In my twenty-five years of existence, I have experienced many strange things, all of them leaving a lasting mark in my life. But there is one thing that has happened in my life that, unlike the rest I shall never be able to forget. A scar so deep etched in my heart that the agony will never subside.
People are often curious when I tell them such a thing. They wonder what could leave such a terrible lasting in my life, after all the things I have seen. Only two words come to mind, the only two words I can say.
Harry Potter.
It is usually after I say this they become more confused. They want to know how the "boy-who-lived"..."the man-who-saved-the-world," could leave such painful imprint on my soul.
To me, Harry was not just a man who saved a world, he was much more then that. He was the love of my life.
Our tale of love began in the beginning of 7th year, when Harry finally was able to talk about Sirius's death. We spent many hours together while he told me about all the pain he had absorbed over the years of living with his aunt and uncle, and the pains of never knowing his parents, and of coarse Voldemort. I always knew Harry hurt inside, but I just didn't know how much. I am glad to say that I am the person he was able to confide in.
Before I knew it I began to enjoy our nightly discussions, though part of me felt guilty for enjoying something that nearly broke Harry on the inside. Soon our conversations moved from the topic of Harry's aching heart, to other daily subjects. The first night our conversations reached dawn was the night I realized I had feelings for my best friend.
I began spending less time studying, and more time with Harry. My marks dropped while my time with Harry increased. But I didn't care, for the first time in my life something was more important to me than my studies.
As the snow fell the feelings between Harry and I blossomed. Harry had never told me how he felt but deep in my heart I knew he felt the same way, by the way he now looked at me. The looks friendship faded into the looks of deep caring.
When the Christmas holiday approached I wanted nothing more but to stay with Harry over the holiday, but I couldn't this year. I had promised my parents a nice quiet holiday at home, after leaving them early last year. Before I left I gave Harry his Christmas present, a set of new Quidditch books that he loved. He also gave me a gift in return, a beautiful gold ring with the Gryffindor Crest etched onto the scarlet jewel. The inscription in italic lettering read:
'My Hermione'
While I was home for Christmas I spent most of my time sitting in my window staring into oblivion wondering if I was really "Harry's Hermione". Those thoughts invaded my mind every minute of every day. I did want to be Harry's Hermione.
I couldn't help but returning to school early again to see Harry. Again using the excuse on my parents that I wished to get extra studying in before the other students returned. So on the early morning of New Years Eve I drove into London with my parents, and caught the Knight Bus. The journey was long, and it made me feel ill. But finally arrived after sunset in Hogsmead and dragged my trunk through the thick snow and wispy cold air that blew across my face. By the time I reached the dark lonely grounds of Hogwarts I couldn't feel an inch of my body. But when I saw the glow from the Gryffindor Common room my heart swelled with warmth, knowing that within the glow was Harry...My Harry.
I urged myself through the high snow, and through the big wooden doors. The castle appeared to be empty; nobody was in sight except for the occasional teacher passing by. When I finally reached the common room I push the portrait open and I was greeted by the sweet sweet smile of Harry Potter wearing non-other than the Weasley jumper that he had obviously received from kind old Mrs. Weasley. Harry rushed to me from his cozy armchair, by the warm fire, which painted the room a cozy orange, to help carry my bags inside. He helped remove my jacket and draped it over the couch by the fire. I shook the snowflakes out of my curly hair, and gave Harry a welcoming hug.
So while we waited for midnight to arrive to bring the New Year, Harry and I talked about what we received for Christmas. He had also told me that he filled his time over the past week and half helping some of the teachers decorate the castle before they returned home for the holidays. He also spent much time bewitching the chessboard to play against him, but he said it always beat him. It was true Harry was a terrible Wizards Chess player, especially compared to Ron.
When midnight was almost near Harry and I stood in front of a large window sipping our hot chocolate watching the snow heavily fall on the castle grounds, illuminated by the heavenly moonlight that fell upon the grounds. The soft snow remained untouched, but for my own snow tracks in the sea of white enhancing the beauty around us. Inside the orange flames painted the room in a cozy warmth that I couldn't help but be drawn too. It was a universe in which only Harry and I existed. The beeping of Harry's watch signalled the New Year had finally arrived. Instead of confetti, and screams of joy by the Weasley's that normally filled the room after the New Year. This year I looked deep into Harry's beautiful green eyes, and he into my brown eyes. That is when our lips met for the first time. His hot chocolate free hand lingered on my forearm, and finally his fingers linked with mine. And that was the moment I knew this was exactly where I supposed to be.
I awoke early the next morning with the excitement of the previous night lingering on my lips. I showered and dressed quickly and found Harry sitting in the chair by the fireplace waiting for me. He got up from his seat and took me by the hand and led me to the table where he had prepared orange juice and muffins for us for breakfast. We ate our breakfast in silence but enjoying each others company immensely. The silence made it even better.
After our breakfast Harry and I went outside in the deep snow and built the tallest snowman I had ever seen. I had to sit on Harry's shoulders to add the face. When we were done we both decided that the snowman did look a lot like a troll, so we named him Marcus Flint. We briefly went inside for tea to warm up. We now noticed that more of the students were returning from the Christmas holiday. Ron and Ginny Weasley were due back the following night. We knew we would have to tell Ron about our newfound feelings, and he would be over whelmed with jealousy. But for the moment we didn't want to think about it. It had begun snowing again while we drank our tea. So we joined the frosty air outside again and made snow angels. Being with Harry outside in the snow made me feel wonderful inside. Night fell again and Harry and I spent the night looking through the Quidditch books I bought him. That night was a lot different than the previous one, for a few first years had returned and we did not have the common room to ourselves.
The next day brought rain that turned the snow to a mucky slush and by the end of the day Marcus Flint had melted into the soupy grounds. Ron returned after sun down, and as we had expected was full of jealousy, and tried his hardest to avoid us. Ginny on the other hand was thrilled for us, and gave each of us a hug.
Classes continued two days later and I found myself receiving low grades. I will admit this did bother me a little, but I enjoyed the company of Harry over studying in my room alone.
Harry and I spent every possible waking moment together. We ate our meals together, sat next to each other in all of our classes, and even cuddled on the couch when the room wasn't too crowded. Sadly, the both of us drifted away from Ron, as he grew closer to Dean, Seamus, and Neville.
Valentine's Day approached quickly, and due to bad weather the two Hogsmead trips had been canceled so Harry and I couldn't buy each other gifts. But it was alright because it was that night that Harry gave me second greatest gift all time. Together we stood in front of the window that we shared our first kiss, Harry stood behind me with one arm wrapped around my stomach, while the other remained firmly in his pocket. It was then he whispered those words that made me soar.
"I love you, Hermione Granger."
Even with the room full of other students I kissed him passionately and let him know of my love for him back.
As the life grew back into the earth again, our love for each other continue to blossom beautifully. By the time graduation came Harry had been excepted into the Auror training program in Northern Ireland, and I myself had been asked by the American Minister of Magic to come to America to try to promote S.P.E.W.
When school was finally over Harry bought a flat in the heart of London, while I continued to live with my parents until I was to move to America.
I was sad knowing that soon Harry and I would be so far apart. Since the end of the war restrictions on apparition had come into affect, to travel out of the U.K. you had to have your apparition license for over two years, and the Floo Network was still damaged from the war, as well as portkey's.
The night before I was to leave for America, Harry and I took a walk in the park outside London. I began crying during our walk, like I had many times over the summer out of the fear we would not survive the long distance. Harry sat me down on a bench, and promised me that we would still be together when I returned. I asked him how did he know for sure. He then pulled me up by the hand and took me across the street, to a little flower cart on the corner. He bought a bouquet of assorted flowers from an elderly man, and pulled me back across the street to the little bench that we sat on. He unravelled a little yellow ribbon that held the flowers together, spilling the flowers onto the bench, and ground. He then took the ribbon and gently tied it around my finger, got down on one knee, and asked:
"Hermione, will you be my wife?"
I could hardly believe what was happening. I was in such shock I couldn't speak, the only thing I could do was nod yes. But that was enough for Harry, he stood up and hugged me and told me how much he loved me. We then went back to my parent's house, and made love for the first time.
I awoke the next morning feeling so high I truly believed I could fly. Then the heavy sadness pulled me back down to reality when I remembered that I had to leave my Harry that day. I still remained tangled in Harry's arms, and I could remember wanting nothing more than to stay in that beautiful moment forever. But I knew I couldn't, so the both of us got dressed and went down stairs where my mum had made us bacon and eggs.
The mood in the kitchen was stale. It was a sad day for everybody, my parents were surly going to miss me greatly, and I knew I would miss them too. But I would miss Harry a thousand times more.
When time came to leave for the airport Harry and I chose to drive to the airport, instead of apparating, my parents preferred it that way, and it gave me and excuse to spend more time with Harry.
Harry and I loaded my trunks into the backseat of my run down car I received as a present for graduating by my grandparents. I had decided to give Crookshanks to Harry while I was away; I thought he would be more comfortable there.
The drive went by too quickly for the both of us. When time came to say goodbye, I turned to Harry and tears filled my eyes. He held me tightly, and told me he loved me greatly and that we would see each other soon. He gave me a final kiss before I boarded the plane.
On the plane I sat next to a kind elderly woman who slept the whole way to New York. I just stared out the window and counted how many clouds I was away from my beloved Harry. When we landed in New York in was raining. I collected my belongings and grabbed a taxi outside and went to a local motel.
I unpacked my clothes and hung them nicely in the closet, and waited for the rain to stop before I reported the American ministry.
The rain didn't stop that night, and I was woken up by Harry calling me at 6:30 in the morning. I remember being so happy to hear from him. We talked for close to an hour, but then he had to go and meet Ron in Diagon Alley for lunch.
The rain had stopped and it was beautiful sunny day. I showered and dressed, and walked to the ministry to meet the Minister. I chose to walk so I could site see along the way. I met the minister for a quick lunch in Glamsbury Hall, a nice wizarding cafe. I pitched him many of my ideas on how promote S.P.E.W and he loved them all.
A few days later I moved into a room, with a lovely girl my age named Joanna Gray, who was from Germany and was also asked to come so she could help me promote S.P.E.W. Our first task for the first six weeks were to convince companies all over America that we were a project worth sponsoring. At first most of them turned us away, but eventually they came around.
The minister was so impressed mine and Joanna?s work that was he wanted our project to become a department in the American Ministry. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Because having my own department was something I had dreamed of since I was 13, but on the other hand if I accepted the position it would mean I would be permanently separated from Harry.
With time Joanna and I received more sponsors and soon had more then we could ever need. The news came to Joanna and I that our project was to be turned into a new department in the beginning of the New Year. When I received the news Joanna was thrilled, but I was disappointed. The following week I turned in my resignation, to the minister who was highly disappointed in me for my leaving. But again I didn't care. I loved Harry a lot more than any stupid S.P.E.W department.
I never told Harry of my return and just showed up on his doorstep late one night. He was in the shower when I got to his apartment. So I surprised him by joining him in the shower. We made love all weekend, and after three days of being back in England I finally told my parents of my return. They were glad that I had returned home, they never understood about S.P.E.W. Though they were very angry with me when I chose to move in with Harry instead of returning back home.
Living with Harry wasn't as easy as I had expected it would be. We fought a lot at first but we always made up, most of the time we made up twice. We began planning the wedding shortly after Christmas, and Harry bought me a real ring. The ring was beautiful but it didn't have the same meeting as the yellow ribbon.
I got a letter from Joanna in the second week of February telling me that the new department was a large success, and they were getting a lot done. She wanted me to talk to Cornelius Fudge and see about adding the new department to the British ministry. I wrote back telling her that Fudge would need a lot more to convince him other then witch fresh out of school.
As spring approached Harry and I began preparing for our wedding. Mrs. Weasley insisted that we hold the wedding at the Burrow, how could we refuse. Ron, who was Harry's best man was still showing signs of jealousy, everybody knew that he had been in love with me since second year. I finally picked out my dress over the Easter holiday, with Ginny helping me. I even had the dressmaker lace the dress with yellow ribbon, and beautiful cream-colored pearls.
Our wedding took place in the second week of August. Everybody we were friends with at school was there, and even a few friends I made while I was in America. I sad because I could not invite many of the family friends, because they did not know I was a witch. But I was happy I could invite my favorite cousin, Jessica Granger, who found out she was a witch two summers ago. The Weasley house looked extremely beautiful. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had put a lot of hard work into the wedding, and I could never repay them.
It was 3:00 when the wedding took place. Harry looked so hansom in his tuxedo, he even has a yellow ribbon pinned to his jacket. We were married by non-other then Dumbledore himself.
The part I remember most during our wedding was Harry's beautiful green eyes, they so full of love and want. And I wanted to be his.
The reception was gorgeous; Mrs. Weasley had slaved all day in the kitchen preparing the most beautiful wedding cake, with a bride and groom sitting on top who refused to stop kissing.
Dancing with Harry was like heaven. He was such a smooth dancer, and he never took lessons, or so he told me. I am not sure whether to have believed him or not because he was a terrible dancer at the Yule ball in 4th year.
I talked with many of my friends from Hogwarts who I hadn't seen in over a year. I introduced Joanna to all of my friends, she was very happy to meet Neville Longbottom, and spent most of the night with him. I think all night to be exact. Ron lingered in the corner most of the night, he tried to be happy for Harry and I but his true feelings were obvious. After hours of asking, Ginny finally got Ron to dance with me. The whole night was like a dream. I never thought I would feel this way about anybody in my life, especially Harry Potter my best friend. I felt so loved it was wonderful.
The night ended the night by throwing the bouquet of flowers, which Joanna happened to catch. Harry and I used a special portkey arranged by Dumbledore to go to Mexico for our Honeymoon.
Mexico was the most beautiful place I had ever been, and I was so happy I could enjoy it with Harry by my side. We spent most of our time lazing on the beach. But when we weren't on the beach we were in the beach house we rented making love. That week was the shortest week I ever experienced in my life. Before I knew it, Harry and I were back in England, where the weather had dropped drastically. Before Christmas, Harry moved into a small house outside of London. The house was a beautiful ashy colour, with a nice sized backyard.
At Christmas time we had our first party, and everybody loved our house. Harry returned to school again after the holiday, and was doing very well in his Auror training. I on the other hand had been accepted into department of Mysteries, and was receive two years of training before hand.
The summer came again, and Harry was as sweet as ever to me. On his 20th birthday I took him out to his favorite restaurant, and afterwards Ginny and Ron joined us in watching a Chudley Cannons game, which both Ron and Harry thoroughly enjoyed. That night was a night I will never forget, the love we made that night was the most passionate it had ever been. The way he touched me, the way he kissed me was just oh-so perfect.
On the day of our first anniversary, I awoke to roses by my bedside, with rose petals leading to the kitchen where Harry and prepared pancakes for me. Exchanging of gifts followed breakfast. Harry gave me a beautiful silver bracelet. I wanted to give Harry my gift then but I knew that I should save it until after the special dinner I planned on making him. We spent the entire day together in Diagon Alley, we shared three hot fudge sundaes and lots of time in Flourish and Blotts and the Quidditch Suply store. We returned home, and ended up in the bedroom. After hours of making love, it was time to make Harry his special anniversary. I made him spaghetti with his favourite tomato sauce. I set to candles in the middle of the table and we ate dinner together by candle light. It was nice, and Harry's eyes looked beautiful in the candle light. Harry's eyes in the candle light were the last thing I saw before everything went dark...
I awoke to the sounds of voices, and Ron hovering over me with his eyes stricken with pain. I was lying on the floor next to the table where I was eating dinner moments ago. I looked passed Ron and could see Harry lying on the couch I got up. I was slightly dizzy but I steadied myself and I kneeled at Harry's side. He did not turn to look at me. I nudged him. I could feel everybody's eyes on me. Then Ron called after me. Harry didn't move. His skin felt cold. Ron called after me again. I turned to Ron, I asked him what happened, and why Harry wasn't moving.
"Harry's dead."
"No, he can't be!!!" I screamed, as I continued to shake Harry violently.
Ron came forward and pulled me up away from Harry. I struggled to get away from his grip but it was no use. The room was filled with members from the order, and a few other wizards I had never seen before, all of the looked as if they were hurting. I continued to scream and fight against Ron.
"Hermione!" yelled Ron over my wailing voice, "He's dead! Harry's gone."
At Ron's words my body went limp, and would have fallen to the floor if Ron had not had a hold of me.
As my body went limp the stinging pain of Harry's death hit me all over. Never in my life have felt such pain. It hurt beyond words, for the first time in my life I wanted to die!
"NO HARRY!!!" I cried
I began reaching for Harry and crying out for him. I became frantic, and I wouldn't stop. My screams for Harry became louder and again I fought against Ron with all my might.
"HARRY!" I screamed, "HARRY!"
I screamed his name over and over just hoping that he would wake up, hoping that this all was a cruel joke. I was now crying hysterically, calling for Harry, and fighting against Ron. Still Harry didn't awake from his eternal slumber. And he never would.
"HARRY!!!" I screamed once again as my body began to grow limp, and slowly Ron lowered me onto the floor, and I lay there crumpled at Ron's feet crying frantically on the floor for My Harry.
I could hear Mrs. Weasley and Ginny crying in the back of the room. I opened my eyes and everything appeared blurry. I crawled on my hands and knees over to where Harry lay on the couch. I was shaking with pain, my face is soaked in my tears. I cupped my trembling hands around Harry's cold lifeless face, and I give him one final kiss. His lips are cold, and dry. Then I ask what happened.
Remus Lupin came forth and told me that while eating dinner, angry death eaters broke into the house. They tried to kill me with killing curse, but Harry repelled it, and that's why I fell unconscious. They then went after Harry. I learned that the two death eaters were Bellatrix Lestrange, and Lucius Malfoy. Bellatrix was killed immediately when Harry repelled the killing curse from me. Harry also killed Malfoy with the killing curse. Harry had been hit with one too many curses, and just simply died.
Harry's funeral was held a week later. Everyone gave me their sympathy, and had glanced at Harry lying in his casket. But now I wanted alone time with my husband. I leaned over him and I whispered something very special in his ear.
After Harry died I couldn't live in that house by myself. My parents offered to let me live with them, but I kindly refused and chose to move in with Ron. Harry was Ron's best friend, so he knew what I was going through.
It was a month after Harry died that I was able to go in the house to pack away Harry's stuff. Ron and Ginny agreed to help me. I cried many times that day, everything of Harry's brought back a rush of memories. That's all Harry was now memory. The flowers that Harry left me on the day of our anniversary were still in the vase where Harry had left them. Though dried out, I brought them home and hung them on my bedroom wall.
It was the following spring Harry gave me the greatest gift he ever could. On May 19th I gave birth to Harry's
daughter, Anna Lily Potter. I was planning on telling Harry the night of our anniversary that I was pregnant, but I
never got the chance.
When Anna was handed to me for the first time, I looked into her eyes and I saw Harry! I began crying out joy and sadness. It hurt knowing Anna will never know her father.
After I moved in with Ron I never told anybody I was pregnant. Ron figured it out for himself about a month after I moved in. He heard me being sick in the bathroom, and when I came out, I could tell that he knew. He looked like he was mad at me. But he just hugged me, and said that he was here for me. And he has been. He is a wonderful friend.
The evening I brought Anna home for the first time, I sat with her in bed. I had drifted off for a moment. When I awoke Anna was holding onto the locket around my neck with the yellow ribbon in it. Then the sweetest scent filled the room, the scent of Roses. The dried roses that hung on my wall bloomed again!!
It has been exactly five years today since Harry died and those roses are still in bloom. On the anniversary of our wedding and his death I sit on the bench where he asked me to be his wife, and remember the great love we had. But this year I decided to do something different, I decided to write it down. It makes Harry feel more real.
Even though Harry is not with me, he is not gone. I have never or ever will stop loving him, because he will always be the love of my life. His features shine through his daughter in everyway. He will never ever be forgotten.
Loving Harry was a beautiful thing, but being loved by him was even better. He gave me strength, bravery, and he gave me Anna. I know he somewhere out there looking down on the both of us, and loving us.
I have loved, and will always forever love Harry Potter...My Harry.
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