Disclaimer: For all I know this idea was already used, and I am sorry if it was. If it was not, then I own the idea and nothing else. If J.K. Rowling decides to lend us any characters, I get first dibs on Draco.
Summary: Draco's point of view on how he feels and how a certain red head changed all of that. Random facts that do not have a point: This is in Draco's 7th year, Ginny's 6th. Also I never use any names in here, but I'm sure you will all figure out that this is Draco talking in first person and the girl he is talking about is Ginny. This is a one shot fic, so I hope you enjoy it and please review!
It was not supposed to happen like this.
I was perfectly fine with no emotions. I could handle not caring about anyone or having no heart. Without a heart, you could not get hurt more than you already were, right? The walls were there for a reason; no one was allowed in. For seventeen years of my life those walls stayed sturdy and strong. No one dared to break through, let alone have the strength or will to. Everyone who crossed my path did not even give my walls a second glance, and for that I was grateful. I was invincible, emotions and all. My walls were my strength. They protected my heart from feelings coming in or out. No one could break through.
But she found a way.
I do not even think she knows how it is not to love. I have always watched her from afar, not out of interest, but simply because her fiery red hair caught my eye. It was always gleaming in the sunlight, so full of life and happiness. Watching it dance in the wind would always make me touch my own hair, perfect but dull. There was always a smile on her freckled face and she always made it her mission to make everyone laugh.
Maybe that is why she paid me any attention. Maybe I was just a challenge for her; a goal. Whatever her intention was I will never know. All I do know is she came out of nowhere and knocked her tiny hands of my walls.
At first I did not hear her knocking. I took no notice in the looks she gave me across the hall at dinner or that she always seemed to be in the library the same time I was. The only time I did pay attention to her was to insult her on her hair color or the fact that she was poor. And what did she do in response? She smiled her life-is- so-bloody-wonderful smile that use to make me want to vomit. That is where it all went wrong. It fucking USED to.
Everything happened too fast, too out of control. She continued to pester me, never leaving me be. The only time I had to sulk was when I locked myself in my room away from anything red or happy. I wish I could go back to those lonely, depressing moments and make myself realize what she was doing to me, but even then it was too late. She was breaking down my wall.
She seemed to ignore the fact that we were exact opposites. Different houses, different families, different everything. She once told me that opposites attract and that no matter how much I would push her away, she would only hold on tighter. I tried to explain to her that I was incapable of caring for another, that I would only hurt her. She would just smile that smile of hers and tell me to not be afraid to feel.
For the first time in my life I felt happiness. It was different than the joy I felt on my broom or knowing I could buy anything I wanted. Who ever knew that a simple brushing of the shoulders in the hallway could cause my stomach to squirm? It was new, it was exciting. It was scary.
The first time we kissed I felt part of my wall tumble down. I never knew anyone's lips could feel so soft, so pure. How could one kiss be full of so many feelings? My inside went haywire, and my heart started to beat a new rhythm. I remembered I pulled back in fear, my gray eyes searching her honey brown ones. What was going on? I felt so different, so alive. She grabbed my hand and placed it above my heart so I could feel the rapid beating. She told me not to be afraid, that she would never hurt me.
Time went by and I started to change without really knowing it. On the outside I was still the same to everyone, but never to her. She could take one look into my eyes and see my soul. I use to hate it when she would do that, and I would immediately put all of my walls up and hide my heart from her. She would grab my hand and place it over my heart, telling me not to be afraid to open up.
There were times she would yell at me and cry, asking if I ever felt anything for her at all. I tried to stop her tears but I did not know how. So many years of my life were spent on causing tears, and for once it pained me to do so. I tried to tell her that I do feel for her, that I am sorry, but those words would not come out. I tried to tell her that I knew I had hurt her, but I did not want to admit it to myself for causing her pain. I was meant for pain and hurt, not her. She stood there crying, waiting for me to ask for her forgiveness, but when the silence gave her an answer, she turned to leave my room and my life forever.
I almost let her go. In a split second I tired to tell myself that I was better this way, without her I could go back to not caring. And in that split second I tried to build up my walls only to find that they were gone. She broke through them like no other person has before. She taught me what it was like to feel and to open up, to not be afraid of pain but to accept it as it comes. I quickly grabbed her hand and turned her around so she could look into my eyes. I placed her hand over my heart and asked her if she could feel it. She slowly nodded her head, her tears coming to a stop. With my free hand I wiped them away and whispered to her that she did that. She made my heart move and care; she made me feel emotions that I have never felt before.
I told her it was not supposed to happen like this. I was not supposed to fall in love, let alone even feel it. But she found a way into my walls, and brick by brick she tore it down. Slowly, I pulled her hand away from me and placed it over her own heart. I told her not to be afraid, that I would never hurt her. My walls were down and she was the only one that could keep me up.
I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!! Liz21