Do You Love Me?

(A/N): I really can't choose a more appropriate song to begin this chapter. I also want to address something before you read the rest.

One constant criticism I have received while writing this story is that Hermione seems out of character. I understand the reasoning. However, I believe it is not implausible that a sensitive young woman would get caught in a world of fantasy. Indeed as readers of fanfiction do we not indulge ourselves in such a world too? I guess the moral of this story then serves as a warning to all of us. We must realize that though fantasy is based upon reality, fantasy speaks of an extreme.

This chapter is the real climax of the story. I hinted at it last chapter… Harry's going to be in agony… Ofcourse, I am not done torturing Harry and Hermione. They have scarred each other. Permanently or not that is for you to decide.

“Breathe”

“2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.”

- Anna Nalick

Do You Love Me - Chapter 7

Hermione slept peacefully for most of the night. She and Harry were finally on the path of reconciliation after six months of not speaking to each other. He hadn't said that he had forgiven her but his words gave her far more hope than she had allowed herself. Aspiring romantic he had said. It made her heart soar and beat like the wings of a hummingbird.

It was great to sleep in her old bed. The sheets smell like Harry's favorite detergent. All of his clothes also had the same fragrance. It was these little things that made her miss the whole: Harry and THEIR house.

Then suddenly Hermione jerked awake. And from somewhere in the house a bloodcurdling scream erupted.

Hermione leapt of bed dragging all of her bed sheets with her. She almost tripped over them as she grasped for her wand on the bedside table in the dark.

Her wand was vibrating uncontrollably and glowing green. The magical warp had begun.

Untangling herself from her bed sheets, Hermione raced to Harry's bedroom.

Frantically, she twisted the doorknob. The sight before her shocked her to the core of her body.

Harry was thrashing around in his bed. A slight silver bubble enveloped him. Raw magical energy seemed to pulse his being. For a moment, years of Healer training left Hermione's mind. She stood there horrified. Blood rushed in her eyes and all she could hear was the drumming of her heart.

A scream from Harry forced her out of her stupor. She rushed to his side. She had to get the nervous energy in his body under control. She had read about this before. Dumbledore himself had suffered from this affliction after he had defeated Grindelwald in 1945. Harry's qi was out of balance. Harry's soul was slowly separating from his body. Dumbledore had carefully recorded his experiences and noted that this was a problem that developed after traversing the Veil in the Department of Mysteries.

Hermione tried to use her wand to regulate the various systems in Harry's body. Her wand however was useless in channeling any energy. It worked like a similar force in a magnet. If Hermione had not been gripping her wand so tightly, it would have flown to the other side of the room.

Hermione sat on the side of Harry's bed. She would have to use wandless magic.

Hermione pulled Harry's bed sheets over him as she tried to stop his seizures. She gripped both of his large hands in hers and started to massage his palms as she whispered ancient Latin incantations over him. She tried to stay calm so that she could channel the sentiment through his body.

She began to think of good and happy memories of herself and Harry. As the memories washed over her mind like the flowing of the tide at high noon, Hermione continued to evenly chant. She remembered the first time they tentatively kissed before Harry entered the Veil to defeat Tom Riddle. The beginning of their friendship when he and Ron saved her from the troll. His reaction when he first saw her at the Yule Ball. Neville's retelling of how Harry panicked when she was injured at the Department of Mysteries. The way she hadn't stopped smiling after Harry told her she wasn't ugly. The way his eyes lit up after she hugged him and told him to be careful before he faced Quirrell/Voldemort in First Year. The first time he asked her out at Ron & Luna's wedding. The time they moved in to Godric's Hollow. Graduation. And his proposal.

The smell of a full English breakfast wafted through the four corners of Godric's Hollow. She quickly got ready for work in record speed before floating towards the kitchen. Harry was the best cook EVER.

When she entered, Harry was sitting at the kitchen table spinning a circular object on the countertop. He was deep in thought. Suddenly, Harry tossed the object above his head reaching a hand to catch it. However he underestimated the distance it would travel and he consequently had to jump off his barstool in order to catch it.

He nearly topped her over as he caught the ring. The only thing that kept her from falling was the secure hand he placed on her waist.

Hermione laughed.

“Harry, I never thought I'd say this but `Mate, you need to play Quidditch more. Or all your Seeker ability will go to bullocks',” Hermione said mimicking Ron perfectly.

“I should have recorded that,” Harry said grinning cheekily.

“What were you playing with?” Hermione asked after giving Harry a peck on the cheek.

“Nothing,” said Harry gruffly stuffing whatever was in his hand into the pockets of his robes.

“Really?”

“Nothing. Nothing. Breakfast?” he asked removing his hand from her waist and moving towards the stove.

“Yes, please. So what do you have to do at work today?”

Harry generously put food on Hermione's plate.

“I'm hoping to saddle Ron with some paperwork.”

“Yeah? What did he do to royally piss you off?” Hermione asked as she unceremoniously stuffed bacon and eggs down.

“He took a bunch of time off after last week's mission.”

Hermione laughed and then quickly sobered.

“Harry, I was wondering… You know we haven't done anything in so long. Ron and Luna are always going to Quidditch games and everything and I thought maybe we should go out and do stuff too,” she said.

“We went to Charlie's birthday party the other day.”

“Harry, that doesn't count,” she said looking at him.

“Hmmm…”

He had propped his elbows on the countertop. His face was in his hands as he gazed at her for a long while.

“Harry, I don't know how to say this but I think -“ she said as she continued to stuff her mouth. This was so embarrassing for her. She couldn't even look at him as she said it. So she just ate more and more.

“Hermione…”

“I think we shoes bee moha ntic rds eech othah.”

“Hermione, you've got too much food in your mouth. I can't understand you.”

“Ood be neesh ib be kood bo to a bovie and do coplie uff”

“Hermione…”

“Yah?”

He gently reached across the table and removed the fork from her hand.

“Marry me?”

It took Hermione's entire English upbringing to stop her from spewing her food all over. So she grudgingly swallowed her food. Multiple times she coughed and she motioned for a glass of water.

Harry looked at Hermione slightly horrified. Maybe asking her when she was easting wasn't the best time to ask her. Yet the ring in his pocket was weighing on his mind heavily. It was best to just get it out of the way before he lost his guts to ask her.

Silently, Harry handed Hermione her glass of water.

When Hermione was finally set right, she asked, “Did you just propose me?”

“Look, I even bought a ring,” Harry said precariously pulling the ring out of his pocket and into her palm.

“Harry…” Did he have to propose to her like this? He just handed her ring. He just asked her to marry him. No declarations of love. He didn't even kneel down on one knee.

And then she looked at him. He looked so frazzled and eager. And he had such a goofy smile on his face.

So she said yes.

Slowly, his seizures stopped and the words of the charm died on her lips. Her wand still held its green glow though. The warp still continued.

She breathed a sigh of relief. She reached for the bottle of water next to Harry's bed and poured part of the contents of the bottle on a section she ripped of his bed sheets and started to dab the cool cloth on his forehead. Harry had broken into sweat.

She was surprised that Harry proposing was one of her favorite memories. But she knew something now that she didn't know then. That she shouldn't have had these stupid expectations of how he was supposed to propose to her. Harry was right. Her fantasies were just that. Fantasies. His proposal had been perfect because it had been just so Harry of him. She felt guilty that she had ever doubted the nature of his feelings and that she had allowed her insecurities to take over her. While she had considered the whole world looking in on to their relationship, Harry had only seen them - him and her. And now, he had every right to hate and to be angry with her. He had been nervous when he proposed to her. She should have understood that. How long did he carry that ring with him waiting for the right moment before he blurted it out? Harry was so sweet and so unaffected.

And now she was scared beyond belief.

“Harry, Harry, come on… Wake up,” Hermione whispered.

Harry started. He gasped for breath. He noticed the wet cloth on his forehead. He dazedly pushed it aside as he tried to sit up.

Hermione gently pushed him down.

“How long has this been happening?”

He groggily looked at her.

“Here, have some water,” she said as she handed him the remaining contents of the bottle.

He sat up a bit, drank the water and rested his head back upon his pillow.

“I'm not in for an interrogation session.”

“How long has this been happening?”

“Three months.”

“And you didn't bother to tell me.”

“Gee, I wonder how I would have done that. Hermione, I get sick during warps because I'm upset. Do come and console my pathetic self. Just so that you can reject me once more.”

“You're not pathetic and stop acting like a smartarse.”

“I'm sorry. That's your job,” Harry bitterly replied.

They angrily watched each other.

“How many times have I told you to try those bloody relaxation techniques?”

“I can't concentrate.”

Hermione's face contorted in pain. She had gone pale.

“If you don't learn how to concentrate, this is going to happen during every single warp. What if I wasn't here? What if you had died?” she finally spat.

“I've done fine on my own. I don't need you to feel sorry for me.”

“Don't' just assume… I thought we were going to start at the beginning…”

“You really thought it would be that easy? Don't be naïve, Hermione. Right now, I don't think I will ever be able to forgive you.”

He knew he was hurting her but he didn't care. He was hurting too. Physically. Emotionally. He knew the soul separation would occur again tonight. He forgot to put a Silencing Charm on his room though. He must have cried out during the worst part.

He was sweating and obviously in pain. Their verbal sparring would have to wait. His eyes were slightly unfocused. He wasn't wearing his glasses and his eyes were even more green and piercing.

She hated seeing him like this.

“I want you to go away,” he whispered.

“Harry James Potter, don't you dare. I know what you're doing and it's not going to work.”

He was giving her an opening to leave him. This time if she did, she would never see him again and there would never me a them - him and her together.

He could feel a splitting headache coming on.

“Promise me you'll try.”

He didn't reply.

“I'll go and get you a Sleeping Draught,” she finally said about to stand up.

And unconsciously he caught her hand. No words were exchanged between them. She didn't sleep. She stayed with him through the night. In the morning, the warp ended. Hermione finally left Harry's bedside to make breakfast.

She stopped at the bathroom and went in. Whispering a Silencing Charm, she looked at herself in the mirror and gripped the edge of the sink. She hated the girl who looked back at her and who had brought herself to such a state. And she closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel tired. Her grip loosened. And in her mind pages those neatly-contrived romance novels leapt up in flames. The poetry of the words of love were drowned out by the cackle of flames. The ashes seemed acidic and bitter. Yet she was at peace. And slowly as she opened her eyes, she imagined the turning of new, green leaves. Slowly. One by one. Everlasting spring had come.

(A/N): You reviews always leave me in emotional turmoil. Writing Hermione in this story has been a very revealing experience. I know many of you find Hermione's behavior unforgivable. But now I ask you to feel for her. Girls are stupid. Girls make mistakes. And Hermione's willing to make up for it. When Harry screams, she runs to his side like she always has and she stays with him. Protecting him. Loving him. Understanding him. His agony is hers. And though Harry tries to hide it, her agony is his. This chapter is dedicated to all those who have ever hurt someone they loved and then sought their forgiveness.

I am sure you guys have lots to say about this chapter. I also know that sharp objects and tomatoes are going to be thrown at me because Hermione is still OOC… And the plot is dwindling… And you hate me for torturing our favorite couple… I need to shut up already…

So once again to my pack of loyal, anonymous reviewers, mathiasgranger, izzieq, alakazam, summerscent, Julesy, kasmira36, mike, ivy, mushypeas, Luni, alayneni, NicholePotter86, Kiera, Mischiefmanaged86, Jester on Fire, gingercat, Sara, tiger111991, LilytheSpitfire, Francis, awaltzforanight, harry_mione_love, Xaviel, Jill and azi.

You guys make my day. Believe me, you can definitely depend on me to frantically refresh my reviews page every two seconds…

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