"My Last Breath"
by S'Eleene Paris <seleene_paris@yahoo.com>
rated: PG (but may go up to PG-13 later.)
Pairing: Harry Potter/Hermione Granger
spoilers: books 1-6
synopsis:
In response to the challenge on
Portkey and inspired by the song "My Last
Breath" by Evanescence, a near death experience
Puts certain things into perspective. This is
A one shot fluff…I'm good at that…so why change
Now???
Disclaimer:
J.K. Rowling owns all lefts, rights,
and eye lashes belonging to the Harry Potter
series. I don't , but it is fun to mess around
with the characters isn't it? I also don't own
the song "My Last Breath" or Evanescence. If
I did, I hardly doubt I would be writing on the
Net.
Author's Notes:
For those of you still waiting for the sequel to
Harry Potter and the Girl Who Lived (Harry
Potter and the Onyx Spellbook.) I just wanted to
Give you some FYI. I have recruited some help to
Get the story flowing faster because I have
So much going on right now with my computer being
A pain and I am having to other peps to post even
This tiny bit. He's debuting, so be nice. He's
Also a very big fan of the story, so I am inclined
To think it will be great.
"I'm strange, maybe even crazy, but there is never
a dull moment."-(The t-shirt I bought at Target that
I am wearing as I post this.)
*****
"Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms
Holding my last breath?
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you.
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight.
Closing your eyes
You pray your dreams will leave you here,
But still you wake and know the truth -
No one's there.
Say goodnight, don't be afraid
Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black.
(say goodnight) holding my last breath
(don't be afraid) safe inside myself
(holding me) are my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and life,
It ends here tonight."
"My Last Breath" By Evanescence
*****
Part One
Thunder crashed and the lightning slashed the green tinted ebony sky in two.
Rain pounded on the backs of four individuals as the wind whipped it across
the country side. It was three against one and the three were having
the same amount to trouble conquering as the one.
A black haired boy, no man, with green almond shaped eyes dodged
yet another curse gracefully as one could. Harry sent his own spell
toward his enemy after he heard his friend moan as the spell meant for him
grazed his abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. Harry's head whipped
around to check on his best friend and immediately Hermione was at
Ron's side checking on his wounds. Ronald Weasley waved his
hand at his friend to tell him he was going to be okay.
When Harry's attention went back to the task at hand, he barley had enough
time to dodge the next spell heading toward them. "Stand still boy and
accept your fate!" Voldermort declared as the spell missed him and he grew
irritated.
"I don't think so, Riddle. I think its your fate rather to die at my hands
instead." Harry sent a non-verbal spell in the Dark Lord's direction.
"There are some things after all that are much worse than death."
"Such as finding out you was the cause of your friends' death." the evil
wizard smiled and a shiver went down Harry's spine. As a flash of lighting
struck near by, the wizard lifted his wand and flicked the Killing curse at the
where Hermione was taking care of Ron's wounds. From where Harry
stood he was certain she took the brunt of the hit.
"Hermione!" Harry's color drained as he literally had to stop himself from
running over there to check on her condition. "Ron's over there, he'll take
care of her for now. Right now you have to get rid of this guy once and
for all."
"Don't worry, Harry. She'll be with your mudblood mother soon." Voldermort
taunted.
"No!" Harry raged as he pointed his want at the wizard. The laughter from
Voldermort's face drained. Determination filled Harry's eyes as he quoted the
Dark wizard, but instead of the green light emitting from his wand the light
Whizzed from behind. Looking behind him at Ron and almost wanted to
laugh, the spell the evil wizard had cast had ricocheted off something after
killing Hermione. The dark Lord had been finally defeated by his own curse.
The spell had hit the target and with out another word, the man who was
once Tom Riddle fell limply on to the ground, dead. Since he only had
1/7 of his soul left after putting the rest of it in several miscellaneous items
and hid them around the world. It was only after Harry, Ron, and Hermione
had found them and destroyed them that they were able to take the man
down.
With out missing a beat, Harry raced over to were Hermione lay with her
Hair in the mud due to the rain. "Hermione." Harry breathed as tears
Formed in the corner of his eye. Harry gathered the witch's lifeless
Body in his arms. "No! This can't be! It's not fair!"
As Harry rocked back and forth with the body of his friend, the tears he
Was trying to hold back fell down his cheeks and on to the lips of his
Best female friend. "Harry. She's gone." Ron offered, trying to console
Him. "Do you think she would want you to be like this?"
"Go away and let me be!" Harry screamed hysterically as he
continued to rock back and forth with her body.
"Harry, we have to take her body back to the castle so they can
inform her parents of what happened." Ron tried to think logically,
which would have normally fell into Hermione's responsibility, but
considering her recent death Ron felt to urge to try to fill the void
she had left for the both of them.
"You're right." Harry said, distantly as he stood up and carried her
body back to the apperation point. The duo misted off and reappeared
just outside the castle's grounds. Harry said nothing as he carried
Hermione's body up the castle steps and through the heavy wooden
Doors.
"Here, Harry. Let me help you carry her." Ron offered as he stepped
up the staircase before of the Great hall.
"No." Harry stated plainly as they made their way down the corridors
and arrived at the hospital wing. Ron opened the doors silently and
allowed Harry and the body to make their way through first.
At the sound of the doors swinging open, Madame Pomfrey looked up
from where she was administering a calming draft to a fifth year. Obviously,
the girl was stressing out from her O.W.L. examinations. The duo noticed
the limp body in Harry's arms and Madame Pomfrey rushed over to meet
them by the bed where Harry had laid her. "What happened?"
"She was killed by Voldermort." Harry was blunt, but Madame Pomfrey
had a different opinion. She waved her wand over the former Hogwarts
student as various currently enrolled students gasped at the use of the
dark lord's name. As the head of the medical wing waved her wand,
various physical statistics could be read in a blue mist.
With out another word, the nurse ran to her office, grabbing various
potions and administrating them. "What's going on?" Harry asked
the question that was plaguing both Harry and Ron. "What are you
doing to her?"
As the witch continued to administer the treatments for the young
woman's condition, she commented her personal thoughts
as to why the girl was in her current state. "I don't know why, but
for some reason this girl survived. I take it that he-who-must-not-
be-named used the killing curse on her. By this reason she should
be very well dead, but I am registering brain activity, a very slow
heartbeat, and some breathing. I am going to try to stabilize her then
send her to Saint Mungo's. The will have the better facilities to deal
with her condition there. Hopefully with some time they will be able
to revive her.
"But Madame Pomfrey, why isn't she dead?" Ron asked as he claimed
the empty chair next to the bed.
The witch looked up briefly and gave them her honest medical opinion.
"I don't know, but the only other person who was able to survive the
Killing curse is sitting right there." She pointed at Harry with a gesture
Of her head. "Now, if you will excuse me there is a lot to be done
Before I can send her to Saint Mungo's. While I am doing this, why
Don't you go and inform Professor McGonagall of her condition."
With that, the duo were ushered out of the door by a very put out
Medically trained witch.
*****
Part Two
In Hermione's world, everything went completely dark then went white
The only thing that wasn't was a red headed form walking toward her.
She wore a white wizard robes and she said nothing to her as Hermione
Walked closer. Hermione felt like she knew her, or at least her almond
Shaped green eyes. It was at that moment, Hermione realized who this
Woman actually was. "Lily Potter?"
Lily smiled at the girl and continued to say nothing to the young woman
As she tucked a few strands of her long fire red hair behind her ear. At
This, Hermione began to grow irritated at the lack of response.
"Am I dead?" Hermione asked, hoping for some verbal communication
with her best friend's mother.
The older woman only shook her head. Hermione was beginning to wonder
If the spirit could talk at all. When the spirit finally did, Hermione was greeted
By an almost musical tone. "You're mind is between states and its not
Allowing your spirit to leave until it gets the answers you still seek. I was sent
To guide you to those answers your mind is trying to figure out."
"You were sent. So there is a God." Hermione asked and Lily only nodded her
response. "How did I get here?"
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"Harry, Ron and I finding the last of the horcruxes. The rest of it is kind of
jumbled up or blank." Hermione nervously picked at the skin around her
nails.
Lily nodded and waved her hand to show her of what happened. The mists
on the ground parted and the previous occurrences played before their
eyes. "By all means you should be dead, but with the combination of your
unfinished business and the protection I placed over my son allowed you to
choose if you want to go back or not."
Hermione looked at Lily as if she were crazy and had grown a second head.
"Of course I want to go back. Has being dead made you insane as well?"
"If you do go back you are in for a really rough life." Lily informed her. "After
your body awakes from your coma you physically won't be able to be the
same as you were before let alone emotionally. Although I really can say
from personal testimony of you'd be crazy and not to come with me to the
afterlife."
"What kind of problems are we talking about?"
"You'll find out if you return, but for now, let me show you this." Lily waved
her hand again and the mist closed and parted once more to be able to
see the scene below.
"What's going on?" Hermione asked as she took interest in the scene below.
"When did this happen?"
"Actually this is what is going on now." Lily admitted pointing to the scene
below. Hermione was horror stricken at the sight of her best male friend.
It had looked the boy had not slept, eaten, or groomed in several days.
"Harry." Hermione breathed as she noted the dark circles under his eyes.
"How long have I been out?"
"About a couple of months." Lily responded sadly. "Your body is in Saint
Mungo's currently. Madame Pomfrey knew she didn't have the facilities
To try to revive you at Hogwarts. If it hadn't been for Molly and the rest of
The Weasleys, he probably wouldn't have done anything other than sit
There and waste away."
Hermione sighed. "He would do that to himself wouldn't he?"
"Not just for anyone, though." Lily offered. "You are really special to him."
"Of course I am special to him. I'm one of his best friends."
Lily almost wanted to laugh at the young woman's ignorance. "I don't
Think he sees you just as a friend my dear. If he's got anything of me
Inside of him he wouldn't, anyway."
"You mean he…"
The older woman smiled and nodded. "Perhaps."
Hermione blushed. "Since when?"
"Sometime around third year is when the signs started showing
themselves. Sirius mentioned something about it when he came
and James made a bet on it. Its nice to know that everything is
the same old, same old with them."
Hermione giggled. "That sounds like something Sirius would do."
The young woman then turned silent for a moment as if she was
Trying to decide something.
Lily watched the girl and knew what she was thinking. "You want
To go back?"
Hermione only nodded. "Even if it means I won't be the same."
Lily smiled. "That is what I thought you would say."
"So how do I get back?"
"Leave all that to me." Lily answered as she stuck out
her hand. Gradually, the room grew darker and Hermione
closed her eyes knowing the next thing she would see
when she opened them would be Harry's eyes.
*****
Part Three
The alarm clock buzzed and Harry James Potter unenthusiastically
Slapped the clock to shut it off. He sat there on the edge of his
Bed in the dark his hands folded and his eyes closed. Praying had
Become a morning ritual as much had brushing his teeth. He had
Only asked for one thing for the past two months and that was for
Hermione to come back to him.
The street light filtered through the window as Harry stood up and
Went to his bathroom in his apartment to shower for his sift at
Hermione's bedside. He had been ordered away from her in
The first place from Molly who had informed him under no uncertain
Terms he needed to at least sleep.
Once in the bathroom, Harry noticed the dark circles under his eyes
And the bags that once hung there had begun to disappear, but even
With the sleep he was finally had been getting had done nothing for
His appetite. Hermione's medi witch had ordered him to eat something
And to leave Hermione's bedside to do so.
Harry's gaze went to his shower and decided he needed to at least
Shower. (Shaving at this point had become an option.) Once he had
Stripped and turned on the shower, he stepped into his shower and
Allowed the hot droplets of water to halfheartedly to sprinkle down
Upon him. He leaned his head against the wall with the shower
Spout and then he hit the wall with his fist. Harry ignored the pain
In his wand hand as he washed then toweled off. As He stepped
Out of the bathroom, Harry heard the door to his apartment he
Shared with Ron and Hermione and knew someone had returned.
Quickly Harry went to his bedroom and changed. He heard a knock
On his door. "I'll be out in a minute."
After he finished dressing, he went to his door and opened it. Ron's
Tall gangly form was behind the door. "Hey." Ron greeted. "How
Are you doing?"
Harry just shrugged, "I'm alright I suppose."
"You going to the hospital tonight then?"
Harry nodded.
"Look mate, I know Hermione wouldn't want you to stop living your
life now that she's gone…" Ron knew when he said this, he said
the wrong thing.
"SHE'S NOT DEAD, RON!" Harry shouted.
"I know, I know, but still she wouldn't want you to stop living your
life because hers stopped for a moment." Ron added quickly.
"Would you want her to stop living if you were like this?"
Harry was silent for a few moments before he responded.
"Probably not."
"So why don't you and me go out with Luna and Ginny. They
were wanting to go and visit that new muggle club down the
street."
Harry contemplated it for a moment. "Not to night. Maybe
Tomorrow. There are a few things I want to talk to her
Medi witch about first."
"Like pulling her feeding tube?" Ron sighed. The medi
witch had suggested some muggle remedies for her
lack of nutritional intake. Like most wizards, Ron thought
the idea of force feeding someone through a tube was
almost laughable.
"No. I couldn't do that." Harry sighed. "There are some other
things I read about that I thought we could try."
Ron sighed. "Harry, look. I've already discussed some of
What you told me last night with her. Madame Farr said there
Is nothing she really can do and we would have to wait. See
If she comes around naturally."
Harry sighed. This news was definitely not something he
Wanted to hear. "You guys go ahead and go without me.
I need to be with her. I don't want her to be alone one way
Or another."
"Alright." Ron agreed then he looked at his watch for the
time. "I'd better go and get changed. You want me to pick
something up for you to eat later?"
"I'll get something on the way."
"You sure?"
"Positive." Harry said as he watched his best friend walk
out of the room. As soon as Ron left, Harry grabbed his
coat and his wand. He went to the fireplace and took some
floo powder and flooed to the hospital.
When he made it safely to the hospital, he made his way
Up to the spell damage floor where he checked in with the
Witch on duty. "Back again, Mister Potter?" she asked.
"Hello to you too, Becca. How is your family?"
"Fine. My aunt Melissa and uncle Paul finally tied the knot.
It was really a beautiful ceremony."
"I'm sure it was. How are your grandparents doing?"
"Better." Becca stood up and guided Harry down the
hallway to Hermione's room. "You know the routine."
Harry nodded and entered the room and noticed Tonks
Reclined on the seat next to Hermione's bed and Lupin
In the chair across from her. He stood quietly and noticed
The two of them didn't notice his entrance let alone full
Knowing their hands was interlocked. They said nothing
To one another and they just stared into each other's eyes.
Harry cleared his throat and the two broke apart. "Hiya,
Harry."
"Wotcher Harry." Tonks smiled.
"Sleep well?" Lupin asked.
"Not really." Harry ran a hand through his already messy
black hair. "Why don't you guys take a break. I wanted to
talk to her."
"Okay Harry. " Tonks stood up and Lupin joined her on the
outside of the room.
Harry claimed the chair Tonks now vacated and took her
Hand in his. Hermione moaned and Harry sighed. She
Moaned a couple of times before. Nothing exciting like
It had been for the first few times. Harry smiled down at
Her. "Hey. I'm back."
She said nothing, obviously, but moaned again. Harry
Continued. "I do hope you wake up soon. I really need
You around. The doctor says the more you stay under
The more its more likely you'll never wake up. So I need
You to wake up, okay?"
As Harry leaned down to kiss her, Hermione's eyes opened
Slightly. "Harry?" she called.
"Hermione! You're awake." Harry pulled away. "Stay awake,
okay?"
Harry ran out the door to the nurse's station and collected the
Medi witch and doctor. The trio ran back to the room and Harry
Was glad to find Hermione still awake. The doctor and the medi
Witch shooed Harry outside the room while they ran several series
Of test of the young witch. By the time the doctor and nurse
Returned from the room, Harry had flooed the Weasleys, Lupin,
Tonks, and the rest of the Order back to the hospital.
"She's going to be okay." They announced to the group and everyone
who had collected outside the room went inside to see her. Harry hung
outside of the room to discuss her condition in full detail.
"So she's going to be fine?"
"Well, not exactly. She's going to have a few problems but it's rather
expected considering what spell she just survived." The doctor
explained.
"What kind of problems?" Harry asked as the nurse walked away.
"She isn't going to die is she?"
"Well, no, not for another 50 years unless she does something like
what she did to put her in here the first place again. What ever
spell had protecting her from that spell took a lot of magic out of
her. She may or may not be able to perform magic ever again."
Harry stood there, head bowed. "Well, considering the options, I
Think she would rather live. How long until we will know for sure?"
"I'd say give it a few months, but for now just take things one day
at a time." The doctor patted Harry on the shoulder. "Good luck."
Harry turned around and went into Hermione's hospital room. She
Was now sitting up in her bed and talking to the group. Once
Hermione caught sight of him she smiled at him. "Hi."
"Hi." Harry answered back.
Ron didn't miss a beat and motioned for everyone to leave. "Hey,
I have to get going. Work and all tomorrow. We'll be playing against the
Irish team. You coming Ginny? Luna?"
"Yeah. Come on Ginny." Luna grabbed her arm and the rest of the
group soon followed. "Good night, Harry."
"Night." Harry said over his shoulder. Once everyone in the
room left, the two of them fell silent. Harry sat down on the
chair next to her bed and retook one of her hands. "How are
you feeling?"
"Tired" Hermione almost laughed. "How are you?"
"I'm pretty exhausted too." Harry offered. "Why don't I let
you sleep and we can discuss things in the morning."
"Sounds good." Hermione smiled as she closed her eyes, but
while she snuggled with her pillow. Harry smiled at her, but before
he could cut off the lights, Hermione said. "I love you, Harry."
Harry almost wanted to laugh. "I love you too, 'Mione." He whispered
Back as he shut of the light as he exited the room.
*****
End for now. I couldn't decide where I wanted to end this, so I thought
This would be a great place to.