All I Want for Christmas

A/N: This is my first attempt to write fan fiction of any sort. Plus, I don't have the knowledge that most of you do about Harry Potter, as I've only read fan fiction and seen the movies. I've tried to be as true to the series as I can considering my knowledge, but the story may be slightly AU. Please be constructively critical of my work. Thanks in advance for your kindness. Maybe I'll write more of these in the future if this one goes well.

Thanks again to everybody for their patience with me. My class schedule for this semester has led me to have a lot of homework, so I don't have as much time to write as I would like. I appreciate everybody who's reviewed my story so far. I'd enjoy hearing from more of you.

At the suggestion of one of my reviewers, I'm going to ask people to include their guesses as to when Harry and Hermione are going to get engaged in their reviews. I look forward to reading your guesses. I will say that I will not comment on them, so as to keep you all guessing.

If any of you want to try to figure out where I'm going, you might want to read my replies to people's reviews, as I will occasionally drop a hint in there. However, be wary, I have been known to toss out some red herrings too. Speculate at your own risk.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. All characters belong to J. K. Rowling.

All I Want for Christmas

Chapter 17: Is It True?

Hermione quietly shut her bedroom door after finishing her nightly rituals.

That felt really nice. Leaning on Harry like I was. We should do that more often. Wait a minute…that might give him the idea that I fancy him though, and I'm not sure I'm ready to come across like that to him.

“Why does everything have to be so bloody confusing?” Hermione grumbled to herself as she made her way to her bed and laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

Why does everybody but me seem to be sure that I fancy Harry?

Maybe it's because you do, the all-too-familiar voice in her head suggested.

Not you AGAIN!

You said that we'd finish our conversation from earlier later, and now is the perfect time, the voice pointed out.

Hermione sighed. You're right. Why do you have to be so bloody persistent?

Why do you have to be so bloody stubborn? the voice shot back.

I'm not stubborn!

Then why won't you admit that you love Harry? the voice demanded.

Because I don't…Do I?

You know, denial is not just a river in Egypt, the voice stated.

I'm not in denial.

Not as much as earlier, but you still refuse to admit your feelings for Harry that we both know that you have, the voice countered.

I don't know that I have feelings for Harry.

Who said you were the second part of “we”? the voice demanded.

Are you suggesting that Harry knows something about me that I don't?

You two know each other better than you do yourselves, so why is that surprising to you? the voice pondered aloud.

But it isn't logical for me to love Harry?

Love isn't always logical, but you and Harry makes a whole lot more sense than you think, the voice informed her.

How so?

We just went over the fact that you know each other better than you know yourselves. You two have been best friends for six and a half years. You two have been through more together than most people your age. Need I go on?

Hermione's eyes widened at the use of something she had said to Thomas earlier in the day. No. Now, if you'd kindly leave me alone so I can think things through, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Sure thing, lovergirl, the voice said.

Don't call me lovergirl!

Hermione sat up with her back against the headboard.

Do I love Harry? We mean a lot to each other, but is that enough? Or is that love, but using other words to describe it?

It's possible. Maybe I do love him and haven't wanted to admit it to myself.

I did think that Harry was good boyfriend while I was talking to Thomas…Maybe subconsciously I've realized that there's something more than just a friendship between us. He's certainly more fanciable than he's ever been. Not only has he become more handsome over the years, but he's matured nicely too.

Maybe the better question to ask is: Why (not including Voldemort) would I not love Harry?

Hermione stared at the ceiling as she pondered her question.

Failing to come up with an answer to her question, Hermione stood up slowly and walked over to the spot on the wall that hung the picture of her and Harry that her dad had used earlier in the day, and gingerly took it off the wall.

Caressing it, she held it and watched the moon illuminate her and Harry's beaming faces.

Harry's been my life for the last six and a half years. We've been through everything together. We've been there for each other when the other has needed us the most. I can't imagine what life would be like if Harry wasn't there to share it with me. I love him.

Hermione gasped. “Did I just think that?” she whispered to herself. “Is it true?”

She paused for a moment and looked affectionately down at the picture. “It's absolutely true. I love Harry. I'd marry him tomorrow if he asked me to,” she said aloud quietly to herself before hanging the picture back on the wall and returning to bed.

When did I fall in love with Harry?

There's so many possibilities, that I don't know that I'll ever know for sure. There's watching him teach the DA…There's when he insisted on going to try to rescue Sirius from the Department of Mysteries…There's after the Triwizard Tournament…There's when we rescued Sirius from getting The Kiss…There's when I first saw him after being unpetrified…Then there's…Then there's…when I had to go back to help Ron and Harry had to go on to face Voldemort by himself…

Thinking back on it, it must have been that last one. I almost told him that I loved him then. Though, it probably wouldn't have been the same sort of love then, but that would mean that I've loved him since we were first years. Could I have possibly loved him subconsciously for six years?

Absolutely.

Wait a minute! Now the Harry and Ron being father and son image makes sense…Harry would be the dad, Ron would be his son, and I'm Harry's wife. We're always looking after Ron to keep him out of trouble like parents try to keep their children out of trouble. Harry and I are also more mature than Ron, as he can be a big prat at times. Harry'll be a great father. I'd love to have children with him. Wait a minute, Hermione…let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here. You haven't even told Harry that you love him, and you're already thinking about having children with him? Let's take this one step at a time.

Hermione put a hand to her face in realization. All I needed to do was listen to my heart to hear it tell me that I love Harry before I could understand the image.

Hermione jumped out of bed and quickly walked over to the door. I should tell him now how I feel and what I've figured out.

Hermione grabbed the doorknob and started to turn it, but then turned around so her back was against the door. No, I can't! Harry doesn't fancy me, and I don't want to make things awkward between us.

As soon as she said that, she heard a very soft voice saying “Good night, Hermione. I love you.”

Hermione's eyes grew wide. That sounded like Harry! It must have been in my head. But, it sounded like it was coming from the hallway. I'll have a look, just in case.

Hermione turned back around and put her hand back on the doorknob, and after pausing for a moment to gather her Gryffindor courage, she opened the door.

Hermione peaked her head out into the hallway and looked in both directions, but saw no one.

Sighing disappointedly, Hermione closed the door again. I wish Harry had been out there. I would have told him that I love him too if he was.

With that, Hermione made her way over to her bed and laid down again. “Good night, Harry. I love you,” she whispered softly, before settling into her favorite sleeping position and falling into a restful sleep.

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