Dangerous Liaisons
Summary: James and Sirius have fun ruining the lives and reputations of many girls at Hogwarts. However, James gets tired of sleeping with girls that'll do it with him the moment he starts to seduce them-he wants a challenge. He hears a rumor that one Lily Evans is saving herself for marriage (or at least true love). That's the kind of challenge he's looking for. There's just one problem: she's heard rumors about him too. Based on the movie Cruel Intentions and the book Dangerous Liaisons.
Rating: R for language, sexual themes, sensuality, and possible violence
Disclaimer: I don't own any of JK Rowling's characters or settings, nor do I own any plot elements taken from Cruel Intentions.
Chapter 1: A New Conquest
5th Year
Sirius Black lay on his back, bored out of his mind while in the school therapist's office. He was rambling on and on about how much of a changed person he was, how he would never use women again, how much Professor Larson had helped him come over his problem and shit like that. He didn't really know what he was saying; he was just saying something so that these sessions would end soon. He had better places to be and better girls to be talking to.
"I feel stupid for not knowing, for all of these years, what I could become." Sirius heard himself say. "Seriously, to think that all I've cared about before this was sex! When I could be worrying about my future life! And I can't feel sorry for myself because I'm a poor little rich boy."
"It's not your fault! Adolescence is a difficult time. And without great parenting things can go array, but you have to rise above their mistakes. Here take my book." Professor Larson replied in as motherly a voice as she could muster.
"An autographed copy? Can I keep this?" Sirius asked, feigning elation.
"It's yours." Professor Larson replied, making a mental note to bill the Blacks for the book. "You have to stop being so hard on yourself, what's in the past is over."
"You're right." Sirius replied, indomitably.
"Of course," Professor Larson confirmed.
"It's hard to believe that there was once a point in my life that all I could care about was sex." Sirius continued.
"No." Professor Larson said, disgusted, "That's no way to go through life."
"Take yourself for example. You're a very attractive woman. You have killer legs. I would love photograph them…That was the old me, I'm different now." Sirius, rambled, staring out the window at the owl heading toward the office from the distance.
"That's wonderful." Professor Larson said, trying to draw their session to a close
"Same time next week?"
"Oh! Didn't I tell you? I'm going on my book tour."
"Why?" Sirius asked, trying to act innocent and scared. What was about to happen, would hit her harder if she believed all his crap.
"Because other people need my help to." Professor Larson replied, getting somewhat annoyed with Sirius' over-eagerness. "You're going to be just fine. If you need anything, anything at all, please owl me."
"I could use a hug."
He then hugged her. Professor Larson started, but then decided to let him hug her, after all this was better than hearing him ramble on forever and ever. After all, she was making 5 Galleons an hour from this. However, when he reached down and touched her ass she pushed him away. He didn't seem to notice or care, for he was looking at a picture of Cecelia that was on her desk.
"That's a pretty girl," Sirius said, "is she your daughter?"
"Yes," Professor Larson said.
"What's her name?" Sirius asked in a falsely interested voice.
"Her name's Michelle, she's great. Straight O student, exceptionally rounded young woman. She's attending Hogwarts and is in your year. She's a Ravenclaw." Professor Larson said proudly.
"Now that's the kind of girl that I should be with," Sirius said, "We would be perfect for each other."
"No offense," Professor Larson said, taking the picture away from him, "but she's a little out of your league."
"None taken," Sirius said casually, suppressing a laugh. Sure she was, he thought, I've only slept with her what? 3 times?
"I have another patient coming in five minutes," Professor Larson said, "so I'm going to have to leave our session here for today."
"Alright," Sirius said shrugging as he walked out of the office.
After Sirius had left, Professor Larson sat back down at her desk and rolled her eyes. "Stupid boy," she muttered to herself. She had just begun to start preparing for her next patient, a boy who's parents had recently been killed by either a Death Eater when an owl flew in her window and bit her sharply in the finger.
"Ow!" she screeched, waving her now bleeding finger. The owl tried to bite her again, but she moved her hand just in time. "Settle down, settle down." She said harshly, "just let me see what you have there."
The owl calmed down and held out his leg so that she could untie the scroll of parchment. She opened the letter up, found it was from her daughter, and began to read:
MUM!
He told me he loved me and I believed him. I'm so STUPID! And when you write back don't give me any of your therapist crap. There were pictures published in the school underground magazine-NUDE pictures! He was just so charming, and all he did was say how I had killer legs, and things just got completely out of hand…
Professor Larson stopped reading there-she had to find Sirius before he went to far away. She couldn't take away house points, or give him a detention, but she could curse him so badly he'd wish he was dead.
Unfortunately for her, Sirius was already one step ahead. Seeing Michelle's owl, Tuscany, flying outside of the Professor's window, he quickly left her office, set up a tripping jinx outside her door, and stood by to watch the show.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, Professor Larson came bursting out her door, looking livid. When she saw Sirius she came running towards him, tripped over Sirius' jinx and fell flat on her face-several onlookers laughed.
"Sirius!...Sirius!...You're going to pay for this you little creep, do you hear me? You sick-o pervert, you!" She screamed angrily.
Sirius laughed heartily as somebody came up beside him.
"What's her problem?" came James Potter's voice.
Sirius shrugged. "Dunno, maybe she needs therapy." Sirius suggested.
James laughed, "No really, what'd you do to her?"
"I didn't do anything to her, personally." Sirius said, "I slept with her daughter."
"That was a challenge, I've heard that girl's as easy at it can get." James snorted.
"She was over-charging." Sirius replied shrugging.
"Don't you parents pay for your sessions?" James asked. "Something about you not completely humiliating the family…"
"Yeah, but this'll mean I don't have to go back to that dreadful woman again-she'll scrape my guts out if I do." Sirius explained, "Not that my parents would mind that, but…" Sirius trailed off.
"Oh shit!" he exclaimed, looking at his watch. "I'm late to detention with McGonagall!"
James laughed, "What'd you do?"
"Jinxed a first year in the hallway to impress Shelly McDonnell," Sirius said, "Jeez, I swear that woman gets more paranoid every year-the kid wasn't even hurt!"
James laughed, "Have fun," he said, "any clue what you're doing?"
Sirius shook his head, before sprinting off in the other direction.
.*.*.*.
James was walking down the corridor when he spotted a couple yelling and decided to see what it was about.
"What d'ya mean, you're not ready yet?" a fifth-year Ravenclaw boy called Tyler Davies, who James recognized from their Quidditch team, asked.
"Exactly that: I'm not ready yet!" said a fairly pretty girl with fiery red hair. James thought that she was in Gryffindor and that her name was Lily Evans, but he wasn't sure.
"We've been dating for a year," the Tyler exclaimed, "when are you going to be ready?"
Lily just shrugged, and turned away from him.
"What are you like saving yourself for marriage or something?" Tyler asked, smirking.
When Lily didn't answer, James knew that she was. Tyler seemed to get the picture too.
"You are?" Tyler asked, astonished. "You're seriously not going to have sex until you get married?"
"Shh, not so loud, we'll cause a scene!" Lily said.
"I don't give a damn how loud I get, I just want you to answer me Lily-and tell me the truth." He added.
"When I have ever lied to you?"
"Never, I guess," Tyler said. "But are you saving yourself for marriage?"
"Or at least true love," Lily said, feeling herself grow red. She liked Tyler a lot, yes, but she didn't think that she was truly in love with him; at least not yet.
Tyler sighed.
"Listen, I'm sorry Tyler!" Lily said, and she truly was.
"Well, if you don't truly love me, then maybe we should just break it off now." Tyler said angrily.
"I never said I didn't truly love you!"
"Oh, then what you did you say? Because I'm obviously missing something here, Lily! You're saving yourself for true love and you say you love me, but you won't have sex with me?"
"I just don't know yet…"
"We've been dating for a year, Lily. Believe me, you'd know by now." Tyler said, and with that he walked away leaving Lily crying.
.*.*.*.
That night, James, Sirius and Peter were in their dormitory, avoiding their homework, as usual. Oh well, it was only Saturday, they had until Monday to finish their homework.
"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked, tossing a whole chocolate frog into his mouth.
"He's out patrolling. They're tightening security around here now that there are more attacks by that loon." James explained. "Voldemort, or whatever his name is."
"Don't say his name!" Peter said, frightfully.
"Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!" Sirius said, terrifying Peter. He then threw his chocolate frog box at Peter's head, causing Peter to jump and scream.
"God Peter! You scream like a girl!" James said, laughing. "No wonder you're still a virgin."
"Am not!" Peter said indignantly.
"Who have you done it with then?" Sirius questioned him.
"Well, fine, I am." Peter said nervously. "Speaking of which…I was…erm…wondering if…well…err…"
"Spit it out, Peter." James said "What do you want us to do for you this time?"
"Well, erm, I was wondering if you could…err…get back at somebody for me." Peter said.
"Penelope?" James asked.
"Well, yeah. You see, I…err…walked into an empty classroom and found her snogging Zachary Parker."
"What do you want us to do, Peter?" Sirius asked.
"I dunno…sleep with her…ruin her reputation…something!" Peter exclaimed. "What d'ya say? Please James!"
"Nah!" James said, with a little more asperity than he had intended. "I'm tired of sleeping with all these easy girls that'll open up their legs for you the second you walk up to them," he explained.
"James, every girl at Hogwarts is easy!" Sirius said.
Peter snorted and muttered "For you guys."
"What do you call a challenge?" Sirius asked him, ignoring Peter's comment.
James reached into his robe pocket and pulled out the picture he'd snapped of Lily. He handed it to Sirius and Peter leaned over to get a better view.
"Who's that?" Peter asked.
"Lily Evans." James said simply.
"Hmmm…I think I've slept with her," Sirius said examining the picture.
"No you haven't," James said, "she's a virgin."
"How do you know?" Peter asked.
"I have my ways," James replied smirking. "Anyways, she's saving herself for true love."
"Good luck, mate." Sirius said grimly, opening his fifth chocolate frog.
"What about you Sirius?" Peter asked, somewhat desperately. "Can you help me?"
"Sorry mate, but I've already slept with her." Sirius said simply.
"What?" Peter asked indignantly, "You've already slept with her? When she was going out with me?"
"That's why I only slept with her once." Sirius explained "That and the fact that she was horrible."
James laughed. "Leave it Peter," he warned, "You can't take him."