Suddenly, she heard a voice call out to her from somewhere in the shadows. "Ginny?" She ignored it. It was only another stage of her insanity. Yesterday, she thought she heard the cries of her son, a child that never existed. Then, she heard it again. "Ginny?" Sighing in exasperation, she turned knowing no one would be there.
She couldn't face what she saw. She turned back to the wall, shoulders shaking. Emotions numbed for so long sprung back in full force.
"Ginny, look at me…please." Still shaking, she turned to look at a man standing on the other side of bars.
"I - My father is dead. I am a free man now. I came back for you. I have to say it was a surprise to find you here. I never thought the magical world would turn against the girl who Harry Potter loved."
She found her voice, harsh from disuse. "He didn't love me, not enough to protect me. But, I think I fell in love with him, knowing that I promised you I would wait. I betrayed you, Draco. I made so many mistakes. You…deserve someone strong, someone like you."
The man, handsome as ever, grinned at her. She gaped in shock. When he was younger, Draco never grinned. He smiled once in a while, for a few seconds. This was different. She supposed everything was different.
"I deserve someone I love. And I love you, Ginny. I couldn't tell you that before I left, but I always have. I'm telling you now."
She looked away from his beautiful eyes. They were steely velvet now, the way they always were when he was being sensitive. "We can't go back to what we had anymore, Draco, no matter how much I want to."
"We don't have to. You're getting out of here."
She refused to let herself feel the hope shining in his eyes. "I'm stuck here because of the will of the Boy Who Lived and the rest of the magical population."
Draco said gently, "Do you think anyone in the Ministry still remembers you? You are in a Muggle asylum. They wanted you as far away as possible from the magical world. Now, they pretend you never existed. No one who knew you dares to even mention your name. Except your family, and perhaps a few others, most would like to forget that they ever heard of the girl, Ginny Weasley. And Potter? When was the last time he came to see you? Five years ago? Savior-boy is probably too busy at some book signing or getting ready for his next speech at a charity ball. Unless you go up to him and slap him in the face, he isn't coming after you."
She looked at him sadly. "I have Voldemort inside of me, Draco. He almost killed you. The world is safe while I'm in here."
"Have you allowed them to convince you of that? Do you really believe the people who betrayed you are telling you the truth? I can't believe that. You know you are strong enough to resist him. You know that you are not dangerous. Even if you don't, I do. Trust me, Ginny."
She looked away, and her voice broke. "Draco, you could have anyone you want. You could have someone strong and beautiful. You deserve someone like that. Not me. Thank you - for going to the trouble of coming here, but you shouldn't have to stay with me. Not now."
He looked at her fiercely. "I want you. I believe you still want me. We can live our lives together. How can you turn away from that? Ginny, we all make mistakes. Look at me. Look at the mistakes I've made in my life. I've made bigger mistakes than anyone I know, but I got past them. I know you can too. I forgive you because I know you will never make them again. That is our past. But this," he said, gesturing at the window behind him, "this is our future."
"A future without magic, Draco, I can't do that to you. magic is a beautiful thing."
"It's not as beautiful as our love and not as beautiful as how I feel when I'm with you. It pales in comparison to your smile or your eyes."
She smiled in disbelief and shook her head slightly. The bars slid open and she walked through. She knew he deserved better. She knew and tried to convince him, even though her every instinct was telling her to never let him go.
"I - I love you, Draco Malfoy."
Mistakes were made to be learned from; she would never let him go again.
He smiled at her and gathered her up in his arms. "I love you too."
She shut her eyes, feeling his arms wrapped tight around her and his breath in her ear. It was no longer in the dreams that haunted her. They walked outside into the rain hand in hand. Suddenly, she began laughing.
They had made it…everything was right again. For the first time in a long time, she was looking to the future, rather than remaining in the past. She liked the feeling.