Disclaimer: Don't own it, so don't sue. Won't get much out of it anyway.
Sorry for the long time away people, but life sucks so I couldn't do anything about it. As for BoNM I'm hitting a brick wall with it, so I'm taking a few days away to write this three parter, just to cheer myself up from the happenings in HBP (I wanna cry!). Good thing we have fanfiction! Thanks to J Choo who betaed, and to Michelle (Madame of Sarcasm) who would have, had her mail read the file I sent.
Hope you enjoy, and remember to review.
Happily Ever After
By Pearl Drop Angel
Chapter 1: A conversation between so called friends
"So, Harry, when are you going to make an honest woman out of Ginny?" Harry Potter turned around, finding himself face to face with his old friend from school, Neville Longbottom, who worked some floors above him in the Research of Magical Flora Office.
Harry wasn't able to suppress a sigh. "She's been talking to you too then?"
"Yeah, she likes to visit me at the office to chat sometimes," Neville explained, unable to hide a slight blush. "She's really itching for it!"
"Yeah, I know," and with that he walked through his open office door, giving Neville a feeble excuse, and slamming the door strongly behind him. Sighing again, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, trying to calm his nerves.
"That bad, Harry?" A kind feminine voice asked from his desk. He opened his eyes to find his best friend of twelve years leaning against his desk, several scrolls in hand.
"Hey, Hermione," he saluted half heartedly, moving to his station and slumping behind the desk. He would generally give her a warmer welcome, especially since they had managed to meet very little over the last few weeks, but he was just so tired. He had to admit, though, it made him feel much better to have her near. Smiling at her he asked, "To what do I owe the honour?"
"I've got the results on those Muggle haters that attacked those three tube stations last week," she said, handing him the scrolls she was holding.
"Thanks, but you could have owled them," he told her, taking the files, "It's a pretty long way to come."
"Well, I also thought that you might like to talk to a friend that doesn't want to know why you're not proposing to his little sister," she explained, taking a seat across from his.
"He told you that?" Harry asked, looking deeply into her eyes. "He didn't say anything to me. I thought he might have been against it."
"Oh, Harry," she laughed kindly, "is that why you're holding back? Because you think he'd be against it?"
"No," he shook his head quickly, "but I did want to know what he thought of the whole situation."
She squared him for a while before answering. "You know perfectly well that he's been hoping for it. Ever since the end of fifth year he's had this picture in his head where he and I get married, so do you and Ginny, and we all become one big happy Weasley family."
Harry gave an empty heartless chuckle. "He might not be far off in the end."
"I don't think so," she said quietly, averting her eyes to look at the enchanted window behind him.
Harry didn't know if she was referring to him or herself.
"You know, Harry," she turned back to him, "I always thought you'd be a family man, once everything with Voldemort was over."
"How do you mean?" He asked confused.
Hermione shrugged, smiling ruefully. "It's just...well, you've always dreamed of a family, ever since I've known you, and I always pictured you to be the first to start a family in our class, because you wished for it so much. When you first started going out with Ginny in sixth year, it was like watching you step into what I'd pictured, you two were perfect," she laughed, "almost too much! I was, of course, incredibly jealous of what you had at the time, especially considering how Ron and I were, but you were so happy together it was almost too sweet for decency."
Harry laughed, just as confused as before. "What?"
"In short, Harry," she switched to extremely blunt comments, remembering how daft her boys could be, "you were so cute and sweet you used to give people, myself above all, toothaches. Oh, and my ears still hurt when I remember Lavender and Parvati's squeals."
"Yeah, I remember those."
"So what changed, Harry?" She asked seriously.
"Er--" Harry began uncertainly, "what?"
"What changed?" She repeated. "I know you broke it off at the funeral, because you thought it would make her too much a target, but there was promise that once Voldemort would be defeated, you'd go back to what it was before."
"Yeah, and we did," Harry replied, "first thing I did when I got up was kiss her, remember? You were there."
"Yes," Hermione answered without hesitation, "but it wasn't the same."
He looked at her for a long time. Finally, he leaned back, sighed, and began massaging the bridge of his nose again. He knew that if he told her he didn't wish to talk about it she wouldn't force him to, but maybe he did wish to talk about it. "I don't know, Hermione. It's hard to talk about it, but..." he chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to find the words. "Sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't care about me. Not like I think she should."
He'd expected her to say that he was being stupid, and paranoid, and that Ginny loved him, but she remained quiet, staring at him intently.
"Why do you think that?"
He shrugged, trying to make it look as though it didn't bother him. "I don't know. I mean, we have fun together, and she does like me, and she doesn't stare at my scar, but...I don't know, I just feel like she's making herself think she fancies me more than she actually does." He shook his head to clear it, before going on. "You remember how a couple of months ago we were attacked when I picked her up from work one night?"
"Of course," she told him quickly. She'd been so scared when she heard that he'd ended up in St Mungo's again, and he hadn't even been on assignment. Ginny had come out of it unharmed, and neither ever explained what happened.
"When those wizards raised their wands on her, she didn't move a finger. She just stood there, and watched me while I took care of them, and she stood in the middle, so I had to shield her with my body."
"But..." Hermione looked at him strangely, "she was in the DA and she has some great hexes up her sleeves! She knows how to defend herself perfectly."
"Exactly," he replied, "and a couple days later she started talking about marriage." He sighed again, rubbing a hand over his hair in frustration. "You want to know what I think?" She nodded, vigorously, even though she was working her bottom lip with her teeth in earnest, a sure sign that she was trying to come up with an answer to that herself. "It was a test," he said, holding his breath, and waiting for Hermione to tear apart this theory.
He heard her inhale, the way she did right before a long lecture, but it seemed to have died in her throat. She raised two fingers to her chin and began drumming on it while she kept worrying her lip, deep in thought. "What kind of test?"
"Forget it," Harry said, averting his eyes as he lost resolve, "you'd just think I'm crazy."
"Harry, look at me," her tone of voice would not accept refusal. He looked at her. "Have I ever thought you crazy?" He stared at her. "I never did. Reckless and overzealous at times, but I never doubted you."
He nodded feeling ashamed, his hands tugging nervously at his hair. "I think she was testing her hero," he told her, before elaborating. "You remember that until fifth she never even spoke to me, but she always fancied me. Because I was Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, I saved her life in second year, and I was Triwizard Champion, and all that."
"Yes, Harry, but she changed," Hermione objected.
"Did she?" Harry asked, looking lost. "I thought she did, too, but now that I think back on things, I don't know anymore. I don't know if she wants to marry me, or just Harry Potter, the Boy Who Slayed Voldemort. Her hero."
"How long has this been bothering you?"
He shrugged again. "Since she started talking about marriage after the attack, but...well, it wasn't like it was just starting to bother me. It was more like I just realized that it has. I don't know what to think anymore."
"Is there more to it?" She asked perceptibly.
He looked at her, nodding meekly. "You know how she's always fighting to show her independence?" Hermione nodded, knowing that Ginny was nearly as bad as she was. "Well, she's not like that with me. Remember how she used to get mad at Dean while they were going out because he used to help her through the portrait hole?" Again, Hermione nodded. "Well, now, she bites my head off if I don't! Says I'm not as chivalrous toward her as I should be, and I'm completely confused!"
He turned his chair around to look at the charmed window displaying annoyingly perfect weather. "And there is one thing I've been thinking about a lot."
"What?" Her tone of voice was tired now, as though she'd heard enough, but thought she should go to the bottom of it.
He turned back to her. "At Dumbledore's funeral I told her we had to break up because I had to do what I had to do alone, and she just accepted it. She stayed the whole time of the war either at Hogwarts or at the Burrow with Molly. I was glad of it, that's what I wanted, for her to not get involved."
"But?" His friend prompted.
"I keep remembering that when we went to the Department of Mysteries, she refused to stay behind, like you and Ron did. I mean, when we're just friends she stands by me, and then when we're more she stays behind waiting for my return, and it's been that way since, and lately, I've been thinking that it might mean something." He was speaking more to himself than he was to her, now, as though saying his worries aloud solidified them. "I keep thinking that if she had to go on a dangerous quest that might very well take her life, I'd stay by her, no matter what, even if I couldn't do anything to help. You don't even understand how much the fact that you and Ron stayed by me helped me when preparing for the War, and then, I know that you wouldn't have let Ron go either if it had been him in my place, and looking back, I feel like the point where we are now is exactly the one she was aiming for."
"And what's that?"
He sighed again. "You know what she said to me after I told her we had to stop at the funeral?" Hermione shook her head no. "She said: 'it's for some stupid noble thing, isn't it?' But the thing is, she said like she was expecting it, hoping for it, almost like she was happy it came."
"So why didn't you ask about it then, before things got to this point?" She was genuinely confused.
"You know what they say, hindsight always is 20/20. Back then I was so hooked, I didn't start thinking about it for years, and only now it seems clear," he told her, taking off his glasses to rub his face in both hands. "And I don't know what to do, or what to say to her." And for some reason, Harry wished that she would tell him to break it off with Ginny and that there were plenty of other women better for him in the world, and, for some damned reason, an image popped before his eyes of Hermione and himself in a much beyond platonic embrace, that, for some reason, roused the old creature within him that had been dormant for years. He'd thought he'd outgrown it a long time ago, but maybe he was just realizing that there was nothing of his current relationship that interested it in the least.
He shook his head fiercely. This was wrong, the creature shouldn't have been responding to Hermione of all people, and definitely not so strongly. It seemed like it was stretching languorously and purring loudly at her. And Harry wanted to slaughter it. This was wrong, and, in any case, she was with Ron. The beast roared angrily at him for that.
"Harry?" her voice seemed so distant. "Harry, did you hear a word I'd said?"
Blinking his eyes quickly to return the focus on her, he realized one thing as he looked at her. She was beautiful. In the most perfect of ways to him. And he found his breath lodged in his throat. He felt as though the beast had jumped out of his chest and slapped him tartly across the face, implanting a simple truth that he had completely ignored till now deeply into his mind. Hermione had been the one person that had stayed by him always, never asking for anything in return. She was the one he turned to whenever he had reason to, and often when he didn't. She was the one that lightened his dark days and kept his head on his shoulders, and excepted him for who he was, not what he was, and didn't resent him for it.
And he was in love with her.
But she belonged to Ron.
"Harry, are you alright?" She was standing up now, and moving toward him, and for the world of him, he felt as though he was seeing her for the first time, and he hated it. It was like all those times in school when the answer was right under their noses, and they realized it just a second too late. And it was too late.
"I'm fine," Harry spoke finally, his voice sounding distant, even to his own ears. "Just realized something obvious is all. What were you saying?"
Hermione seemed to want to debate what he'd said, but decided against it. "I was just saying that maybe you shouldn't rush any decisions. You're both my friends, and you've been together so long, and if you do something brash you might regret it."
"So what do you suggest?"
"Well," she began apprehensively, "I think you two should talk, but it might be better to do it away from here. I reckon you should get away for a while and go somewhere a little more relaxing, you see, and try and get reacquainted with each other. When people are together for a long time they start to forget why they were even together in the first place, you know? I think you both need to remember that."
"So," Harry began slowly, "you're saying we should take a vacation?"
Hermione nodded. "Yeah, it doesn't have to be a long one; even a couple of days would be fine. It's worked for Ron and I more than once."
"It has?"
She smiled half heartedly. "I could pass you some great venues, too."
He sighed again, rubbing his face. To be honest, the idea of spending a few days alone with Ginny now that he realized how he felt for Hermione didn't rouse him at all, but maybe that's exactly what he needed. Maybe what he was feeling for his best friend was just temporary insanity and he should get away for a while just to get himself a grip, and possible slaughter the creature that had suddenly come back to life. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Who knows? Maybe Ron really will get his big happy Weasley family."
Hermione's smile flickered, before disappearing altogether. "I don't think so."
"Why, is something wrong between you two?" He wanted to kick himself for letting that thread of hope pass through his voice, and he really did want to kill that beast for perking up inside him.
"Not wrong, no," she denied quickly, "it's just...oh! You'll think me stupid if I tell you!"
"Nonsense!" He responded heatedly. "I'd never think you stupid!" How could he?
When she blushed at his vehemence, the beast started doing the can-can. "Well, it's just, it's not that there's anything wrong, but it doesn't feel right either. I mean, Ron and I've been together for almost four years now, and we do care about each other, but we still bicker the way we used to when we were in school, even worse actually, and he still loses his head whenever a pretty woman walks by. Can you believe that whenever Fleur's over he still trips over himself for just a kiss on the cheek? Granted, I couldn't expect anything else from Ron, but still, that's not how I wanted it."
"Wanted what?"
She looked at him, as though wondering whether or not to tell him, and breathed in a deep sigh, bracing herself. "The Happily Ever After," she pushed out in a rush. "I know I'm supposed to be the rational one all the time, the one who's got her feet well grounded, but, if I can have magic in my life why can't I have that, you know?"
Harry found himself smiling. "Really?"
"Oh, I knew you'd laugh at me!" she exclaimed, hiding her face in her hands, thing that Harry found incredibly endearing. He really needed to stop thinking like that.
"No, I'm not laughing," he told her quickly, "I'm just surprised." He watched her take her hands down slowly, giving him a suspicious look. "Did you talk about this to Ron?"
"No, of course not, why would I?" She asked rhetorically. "It wouldn't matter because it would go right over his head, and, in any case, I wouldn't want him to change the way he is, and that's what he'd try to do if I did. And it's not like I'm expecting to marry Prince Charming or anything."
"So, what are you expecting?"
"Nothing!" Harry raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Okay, something, but it's not as impossible as it seems! When I say I want a Happily Ever After I don't mean that I want to be swept off into the sunset by my knight in shining armour! I just...you know, want him to remember my birthday and our anniversary and have a nice quiet but not boring life where we don't argue much and get to raise a family together. That's not too much, is it?" Harry shook his head no, silently thinking that it would really be enough for him as well, if he could get it. "It's just that Ron's not at that point yet, and I don't know if he ever will."
He nodded, rubbing his face again. "Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, Hermione."
"Thanks, Harry," she said, giving him a radiantly sweet smile. "I'll do the same for you." She stood up, heading for the door. "I'll let you get back to work now."
"Yeah, that'd be best;" he picked up the scrolls that she brought. "Thanks for bringing these."
"No problem," she said, turning for the door.
"And thanks for the advice," he added.
She gave him one of her pleased radiant smiles that set his monster somersaulting, and left him with a simple "You're welcome," while he found himself wishing that the vacation he was about to plan would be with her and not with his current girlfriend who was trying to force him into a marriage he now realized he didn't want.
To be continued.
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