"I Know the Truth"
By: AnndeeGranger
Summary: Someone realizes the truth, a little too late. Song Fic.
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own Harry Potter (wouldn't mind the deed to Won-Won though) and no infringement is intended.
~*~*~*~*~
How did I come to this?
How did I slip and fall?
How did I throw half a lifetime away
Without any thought at all?
I watched them, happy, ecstatic, and glowing. They were happy. I should be happy for them, and I was - in a way.
I also felt so defeated, for I've finally realized what had been staring at me in the face for years. I have wasted half my life pining for, wishing for, and thinking that I would get my prince. I had never really thought it through. Until now that is, and now it was too late to save myself the pain.
This should have been my time
It's over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can
I should be the one in his arms right now, dancing across the floor as newlyweds. This should have been my day. It never will be though, the man in the dashing suit, his raven hair untamable as ever, bouncing as he looked down with emerald eyes at his bride, oblivious to everyone else around them, including the stare from a secretly forlorn woman, standing to the sideline. Where I belong, I just always refused to see it.
I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of shift in a star
It should have been me; it was SUPPOSED to be me. I continued to watch the couple, torturing myself.
But I know the truth and it haunts me
it's flown just a little too far
I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
It's flown just a little too far.
I sighed. Well maybe it wasn't supposed to be me; obviously it was supposed to be her. He never looked at me like that; he never told me he loved me. It was a mockery of my own making that I ever thought things would end up differently. It's still a bit shocking to me that she's now Mrs. Harry Potter, but I let my delusions get a bit out of hand and go just a bit too far.
Why do I want him still?
Why when there's nothing there?
Here I am, standing here, off to the side of the dance floor, watching the man I had dreamed of marrying for half of my life dancing with the woman that he did marry. Why am I torturing myself this way? Why can't I just let it go? Obviously there was never anything there between us, so why can't I let this go?
How to go on with the rest of my life
To pretend I don't care
Somehow, I just have to move on. Move on and pretend that I'm happy for them. Pretend to be excited when their future children are born, pretend that I'm happy with the man who'll one day call me wife and dance with me in his arms at our wedding as the man I want is doing right now with his new bride.
This should've been my time
It's over-It never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can
I closed eyes, tried to picture myself in the arms of the man on the dance floor, the way I had countless times before, all the while I was helping my friend - the woman in his arms now, the one I envied now above any other - plan her wedding to the man I had always thought of as belonging to me. I couldn't. The image wouldn't come, and I opened my brown eyes.
I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of twist in my fate
But I know the truth and it haunts me
I learned it a little too late
Maybe I should have opened my eyes a long time ago, I thought as I turned away from watching the couple on the dance floor. I began to walk towards the door, the finality that my childish fantasy would never come true began to sink in. I ran a hand through my long red hair as I stepped into the sunshine of an unusually bright London afternoon.
It will always be in the back of my mind- what if. Though if I really thought about it, there were clues. Maybe they had been hidden clues, but they were there nonetheless. It was so obvious, the way they always had each other's backs, the way that one could always trust and lean on the other, the way that nothing could break their friendship apart, not even two siblings that desperately wanted the other to themselves completely, the way they looked at each other when they thought no one else was looking.
It was just too bad that I couldn't see it until it was too late.
Oh I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
I learned it a little too late
Too late
~*~*~*~
A/N: The song lyrics are from Elton John's and Tim Rice's "Aida"
A/N2: Thank you, once again, to the amazing Joanie and LadyStarlight
-->