Frozen
Summary: Hermione, now seventy-five, goes to Harry's grave with her grandson. She explains to her grandson, Harry, the true nature of her relationship with his namesake, including what lead to his death fifty years before.
Never look back `cuz it hurts
My heart is so cold
I feel the frost
Never look back
I feel the darkness on my shoulder
The frost is in my heart
So cold, my hair is frozen
Touching my skin, my flesh
Hermione looked down at her withered hands, the wrinkles in her dry flesh telling of her age. She pulled her shawl tighter around her weak, boney shoulders to protect her from the icy cold. She looked at the man standing with her, so tall and proud, and her heart swelled behind her fragile breast. She loved that man who walked with his hand on her arm lightly, to show her that he could be strong.
"Really, you shouldn't be out here in this weather," the man told her. Hermione nodded once, her hair stark white against the old, maroon shawl. Snow and ice crunched below his feet, though her miniscule size barely dented it. Coldness surrounded them.
"I know," Hermione said with her voice raspy and thick. She said nothing more yet continued down the path, not even glancing at the stark white tombstones around her. She knew where his was; though she hadn't been there since the day they lowered his body into the ground a half a century before.
"If my father knew I sprung you from the hospital, he would have my head," the young man said as he allowed most of Hermione's weight bear on his arm. She weighed nothing to him, though, and he held her tight.
"Harry, dear, James will forgive you," Hermione said as she continued on towards the granite tombstone that stood alone at the top of a small hill. Her finger gentle brushed against those of her dearest friends as she came closer to the solitary tombstone.
"Did you really know all of these people?" Harry asked her.
"I did," Hermione said as she paused. "I loved them all, and one by one they died. Nothing lasts forever, my dear grandson. Nothing."
"No one ever talks about it," Harry said. "How did it happen? How did Grandpa Harry die?"
Sometimes I regret what I had to do
`Cuz our love was some what true
But I had to leave you
For the sake of the ruse
"Help me to the ground here, Harry," Hermione said as her fingers touched the tombstone of her greatest love.
"Then, will you explain?" Harry asked. Hermione nodded as her fingers touched the stone etching of the name of Harry Potter.
"I loved your grandfather more than my own life, and I never meant for anything bad to happen to him. We were both Aurors, much like your father, brothers, and you. We were good, so good," Hermione said as her aged face showed the excitement of her youth, even if only the sparkle in her clouded eyes. She was quite blind now.
"He was an Auror," Harry murmured in response as he took a seat next to his grandmother.
"We were so in love, Harry. You couldn't imagine a love like we had," Hermione said quietly. "We spent the summer in each other's arms, practically ignoring the world around us. All this, waiting for our assignment. I would have given up my life to never leave your grandfather's arms."
"But then, the second war?" Harry asked. Hermione's lip quivered slightly as she nodded.
"Despite the fall of the Dark Lord, some couldn't let go. Harry was assigned to one team, and I was assigned to another. We would be shipped out separately. We argued that last night together, his saying that he would never leave if we weren't going to be together," Hermione said. "We were such irrational kids back then, not a day older than you are now."
"Why would you fight? No assignment lasts forever," Harry asked as he took his grandmother's ancient hand in his own hand.
"You know, you look a lot like your grandfather," Hermione said as her hand cupped his cheek.
"We are identical, Nana, though you have never seen me," Harry said quietly. He took a deep breath. "Please, don't change the subject."
"You are such a witty young man, Harry. No, I mustn't change the subject, I only desire not to relive it again as I do every night when I sleep," Hermione said quietly. She shivered slightly. "My assignment was one of such danger; I was not expected to be able to return from it. Our team knew the sacrifice was one for the safety and security of our kind. I also could not very well tell your grandfather that, Harry. He would have chained me to him so that I couldn't go."
"But you went, anyways?" Harry asked. Hermione nodded as she absentmindedly traced the letters on the tombstone with one of her boney fingers covered in paper thin skin.
"I told Harry, your grandfather, that I didn't love him and that I was just using him to advance my career. I knew I wasn't coming back, and I knew he wouldn't come looking for me before I went if he thought that I didn't love him," Hermione said quietly as tears began to well behind her lids.
"You left him a letter, though," Harry said quickly. "Everyone knows about the letter."
"It explained everything, including how much I loved him," Hermione said as her words shook from emotion and cold. "I needed him to be able to move on after I was gone."
"But you are alive, Nana," Harry said.
"At the last minute, there was a change and it was Harry's team that was sent to the gates of hell, not mine. Harry died thinking that I didn't love him," Hermione said as the cold crept into her bones. "He was already three weeks in the ground when I found out that I was pregnant with James."
"So, Grandpa never knew about Dad?" Harry asked. Hermione shook her head, the thinning white hair thick with the new fallen snow.
"No," Hermione said in almost a whisper as tears fell from her eyes. "I could never see any man loving or raising James, so I never married and James never had a father."
Frozen tears stab into my skin
Frozen memories of you
Sometimes, I see your face
As pure as you are mine
"I see him sometimes, when I close my eyes," Harry confessed quietly to his grandmother. She nodded with a tearful smile on her face.
"So do I," Hermione said as she touched his cheek again. "I see him now."
"You see him now?" Harry asked.
"Yes, sitting here with me, beckoning me to come with him," Hermione said quietly as she sighed.
"Right now?" Harry asked quietly. "But you and I are the only ones here in the grave yard."
"I know," Hermione said quietly. "I wasn't completely truthful with you Harry, something I seem to be a lot with the Harry-s in my life."
"What do you mean, Nana?" Harry asked.
"I asked you, out of all of your brothers, to bring me here, but not to visit," Hermione said quietly.
"Not to visit?" Harry asked. Hermione shook her head.
"I am old, Harry."
"Not too old," Harry insisted.
"Perhaps, but fifty years separated from the person you love more than your own life is fifty years too long," Hermione said quietly.
"You had me bring you here to die, then," Harry said quietly. Hermione smiled at him softly.
"You are so much like your grandfather in so many ways, not just looks. You are so very clever," Hermione said. "You know, you are the age he was when he died."
"I don't want to leave you here, alone, Nana," Harry said. She patted the tombstone. "I am not alone. I am with Harry."
"I can't just leave you here," Harry said. Hermione patted his hand.
"You are a great man," Hermione said quietly as she felt the coldness infiltrating every inch of her.
I feel the darkness on my shoulder
The frost is in my heart
So cold, my hair is frozen
Touching my skin, my flesh
"Harry, I feel it, it won't be much longer," Hermione said quietly. "Thank you for bringing me here, and not leaving."
"I could never leave you, Nana," Harry said as his fingers locked with her. She rested back against the tombstone.
"It feels so go good to go from the hands of one Harry I love to the hands of another Harry I love," Hermione said raspy breathed.
"Are you scared?" Harry asked.
"No, just thankful that the cancer had left me enough strength to come here," Hermione whispered. A smile crossed her face. "I see you there, standing. Are you waiting for me?"
"Nana, I am sitting right here with you," Harry said quietly.
"It won't hurt, will it?" Hermione asked. Harry looked over his shoulder where she was looking but saw nothing but the snowy wind.
"No, Nana, it won't hurt," Harry whispered as her gripped loosened slightly.
"You were always my favorite," Hermione sighed as she closed her eyes.
"I have always loved you, and I knew you loved me," Harry whispered to his grandmother, hoping it was something his grandfather would say. "I could feel your love even when you turned away from me."
"I have missed you," Hermione said as her last words slipped between parted lips. Harry felt his grandmother's hand go limp in his own.
"Nana?" Harry asked as tears spilled over his cheeks. Harry was met with silence. His fingers touched her neck, but they were met with stillness. He breathed in, his breath shaky, and remained by her side in the grave yard. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine his grandparents and great grandparents looking down at him. Harry smiled and hoped that he did them proud.
Never look back `cuz it hurts
My hearts is so cold
I feel the frost
Never look back.
Song: Frozen
Artist: Within Temptation
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