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Something to Talk About by MeiQueen

Something to Talk About



Something to Talk About

Mei Queen


Summary: When Ginny keeps getting disturbingly harassed, she goes to the one person at the centre of all Hogwarts mischief and malice- Draco Malfoy. While, strangely, he knows nothing about the harassment, he makes a deal to protect her in exchange for something of hers. When Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley begin to hang out constantly, the school not knowing Draco's position as her bodyguard, they give Hogwarts something to talk about. For Draco's payment, and in an effort to discourage her psychotic stalker, Ginny is more than willing to give people the impression that she's dating the school's most badass occupant-she just didn't expect to fall for him in the charade.


Authoress' Note: Does not follow HP7. It's sort of like my other fic Hot Gimmick, but this plot is mine.


Chapter 1: Deal or No Deal


Ginny Weasley's fierce shriek pierced the cool stillness of the night air. It was close to midnight on Saturday evening, and her shriek woke the peaceful slumber of the other girls in her sixth year Gryffindor dormitory.

"What's wrong?" Olivia Larson asked blearily, rubbing her eyes out of exhaustion. "It's late. Go to bed, Gin."

"What the hell," Ginny began, her face a ghastly white and her arm shaking as she pointed toward her bed, "is that?!"

Olivia looked over, following Ginny's pointed finger. Spread on the scarlet bedspread of Ginevra Weasley's four-poster bed were…


Not your average garter snakes. No. These were huge…silent, slithering, ridiculously large serpents.

Olivia's shriek had woken the rest of the dorm, and now all of them were standing on Olivia's bed, in fear that some of the snakes might slither off of Ginny's bed onto the ground. That was the strange part-the snakes were only on Ginny's bed.

Ginny's chocolate eyes widened breathlessly as she took in all the snakes slithering between her sheets, on her pillows, around her bedspread, and came to a realization: "Those snakes were meant for me."

Then another, harder, realization hit. There had been a scorpion loose on the floor last week, and a few large spiders the week before that. Ginny had just assumed, since the creatures were scurrying in the middle of the floor, that they were the result of some bad first year transfiguration practice in the common room, transfiguration practice that had just happened to wander into the sixth year girls' dorm. But this time, a multitude of snakes, all deliberately set in her bed, that sign was obvious. And it was impossible to ignore. Ginny felt her heartbeat quicken as she whispered, "Somebody's got it in… for me."


"So McGonagall didn't do anything?" Olivia asked in horror, listening as Ginny relayed her tale at breakfast on Monday morning. Ginny had gone to McGonagall promptly Sunday morning after an uncomfortable evening her entire dorm spent trying to sleep in the common room (Olivia had claimed the couch, leaving Ginny to try to make the floor as comfortable as possible).

Ginny sighed, dipping her spoon into her porridge. "Nope, nothing. It's not like she knows who did it, so she can't punish anyone. Meanwhile, she just advises that we lock our door and windows from now on."

"That's it?" Blythe Roberts muttered, absentmindedly shredding her waffle into smaller pieces. "That's a lot of good. It's not like we're surrounded by wizards or anything," she said, snorting with laughter, her green eyes lighting up with amusement. "Of course, nobody at Hogwarts would use 'Alohomora' if they stumbled across a locked door!"

Olivia rolled her turquoise eyes in response. "I know that, you know that, Gin knows that…but McGonagall probably can't promise anything else. It's not like she doesn't have enough on her mind nowadays, what with Snape to watch over and Death Eaters to worry about. We're probably lucky all we got was snakes and not a Lethifold or something."

Blythe nodded mutely, running her hands through her shoulder-length brown mane. "Sad, but true. Hey, do you think the snakes are a sign?"

"Slytherin?" Ginny asked, nodding. "Yeah, I thought of that…but then, why would someone want to incriminate themselves by using their House's animal?"

"Well," Olivia said logically, "It's not like ravens or badgers are very frightening, are they? Besides, if it was a Slytherin, which I wouldn't be surprised if it was, they're not exactly known for their ability to think things through to perfection. Remember Malfoy's half-baked scheme last year?"

"The Vanishing Cabinets?" Colin Creevey asked, listening in on the conversation and scooting down the bench to join in. "Yeah, I know. Total crap. I guess it was enough to get rid of Dumbledore…and you think that alone would be enough to expel someone, but obviously when you're got big friends like Malfoy," he muttered, casting a dark look in the region of the Slytherin table as he finished.

"We know," Ginny replied, sighing. "I don't like that he's here any more than you all do. He makes fun of me twice as much as he did when Harry, Ron, and Hermione were here. It's like he feels he has to make up for all the ridicule he gave them with just me alone!"

"But then," Olivia said thoughtfully, twirling a strand of her blonde hair around her index finger, "he could be useful."

Ginny snorted with disbelief. "Somehow I doubt that, Liv. This is Malfoy we're talking about. I don't know if he's been useful a day in his life. Hell, he probably doesn't even know what the word means."

Olivia shook her head. Staring at Ginny meaningfully, she said simply, "That's not what I meant."


"You want me to tell Malfoy what?" Ginny asked in indignation on the way to Charms. Ginny, for the most part, was used to the half-baked schemes her friends came up with. The schemes were traditional, even amusing, at times. But this, this was just ridiculous. She refused to go to a Malfoy and ask for help, especially for something like this, something that made her feel so vulnerable.

Olivia put her hand to her hip defensively. "Hey. It's a good idea. He knows everything bad that goes on at this school, since ninety percent of the time he's at the root of it. He can help you figure out who's doing it!"

It was bad enough that someone in the school wanted her to be bit by snakes and terrorized…but she would rather take the terrorizing animals than voluntary time spent with a terrorizing Malfoy. Merlin, now that she actually thought about it, it could be Malfoy.

"But that's exactly why you should do it!" Blythe insisted, when Ginny voiced that very concern.

The redhead raised her eyebrows. "Don't follow."

"Well," Blythe replied, "This way, if the stalker strikes while Malfoy is helping you, you'll know that it isn't him!"

"You know it's not him now," Luna Lovegood said dreamily, walking by and joining in their conversation.

"Well, excuse you," Olivia muttered snottily.

Ginny gave her a look, before replying politely to Luna. "How would I know that, Luna?"

"Well," Luna said reasonably, "men can't go up to the girls' dormitories. Haven't you said that before?"

Blythe smiled. "Oh. Fair point. So maybe it's a female Slytherin, then."

"He could still be having a girl take the stuff up there," Olivia said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance before hurrying off to Charms.

"Don't pay her any mind," Ginny whispered to Luna. "She's deathly afraid of snakes. I think she's still a little traumatized from this weekend. I'm kind of worried that she blames me for it, actually."

"It's not like you can control what lunatics place menageries in our dorm," Blythe retorted sarcastically, looking angrily where Olivia had recently walked.

Luna nodded. "But people aren't reasonable, Blythe. She just wants to blame whomever she can right now, Ginny, I wouldn't take it personally."

Ginny sighed. It was bad enough that she was frightened to go back to her own dorm at night for fear of what might be waiting in her bed at night, but the thought of her own dorm-mate waiting to yell at her was too much for Ginny Weasley to take.


Ginny sighed. Charms had been a long lesson. Today they had been working on Cheering Charms with the Ravenclaws. She was paired with Luna, and for some reason, Luna's spells were a little wonky. Maybe it was her wand, but Luna's spells were taking the exact opposite effect of what they were supposed to be doing. All in all, Ginny left the class in dire need of a Pepper-Up Potion…or a shot of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey.

It was in this depressed mood as she walked across the courtyard, that she ran into Draco Malfoy and his cronies. "Ran into" being the operative words, as her ill-fitting shoes mixed with a long hemline and a loose cobblestone equals Ginny Weasley at the feet of Malfoy.

"Look, boys, we've found our little weasel," Draco drawled with his trademark smirk, addressing his two friends (though they were really more lackeys or henchmen, in all honesty), Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

Ginny looked up, livid, from the ground. She had tripped, and now the contents of her bag had spilled everywhere. She looked despairingly at the hem of her robes, still a good inch or two longer than would have been really safe, and groaned. Draco certainly didn't show any sign of planning on helping her out, so she sighed and grudgingly began to re-pack her stuff, listening to the boys' cruel commentary.

"She looks runty. Her family can't even afford proper robes; it's not a surprise they can't feed her."

"She really is small, Draco. Especially in…certain areas."

"I bet she's a cat in bed, though. It's always the quiet ones you have to worry about."

The last remark was said by Goyle, to which Draco snorted in derision. "There is no way she is going to be breathing my air, let alone mussing my sheets, Goyle."

While the boys chortled in laughter, Ginny felt her face getting warm. Her blood felt like it was on fire. Every bit of her was tingling with anger. She was furious with the way she had been treated in the past week-she was used to Malfoy's teasing to a certain extent, but the entire contents of the bloody Forbidden Forest waiting between her sheets was putting her a bit on edge. Plus, her neck still had an awful crick in it from sleeping on the floor of the common room. Throwing her last quill back into her bag, she stood resolutely a few centimetres in front of Malfoy.

"I'm breathing your air right now, Malfoy. What are you gonna do about it?"

He carefully regarded the petite, spunky redhead in front of him, as if judging her worthiness as a competitor. It was really rare that anyone dared to challenge Draco, and when they did, it was usually half-hearted attempts. Ginny Weasley was a breath of fresh air, as much as the youngest Malfoy was loath to admit it.

"What do you want me to do about it, Weasel?"

Ginny wrinkled her nose at the name. She hated being called that.

"Ugh. Nothing, ferret. Forget I said anything." Turning away, the slender sixteen-year-old shouldered her bag and turned to walk away.

"Hold it, Red."

"Why should I?" Ginny turned and planted a hand resolutely on her hip.

"I want you to say what you wanted to say," Draco said menacingly, advancing towards her. "Well? Out with it."

The redhead surprised them both when she expelled a deep breath, practically whispering, "I need your help."

Draco's eyes narrowed. She couldn't have said what I thought she said. There's no way. "Sorry?"

"I need your help," Ginny retorted, louder this time. She crossed her arms and waited, steeled against the aftermath sure to come from a Weasley asking a Malfoy for his assistance.

Draco's eyes bugged. He honestly did not know what to say. Out of all the things the Weaselette could have said to him, this was definitely the one thing he was unprepared for. Turning away from her and getting ready to head to the dungeons for Potions, he murmured softly, "Well, that sucks for you, Weasley. I have no reason to help you."

She sighed. "I guess you're right. Pity. I was going to make you a deal."

He turned quickly. "What type of terms?"


Malfoy had waved away Crabbe and Goyle close to twenty minutes ago, and was sitting in a desolate area of the courtyard talking to Ginny. He was intrigued by what she was telling him-he had no idea who might be doing it, but he would like to find them and give them a warm pat on the back for their Gryffindor-terrorizing style. "So," he summarized, "someone has been placing creatures in your room for a few weeks, and you want me to help you figure out who's doing it, and help you get them to stop."

"Yes," Ginny said, nodding, "that pretty much sums it up."

"What do I get for this?"

The redhead shrugged tiredly. "Honestly, I don't care. Whatever you want. I just want to be able to sleep in my bed again. We have midterms coming up soon, and I haven't had a full nights' sleep in weeks…"

Draco looked grimly at the dark circles under her eyes and her pasty skin tone. "I can tell."

Ginny snorted. "You're such a gentleman."

He puffed out his chest in response. "I can be. But I prefer to only use my manners when the audience merits it."

She rolled her eyes, tired by now of his pompous attitude. "So, basically, you don't think I'm good enough to deserve common courtesy."

"Yeah, more or less."


Ginny walked away from the meeting with Malfoy still unsure as to what his terms of their deal would be. He hadn't been able to give her an answer, but he promised to find her in the halls or owl her in the next few days. She yawned, trudging up to Gryffindor tower after her classes were over. She was ready for a nap. Honestly, Ginny felt like she could do without supper, so long as she finally got some quality sleep.

Her heartbeat sped up when she approached the dorm door, the door she and the girls had so carefully locked when they got their books after lunch. It was open.


She silently removed her wand from her bag, flattening her body against the wall so whoever was in the dorm wouldn't see her approach. She was hoping to catch them in the act, and hopefully give them a nice taste of her characteristic Bat-Bogey Hex before taking them to McGonagall.

Carefully peeking through the open doorway, she immediately saw that the room was deserted, except for a medium-size package in the centre of the room. Wrapped in Slytherin colors, the package had green wrapping paper and silver ribbon.

Ginny's eyebrows rose in confusion. What in the world? Should I open it? Malfoy still isn't helping me, so it's not like I can owl him about this… I guess it would be best to just open it and get it over with. Maybe it's like a Howler-the sooner you open it, the better.

Cautiously approaching the package, she ripped off the wrapping, only to be faced with-Harry dying. Then it switched-Ron was dead. Then her mother. Her father. Bill. Charlie. The twins. Hermione. Luna. Olivia. Blythe.

Then, strangely, Draco Malfoy joined the string of bloody corpses.

Ginny remembered finding that slightly odd, at least before she fell onto the floor in a dead faint.


When she opened her eyes again, she was surrounded by blinding white. The Hospital Wing, she processed slowly, noting Madam Pomfrey in the corner of the room, and Blythe, Luna, and Olivia at her side.

Blythe was the first to notice that Ginny was awake. "Oh my God, we were so worried! Are you okay?"

Ginny tried to shake off the exhaustion clouding her thoughts. "I think so, I'm just really tired. What happened?"

Olivia shrugged. "We don't know. We went into the dorm, and you were passed out on the floor with a boggart hovering around you."

"That was a boggart?" Ginny groaned. "Merlin, I feel like an idiot now. I just got so caught off guard, it came in this package and I didn't know what to expect inside it or anything…"

Luna raised an eyebrow in amusement. "You're telling me that somebody gift-wrapped a boggart. This is good stuff, Dad might even be interested in this type of thing for the Quibbler."

Ginny nodded. "They even made it really pretty, too. All Slytherin colours."

Blythe's eyebrows knotted in concentration. "It sure seems like someone is trying to lead us on a Slytherin theme here. But why? Why would an actual Slytherin incriminate themselves? Do you think it's someone trying to pin it on the Slytherins?"

"I don't know," Ginny replied honestly, leaning back against her pillows in exhaustion. "But whoever it is, they'll rue the day they messed with a Weasley."


Ginny was still in the Hospital Wing, napping, when she heard the door close at the end of the corridor. Olivia, Luna, and Blythe had all left close to two hours ago, so Ginny knew it wasn't one of them, and there was nobody else resting in the wing, so it had to be a visitor for her.

Exhaustedly opening one eye, she was surprised to see Draco Malfoy standing at the edge of her bed, fidgeting nervously.

"Hi," she croaked, sitting up against the pillows, hoping that her hair wasn't too matted and frightening.

"Hello," he replied, sitting on the bed next to hers. "I heard about the boggart in your dorm. Are you doing better?"

She snorted. "What, Malfoy? You're not going to ridicule me for letting a simple boggart get the best of me? Not feeling your biting self today, are you?"

He shook his head. "It's hard with boggarts. It all depends on what you fear-I remember Potter's boggart was terrifying, just because it was a dementor…basically fear itself. Huge snakes, mummies…those are less frightening. You, well, you worry for those that you love, one of the most reasonable fears in existence, especially during a war. That's what my boggart turns into, too. My mum."

Ginny's eyes widened at Malfoy's uncharacteristic sharing of information, indeed, it seemed that he had forgotten he was actually speaking with anyone in particular. He was staring dreamily off into space, obviously thinking of prior boggarts. Ginny wondered if You-Know-Who had directly threatened Narcissa's life…she wouldn't be surprised, it would certainly be an easy way to hurry the young Malfoy into servitude.

Shaking off his personal demons, Malfoy refocused his eyes on Ginny. "I came here to tell you that I'll help you. I know the tactic this person is using, and I have a feeling that they'll only get more audacious with the things they stick in your dorm from now on, so you need help as soon as possible. It's cat-and-mouse. They're trying to intimidate you as much as physically possible, well, before they…"

He trailed off, unwilling to form the words.

Ginny's eyes widened. "Before they what?"

"Before they get tired of playing with their food like my Aunt Bellatrix," Draco whispered darkly.

Ginny's face paled in response. "Oh, dear Merlin. If I make it through this, I will kill whoever did this."

Draco snorted. "Please. I'm a Malfoy, and I know-Weasleys don't kill."

"Well," the redhead replied, unwilling to admit that he was right, "I'd sure be damned close in this case. I'd at least give them a good dose of my Bat-Bogey Hex."

"That seems fair," Malfoy replied with a slight chuckle.

Ginny smiled in reply, her eyes meeting his. She had one final question to ask. "Hey, why are you helping me? What are you getting out of this?"

Draco turned to her, looking at his hands with nervousness apparent in his features. It was obvious that, whatever he was about to say, he was very uncomfortable saying it. "Look, Pansy Parkinson has been bugging me to marry her for as long as I can remember."

"Long as I can remember, too," Ginny pointed out, giggling.

"Yeah," he replied, his voice steely and irritated. "Well, I need to do something that would…get it through to her. I need to get the message across that I'm not interested. I've tried everything, and there's always been one thing I was thinking about trying if things got completely desperate. I didn't think I would ever need to, and didn't bother trying to figure out how I would…but since you've basically dropped this open-ended offer in my lap, it works nicely."

Ginny's face paled nervously. "Oh, Merlin, please tell me I'm not going to have to do anything illegal."

Draco chuckled hollowly. "Nope, nothing illegal…just a little acting. I told Parkinson I would rather date a Weasley than her. She thought I was kidding. I told her that I was quite deathly serious, and she wouldn't believe it. She said that you would never date me, and would believe when she sees it. Well, Weasel, I need her to see it. And damnit, I need it to be believable."


Authoress' Note (Take Two): Please review!!