"Oh-my-god. Is that your…"
"Yep. Are you really that surprised?"
"Well, I never thought it would be so…big."
"Well a man of my stature couldn't have a small one now could he? It would be an embarrassment."
"True, but I mean, how many people have seen it?"
"Oh lots. Lets see there was Ginny, uh, Dean and Seamus, and I'm almost certain that Ron has, as well as Parvati and Padma. Oh yea and Lavender."
"Oh is that all?"
"No, lets see, there was also Professors Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore."
"Dear lord, please tell me that's all. This is getting ridiculous."
"Oh, and Filch."
"Oh my god. FILCH saw it? That's just ridiculous, uh, may I touch it?"
"Of course Hermione, what kind of boy friend would I be if I denied you the privilege of this great pleasurable experience."
"OH wow, it's so…soft…and…oh…smooth. It's wonderful Harry!"
"Yea it is the best. I love to play with it. I can amuse myself for hours on end. I tell you, it's hard to get things done these days. All I want to do is play with it! It's great!"
"Oh my, it most certainly is."
"Well Hermione I think that's enough stroking and what not for right now. We had better get to Herbology."
"Ok but can I play with it later…for a little longer maybe?"
"Absolutely my dear. Now lets go."
"Oh Harry, does it have a name? Just so I know what to call it?"
"Oh yea, its name is Excalibur because it is a mighty, mighty thing."
***"Albus, have you seen Potter's thing? Its name is Excalibur you know. I can't believe how big it is!"
"Your right Minerva. It is a most remarkable sight, in all my years I've never seen one quite like it; and I have seen a lot of them."
"Well so have I Albus, I assure you, but it's just so large and he flaunts it around so you can't help but notice and stare. Perhaps we should make him put it away so that the other boys don't get jealous."
"No Minerva, he's just a boy, we must afford him this great dignity. He needs it to keep his ego up. The other boys will be fine, I assure you."
"Well if you say so."
***
The whole school was abuzz with the latest Harry Potter scandal. All the students who had seen agreed that it was quite obscene the way that he openly showed it to anyone who would ask. The girls loved it as well of some of the more, um, feminine boys. The other boys were extremely jealous and told Harry so regularly, but no one was more jealous than Ron.
"Harry, I can't believe this. I mean, its just amazing mate. I'm completely jealous and if I could I would steal it from you."
"Well, I wouldn't advise that you try Ron. I am very attached to it. Now that I know what it is and how to use it, I'm quite sure I could not live without it. Hermione especially loves it though. She has become obsessively attached to it. It's kind of weird actually. She wants to see it all the time and play with it and stuff, and don't get me wrong its fun, especially when we play with it together. But its just tedious and gets boring after a while."
"Yea I'm sure she does love it. Pervert. She's mental you know. But with her nose always in a book im sure she's read a lot about them so she knows how to handle them."
"Oh sure. She's great with it and it really likes her too."
"I'm sure it does."
"Oh hi Neville."
"Hi Harry. Oh my, what s that?"
Oh, its just my…"
Muawwww Huawwww! I'm evil, I know. This is completely pointless I know but I felt it necessary to do it. Anyways, I want to know what YOU ALL think Harry's "thing" should be. The best idea will get put in the story along with the author's name and all that. PLEASE GIVE ME GOOD IDEAS!!!!!!!!
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