747 Contest Story
Letters in Love
The fire at the Burrow was dwindling. Fred and George and Harry Potter sat in front of it watching the embers ebb away whilst drinking butterbeer and cracking jokes. Fred had just told a particularly rib-cracking one involving a hag, a veela and a deluxe box of Dr Filibuster fireworks when George turned around with a very serious expression on his face.
"Right, we need to talk shop about our brother, brother," said George, "and friend of brother."
"Ah, yes," said Fred, a devious glint forming in his eye. "Little Ronniekins' birthday. I almost forgot."
"Easily done," said George. "Now, I think we should really treat him, Weasley's Wheezes style."
"I smell an Ottery up your St Catchpole, Georgie boy," said Fred. "I take it you have something deliciously devilish in mind."
"You know me, brother," said George cryptically.
"That's what I'm afraid of," said Fred. "What are you thinking about?"
"We'll leave the details to you and me," said George. "But I was hoping to rope you in, Harry, if you're game, of course."
"Game for what?" Harry asked.
"A little treat for Ron's birthday," said George.
"Just for a bit of fun," said Fred.
"Yeah, nothing that will maim him," George added.
"How about swapping some ideas?" said Fred.
"You want to know what I think?" said Harry. The twins nodded. Harry farted. They all laughed.
"But seriously," said Fred. "Are you in?"
"As long as it isn't going to be too bad," said Harry.
"It won't be," said George.
"It never is…usually," added Fred.
"Usually?" asked Harry, who was doubting this pact more every minute.
"Yeah, we give Ron a little surprise every year on his birthday," George explained.
"He'll be expecting it," said Fred. "And he'll be disappointed if we do nothing. It's something of a tradition."
"And he's usually tolerably over it within a few days."
"Or weeks."
"Apart from that time with the spider."
"But that was your fault, Fred."
"It was your idea."
"But you took the teddy-"
"Ok, ok, I'll do it," said Harry exasperatedly. "But nothing that will scar him for life, alright?"
"Actually, what I have in mind might turn out to be quite good for him," said George.
"Pray tell," said Fred, intrigued.
"Well," George began. "I think our little brother is sweet on a certain young lady at Hogwarts. Can you guess who I mean? A chocolate frog goes to the correct guesser."
"Well we can rule out Hermione Granger," said Fred, looking shrewdly at Harry, who blushed crimson. "Yes, Harry, I saw the pair of you behind the bushes at Bill's wedding."
"And what were you doing there?" asked Harry, grinning in spite of his embarrassment. "I saw you - your face locked with Katie Bell's."
"Ah, the truth outs at last!" said George triumphantly. "I've been trying to worm that from him for weeks."
"We were just admiring the lilies," said Fred, unabashed. "Then we just sort of fell together. It was France; we were at the mercy of Le Pays Romantique."
"And the weeks of letters and secret meetings before?"
"Coincidence and here say," said Fred breezily. "You can't prove anything."
"Aren't we a bit off the point, here?" said Harry.
"Right you are, Chosen One," said George. "So, we've ruled out the future Mrs Potter, and Katie Bell by the looks of things. Next guess?"
"I always thought he'd be good with old Moaning Myrtle," said Fred thoughtfully. "They have a lot of characteristics in common."
"Yes, especially their Quidditch Keeping skills," said George.
"This is your brother you're talking about," said Harry.
"We're only joking," said Fred jokingly. "Now, come on Harry, you must have a better idea than me who Ron fancies."
"He was going out with Lavender Brown for a while," said Harry suggestively.
"Nope," said George.
"Ron can't know that many girls," said Fred. "The list of potentials must be short. It must involve someone he'd really squirm to be seen with, otherwise it'd hold no fun at all. But then how can you fancy someone you'd be ashamed about? Any ideas, Harry?"
"There is one girl who half fits the description," said Harry. "But I don't think Ron fancies her."
"Who is it?" asked Fred eagerly.
"Luna Lovegood," Harry replied.
"Loony?" said Fred. "The one who's dad runs The Quibbler. It's not, is it George?"
"I think Harry deserves a Chocolate Frog for that," said George.
"You must be joking," said Fred incredulously.
"No, I said the person who guessed right would get a Frog," said George. He threw one to Harry.
"No, I mean you can't think Ron fancies her," said Fred. "Why would you?"
"The fact he hasn't shut up about her since he's been here for a start," said George. "It's `Luna said this' and `Luna did that' and `it was so funny when Luna' blah, blah, blah. Haven't you heard him? Oh, then again, you probably couldn't hear anything over the scratching of your quill to those coincidence letters."
Fred threw his cushion at George who ducked to avoid it.
"I have to agree with Fred here," said Harry. "I don't think you're right about this."
"Really?" said George, who seemed by no means put off. "Did you see them dance at the wedding?"
"No," said Fred and Harry together.
"You didn't?"
"We were too busy," they chorused again.
George tutted. "Of course. Well they danced. Twice. Slow dances as well, mind you. There was something there."
"And how does this fit in with your plan?" asked Fred.
"Here's the thing - there's a classic prank where you take two people and you send love letters to them as if they've been written by the other person. You arrange a meet up time and they both go, thinking the other has invited them there. When they get there they realise they've been duped and it's done. It's all very funny."
"No, I don't think I like that," said Harry. "I quite like Luna and that'd be cruel on her. I don't want you doing anything that makes fun of her."
"Ah, but this is where we are unique," said George. "Now if I'm right and Ron likes Luna, and if I'm right that she likes him back, they will both be able to admit it to each other there and then. And if I'm wrong then they'll just be embarrassed for a while then forget all about it. Don't look like that, Harry, I'm sure about this. No, seriously, don't look at me like that - you'd scare You-Know-Who with that stare, and I'm just little old me."
"Ok, I'll go along with it," said Harry reluctantly. "But if I get so much as a whiff that this is to use Luna because she's different I swear on my parent's graves that I will turn you into something unnatural."
As much as Harry disliked George's plan he couldn't escape the feeling that the idea had its merits. He'd never considered the possibility before but the more he did now, the more he liked it. He had developed a certain fondness for Luna and her off-centre ways recently and she struck him as the kind of girl who'd be good for Ron. Someone who, as Harry for the first time realised, was probably more interested in him than his `Boy Who Lived' best friend.
Harry went to bed that night leaving Fred and George to hammer out all the finer details. The content of the letters was the biggest cause for consideration; they had to sound like the people who were supposed to have written them. Harry thought it was a little unfair that the twins thought Ron's letter would be crude and disgusting, with lewd references to moons and his wand being magic.
Not long after breakfast the next day, Harry was cornered by the twins and ushered out of the de-gnoming that was going on, under the pretence of going to buy ice creams for everyone from the village. They had just reached the crown of Stoatshead Hill when the twins burst into talk, sharing the decisions they had come to during the night.
"We've decided to do it as soon as possible," Fred began.
"His birthday is in two days so it has to be arranged for then," added George.
"Which means the letters have to go out as soon as possible."
"We thought that Hogwarts was the best place to meet."
"As Luna is still in school," said Fred.
"And we can use one of the school owls to make it all look genuine," said George.
"Only you're going to have to go there and do it, Harry, as technically you're still in school too."
"Oh - and you have to write Luna's letter."
"What?" cried Harry.
"You know her better," said Fred. "We tried writing one but we sounded too normal. You know how she talks; it'll seem more real if you do it."
"No way, I'm not doing that," said Harry.
"You agreed," said George. "You're part of the pact. Besides, you'll be nicer than we would. We know what Ron's like, we could do a pretty good impression of him, but we're stumped with Luna."
"Come on, Harry, think of all the good it could do."
"I'm more worried about the bad," said Harry.
"Think of it this way, Harry," said Fred. "We're going to do it anyway. You can either help us, and make it seem like she fancies him, or we do it and do a bad job."
"It's really your choice," said George.
"It doesn't look like I actually have a choice, does it?" said Harry bitterly.
"That's the spirit," said Fred. "Now, we think you'd better get started on it as soon as possible…"
It wasn't long before Harry realised just how difficult a hole he'd dug himself in to. Too annoyed for company when he and the twins returned to the Burrow, Harry shut himself away to concentrate on his letter. This wasn't an unusual thing; since his confrontations with the Death Eaters and the Horcrux search had begun he was often found to be locked away alone or disappearing at all hours of the day or night. That cover came in handy now.
The reason was that this task seemed equally as difficult to finding any of the Horcruxes. Harry sat by the hour at the desk in Ron's room, quill in hand, wondering how on Earth to sound like Luna.
"Think like Luna, think like Luna," Harry thought. But nothing came to him. "She's a girl, think like a girl."
But he couldn't. To think like a girl he needed a point of reference, a girl's mind. For a girl's mind he needed -
"Hermione, I really need your help."
"Harry, this is hardly appropriate," said Hermione. She had poked her head around the shower curtain and was wearing a green shower cup covered in soap. Harry struggled not to laugh.
"It is the Prefects bathroom and I am Head Boy," said Harry.
"But what will people say if they see you in here?" Hermione squealed.
"Embarrassed to be seen with me, are you?" Harry teased.
"When I'm in a public shower, then yes," said Hermione smirking. "Just give me five minutes, will you?"
Harry acquiesced and waited outside, which afforded him yet more strange looks. When Hermione emerged a few minutes later, her hair still glistening, Harry suggested a walk around the lake. Hermione grabbed some toast from the Great Hall (where breakfast was nearly over) and they made their way outside. Harry spoke at length about the twins' plan, his own part in it and the struggles he found himself under. When Hermione finally spoke her response stunned Harry.
"That could actually work," she said thoughtfully. "If it's done right…if they meet somewhere romantic, like the top of the astronomy tower on a clear night…hmmm"
"Me and you met on top of the astronomy tower," said Harry. "Won't it be weird if we send Ron and Luna there?"
"We also met in the Forbidden Forest, the Chamber of Secrets and Hagrid's pumpkin patch," Hermione pointed out. "But I don't think they're quite ready for that."
"So you actually think they might like each other?" asked Harry.
"Luna certainly likes Ron," said Hermione. "I'd bet my New Theory of Numerology on it. We just have to hope Ron's worthy of her; you know how he has the emotional range of the contents of a cutlery drawer."
"But I have to write a letter like Luna," said Harry. "How in the world can I manage that?"
"I know just the thing," said Hermione. "We just need a sample of Luna's hair, a cauldron and some bits and pieces. I'll get them, you get the hair."
"How exactly?"
"I bet if you ask, she'll give it to you," said Hermione. "Make up the wildest, craziest story you can and she'll hand it over eagerly. She's good like that."
So Hermione shot off to the potions store while Harry hunted Luna like a Crumple Horned Snorkack. He tracked her down just coming out of Charms, humming a tune that Harry knew but just couldn't place.
"Luna! Hey, Luna!" said Harry.
"Oh, hello," she said in wide-eyed amazement as some girls nearby looked on, shocked. "Are you back in school now?"
"No, not really," said Harry. "Look, can I borrow you a minute?"
"I actually need myself," said Luna serenely. "I have to get to class, you know."
"Okay, I'll cut to it," said Harry. "This is going to sound weird but I really need a lock of your hair."
"My hair?" asked Luna. "Why?"
"I, er, just need a blonde hair for a…for a, um, a potion I'm making," said Harry stupidly.
"Ooh," said Luna excitedly. "Is it to do with You-Know-Who?"
"Yeah," said Harry. He felt an awful chill at lying to Luna's innocent expression.
"Are you making a Golden Hoop?" she asked. "And you need a golden hair to dye the lead? I've read about them."
"Yeah, that's it," said Harry glumly.
"Okay then," said Luna. She reached up and plucked a long golden strand from her head. "Here you go. Good luck. I have to go now."
"Thanks, Luna," said Harry. "See you later."
She smiled and turned away down the corridor. Harry trouped to the Potions room where Hermione already had a fire bubbling away.
"Did you get it?" she asked as Harry entered.
"Yeah," said Harry gloomily. "But I'll kill Fred and George. I felt really bad doing it."
"It'll be okay in the end," said Hermione adding the hair. It sparkled in the cauldron then vanished.
"What exactly are you doing?" asked Harry.
"I saw this spell in Moste Potente Potions," said Hermione. "They use it to make anti-cheating quills and self-writing quills, like the ones Fred and George sell. Only this version makes a quill that writes like someone else. There's a bit of the Polyjuice idea in here. In this case, it will make a quill that writes like Luna."
"And you came up with this yourself?" asked Harry.
"Well, yes," said Hermione, blushing under the awestruck look on Harry's face.
"Sometimes you're quite scary," said Harry admiringly.
Once the mixture was ready a quill was added which absorbed the whole thing. It cooled and set within a few minutes and Harry wasted no time in pulling out a sheet of parchment and balancing the new quill on top of it. For a moment he and Hermione simply looked at it.
"Tell it what to write, then," said Hermione.
"Er - write a love letter to Ron Weasley," said Harry. He had a fleeting fear that the quill would malfunction and write to Roonil Wazlib instead, but he felt a surge of pride at Hermione's abilities when the quill jumped into the air and started writing with almost indecent abandon. It wrote half a sheet in barely a few minutes.
"I guess she really does like him," said Hermione. "Look how fast she's going."
The quill was shooting across the parchment at some pace, When it was done, Harry told it to write an invitation to the astronomy tower on Ron's birthday night. It did and added a few kisses at the end. Harry and Hermione read over it, marvelling at how bizarre and how accurate it was. It was indeed as if she'd written it herself.
They sent it out straight away with handsome tawny owl. All that remained was to wait. Hedwig turned up with a letter for Luna the next day and Harry and Hermione watched with amazement as Luna opened it in the Great Hall. Harry had never seen her blush before but the look of sheer elation as she read again and again lit up her face so much that she seemed to give off her own light.
"This better work," said Harry. "If she's disappointed after looking like that I'll never forgive myself."
He and Hermione took up their positions the next night under the invisibility cloak on the astronomy tower, wondering what was going to happen. At around ten o'clock they heard footsteps on the stairs and Ron came around the corner and onto the parapet. Harry was pleased that he'd come at all, but even more pleased to see that he was disappointed that Luna wasn't yet there.
He didn't have to wait long. She appeared almost silently, taking all three people there by surprise. She was wearing a pretty white dress and Harry grinned as he saw that she was still carrying her letter. Ron and Luna met each other's gaze and both smiled.
"I, er, got your letter," said Ron. "I hope you like what I wrote back."
Harry and Hermione looked at each other in amazement.
"He wrote back?" Hermione whispered. "Not the twins? This is too perfect. Let's go."
And they crept away, leaving the new lovers alone to the night…and each other.
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