A/N: Right well, obviously I'm ignoring the epilogue and a number of other things that are now supposedly canon (for me, Ron never came back to help and Harry and Hermione are the ones bidding children off, with Remus, Tonks and Malfoy *snerk* in the end). I had hopes; they were dashed for Jo apparently writes friendships better than romance, so I've decided to surrender to gleeful bitterness in revenge. Pointless really, JKR isn't going to read this, ever. As well she shouldn't, I'm not really proud of it as it's a bit rushed and badly edited, and of course, is just `cause I'm bitter.
Working on the first chapter of the now completely AU Miles Potter, age 10, Squib, should have it to you someday... soon. Had to post this though, couldn't resist. How is it possible that a character that was just mentioned in the background could steal the entire show? I only got through the story to read about Teddy. Screw Harry Potter, it's Teddy Lupin all the way.
Disclaimer: I don't want this, pfft, it's all hers. And no, I don't just hate it for the shipping.
*****
The Wisdom of Boys
.*.*.*.
"What's that?" asked the little boy with the bright turquoise hair, falling about his head in delicate ringlets. The sight should have been more shocking than it was, but with his dark twinkling eyes, slightly large nose and round face, rather turned him into a Warholian angel.
"What?" absently asked the man carrying him, his mind otherwise preoccupied with navigating the bustling and crowded Diagon Alley.
"That," repeated the boy, pointing to a shop window barely visible through the crowd to their left and almost indiscernible from the ones that framed it.
The man, who looked more like a boy himself with his messy black hair, followed the small, chubby finger to the shop and replied, "Flourish and Blotts, a bookstore, where I bought you that book last week."
"The one with Daddy and Mummy in it?" asked the boy, turning to look the man in the face. His eyes, as usual, fell to the unusual scar on his forehead, shaped like his comic book drawing of a lightening bolt, then the round-rimmed glasses and finally the vivid green eyes of his godfather.
His godfather did not look back at him, but replied, "That's the one, Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."
Still looking at him, the boy said, "You're in it too."
His godfather paused, and then said quietly, "Yes."
There was a moment then where the boy just stared at him, willing him to go on. It was a losing battle, he never did, all he spoke of were the boy's parents, which, for a five year old, was far from interesting after the first twenty times. He turned then to look back at the busy street they were wandering through and after a moment, spotted a new target straight ahead. He leaned his head back onto his godfather's shoulder and asked, "What's that?"
At once his godfather's gaze flicked ahead to the towering white building that stood directly before them at the end of the Alley. Its sides gleamed brilliantly in the glare of the summer mid-afternoon sunshine, and its bronze nameplate dazzled dangerously at all who looked to it. He replied, "The bank, Gringotts, where wizards put their money. I have some in there just for you."
Automatically the boy asked, "Did Daddy and Mummy have money for me in there too?"
His godfather's face adopted a closed expression, though for a moment something like sadness... or pain, flickered in his eyes. "I think so... but your Granny would know."
Satisfied, the boy lifted his head from his godfather's shoulder, sat silent in his arms for a moment, scanning the crowd and Alley again, and then asked, "What's that?"
He was pointing to a noisy, dirty little shop to their right now. The noise, of course, gave it away. His godfather replied at once, "The Magical Menagerie, where, if you're good, I promise to get you a cat like Aunt Hermione's."
The boy's gaze now seemed plastered to the shop's window, which was so packed with various cages that it was difficult to see within. "Like Crookshanks? Really?"
His godfather smiled. "Yes, really. I don't ever break my promises to you do I?"
The little boy looked back at his face again, and in his excitement turned his hair olive green. His godfather's smile became a laugh and he half-tossed him in the air a moment before switching his position in his arms, so that he now faced left, and asked, "How is it that you never manage to turn your hair pink? Or red?"
At once the little boy scrunched up his face as if he'd eaten something sour and said, "Pink is for girls! And the Wheezies are red. I'm not a Wheezy, I'm Teddy Remus Lupin, so my hair is-" He trailed off, thinking about this for a moment, and then turned his hair light brown. "-brown."
His godfather stopped in the middle of the street, causing the few pedestrians immediately behind them to walk into him and stumble away swearing under their breath. He ignored them though to swing his godson round to face him and ask, "I thought your hair was blue? You're not Teddy Lupin. I know Teddy Lupin and he has blue hair."
A wide pixie grin broke out on the boy's face, then he scrunched his face again, wrinkling his nose a moment, and his hair was turquoise again. "It's not blue, Uncle Harry, it's turquoise!"
Chuckling, Harry resettled Teddy against his side and began walking again through the Alley. They were supposed to meet Hermione for ice cream nearly half an hour ago, but Teddy had misplaced his shoes and then refused to leave until they'd found them. Normally his grandmother would have sent him anyway, but she'd left for work almost as soon as Harry had arrived. And unfortunately, when it came to Teddy, Harry was a pushover.
Teddy returned his attention to his game, and after a few moments, asked, "What's that?"
Harry followed his hand again and found himself now looking at Ollivander's. "That's Ollivander's, where you get your wand. It's where I got mine, and, someday, where you'll get yours."
At once Teddy swivelled round to look at him, and with his best puppy-eyed expression, asked, "Can't I get one now?"
On this Harry could not be swayed. "Because you don't need one yet. When you're eleven and ready to go to Hogwarts you'll get one, I promise."
Teddy didn't look at all pleased with this answer, but just at that moment a familiar voice called, "Hey! Harry! Teddy! Over here!"
They both stopped and turned to look to their left, the entrance of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, and standing in the doorway was Hermione. Her long brown bushy hair loose down her shoulders, she wore robes of electric blue and a weary, but happy expression on her face. Harry guessed that she'd immediately come from the Ministry for the meeting, and regretted that he didn't seem to have the power to resist his godson. She often had so little time to spare that to keep her waiting was just cruel.
Before Harry could stop him, Teddy jumped out of his arms and raced across the busy street to Hermione in the doorway. "Aunt Hermione! Aunt Hermione! Can I have a wand from `Livanders?"
Hermione looked down at him confused, and then up at Harry with an arched brow. Harry calmly walked over to them before replying, "He saw Ollivander's and wants one, I told him he can't but he won't listen."
She smiled, "And why should he? You give him everything he asks for, don't you?"
He glared at her at once, but she looked back down to Teddy and said, "At last the man of the hour is here. What flavour do you want? I promise you can have two scoops this time, and sprinkles and fruit."
The dark eyes widened and matched the colour of her robes, and then he ran to the counter with a half-yelled, "Oh boy!" The wand request was long forgotten, Harry had to love the way she had with children.
But instead of immediately following him, Hermione turned to Harry and said sadly, "Ron's moved out."
Harry's happy expression fell away in an instant, and at once he took her by the arm and guided her to the nearest table. He took a moment to look over to Teddy, up on his tiptoes trying to peer over the counter at the various flavours, and then asked, "What happened?"
"We had a fight," said Hermione casually. "We never see each other anymore. I'm always at the Ministry, he's deep in training for the Auror programme, and whenever we're together we're too tired to do anything but sleep. I can't remember the last time we went out somewhere... unless you count that pub crawl we had with you and Ginny three years ago."
Harry looked away to Teddy, who was still peering at the flavours, a little further down the counter, and drawing the attention of more than a few of the other customers. Not looking away now, he replied, "Why didn't you both just take a day together?"
"We tried to... but... I don't think we really wanted to by the time we decided to try that. I actually think we've been through for a long time now, we just both refused to see it...." At this she put her elbows unto the table and dropped her head into her hands, then exhaled heavily and said, "I really thought that we were supposed to be together. I mean, I thought I liked him, I really did, but when we were alone I just... we had almost nothing in common."
Harry, still looking at Teddy, who was now authoritatively summoning one of the attendants to place his order, scoffed, "Nothing in common? You've been friends for nearly twelve years now, you couldn't possibly have been unless you had something in common. Something you both like to do...?"
At this she gave a pained expression, and then said with disdain, "Oh we had something alright...."
"Well there you go," said Harry, finally looking away from Teddy to her and sitting back in his seat.
But to his surprise Hermione went beet-red and said, "Er... well...."
He sat up again at once and asked, "Do I really want to know what this `something' is?"
She looked up at once, and narrowed her eyes, "It's not... that, get your mind out of the gutter." Then her expression softened and she looked embarrassed again, "It's-"
Just then Teddy came charging over with his order, pistachio and butter pecan with chocolate sprinkles and apple slices in a small glass bowl and a wafer for a spoon, set it on the table and clambered up into Harry's lap. Hermione sat up away from the table and smiled. He gave her his cheekiest grin in return, and then turned to look up at Harry for a moment, before sliding the bowl down and settling into the seat beside him. Hermione said as he reached for the wafer, "Something about that looks as if you're going to be sick."
Teddy stuck the wafer into the ice cream, took out a large chunk of the already melting pistachio flavour, and stuffed it into his mouth before replying, "No. Granny always says that but it's not true, I never do. And Mrs Weasley lets me get three scoops."
"Mrs Weasley?" asked Harry. "Which one?"
"Gwanny Wheezy," replied Teddy, with his mouth full again. Then he swallowed and added, "And I get a slice of chocolate cake too."
Hermione folded her arms and looked him in the eyes, "Well unfortunately for you I'm not Mrs Weasley or Harry so that's it for you."
Teddy turned to Harry and said, "She has so much to learn."
Both Harry and Hermione burst out laughing, and Harry asked, "Oh? I'll have you know, young man, that there's not a thing in the world that our Hermione doesn't know... or wants to know. Do you know what doing? She'll never leave us alone now, not now when you've just suggested that there are things she doesn't know...."
Hermione glared at him, but Teddy shrugged. "Well that's okay. You can marry her so she doesn't have to worry about going home, and I can live with you so I can teach her."
Though Harry started laughing again, Hermione paled, then blushed, and then, when Harry noticed her reaction, pretended to gag and said, "We can't get married, we're friends... actually closer than that, we're like siblings."
Teddy stopped eating and looked up at her, "Siblings?"
"She means like brother and sister," explained Harry.
Teddy shook his head. "But you're not brother and sister, you're friends. There's no reason you can't get married, and when you do I can live with you."
At this Harry began, "Now see here, if we get married who says that I'd want you around?"
"Because I brought you two together," said Teddy, simply. "I don't do these things for free."
Hermione sunk her face into her palm and laughed, her whole body shaking silently in her mirth. Harry kicked her under the table, which earned him a glare, and then turned to Teddy and asked, "And what about Granny Andromeda? Are you just going to leave her to move in with Hermione and me? I don't think she'd like that."
Teddy seemed to ponder this for a moment, his face and eyes turned to the ceiling, and then he replied, "She can do without me for a while. I think I make her really sad... she cried when I turned my hair pink yesterday."
All mirth was immediately drained away at these words, and Harry turned to Teddy and asked seriously, "She cried?"
Hermione was quicker, "You're not making her sad. I think you make her really happy, she's just sad because she misses your Mummy and Daddy."
Teddy looked at his ice cream sourly then, before replying, "Then that's why you can be my Mummy, and Harry, my Daddy, so I won't have to remind her of them and make her sad."
"If you left I think she'd be sadder," replied Harry.
Teddy said nothing to this, just stared at his ice cream, and then at last with a sigh said, "Okay, so I'll stay with Granny. But you and Hermione still have to get married so I can teach her everything she has to learn about me and you."
Hermione interrupted, "And what makes you think that I don't know everything I need to about Harry? I happen to know him a whole lot better than you do."
He looked up at her in surprise. "Really? Better than me?" She nodded. "Better than Granny?" She nodded again. "Better than the Wheezies?"
"Which Wheezies?" Harry asked.
"All of them," said Teddy.
Hermione stammered, "W-well... I don't think I know him better than Ginny... or Ron...."
"But you just said that you know everything about him," said Teddy.
"True," said Hermione. "But Ginny's his girlfriend, so she must know him better than me. And he and Ron were friends before I was friends with him...."
"But if you know everything then don't you know him better than everyone else?" asked Teddy.
Harry decided to come to her rescue, "She actually said she knows everything she needs to know about me, not everything."
"What's the difference?" asked Teddy, turning to him.
Harry made to answer, then stopped and thought about it for a moment. Then he said, "We can't just get married, Teddy. I have a girlfriend, you know, Aunt Ginny...?"
Teddy frowned at this, and then asked, "Does she know everything about you?"
Harry again made to respond, then stopped and thought about it for a moment. A few minutes would pass too, in which Teddy would get distracted by an older girl walking by with a larger bowl of ice cream than his and Hermione would begin to look at Harry in shock, before he said, "Er... I don't think so really...."
Teddy turned to look at him, and then smirked in a manner eerily reminiscent of Sirius Black. Hermione tried to help, saying, "But that doesn't matter, she's getting to know him now. Right, Harry?"
Harry nodded quickly, a little too quickly, "Yes, she's getting to know me now; we're getting to know each other better. That's what people do in relationships before they get married."
Teddy looked unimpressed, "Aunt Hermione already knows everything about you, and you're friends. You don't have to do that with Aunt Hermione."
Aunt Hermione was looking at Harry rather suspiciously then, and when he turned to her their gazes locked. There was a moment of silent communication, which ended with Harry reddening and looking away and Hermione finally turned back to Teddy and asked, "Why is this really so important to you that Harry and me get married? We're perfectly happy being friends."
Teddy shrugged, "Granny was telling me about Mummy and Daddy once after I found a picture of Mummy looking sad and she said that Mummy was sad because Daddy had left her. I asked her why he left, didn't he like her, wasn't he her friend? She said yes she was her friend, she was his best friend and she loved him but he was too scared and so he made her sad. But he was sad too so he came back and when he did they were so happy again that they married and had me. You were looking really sad too, Aunt Hermione, like Mummy in the picture, so I thought that if you two are best friends like Mummy and Daddy, maybe if you get married you won't be."
"But I've not been sad," said Hermione, at once glancing at her reflection in the chrome napkin dispenser on the table between them.
Teddy narrowed his eyes at her and Harry laughed. When she turned to glare at him again, he said with a wink, "What, you cannot deny his logic. Maybe we should give it a go and see if it will stop making you sad."
Hermione folded her arms and arched a brow, "Do all boys firmly believe that a little snogging will make a girl happy? And what about Ginny?"
With more casualness than he intended, Harry said, "What about her? We're not joined at the hip."
Hermione's jaw dropped slightly, apparently not getting the joke. But Harry blustered on, "As a matter of fact, you know what, let's make this our first date. I'm going to buy us ice cream and then maybe we can go for a walk in the Alley, or go back to my flat to play board games for a while."
"Yes, lets!" said Teddy, lifting his hands above his head to cheer, melted ice cream dribbling down his chin.
Harry looked down at him, then took a napkin from the dispenser and wiped his chin before looking back up at Hermione and saying, "How can you refuse this face? The face of a blue-haired angel? Don't break the angel's heart, Miss Granger, first lesson of Teddy and me."
Hermione shook her head a moment, looking at the two and then smiled and said, "Fine... I want peach."
"Yay!" cheered Teddy, before going back to his ice cream.
*
In less than three weeks they would be sitting in that same cafe, without Teddy, for this was to be a real first date. They were both not welcome at the Burrow for the while and Rita Skeeter was having a field day, but neither could care less at the moment really. They were far too caught up in the frightful newness of what they were embarking upon, and pondering, when they could, the wisdom of little boys.
Fin.
-->