Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Panic! At the Disco (Although I would love to) or the song "Build God, Then We'll Talk." Which I suggest you listen to, because it's awesome!
"There was a terrible crash,
There was a terrible…CRASH" - Panic! At the Disco
"Lily?"
"Yes James?" I called out, walking into my living room to find James Potter standing in the middle of it.
"I have a surprise for you," he said, grinning widely and his eyes dancing.
"What is it?" I asked him suspiciously, eyeing him up, noticing his nice suit. Why was he dressed like that?
"It's a surprise, go get ready," he told me.
"James, tell me where we're going," I begged him. I didn't like surprises that much.
"Just go, but hurry or we'll be late," he told me, gently pushing me out of the room.
I obeyed him and tried to get ready as quickly as I could. My mind raced with what my surprise could be. James loved surprises. Where could we be going with James dressed in a muggle suit? Surely it wasn't a wizarding place. But a muggle place? I struggled with this idea as I got dressed. I quickly put make-up on and put on my black high heels to match my black dress.
I walked back into my living room. James was looking at a few old pictures, when he turned to look at me I knew I looked good. It was written all over his face.
"Well? Are we leaving or not?" I asked him impatiently.
Instead of answering, he grinned and took my arm. He led me out of my flat. To my surprise, there was a small red car outside. "James? What is that doing here?" I asked him. Instead of just answering me like any normal person, he walked to the passenger's side and opened the door for me. I eyed him warily, but got in anyways. He went around the car and sat in the driver's seat. When he started the car, my heart was in my throat. He surely wasn't about to drive it. Was he? He couldn't! He didn't know how to! "James, what are you doing?" I asked him, the nervousness in my voice.
"Relax Lils," he told me as he pulled out and onto the street.
"James. James stop!" I demanded as I held onto the door handle for dear life.
"Sorry. I can't do that. We've somewhere to be," he said as he maneuvered the car quite well I have to say.
"And just where is that?" I queried again. This was killing me, why couldn't he just tell me?
"I told you, it's a surprise," he told me.
"James you know I don't like surprises," I said.
"You'll like this one," he reassured me.
"I'd like it better if I knew what it was," I muttered.
We traveled in silence for a little while. It wasn't uncomfortable though as silences usually are. James and I had been friends since our last year at Hogwarts. It's been a year since we graduated. We went out briefly our last year, but it didn't work out but we stayed friends as we are now, although we're closer. James is a great friend, except when he tries to surprise me.
"How much further is it?" I asked him.
"Oh it shouldn't be too much further," he said.
"What's the occasion that you're taking me out?" I asked him, hoping that maybe I could get some clues that way.
"Nothing much. I just felt like it," James replied.
"You just felt like it? Fine then, don't tell me the real reason," I said as I pouted, just like a little child.
"Don't fret Lils, we're almost there. A block or two yet," he said.
As I looked out the window, nothing looked familiar. I had never been to this part of London before. It looked expensive. As was many of the places James treated me to, although it was usually with the rest of our little group.
We stopped at a traffic light, and it took forever it seemed. My anticipation grew. Where were we going?
The light turned green, and James started to pull out.
That was the instant when the truck coming from the side smashed into the little car.
I could hear the squealing of tires, shattering glass, and the crunch of metal and plastic. I remember feeling pain at being thrown out of my seat only to be pulled back in by my seatbelt. I remember the sound of chaos. My head hit the door and I blacked out. That's all I remember, besides the pain surging through my body.
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When I opened my eyes I saw white. White, white, white. Sterile clean white. I hated it. It took me awhile to remember what had happened. The crash, the car…James. Where was James? I started to panic. Was he alright? Would he be ok? Where was he? Why wasn't he with me? Why was I alone in this room? I tried to get out of bed, but found I couldn't move my right arm. When I looked down I saw that it was in a cast. I only knew it because I'd head of them, and Petty had one when she broke her foot when we were little. Why hadn't they just fixed the bone? Why was I in a cast? An older nurse rushed in, I had alerted some kind of alarm when I tried to get out of bed.
"No, no honey. You have to stay in bed. You're in no condition to be released yet dear," she said in a motherly voice, coaxing me back into my horrid hospital bed.
"Where am I?" I asked her.
"You're in St. Mary's Hospital, dear," she told me, smoothing out the wrinkled in my blanket. I was in a muggle hospital. Just my luck.
"Where's James?" I demanded to know.
"Who?" she asked me with a question in her eyes. "Oh," she said softly as she realized who I was talking about. "The boy you were with in the car?"
"Yes," I said. He was alright wasn't he?
She didn't answer me right away, as if trying to save me from something I didn't want to hear.
"Where is he?" I asked again.
"He's…" she started.
He's not dead. He can't be dead. Please tell me James is alive.
"He's in the intensive care unit," she said. "He hasn't woken up yet."
"But, he'll be alright? James will be ok?" I asked her, half begging her to tell me what I wanted to hear. What I needed to hear.
"I don't know dear. He's not my charge. All I know is that he took a deadly blow. No one is certain of anything yet," she said slowly and quietly.
"I have to go see him," I said and tried to escape my bed.
"No, no. You mustn't," the nurse told me and blocked me, pushing me down onto my bed. "Maybe tomorrow, when the doctors say that you're ok. But not until then. Sorry dear." And with that, the old graying nurse left me alone in my room.
I looked out my window to see the sun setting. James was hurt. Badly. I felt horrible. I needed to see him. I needed to know he was ok. I had to see him.
That blasted nurse must've given me some sort of sleeping pill, because before I knew it I was drifting back into sleep, still thinking about him.
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When I woke up again, it didn't take me half as long to remember where I was. I knew I wanted out. The sun was high in the sky, so a day had passed. Now would they let me out? Only one way to know. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up. Sure enough, a nurse rushed in.
"Get back into bed, you shouldn't be up in your state," she reprimanded and tried her best to put me back into my bed.
"I'm fine," I said. "Nothing hurts, I need to go see James."
"James?" she asked.
"My friend. He's in the ICU," I told her.
"Oh dear," she said.
What was it with these nurses and 'dear'? It didn't make me feel any better.
"Let me go get the doctor," she said and left my room.
I tried to make myself look as presentable as I could given my state and the fact that I had no mirror and none of my cosmetics.
The doctor came in about five minutes later. He evaluated the little machines and asked me how I felt. I told him that I was fine and I wanted to leave. He chuckled a little at this and said that if I felt ok, I was free to go. But he wanted me to come back in a couple weeks to remove the cast. I agreed. He left as did the nurse and left me alone, saying that I could use the little bathroom adjoined to the room. I thanked her and made use of it. I gathered my purse that was on a little table in the room and stepped out into the hallway. I was determined to find James.
I started down one hallway only to find a dead end. I turned around and went past my room. I took various hallways and corridors until I came upon an elevator. I scanned the posting they had of all the various wings and centers. The ICU was on the first floor. I was on the third. I pushed the button and when it came, I had the misfortune of sharing it with on sick-looking little girl and her unhappy mother. I quickly exited it as soon as it opened on the first floor. They had a sign pointing towards the direction of the Intensive Care Unit and I followed the sign. Once I finally arrived, they had a little receptionist. I waited patiently until it was my turn in the line.
"Can I help you?" she asked me.
"Yes, I'm looking for James Potter," I said.
"James Potter? Hmm…" she said as she scanned her computer for him. "Oh yes, here he is. Room 203. Follow this hallway then take the second hall on your right. He'll be on the left side of the hall," she told me, pointing towards a hall.
"Thank you," I said and started off on the direction she had showed me. I tuned into the first corridor on my right. I passed room 201, then 202. When I reached 203 the door was shut. I opened it carefully and stepped inside. I saw his figure sleeping on the bed. I rushed over to his side and threw my arms around him, a few tears escaping from my eyes at his sorry state. "James, James please wake up," I cried. I looked at his sleeping face and tried to brush his hair out of his eyes.
"I hope he listens to you," a voice said. I looked up and saw Sirius sitting in a chair in the corner, "because he hasn't listened to me yet."
"Sirius!" I exclaimed as I rushed over to him and gave him a hug.
"How are you?" he asked me as he looked over me for any signs of injury. "How's your arm? What's that on it?"
"Oh," I said, looking down at my arm, "it's just a cast. It was broken."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. What about James? What did the doctor say?" I asked Sirius, afraid of what he might say.
"They said his skull is fractured and that he's bleeding between his skull and his brain. If it doesn't stop soon they're going to have to try and operate on it. They want him to wake up, it's not good that he hasn't yet. His leg is broken in two places," Sirius told me. I could barely breathe. I spun around and threw my arms around James' sleeping form. How could this of have happened? I couldn't hold back my tears, I hastily tried to wipe them away, but they just kept falling. Sirius patted me on my back and led me to the seat next to his.
"This is all my fault," I said quietly, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"How is this your fault?" Sirius asked me.
"He was trying to do something nice for me, like he always does," I sobbed. "Maybe if I wouldn't of have taken so long, that truck never would've hit him."
"Lily, it's not your fault," Sirius said, trying to console me.
"Yes it is Sirius," I said, getting a bit louder. "He can't die. I won't let him. I need him, Sirius. I need him," I cried as I leaned my leaning my head against Sirius' shoulder, my voice getting softer. "I need him more than I've needed anyone."
"Lily," Sirius said tentatively, turning his body so he looked straight into my red tear-stained eyes, "how much do you care for James?"
"A lot, Sirius…more than I've ever cared for anyone," I answered him, my heart aching.
"Do you love him?"
I stared at Sirius in shock for a moment. Then my eyes drifted towards James lying in his hospital bed. I swallowed hard and two tears made their way down my face as I realized how much I truly cared for him. "Yes, I do. I love him."
Sirius sighed. His eyebrows knit together forming a crease in his forehead. His grey eyes searched the ground, as if looking for an answer there.
"What is it, Sirius?" I asked him.
"Listen Lily," Sirius said slowly. "Where James was taking you, it was to the theater. To see Romeo & Juliet," he told me.
"That's my favorite play," I said quietly.
"He knew. Afterwards, he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend." My eyes started tearing up again. I could feel them. How much could I cry in an hour? "He had this in his coat pocket," Sirius said, pulling out a black velvet box and opening it to reveal a stunning diamond ring. "He wasn't going to ask you to marry him, but he was going to after awhile. He kept it with him for luck, in hopes that you'd agree."
This was too much. The tears came flooding down again. I took the little box from Sirius and held the ring in my hand. For such a tiny object it held so much promise. I couldn't bear to look at it, knowing James may never be able to put it on my finger and I gave it back to Sirius. Sirius tucked it back inside his pocket for safekeeping and stood up.
"I'm going to go check on Remus. Will you be ok?" he asked me.
I nodded, wiping the tears off of my face. "I'll be ok. Tell Remus I said 'hello'."
Sirius nodded and disapparated with a small pop.
I pulled my chair next to James' bed. I brushed his hair out of his face with my hand and I kissed him on the cheek. "I love you," I said, praying he could hear me. "I love you," I said again. It felt so good to say it. I intertwined his fingers with mine and I laid my head on his bed. I closed my eyes. Somehow, I fell asleep.
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I heard voices, so terribly annoying first thing in the morning. They were talking too loudly.
"Can I go home?" I heard someone ask. That voice. I knew that voice. It belonged to James. I instantly woke up and sat up in my chair. James was smiling at me as if nothing was wrong. "Sleep well?" he asked me.
"You're ok," I said, half-hoping I was really awake.
"I'm alright," he nodded.
I threw my arms around him and kissed him. "I love you,"
"I love you too, Lily," he said.
A/N: Another little one-shot. I was debating making this into a little story, but decided against it. Hope you liked it anyways.
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