Awaiting the Arrival

            Disclaimer: I neither own the Harry nor the Potter in Harry Potter.

            For Jessica: my HHr loving friend. See? I told you I’d write you a story! (Giggles) “You’re my bestest friend in the whole, wide room!”

            Note: This is un-betaed. Yeah, I love you guys that much. : Okay, okay…this is old… This is one of the stories I turned in for my Author Application, and I kind of forgot about it. Oops!

            He wrung his hands together, anxiously awaiting her arrival. He craned his neck and was on the tip of his toes, trying to look above the crowd of people. Like other people around him, he was waiting for someone; someone special. His face showed anxiety, and he desperately wished the train would arrive soon.

            “Hey, Harry! Are you waiting for someone?” a classmate asked, grinning.

            Harry stared at him for a moment, wondering what the hell he was doing, grinning at a time like this. A war had just ended for fuck’s sake! Did he have no dignity? Not wanting to say anything, Harry simply nodded.

            “Ooh! Is it someone special?” He nudged Harry with his elbow. “Is it some girl?”

            Again, Harry nodded. He could hardly believe someone was so casual right now.

            “Well, mate, who is it?” Harry’s classmate pressed on.

            “H-H-Hermione,” his voice rasped. Harry’s throat was sore, as if he hadn’t used it in a while. He exercised opening and closing his mouth just to see if it still worked. He couldn’t care less if some former student thought he was crazy or a fish gasping for water.

            The boy’s face displayed disappointment. “Oh. I thought it was some special girl,” he muttered. He walked away before Harry could find his voice and retort, “Hermione is special.”

            He checked his ever-faithful watch, counting the minutes until they got here. There was five more minutes to go. Would he see her in five minutes? Was she safe at this very moment? He hoped so. With everything else not mattering, he hoped so.

            His heart was beating against his chest, pounding harder and harder that he could have sworn that the people surrounding him heard it. As the seconds passed, his heartbeat became faster and less stable. They were random beats instead of a harmonized drum. He was certain he was going to faint.

            With another glance at his watch, Harry saw that there were only four minutes left. Four minutes- would she be happy to see him? Four minutes- would she want to see him? After all, their last moment together was not a joyous one. In fact, to another’s point of view, one might even say that it was Harry’s fault. Everything was his fault, wasn’t it?

            “Hermione, I’m begging you,” he pleaded. “You have to go back to Hogwarts now.” Harry looked straight into her chocolate brown orbs, resting both his hands on Hermione’s shoulders.

            “No, I won’t,” Hermione answered back stubbornly. “You know I won’t. I promised- Ron and I promised that we wouldn’t leave you. I’m not going back. I’m with you now.”

            “It’s not safe, and it’s not necessary. You have to go ! I have to do this alone. Why can’t you understand that?”

            “Because you can’t do this alone, Harry. You need me just as much as I need you.”

            Harry turned away, his eyes watering in an uncharacteristic way. “I don’t need you. I just want you to be safe, Hermione. That’s what I need.”

            “Don’t you get it, Harry? When I’m with you, I feel safe- I am safe! I want to help you. I can’t just stay at Hogwarts, waiting to see if the war is over or not. Besides, Dumbledore,” her voice faltered,”…Dumbledore’s not there.”

            “I know you’re much safer at Hogwarts than with me. I have to kill Voldemort, Hermione. How safe could that be? Do I want my best friends to watch me murder someone? No! I want them to pretend that everything’s fine at their boarding school and that they don’t have to worry about some fucking war that their best friend fucking caused!”

            “You didn’t cause a war,” Hermione said persistently. “You didn’t. You’re just doing what’s expected of you. I know that everyone’s counting on you, and I know that from a very small age, you’ve learned to grow up a lot. We’re not children anymore, Harry. Let’s not act like them.”

            “We’re not acting like children. We’re acting how Harry Potter and Hermione Granger would when they argue. It’s a very mature conversation. You see, my best friend won’t go away for the sake of her own safety. I’m pleading and begging on my fucking knees that she would go, but nothing I do is making her budge.”

            Hermione’s expression of hurt was written clearly on her face. “Okay,” she gave up. “If that’s what you want, Harry. I’ll go, but don’t think that I’m going just because my safety is at risk. I’m going because you asked me to.” Tears silently poured down her face. Harry wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs.

            “I love you, you know that, right?” He gave her a faint smile. Harry wanted to look at her eyes once more. But she turned away, hiding her face from Harry’s view.

            “Yeah,” she sighed, mentally preparing herself to apparate to Hogsmeade. “I know.” With a loud crack, Hermione was gone.

            He really screwed up, didn’t he? He hoped that with everything okay and safe now, she would find some place in her heart to forgive him. He couldn’t stand to have her be angry at him for so long. What if she didn’t forgive him? Would they pretend that they never knew each other? What would happen when Ron needed them both? Would they pretend that nothing was ever wrong? Was it so wrong to be so fucking concerned for his friends nowadays? It seemed like everything Harry tried to do, he was always doing it wrong. What was right?

            He bit his lip nervously as Hermione did when she was worried. He was anxious to see her. Now that the war was over, he could spend more time with her. As the years flew by and Harry’s destiny was to be fulfilled, he neglected their friendship. They could start over, possibly finish their wizarding education. Hermione would like that.

            Another minute passed; only three more minutes to go. Why did it seem like it was going to be three more years? Harry guessed it was because Hermione was that important to him. He listened to his heart beating again, wondering if it was going so rapidly because he was excited or restless. Perhaps he was both.

            Harry tried to distract himself by thinking of other things. He thought of his other best friend Ron…and then of Hermione. He thought of Hogwarts…and then of Hermione. He tried to think of something that didn’t pertain to her, but he couldn’t. Even quidditch, a sport Hermione wasn’t fond of but enjoyed watching because her friends played it often, reminded him of Hermione. He loved the fact that she included quidditch into her busy schedule when Harry knew that she’d rather be reading a book.

            He gave up on trying to distract himself and thought of all the goals and dreams Hermione had. Even though she was at Hogwarts, there weren’t enough professors to properly teach the remaining students. The Hogwarts castle’s purpose was now more of a shelter and safe haven for those who had no other. Would they- could they complete their seventh year at Hogwarts? And if so, would the traditions continue? Could Hermione be the Head Girl, the position that was most expected of her? And what was their future after Hogwarts? Would Hermione continue to promote S.P.E.W.? It was most likely. Hermione was never one to let a subject go so easily.

            Harry, realizing that he was at the Hogwarts Express train station, looked around for familiar faces. Not too many were. The people he did recognize, however, he did not want to talk to. So far, Harry had said a short hello to a few people who congratulated him for a job well done on his defeat of Voldemort. They were waiting for someone special too, right?

            Before he knew it, others were cheering and jumping up and down at the arrival of the Hogwarts Express. Harry let out a breath that he never knew he was holding. The speeding train on the railroad track came closer and closer. Was he ready for it? Was he ready for her? Soon, the train came to a full stop, and Harry could feel the heat coming off of the train.

            The doors of the train sprang open, and people cautiously walked out, looking for their friends and relatives. Once they found them, a few squealed, relieved and ecstatic at the same time. His heartbeat raced again as he watched loved ones reunite. Some hugged, others kissed.

            He walked across the station, looking carefully for his best friend. After half an hour, Harry looked to his left and then his right, only to find the station deserted.

            She never came out of the train.

“Don’t you get it, Harry? When I’m with you, I feel safe- I am safe!”

END

A/N: So, we’re all assuming that she died, and Harry was never ever happy…Evil, aren’t I?