Hurt Loves

Hurt Loves

Aravaeya

Chapter 4

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Disclaimer: I own none of this, and I don’t need to make any money off of this as I have enough of my own. J

I am profoundly sorry for the lack of updates. I really am!

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My mind is clouded, and I am very confused as I attend my classes. After leaving the intensely electric atmosphere of Draco’s rooms this morning to go to Transfiguration, I realized, for the first time, the impact these nightly escapades are having on me. Falling for Draco Malfoy? What rational, level-headed, academic, obedient, walking-in the right, well-behaved type of girl would let herself even consider it? I can’t believe that I even entertained the thought of starting something between us! Falling in love? With a Malfoy? A dirty, pureblood, future Death Eater Malfoy? So what if he told me some shit about not wanting to become a Death Eater? He probably has an ulterior motive! This was the boy that made my life horrible in my fourth year! This was the boy that I hexed with bat bogey curse in Umbridge’s office! How can I overlook that, even if he does seem to have changed a bit? Am I crazy? Bonkers? Without a shred of sense? Absolutely stark raving mad? Sweet Merlin I am mad! He’s probably stringing me along, having fun trying to get the good little Gryffindor into his dirty Slytherin pants! My stomach starts to churn extremely painfully.

“Miss Weasley!”

I look up in shock to see Professor McGonagall standing directly in front of my desk, wand out, and a very disapproving look on her face. I didn’t even notice her walk up. Hell, I didn’t even hear a single word that she’s said in the past fifteen minutes! What’s wrong with me? When have I ever lost it like this before? Not even Tom Riddle made me this much of an emotionally distressed wreck!

“Y-yes?” I manage to stutter out. I hate confrontations with teachers, especially with McGonagall, as she is my favorite teacher, as well as the head of my house.

“Are you feeling ill, Virginia?” she asks sternly, “Or are you not paying attention in my class on purpose?”

I swallow, suddenly feeling as if I desperately need some fresh air. “I am feeling quite ill. I’m sorry, Professor McGonagall.” I take a deep breath, attempting to calm my stomach.

Her face immediately softens. “Francesca, help Miss Weasley to Madam Pomfrey’s, please. Miss Bennet will catch you up when you return.”

Francesca immediately appears by my side, and helps me up from my seat next to Carson Underfly, an odd sort of boy who is a remarkably intelligent fifth year promoted to our class. He looks at me as if I am a pile of filth and scoots farther away. I scowl at him and then put my things away in my book bag as Francesca helps me slowly walk out of the room.

She looks at me sympathetically as we walk towards the hospital wing, and I know that I am paler than usual. I have found in my sixteen years of living that when I am in great emotional distress then I tend to make myself sick, which is probably the reason that I was sick the other night when I was with – Draco. I feel myself pale a little more as I think his name, and suddenly my stomach churns and I break away from Francesca, running purposefully into the girls’ bathroom that we passed a few yards back.

I repeat my performance of the night before, only this time it is Francesca is behind me, soothing me with gentle words, and gently brushing my hair away from my face, holding in a large ponytail of straight red hair.

“It’s all right Gin,” she whispers, rubbing a gentle circle into my back. “I’m here for you.”

I hang my head and take in deep breaths as I feel the last wave of sickness subside. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she replies, giving me a comforting smile. “Now, shall we get up to Madam Pomfrey’s?”

I nod, and with her help to lift myself up off of the floor, we are on our way once more.

Once inside the relatively empty hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey attends to me with her usual efficiency, hustling Francesca back to class, and administering a potion which immediately calms my tumultuous stomach, and one which she says will bring to me the sleep which I desperately need. She says that I am sleep deprived, and am driving myself into a state of exhaustion. Gee, I wonder why. She tells me to lie down until I feel completely rested and stable, and I do without question, lacking the energy to resist after that little stint in the bathroom, slowing letting my eyes drift close.

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I feel a hand gently squeeze mine, and I painfully crack open an eye to see Hermione seated beside me, smiling at my response to her stimulus.

“Hey sleepy,” she says, and I grin sleepily, opening the other eye. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now,” I reply, pushing myself up into a sleeping position. “How long-?”

“It’s Tuesday lunchtime,” she replies to my unfinished but quite obvious question, trying to hide a smile.

“Tuesday!” I exclaim in disbelief. I slept through the entire night? Good grief! “ No wonder I have to pee!”

Hermione laughs and I find myself laughing too but stop quickly as I realize that it increases the pressure on my bladder. Hermione senses my problem, and helps me out of bed and to the lav where I quickly relieve myself.

Once back in my bed she produces a small wrapped gift from her pocket and hands it to me. I look up at her, surprised, but she motions for me to open it. “I bought these when we were in Hogsmeade, and, um, I’d like for you to have one if you want to. It’s kind of a ‘get well soon’ present too, I suppose.”

Once I have the wrapping paper off, I see that the box inside is a medium sized jewelry box, and I open it. Inside are two necklaces that, when fit together, make a silver unicorn with a slightly jagged part down the middle, the place where they separate. On the head and upper body the word ‘best’ is engraved, and on the bottom half and tail is the word ‘friends’. They are absolutely beautiful, and I look up at Hermione with wonder in my eyes. “You bought these for us?”

She nods, looking relieved that I like them. “Choose which side you want.”

I point to the top half and she nods, so I pick it up and fasten it around my neck. She follows my lead and does the same with the bottom half. “Thank you, Hermione. They’re beautiful, really, they are.” I lean out of the bed to give my best friend a long, warm, comforting hug. I cherish the time I spend with Hermione. She’s a true rock of stability.

She smiles at me warmly. “You’re my best friend Ginny, and you deserve the best.”

I look up into her smiling face and feel happy, rested, calm, and whole for the first time since I saw – Draco. I feel my merry spirit deaden a bit at my first thought of his name since I fell asleep, but I try not to dwell on it. I’ll never get over him unless I find other things to occupy my time and energy. I have the sudden urge to take a nice long walk around the Hogwart’s grounds, and neither Hermione or I have afternoon classes on Tuesdays. “Let’s go for a walk.”

She immediately agrees and goes off to get Madam Pomfrey as I slip into the set of clothes that she’s bought me, a black turtleneck, and a pair of black jeans.

She returns with the nurse, and after proclaiming me as healthy as she can get me, I am free to go.

“Is your cloak in your dorm room?” Hermione asks as we exit the hospital wing. “It’s quite chilly outside, it’s snowing, so you’ll need it, as well as gloves, a hat, and your scarf. I promised Madam Pomfrey that I would not get you sick again.” She smiles at me warmly and I smile back.

“Yeah, I think so,” I reply, not quite remembering exactly where I put it.

We chat on the way up to Gryffindor Tower, passing Harry, who was on his way out of the Tower and going to practice Quidditch with Ron. He quickly smiled at us and congratulated me on feeling better, and then we hurried to collect our outerwear.

As we make our way back out of the castle, we bundle up against the cold air that we know is coming, and by the time we reach the Entrance Hall, we are ready. We link arms like we always do on our walks, and make our way out into the shimmery white world of Hogwarts covered in snow.

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We sit beside the Hogwart’s Lake, just gazing out over its incredible beauty as the reflecting sun plays colors along its surface. The snow has long since vanished, leaving the grounds of Hogwarts covered in a beautiful, thick blanket of powdery whit snow, untouched and picture perfect.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Gin,” Hermione says softly, putting her arm around me and giving me a little squeeze.. I smile and lean my head against her shoulder. “Harry was worried sick about you! You know how much he cares for you. He loves you as if you were his own sister.”

“Does that bother you, Hermione?” I ask, worried about what her reply will be. I’ve often wondered if Harry’s closeness and obviousness affection to me bothers her. She looks at me, puzzled, silently questioning the meaning of my inquiry. “Does the, uh, fact that he’s always hugging me and helping me and stuff bother you?”

She stares blankly at me for a moment before understanding dawns upon her face, and she chuckles. “No it doesn’t, despite what people may think. He loves you like a sister, and I can see that what you feel for him doesn’t undermine the relationship that I have with him. I have no reason to be jealous. In fact, I think that he’s amazingly sweet when he takes care of you like he does. Makes my heart go all warm and fuzzy to see it.” She smiles and hugs me a bit tighter. I feel relief flood through my body and I relax against her, feeling quite tired. I don’t think that the effects of the medicine that Madam Pomfrey gave me has worn off yet.

We sit in a companionable silence that only true best friends can share for a long time, until Hermione has to cast a lighting charm for us to see. A distant flutter of wings brings me back from my near-sleep state, and I sit up straight, rubbing the sleep from my eyes when I see that there’s an eagle owl, black as night, swooping down across the lake towards us.

It lands on my knee and I untie the parchment from the beautiful black bird’s leg, Hermione watching with interest.

I slowly unfold the paper, knowing inside exactly who it is from. Who else at school would own a black eagle owl?

You didn’t come

Those are the only words written on the small piece of parchment, and I feel my heart do a somersault and my stomach lurch painfully at the sight of the words.

Hermione reads them over my shoulder and makes a puzzled sort of snorting noise. She nudges my arm and looks at me in unguarded curiosity. “Who’s it from, Ginny?”

I shrug, not ready to tell her just yet about my escapades to Draco’s suite of rooms. She would probably have a heart attack. I think that she honestly does hate him more than Harry does, and Harry’s complete and utter loathing of the blonde Slytherin is pretty hard to match. I do not want to imagine her reaction if I ever decide to tell her. “I have no idea. Must have been meant for someone else. Never can trust hawks. Better to stick to owls.”

I chuckle softly and hope that she can’t tell that I’m lying. I just don’t think that I can tell her the truth yet. She laughs along with me and although I can tell that she’s not sure whether I am telling the truth or not, she asks me no further questions, something for which I am immensely grateful.

The sun finally slips beneath the horizon, and I yawn widely, unable to battle the wave of tiredness. She sighs beside me and starts to get up, pulling me up along with her.

“Where are we going?” I ask, glad that she’s asking no more questions about my message from Draco.

“Dinner, silly!” She laughs as she shows me her muggle watch. It’s almost 8:00 and it will undoubtedly take us at least another half an hour to get back to the castle, especially with me in this slowed down, worn out, tired state that I’m in.

We start our trek back with the moon glittering peacefully on the surface of the lake, and with the bright twinkly lights of the castle guiding us on our way home.

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PART TWO

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I am feeling much more like my usual self at dinner tonight, although I am quite tired, and I join in the fervent conversations for the first time since I started helping Draco. Francesca smiles warmly at me, leaning over the table to slip something in my hand. I look down at the pretty purple envelope in my hand and then look back up at her surprised. She smiles wider.

“Open it,” she mouths, and I gently pull the top of the envelope off of it’s sealant as everyone else continues the conversation about the Valentine’s Ball, coming in just three weeks.

Inside the envelope is a card, and I pull it out, smiling at the picture of the beautiful English garden that adorns the front. I open the card and read what is written inside.

Dear Ginny,

I am so glad that you are feeling better and are out of the hospital wing. Ron was positively sick with worry, and so were Hermione and Harry. I really thought that they were going to die from anxiety when they heard that you were in the hospital wing, especially Harry. He really cares for you.J

I missed having you in the dorm with us when I fell asleep last night, and I arranged for you to have this little present as a ‘glad you’re better’ sort of thing. It’s from Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville too.

Love always,

‘Cesca

I smile, my heart warming at her concern and at the concern of the others. I feel something else inside the envelope and slip my hand back inside, pulling out a small slip of paper.

10 Galleons

towards your next purchase

at

Flourish & Blotts Bookstore

My mind spins in delight. Ten whole galleons! I can buy the ‘Basic Guide to the Art of Healing’ by Healer Heralda Hersimos, Head Healer at St. Mungo’s! I’ve wanted it for so long!

I smile happily, and lean over the table to give Francesca a big hug, which inadvertently affords me my first view of the Slytherin table. My eyes immediately fall upon a head covered with platinum blonde hair, facing away from me. He’s sitting alone, away from the hustle and bustle and excited chatter of the rest of table, and I can’t help but to let my eyes linger on him for a moment. My hearts clenches painfully at the sight of it. It’s as though he can feel my eyes on him, because he turns around, and before I can sit back down behind the barrier that is Francesca and Ron, his eyes have caught mine. They look as if they’re questioning me, asking me what’s going on. Why am I abandoning him? Why am I avoiding him? Why didn’t come..

I close my eyes and sit down resolutely, willing myself to not be charmed back to his quarters. I do not want to get involved with him! To much is at risk!

I almost manage to convince myself.

I turn back to my dinner but find that I have no appetite, and Harry, always the observant big brother, notices my slightly flushed face and fidgety actions. He whispers something to Hermione, and then comes to sit next to me, slipping his arm around my waist and  nudging me with his shoulder.

“Want to go for a walk?” he whispers into my hair.

I smile at him, although I really would rather not go and get caught up in another ‘Draco’ fight, and nod. I can exit the hall and avoid a confrontation with Draco this way. He wouldn’t come up to me when Harry was with me.

We say our goodnights to Ron, Hermione, Francesca, and all of the other Gryffindors that we are close to, and then walk out of the hall arm-in-arm, silent, but not tense. I feel Draco’s eyes on my back the entire length of the walk, and the hairs on my neck start to tingle strangely, wishing that the studious eyes would focus on something else.

“Are you feeling better?” Harry asks softly, tightening his arm so it is securely around my waist, giving me the extra support that I need.

“Just a little tired after my walk with Hermione this afternoon,” I reply, resting my head on his shoulder. I have no idea where we’re going, and I’m not really in the mood to care. I’ll just let Harry take me wherever he wants to go.

“Do you want me to take you back to your dorm room? Go to bed?” he asks, slowing our pace slightly so that I am not as strained.

I shake my head against his shoulder, yawning slightly. “I’ll never be able to get to sleep there. Ingrid and Lena are always talking until late, and Francesca’s always giggling to me over Ron, and Brie’s just loud and obnoxious. I can never get to sleep until they’re all out, and they’ll be awake for another three or four hours at least.”

He purses his lips and nods, changing his direction. I walk along beside him, complacent and quiet. I think that he has decided to put off whatever he wanted to talk to me about until I’m a little bit better and much more lucid.

We’re standing in front of a portion of wall that I recognize, but I can’t quite remember how I know it until Harry opens the door to reveal a luxurious suite of rooms, very much like Draco’s and Hermione’s, but in luscious silvers and golds and scarlets. Of course! My mind clicks into place and I realize that we must be in the Room of Requirement, because it seems like everything in this room is tailored to be perfect for me.

“Go to bed, Gin-bug,” Harry instructs me as he helps me up onto the bed. He walks over to the dresser and grabs a black cotton camisole and some matching boy short panties for me to change into.

“Turn around, Har.” He does, and I quickly change into the provided pajamas. They’re soft and comfortable, almost exactly like a pair that I own in my real room, and I relax onto the bed.

“Are you done yet?”

“Yeah, thanks, I’m done.” Harry turns and moves my dirty robes off of the bed.

He tenderly lifts me up and pulls down the duvet, laying me back down, and tucking me back in. “Love you, Gin-bug.”

“I love you too, Harry, and I’m sorry for the fight about Draco,” I whisper, my eyes tearing up slightly at his obvious care and concern for my well-being. I am lucky to have someone as incredibly special as him as a big brother.

“We’ll take about it another time, okay?” He says. I nod and smile slightly.

He starts to leave and I reach out and grab his wrist, pulling it to my mouth so that I can lay a kiss on his palm. He smiles at me affectionately, and turns his hand in mine so that he is holding my own. He squeezes it gently and tucks a lock of my long red hair behind my ear with his other hand. “Thank you, Harry, for everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

His eyes light up with happiness as they did the last time that I told him that, about how special a big brother he is, and he drops a kiss upon my forehead before leaving.

I relax myself gradually, focusing on one muscle at a time, clearing my mind of all extraneous thoughts, and before long, I feel myself drifting into the land of deep sleep and dreams.

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My eyes drift open and I know, without a doubt, that someone is in my room. I stay still, trying to hear them move, trying to hear them breathe, and I hear nothing. But I know, without a doubt, that someone’s here.

Draco. He must be in my room. I sit up slowly, glancing around, and my eyes fall on a male figure whose head full of flaming red hair is absorbed in a book.

“Ron?” I ask, surprised and relieved that it is not Draco in my room. I am not ready for a confrontation of any sort.

He looks up, a big grin plastered on his face. “Morning, Gin!”

“W-what are you doing here?” I ask, a grin of my own blooming across my face. “How did you know that I was here?”

“Harry told me that he’d brought you here last night when you needed a quiet place to sleep. Thought I’d drop by with some breakfast,” my big brother replies, motioning towards the small, round dining table covered with steaming dishes of food.

I suddenly feel absolutely ravenous and I climb out of bed and make my way over to the table, zeroing in on the large platter of sautéed mushrooms, my absolute favorite breakfast food ever. Ron laughs at my obvious eagerness to eat and joins me at the table, dishing large mounds of food onto his own plate. Ron absolutely loves fried potatoes, and dishes himself up a hearty portion before sitting himself next to me.

“Thanks, Ron,” I say around a mouthful of egg, mushroom, and cheese omelet.

He smiles in reply, and we chat over our private breakfast, sharing a rare moment of sibling bonding. It is unusual for the two of us to ever be alone, and because we are so close in age, we  have the same group of friends, so whenever we’re together, we’re always with them.

After we’re finished eating, Ron settles in to finish his Transfiguration essay while I take shower to prepare myself for the upcoming school day, in which I have Potions and Muggle Studies. I enjoy Potions, despite the fact that Snape is the teacher, because I can see how useful it will be if I continue pursuing the field of Healing, but Muggle Studies is something that I’m taking only because Hermione and Dad said that I should. I don’t enjoy it, and it isn’t challenging enough, despite being N.E.W.T. level, to make it interesting. I get full marks on everything without even trying.

“Are you feeling better, Ginny?” Ron asks as I put on my school robes and gather my books. “Truly?”

I stop for a moment, and turn to face him smiling sincerely at him and squeezing his arm in a reassuring manner. “I am much better, Ron. It was like nothing was ever wrong with me. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

“You swear?” He looks genuinely concerned, so I wrap my arms around him in a brief hug.

“I swear!” I assure him, and he smiles at me, taking my bag from me and leading me out of the room.

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The rest of my week passes in a haze of action, what with N.E.W.T. level classes and Quidditch and everything else to do, but I am getting no better. My exhaustion seems be, if anything, worsening. I toss and turn all night long, muttering and sweating and thrashing about wildly (or so I am told). Dreams of Draco haunt me, plaguing what might have been a time of desperately needed rest and relaxation. I fell asleep in Potions, that’s how bored I was.

Indescion infests my mind, and by Friday night I feel positively riddled with guilt over my treatment of Draco. I have completely ignored him. I have deliberately been avoiding him, going out of my way to make sure that I do not meet him in the halls. I have entered and left the Great Hall only when another person is with me so that He can’t corner me, and I have sent his eagle owl empty handed back to him every single one of the times that it has come to me, bearing a letter from it’s master with the same message on it: Come.

I sit in the Charms classroom, watching disinterestedly as the rest of the students file out one by one.

“Miss Weasley?” Professor Flitwick calls out to me from on top of the pile of books that he taught today’s lesson from. I glance up, realizing for the first time that I should have left with the students that I was watching leave. I shake my head out of disgust with myself and grab my book satchel, stalking out of the classroom, angry at the feelings inside of me. I stomp into the Great Hall for dinner, by myself for once, but obviously in such a foul mood that not even Draco would risk approaching me.

Finally, I make my decision. I’ll visit him tonight. Talk to him. Try and figure out what’s going on inside me. I glance over to the Slytherin table, trying to catch a real glimpse of the platinum haired boy who plagues my every thought, and am surprised to not see it. He is always, without fail, in the Great Hall at the same time as me. He waits, I think, so that he can be in there, watching for a chance to catch me and talk to me if I happen to be alone, without my gaggle of Gryffindor guardians.

“Hey, Ginny!” a cheerful voice says from beside me. I shake all thoughts of Draco from my head and glance up at Hermione, who is seating herself next to me. “Good day?”

I give her a lopsided smile, the best that I can muster up at the present moment. “Yeah.”

She smiles and piles up lamb chops on her plate. I watch her as she begins to shovel food into her mouth at an alarmingly fast rate.

“In a hurry, Hermione?” I ask as she opens her mouth so that an exceptionally large and whole new potato will fit inside.

She half grins around her mouthful of food and nods, pointing to the door. “Library.”

My eyes drift back to Draco’s empty spot at the Slytherin table, and my stomach lurches painfully. I look at the door and make my decision.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” I say to Hermione. She nods, and I grab my cloak and leave the Great Hall, passing Harry on the way, and head for Gryffindor Tower.

I supply the Fat Lady with the password, (Liliatona), and casually make my way through the small gathering of people in the common room to the dormitories. I knick Harry’s invisibility cloak and make my way back through the common room and then to the castle library.

I settle myself into a comfy, cushy chair in a corner with a potions book and wait for the time to tick by.

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At ten o’clock, after what’s felt like hours of torture, I put the book that I’ve barely been reading back on the shelf and exit the library just before Madam Pince locks the doors. After moving away from the others exiting along with me and finding a deserted hallway, I slip the invisibility cloak around me and make my way towards Draco’s room once more.

I stand outside for a moment before taking a big breath to stabilize myself, and then I mutter the password. The door swings open and I step inside, shutting it softly behind me.

“Why do you bring me such shame?” I hear a voice roar, and I turn, still unseen because of my cloak, to face the room.

I bite back a cry of rage as I process what I see.

Draco, my Draco, is on the floor, whimpering and tear stained, once more covered in the angriest looking bruises and welts I have ever seen, scrambling as best he can away from a raging Lucius Malfoy

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Please Review. This is my first Draco/Ginny fic, and, like any other author, reviews are what make it all worth it!