Saturday, October 3
Approximately 3:42pm
Lily Evans tried to think of a way to explain it. Really, she did. Maybe a lie would work. But how could she make a believable lie? There was no way Professor McGonagall would fall for anything involving a banjo, Mrs. Johnson, and a Ford Anglia.
She was going to be in so much trouble. She just knew it. This day couldn't get any worse. Well… it could, but Lily doubted that she would see Potter again. He usually made himself scarce after she turned him down for a date more than twice in one day.
This entire thing was Potter's fault, anyway. If she hadn't made that stupid bet with Alice… Maybe she could arrange for Alice to get the blame.
Lilly slid to the ground, back pressed against the cool stone of the dungeons. She moved back, banging her head against the wall.
She couldn't do that to Alice. Even if this was because of that bet, she couldn't do that to her best friend.
Sniffling, Lily fought the urge to cry. She was going to be in so much trouble. This stunt was going to get her expelled-or worse, removed from her position as Head Girl.
Thursday, October 1
Approximately 8pm
"They are so immature," muttered Lily.
"They're not that bad," said Alice, "if you take the time to get to know them."
"You only say that because you fancy Remus."
Alice looked down at her text book. "I do not! I'm very happy with Frank."
"Uh huh, just keep telling yourself that." Lily curled up in her armchair. "Denial does not change the fact that you fancy Remus."
"You're just saying that because you're unwilling to admit that you fancy James," Alice said in a teasing sort of voice.
"That is ridiculous," hissed Lily, glancing at the other side of the Common Room to make sure that the boy in question had not heard them.
Sirius was making some sort of potion that crackled ominously while Potter read something from a text out loud. Remus appeared to be writing something. Judging by the book, it was their essay on animal to inanimate object transfiguration and the morality of such transfigurations. Peter was asleep, his head on a book.
"Oh come on, everybody knows you and James are destined for each other."
"We are not! And I'd appreciate it if you would stop gossiping about such garbage."
"Which is why you are the first to reprimand James for breaking the rules. In all the time we've been at Hogwarts, no matter what the prank, James is always first on your list of suspects. I don't think you've even bothered to take points from anybody other than James since becoming a Prefect."
"But Potter is always behind that sort of thing."
"Riiiight, because Sirius and Remus would never ever, ever pull a prank without their fearless leader," said Alice, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Lily glared at her friend.
"Sometimes I think you need to loosen up. Give the boys a break, play a prank, go on a date, stop taking your role as Head Girl so seriously. Something. Anything."
"I am not that-"
Lily's voice was cut off by the sound of an explosion. Turning, Lily resisted the urge to scream. Every single night! Couldn't those stupid Marauders take one night off!?
Everything within a ten foot radius of the cauldron Sirius had been mixing was covered in purple and pink goop with gold streamers and silver sparkles. Several of the younger years seemed to be having trouble removing themselves from their seat or the person next to them.
Remus had his head in his hand and appeared to be mumbling under his breath as Potter and Sirius high fived each other, only to have their hands stick together. Peter was trying unsuccessfully to remove his head from the book. Or was it the book from the table? Lily wasn't really sure which.
"I'll be right back," said Lily. "I need to go deal with this."
A couple evanescos vanished the substance covering several chairs, a couch, nine students, and a cat. Lily left the Marauders for last, trying to decide how best to handle this. Especially since one of the people responsible for this was the Head Boy.
Lily paused as a streamer fell on her face. Brushing it away, she looked up. A boy Lily faintly recognized as a first year was stuck to the ceiling, streamers hanging from his nose.
With a sigh Lily said, "Evanesco." Before the boy could fall far, she cried out, "Locomotor Will." She gently lowered him to the ground.
Satisfied that all the other students were free of the goop, Lily continued to stalk toward the quartet. How could Potter have something so irresponsible? So stupid? So utterly… him?
"Potter, you're Head Boy," snapped Lily. "You're supposed to be showing a good example!"
Potter mumbled something Lily could barely hear. Apparently he was unable to open his mouth because of the goop.
Her eyes narrowed. "Not this sort of example. If somebody who didn't know what they were doing tried to follow your example they could seriously injure themselves or others."
Lily heard him mumble something else. She gritted her teeth.
"I am not too uptight!"
Another mutter.
"I will not go out on a date with you! You're so conceited! Do you think that I'm supposed to fall at your feet just because you asked me out? I don't think so!"
Potter smirked. It took Lily several moments to decipher what he meant by the mumble.
Forgetting that there was still goop on the floor, Lily stepped forward. Drawing her hand back, she slapped Potter.
"How dare you!"
Lily's eye's widened. Dropping her wand she attempted to pull her hand from his face, only succeeding in pulling him, and Sirius closer. Lily twisted, trying to get away from the bane of her existence. With a shriek she fell against the goop covered table.
"Bloody hell!"
Unable to keep his balance, James fell against Lily, knocking the breath out of her lungs. Sirius landed against the table to Lily's right.
Lily glanced at Sirius, then glared at Potter. She couldn't keep the blush from her face. Potter was glued to her from upper chest to hips. His right leg was between her own legs and his right hand connected to the table to her left. She was trapped between Potter and Sirius.
"You're going to pay for this," she hissed.
Potter's eyes widened. What little skin was visible paled. He tried to say something Lily couldn't quite make out. Sirius let out a full blown laugh, something Lily had thought impossible with one's mouth glued shut.
Remus snickered. "Prongs, it might be best to stop before Lily decides to kill you in a most horrible fashion."
A grumble was Potter's only response.
"You do know the meaning of the phrase self preservation, right?" asked Remus.
Potter nodded. Well, attempted to nod. Halfway through the motion his chin got stuck to Lily's forehead.
"Great job, Lily," said Alice. "A ménage a trois is a great way to loosen up… or is it five instead of three… Well, have fun."
"ALICE!!" screamed Lily. "Don't say stuff like that in front of the younger years! And eeeeeeewww! Like I'd ever even consider shagging Potter, Remus or Peter? How could you suggest such a thing?!"
Potter started shrieking at her as Sirius gave her a lecherous grin. Lily closed her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. This would not end well.
Thursday, October 1
Approximately 9:13pm
Lily sat across from Alice up in their dorm room, each on their respective bed. Lily's blush had yet to fade, mostly due to Alice's uncontrollable laughter.
"It was not that funny," growled Lily.
"Yes, it was."
"No it wasn't!"
"Yes."
"No."
"Was too!"
"Just shut up," sniffled Lily. "It wasn't that funny. And anyway, it'll be all over the school before morning. I'll never be able to live it down."
"It's not that bad," Alice said, trying to comfort her friend. "Everybody will forget in a week or two. If you ask me, the important issue is what you plan to do in retaliation."
"Retaliation?"
"You did tell James that you would make him pay," said Alice.
"I guess I could tell Professor McGonagall."
Alice flopped back on her bed. "Liiiily. What have I said about loosening up?"
"I believe your idea of my loosening up involved me in a ménage a trois with Potter and Sirius," growled Lily. "Like I'd really have sex with Potter, let alone loose my virginity to him in a threesome involving Sirius as well. What kind of slut do you think I am?"
"Oh honestly. That was just a joke. And anyway, did you see the position the three of you were in? I was only saying what everybody else was thinking."
"Everybody obviously has too much time on their hands, an overactive imagination, and a hyperactive sex drive."
Alice shook her head, a smile upon her lips. "Now getting back to how you're going to get back at Potter… Do you have any ideas that don't involve running to a professor?"
Lily shrugged. "I dunno. Haven't really thought of anything."
"I have an idea!"
"Do tell," Lily said dryly.
"A bet," explained Alice, sitting back up. "If you manage to pull a good prank on James without him finding out who was behind it, you win. If you fail to pull the prank or if he finds out the culprit within twenty four hours I win."
"Uh, Alice, that doesn't make any sense," Lily said in the voice one uses when talking to people of questionable mental stability. "What would I win? And for that matter, what would you win. Anyway, if I tell Professor McGonagall Potter will get detention."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Don't you pay attention to anything? Sirius and James are in the middle of a contest to see who can get the most detentions in one year. Do you really want to help him?"
"Good point. But what's the prize for the winner?"
Friday, October 2
Approximately 8:03am
Lily glanced at the parchment in front of her, then at the text book next to her. With a nod to her herself, she wrote several lines. Her plan would soon be complete.
Well, technically, the spells and potions needed would soon be prepared. She still needed to figure out all the variables, a viable diversion, and where exactly this would take place. But at least she had some idea of what she was doing.
The only question was; how would she kidnap Mrs. Johnson? Mrs. Johnson was the much despised cat of Mr. Filch.
Potter would never know what hit him.
Friday, October 2
Approximately 9:52pm
"Stupefy," whispered a female voice.
A tortoiseshell cat fell to the floor, unconscious. A cloaked figure glanced up then down the corridor. Satisfied that nobody was coming, she picked up the cat. Once the cat was safely under the cloak, the young woman walked back to Gryffindor Tower at a calm pace.
As Head Girl, there was nothing to stop Lily Evans from wandering the halls this late. One of the many privileges that came with the position.
Entering the tower, Lily called out greetings to her friends, glared at Potter and walked up the stairs to the girl's dorms without missing a beat. Once safely ensconced in her dorm, Lily carefully placed Mrs. Johnson in her trunk on top of a blanked.
Lily checked off something on a piece of paper and looked to see what else was needed. With a smile Lily realized she had everything. Perfect. All that was left was to set up the prank and lure Potter to his doom… uh, humiliation.
Saturday, October 3
Approximately 1:33pm
Lily sat against a wall deep in the dungeons. During various patrols. Lily had discovered that this part of the dungeons was almost always deserted. A perfect place to set up her trap.
Thanks to some clever bribery and blackmail, when she gave the signal, Frank would burst into wherever Potter was and tell him there was a situation in the dungeons.
Pointing her wand, she began the incantation. Halfway through, Lily heard a sharp noise. Reacting on instinct, Lily turned to look behind, knocking over several vials and mispronouncing the spell.
She watched in horror as the objects in front of her changed.
Saturday, October 3
Approximately 3:44pm
Lily hit her head against the wall once more. She could fix this. There had to be a way to fix this. There had to be. But how?
Putting her head in her hand, Lily cursed her mediocre transfiguration skills. Sure, she had been good enough to get into the NEWTs class, but there was no way she knew enough to fix this.
If only it was something that could be fixed with a charm or a potion. She was at the top of the class in both subjects. So of course it was a problem that could only be solved by using transfiguration.
She couldn't go the Professor McGonagall with this. Lily was quite sure that if any of the Professors found out what had happened she would loose her position as Head Girl at the very least. More than likely, she would have detention for the rest of the school year or be suspended or expelled.
She just couldn't understand how transfiguration could be so hard. Potter had yet to receive anything under an Outstanding in all the years he had taken the class. He was always the first to do the spell correctly. Potter even managed to make his pieces of transfiguration the most complicated and beautiful.
If Potter had been in this situation, he would have known what to do.
Wait, Potter could fix this. Potter would help her. Right? Well, it was worth a try.
Lily quickly secured her… mistakes. Glancing around to make sure nobody was around, Lily disillusioned them. Putting away her wand Lily walked back to Gryffindor Tower.
A quick glance showed that while Remus was in the Common Room, Potter was nowhere to be seen. Hoping that Remus knew… something, Lily approached him.
"Remus? Could you tell me where Potter is?"
"More Head duties?" asked Remus.
"Uh, actually, I need his help," Lily managed to grit out. "For some transfiguration work."
"He's out by the lake," Remus said slowly, as if he couldn't quite believe that Lily would willingly ask Potter for anything.
"Thanks!"
Lily jogged out of the Common Room before Remus could comment. It didn't take Lily much to find Potter after that. Like Remus had said, Potter was sitting under a tree next to the lake. He was lazily letting go of a snitch and plucking it out of the air. One of his more annoying pastimes.
She came to a stop about a foot away from Potter. Ignoring the looks Sirius and Peter sent her way, Lily grit her teeth. Ignoring the urge to yell at Potter, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Potter, I need your help."
Sirius blinked at her in disbelief while Peter fell over. Potter just grinned at her.
"What sort of help?"
"I… messed up something involving a complex charm and several potions," Lily managed to say. "And it can't be reversed by any charm or potion or combination of the two. I think it would need to be reversed using transfiguration."
Potter looked at her, considering the request. After a moment, he said, "I'll see what I can do, on one condition."
Lily almost turned and left. Then she remembered Mrs. Johnson. "What's the condition?"
"You call me James, not Potter," he said.
Lily bit her lip. "Alright… James."
Standing up, James put the snitch in his pocket he gave her a brilliant smile. "Why don't you explain the problem on the way."
"Uh, it might be better for me to explain once we get there," said Lily.
Saturday, October 3
Approximately 4:39pm
James blinked. He glanced at Lily, then at the powder blue Ford Anglia. He knelt down to look at the banjo. Shaking his head, James stood back up.
"Wow," he said. "I just-wow. You shouldn't have been able to do this, no matter how badly you mispronounced the charm."
"Can you fix it?" asked Lily, desperation quite clear in her voice. "Please tell me you can fix it."
"I can try," offered James. "I don't think it will be entirely possible to separate Mrs. Johnson's mind from the car while putting it back into her body. I mean, her body's now a banjo. And if I do manage it, I'm not sure I can even keep her exactly the same genetically, let alone chronologically. As for the car, if we get the cat's mind out, we can sell it or something. It would be impossible to hide it at Hogwarts."
Lily nodded. "We need to try to get Mrs. Johnson back to normal."
"Do I want to know what you were doing?" James asked, the look on his face making his suspicion clear.
She shook her head.
"Right then. Stand back."
Sunday, October 4
Approximately 11:12am
"So how'd it go?"
Lily put her head in her hands. "You win. Do I really need to…"
"Yes," smiled Alice.
"You planned this from the very beginning, didn't you," accused Lily.
"Of course I did. It was all part of my plan to get you to loosen up."
"Sometimes I really hate being friends with you."
"You'll never believe what happened," said Sirius, plopping down across from the girls.
"It's really weird," explained Remus as he sat next to Sirius and started to fill his plate up with food. "Mrs. Johnson was stolen."
"Really?" asked Alice. "Who would want that old pile of bones?"
"The same lunatic that left a kitten on his desk," said James, sitting next to Lily. "He's already named it Mrs. Norris."
Lily shuddered. "Do I even want to know what happened to Mr. Norris?"
"Probably not." He threw his arm around her shoulders. "Want to go with me during the next Hogsmeade Weekend? I head this tea shop just opened."
Lily sighed, the glanced at Alice. At Alice's nod, Lily said, "Fine. But no pranks."
There were times when Lily really hated making bets. Especially ones that forced her to go out on dates with people like James. She still shuddered at the thought of the time when her lost bet had resulted in a date with Severus Snape.ogsmeade Weekend?"