Fading Regrets

Title: Fading Regrets
Author Name: MythX
Author e-mail: k3nny@paradise.net.nz
Category: Action/Adventure, Romance 
Keywords: Harry/Hermione, Voldemort, death, love
Spoilers: All four
Rating: PG13
Summary: In a world plagued with Terrorism, Harry Potter triumphs over evil once again, but at a terrible price. He knew this moment would come, and is prepared to die to stop his enemy. Hermione Granger is in the middle of a content relationship with Ron Weasley, with just one regret: That she didn’t choose Harry. After what seems like Harry’s final act, is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Will he come back, smashing the wizard world’s philosophy about death? Will Hermione ever get to tell Harry how much he means to her?
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers include but are not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 Chapter 3:

A week after splitting up with Ron, Hermione was still at Harry’s side every spare second that she got.

One time, she had been sitting at Harry’s side, holding his arm in her usual manor, and thinking idly about what Harry would be saying if he could see her doing this. Most people had given up on him now – he was still not breathing, and yes – the magic in his veins was getting stronger, but he should have resumed his usual breathing patterns by now. Professor Dumbledore had glumly stated that perhaps the young legend cannot defy the laws of magic after all – but Hermione wasn’t giving up.

Hermione, for the first time in her life, was actually appreciative of the Daily Prophet. In every issue since the event, the magical newspaper had published a tribute story to Harry, interviewing anyone and everyone who would share something in his memory. Hermione had willfully contributed a truckload of memories, wanting Harry to be remembered for the wonderful person that he was. The affect of what she had said just increased public admiration for him, which was fine by Hermione. The Prophet reporter wasn’t exaggerating in the least when she made comments such as “With tears streaming down her face…” – it had been very hard on Hermione bringing back their many adventures, but it felt good to get them off her chest. The thing that encouraged her most was seeing Harry with his eyes nearly popping out of his head in shock at the sight of all this publicity – Harry had always had a soft spot for Hermione, and he found it impossible to be angry with her, so he had to be content with disapproving of her actions.

In his memory, each and every Quidditch match in the wizarding world had gone through a customary moment of silence – every ministry meeting begun in this fashion, and once every day the Wizarding radio network would have a moment’s silence as well. Muggles originally had been unaware of his perishing, but had been told of his fate after they had been searching frantically for him. They had wanted to interview him. So, before each and every one of their sports matches, they too held a moment’s silence in his memory – but they had stopped doing that after a month. Hermione couldn’t see the wizarding world relenting from this memorial moment – Harry just meant too much to everyone. The muggles didn’t know the half of what happened, it was understandable that it wouldn’t be so meaningful to them.

Even if Harry did bounce back to life, Hermione had been told that it would be a long and tedious process before Harry was the boy that they had all knew so well. Hermione had silently vowed that she would be with him every step of the way if he made it that far– she was not going to let him go without her friendship and love any longer.

 Hermione suddenly snapped out of her dreamy state and held her breath – Something had disturbed the silence that was usually in the room. Hermione realized what the noise was – it was breathing! She closed her eyes and muttered a prayer of hope, before glancing down at the corpse in front of her. 

The most unbelievable thing was happening – Harry was breathing! Its like magic Hermione thought to herself. She was grinning like an idiot so much that she didn’t even stop to realise how stupid that had sounded. He had defied the critics, he had defied the laws of magic, and he had contradicted the beliefs of everyone – Harry Potter had come back from the dead.

Hermione leapt in the air, jumping for joy. She just had to tell someone. A miracle had taken place before her very eyes. Hermione found a sudden burst of energy as she nearly flew towards the great hall, where dinner would be being served at that very moment.

The noise of the Great Hall doors banging as Hermione threw them open disrupted the silence that almost customarily fell whenever a teacher wasn’t talking. No one seemed to be able to get the memory out of his or her head. Everyone was too preoccupied asking him or herself a question they hoped they never would have to answer, ‘would I be brave enough to do what Harry did?’ The loud banging of the doors snapped them out of their trances, and they all looked up with the usual grim hope in their eyes.

“He’s breathing!” Hermione yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice intruding on silence.

The effects of those simple words was instant – the entire school was suddenly on its feet cheering. Conversation, which hadn’t featured at Hogwarts meals for a long time, suddenly broke out – the chatter was all focused around one boy, their hero.

Grins were shared all round, and Dumbledore conjured up a particularly large supply of butter beer for a party that would go long into the night.

There was a small and simply question nagging at the back of every mind, and that involved Harry. ‘What will Harry be like now that he’s back from the dead?’ – no one really knew. The experience may have changed him considerably  – but then again, who wouldn’t be changed after going through an event like that? Not one single student could say that they had not been changed. Deep down, Hermione felt that Harry would be that same smiling person – he had been ready to die long before the event had taken place.

Hermione was not to stay at the celebrations, however, as there was somewhere far more important for her to be. She scurried back to the infirmary with a beautiful twinkle in her eyes and a grin firmly plastered on her face.

Harry was much the way she had left him. Hermione soon lost touch with reality as she watched his slow rhythmical actions as he breathed and out again.

“He’s getting better then,” an old but cheerful voice stated. Hermione jumped, she had been so wrapped up in her happiness that she had not noticed someone enter. She spun to see who had spoken, and discovered that Professor Dumbledore was behind her. She hadn’t heard him speak cheerfully for so long that she had not recognised the voice.

“Will he be the same person, Professor?” Hermione asked with a quiver in her voice.

Dumbledore considered this a moment, before answering,

“I’m afraid I don’t know, Hermione. No one has experienced this before, but I’m prepared to bet that if it’s possible for someone to make a full recovery, then Harry will do just that.” He said this in a soothing voice, and as Hermione watched, she saw a faint smile creep to the corner of Harry’s lips.

About a week later, it seemed Harry’s brain had got back from holiday – as he was thrashing about wildly with grim determination. His condition had barely changed – he had not been conscious yet.

As usual Hermione was at his side. Memorials were being turned into celebrations as Harry Potter was hailed as ‘The Boy Who Lived’ once more. The Daily Prophet had published a story stating that the wonder-boy was coming back from the dead – something that they made sure to point out, had never been accomplished before.

Harry is going to kill me when he wakes up, Hermione thought happily – the thought of Harry alive was the one thing that kept her going on the average school day. She was at his side every moment that she was not in class – leaving only to go to bed when Madame Pomfrey forced her out. While at his side she would do her homework, and even sleep next to him, still holding his hand. She even studied, and Hermione wondered strangely if he could understand her – he seemed to smile at the oddest of times – like when she found an interesting fact in ‘Hogwarts – A History’, for example, and read it out loud.

It was but a few days later that Hermione had started scribbling furiously on her parchment to the sound of Harry’s slow, deep breathing. When she finished what she was writing, however, the deep breathing had stopped. Turning to Harry, she let out a piercing scream – Harry was looking right at her.

Within moments the room had aurors in it – the ministry had dispatched some to Hogwarts to guard Harry as he made his recovery. Everyone had thought it rather excessive, and people often joked that after Voldemort, Harry could probably stop anyone else in his sleep.

When the guards saw that he was conscious, they visibly relaxed, and you could see the respect in their eyes as they looked at Harry. They admired him as much as the students, Hermione realized. In the war that they had fought with Voldemort, the side of good had very little success. They had needed someone to idolize just like everyone else, and so they chose Harry Potter. Hermione couldn’t help but mentally complement them on their choice.

Harry’s eyes seemed out of focus – he couldn’t see anything, but his eyes were searching frantically around the room. Post-shock perhaps? As his eyes finally seemed to focus, they settled on her. Suddenly the shock left them, and they were replaced by calmness. Harry closed his eyes and seemed to go back to sleep – seeing Hermione safe appeared to have satisfied him.

This became a usual episode with Hermione. Every now and then, Harry would open his eyes, see her, and then go back to sleep.

Harry couldn’t yet talk – and Hermione suspected that he couldn’t hear. He couldn’t move his body either, which scared Hermione a lot. Of all the people, she knew that he definitely didn’t deserve to be paralyzed. Dumbledore had reassured her that it was early days yet, and the Daily Prophet had begun to exclaim Harry’s triumphant return.

 In Harry’s considerably weakened state, it was rather fascinated observing his actions. No one was sure if he would get him memory back at all – but it seemed to Hermione, that he knew who she was. Everyone else thought the same way – when Harry finally got the use of his mouth, he had the energy to stay awake longer. Sometimes, he would show no signs of resting, although his eyes sure liked tired. It was these times that the Hogwarts matron had wanted to give him sleeping potions. He had sharply refused the potion from Madame Pomfrey, denying any entry to his mouth. In fact, no one was allowed to feed him the potion except Hermione, who he confidently trusted.

And it was on that note that Harry Potter recovered. With the Daily Prophet giving the world a running commentary, and with students visiting the Infirmary on a Daily basis, Harry slowly begun mastering his body once more. Hermione couldn’t really compare this entire experience to anything except nurturing a baby.

One day, however, Harry Potter learnt to do something else. The October feast was a few days off, and Hermione was merrily completing her homework, with Harry carefully watching as well. Suddenly, the silence was broken.

“Hi Hermione, what's my name?”

It sounded like the stupidest question in the world – Harry appeared to know Hermione’s name, yet not his own. If Hermione hadn’t been so shocked at hearing his voice she probably would have laughed – it sounded funny, but his question had been asked innocently.

“Your names Harry. Harry Potter.” Hermione answered, feeling tears prickling at her eyes. She felt like a mother who had just observed her child speak its first word.

“Ohh. I’m… not, sure how I know you, but I do.” He said hesitantly. Feeling rather ashamed. Harry seemed to be able to do most things now, and his voice hadn’t changed a bit. It seemed that the only thing he didn’t have was his memory.

“Don’t worry. We all know you Harry. You will remember slowly.”

Flanked by the rest of the school, Hermione had started one of the stupidest quests in her life – finding Harry’s memory.

Some of the discussions were actually rather humorous. Two days after Harry had first started to speak, his fellow Gryffindor year group were assembled in the infirmary. Harry’s memory hadn’t come back to him at all, but he learnt fast. The Gryffindors were all telling him about himself.

“You’re a perfect divination student Harry. You really try hard in that class” Lavander Brown contributed.

“You get good marks too… Professor Trelawney even predicted this,” Ron said, trying to keep a straight face while cuddling up to Lavender. Ron and Lavender had become ‘a thing’ now, yet Ron always seemed to glance over and Hermione with hope. Hermione was always found watching Harry.

Hermione shook her head at their funny antics. Well, at least Fred and George weren’t trying to brainwash him. Yet.

“No I’m not.” Harry said to Ron and Lavender.

The shock that crossed their faces was priceless.

“And how, would you know that?” Ron asked rather indignantly, wondering how someone with no memory could contradict him.

“Because Hermione shook her head.” Harry replied confidently.

All eyes turned to Hermione. Her faced mirrored their ones. She was just as surprised as they were.

“What makes you believe her?” Ron asked Harry controversially.

“Because I trust her.” Harry replied simply.

“Why wouldn’t you trust the more attractive witch?” Lavender asked Harry, putting on a particularly charming face, and fluttering her eyelashes at Harry.

Harry snorted. “Hermione looks far more beautiful to me.” He replied happily.

Everyone except Lavender laughed at Harry’s challenging look, as though daring Lavender to try and contradict him. Lavender looked a bit putout at first, but even she joined in eventually, but Harry looked completely oblivious to what was so funny.

This conversation was just one of the many to come on Harry’s long road to recovery.