Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR... C'mon.. like I would mess up the ending like that...lol...
Lyrics belong to their respective owners...I'm not profiting from this so yeah... eve if you do sue me... I'm broke...lol... :P
AN: **Ducks head and holds arms up in sign of peace*** Yes, I know most of you hate me at the moment... I haven't updated Best Friends so what on earth am I doing writing this instead? Right...? I can give you a thousand excuses... but I wont... all I'll say is that.. I apologize and I'll do my best to have the next chapter up soon enough... Thanks for sticking with me....
To Kara who honored me with inviting me to join her challenge....I'm sorry I seemed to have quit half way... I didn't... life just got in the way and I apologize most sincerely... I'll finish the story and post it later just for you...
To the rest of you.. I hope you enjoy this.. it was a way to get the juices flowing once more... to get me back on track...Please do drop a review... I'd love to hear from you guys... K...sorry about everything else...and I'll hurry up and get it done soon... I love you guys....
PLEASE REVIEW!! (It's the only way I'll know whether I'm doing a good job or not...and whether you guys want more or not... Thanx) Any errors are my own as this was not beta'd... I love constructive criticism...so feel free to drop advice... Thanks.
Based on Avril Lavigne's song "My Happy Ending."
MY HAPPY ENDING
By: Rodare
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh....
I stared with a hollow feeling deep inside of me at the framed picture of a man with messy black hair and emerald eyes hugging the beautiful redhead. I bent down and picked it up gingerly from where it lay at my feet. The glass was shattered and yet I could make out every tiny feature of his face. He looks so happy... The same thought has been crossing my mind for the last day... month... year? I don't know anymore... All I'm sure of is this deep burning pain that rips my insides. I'm not sure when it happened. I still can't understand why, but by now... Ha, now I'm pretty sure my "happy ending" is no more. And its all HER fault.
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
"What are you talking about, Harry?" I asked. I remember having that feeling of uncertainty still in me at that point. I knew not whether what I was hearing coming out of his mouth was real or not. An ugly grimace marred my face as I stood in the brink between a smile and a sob.
"How else do you want me to say it?" he asked softly as he looked up at me. Brown met emerald and my heart shattered into a million pieces as I saw the emotions in his eyes. He moved a step closer to me and took my hands in his. I felt the callouses that in our childhood came from his Quidditch training, the same ones that now came from the arduous work that was involved in Auror training. My heart flipped and logged itself into place in the middle of my throat. "I never meant to hurt you. You know I never did. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it still did. What else can I possibly say?"
"We can talk about this, Harry," I whispered as a sob tried to crawl its way out of me. "We have time. You might be wrong. What if you're wrong?"
"But I'm not," he said shaking his head emphatically. He squeezed my hands and flinched as I pulled away from him roughly. He took a step towards me as if he meant to hug me but I took two steps back and wrapped my own arms around myself even as I shook my head.
I looked away from those hypnotizing emerald eyes of his and met my own brown gaze in the window pane beside him. I looked distraught and weak. I looked like a woman on the verge of caving in. I saw the silent tears drop from my eyes and that's when I knew that I was loosing it all.
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
"No, honey," he said tenderly and that above it all broke me. The tenderness with which he spoke towards me. He was afraid I would break and yet if he cared so much, why was he doing this in the first place? Why was he throwing so many years away? What did I do to deserve this? Did he need something I never gave? "It wasn't you, and I wont say it was me because that's not true either. What happened occurred because..."
"Because what?" I questioned loosing my composure bit by bit. "Because what, Harry?"
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
He remained silent as I walked towards the window that faced the sleeping city below us. London was dead at this time of the night. A small laugh managed to make it out of my lips and I saw him shuffle his feet uncomfortably in the reflection of the window. He must think I'm going insane. I turned to face him, the dead city at my back, waiting for him to answer my question. This wouldn't end like this. Not like this.
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
"You're an amazing woman," he said sincerely. He smiled a bit as he said it and the small glint in his eyes told me he was remembering something pleasant about our times together. "I can still remember the first time I laid eyes on you at King Cross. I didn't think much of you then, but I was so wrong. You're one of the most powerful witches in our world, and you're a successful career woman. I put you on a pedestal all this time. Especially right before and all these years after the war. How could I not when you deserved it all?"
"If I'm so perfect then why?" I asked, wondering at the firmness in my voice even when I was crumbling from the inside out. He was lifting me up so high as he had always been able to do.
"Because I fell in love," he said simply. So high... well that only made the fall the more painful. He must have read the pain in me at last because he looked at his feet once more and he brought his hand up to run through his hair. "It's just..."
"It's just...?" I asked and then I closed my eyes as Luna's words echoed in my head. No matter what you do, no matter what you change, in the end you're simply... "Not her..."
"Pardon?" he asked as he looked up to meet my gaze once more. I smiled through my pain, Harry was always the polite one.
"I'm not her," I spoke louder this time and I saw the answer in his eyes.
"No," he said almost apologetic, as if that in its own was his fault. "You're not her."
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
"I know all about you, of course- I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."
Harry and Ron would recall that moment time and time again when everyone was gathered. There was something they all loved about recalling that at one point everyone in the Wizarding World knew more about Harry Potter than Harry James Potter himself.
I had been absolutely no different. On that faithful day when Harry entered my life for the first time I had thought and believed that everything I had ever read or heard about Harry was true. Since that day I had begun to dream about what our future could be. A happy ending worthy of all the stories mother had read to me in my childhood. I could be the princess worthy of the hero. I never once considered that he would fall for HER instead.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
"This is for you," he said grinning in that crooked way of his as he handed me a strange looking flower. I smiled as he stood there facing me, waiting for a response.
"It's...pretty," I said and his grin widened as he noticed my amusement at his gift. Our eyes met once more and he laughed shrugging.
"Neville talked me into it," he explained. "I'm not quite sure what it is, but you know..."
"It's great, thank you," I said laughing. He grinned but then his phone began to ring and after a small apology he picked it up as i stared at my purple and blue flower.
"Hello, stranger," I heard him say happily. I looked up and saw how he took a couple more steps away from me. "No, it's fine... Yeah...Yeah... she's right here... Okay, I'll see you in a bit then...yeah, I'm on my way. I will... me too, bye."
"How is she?" I asked knowing quite well who it had been. There was only one person who made him smile in that calm, mad happy way, much more different then the careless smile he reserved for me. He was still smiling and waved his hand in a sort of dismissive way as he slid his phone back into the pocket of his faded jeans.
"She's great," he answered easily. "Work and stuff, you know how she is. I'm really sorry but I have to go. We're working on a case together. The MLE, the Magical Research Center, and the Auror Department... bit confidential, actually. Mind if I take a rain check on our lunch?"
"No, of course not, no," I answered quickly. Inside of me a monster was rearing its head. I vile green monster I had not seen since my fifth year in Hogwarts. "It's fine. I understand. So, tomorrow, then?"
"Thanks," he said as he grabbed his coat from my chair and made to exit my small rather cramped cubicle. "Uhmm, actually, let me get back on that, okay? We have a big meeting tomorrow and..."
"It's fine," I said and he grinned. There it was that careless smile that melted my insides. I didn't know then why it was that I coveted the smile he saved for her much more. "I'll see you later then."
"Soon," he said and leaned in to kiss my lips in a chaste kiss that made my knees weak. I nodded and leaned in against the frame of my cubicle as I watched him leave. Kelly, my cubicle neighbor grinned at me in a suggestive way as she gave me the thumbs up.
Yeah, he was everything I had ever wished for in my life. Handsome, a gentleman, kind, caring... he was all I wanted. He was all I wanted and he was all mine. Yet, even then a part of me began to wonder why I felt like I was loosing it all.
And all of the memories, so close to me,
Just fade away
"Leave me alone!!" I yelled at Ron as he banged at my door. I grabbed the bottle of firewhisky sitting in the middle of the living room table and i hurled it at the door. The banging stopped and even through my tears I heard him mutter something about overemotional witches as he walked away. I walked towards the door and I banged against it with my own fist as I kept yelling incoherently things I would regret saying soon enough. "I hate you! I hate all of you!! Leave me alone...oh Merlin, just... just leave me alone."
I don't really know how long I sat there crying my heart out, but next thing I knew the sky outside was as dark as my own heart and I was rushing up the stairs to my room. I grabbed the clothes basket and cleared it out as I set it angrily on my bed. I moved around the room frantically as if I held a purpose no one else could be entrusted with but myself. I gathered it all... all that reminded me of him.
In my rush down the stairs I tripped and hit the wall where pictures from our Hogwarts days hung. A picture of the Golden Trio stared back at me. I ran a finger down his sixteen year old face and tears blurred my eyes. Where was my happy ending?
I jumped back away from the picture as if I had been burned. I looked back at those young troubled faces, even as they smiled back at me through the worry in their eyes and I hated them. I hated their innocence. I hated how they could manage to be happy through all the pain, and yet here I was crumbling under it all. I swiped my hand at the pictures and they all fell with loud crashes as their glass broke, as the paper was ripped by the shards. I fell to my knees, my anger gave way to self-pity and exhaustion, not caring as the glass dug into my skin.
I cried once more and when there were no more tears left I finally stood. I looked at the mess that I had made and felt slightly better. I wiped my face with the hem of my sleeve and as I looked down at the damage done on my bare feet by the shards, I noticed the framed photograph of us. The glass was cracked and marring my own face, but I could easily make out his. He looked so happy by my side. He looked so damn happy with me in his arms.
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
"Do you think of the future?" Harry asked as we sat on a bench outside the Magical Research Center. I looked up from the smoothie I was just about to sip from and noticed he wasn't looking at me but at a point in the distance. Something in my stomach lurched as I noticed he was probably staring at the widow of her office.
"Of course I do," I answered. "Don't you?"
"I never really learned how," he said. "You know how life was for me during the war. I lived day by day and I was thankful for what little time I could get."
"Oh, Harry," I said reaching for his hand. He let my fingers wrap around his own and he watched them for a few seconds before he looked away once more.
"I've been thinking," he said and I laughed gently. He looked at me and pouted playfully. I laughed once more and he grinned. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I've been thinking."
"Yeah?" I asked with mirth. He stuck his tongue out at me and then smiled.
"Move into my flat," he finally said and I blinked. "We've been together for two years now. It's about time don't you think? I mean... only if you want to of course.... I just thought... I've been talking to..."
"Yeah," I said quickly. I didn't know why but I didn't really want to hear what he had been talking about with her. I was tired of her name coming up in every conversation we had. "I would love to move in, Harry."
"Yeah?" he asked grinning. I nodded and he smiled as he stood up. "Awesome, we'll get it done this weekend. Are you coming in? I need to oversee the security measures the MLE has been setting up. Are you going to interview the head honchos too?"
"Only our buddy," I said pointing at the window on the fifth floor of the Research Center he had been staring at. " Damn witch always has known how to get herself in the spotlight whether she likes it or not."
"She's brilliant," he said with a laugh. I nodded and half smiled back.
"I'll go in later," I answered his previous question and he nodded.
"Okay," he said bending over to kiss my lips softly. "I'll see you later then."
"Okay," I watched him leave in silence and then I grinned. I was finally moving in with him. This brought me a step closer to what I had always seen as my happily ever after.
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
I pretended to not be interested in the fact that all of them were throwing furtive glances at me from time to time. They're all huddled together glaring and pointing at each other as they whisper harshly in turns. They're failing sadly in their attempt to keep the conversation between the three of them as their argument heats up.
"I know she..." Harry began as the other two glared.
"No, mate," Ron cut in brusquely. "I'm always with you but I'm siding with the Chief on this one."
"Stop calling me that," she whispers in annoyance.
"Sorry," Ron muttered not sounding sorry at all. "I don't know why it bothers you so much. That is your title, isn't it? Anyhow, the fact is that you are right, though. It's one thing when you were in the Research Department and the MLE was working with you. Back then it was acceptable for her to drop in and have lunch with you guys or something. Now its different. We are working on a live case and we cannot have her dropping in whenever she fancies."
"I know that," Harry cuts in again. "I didn't ask her to come, but I can't very well just kick my own girlfriend out of my own damn office!"
"Then we will move to mine as I proposed when I accepted to move Departments to work with you two on this case," she cut in sharply but much more quietly than the other two. Harry blinked in surprise as her voice changed from a person arguing with a friend to someone talking to another co-worker. She steeled her face and stood straighter as Ron nodded slightly at her. "I know we cannot ask you to brush her aside like an annoying fly, Harry, but we cannot have a civilian walking in like this. I'm head of this case and as such I won't have her relationship with you jeopardizing this case. You have three minutes to get her out of this office, while Auror Weasley and I prepare my office where we will expect you ASAP. Dismissed."
"Chief," Harry said automatically, but then he blinked grabbing her arm as she made to turn away from him. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she said her voice breaking back to the calm tone she always used with him. I despised how she could affect him so. Bloody witch. "I understand how... fiery she can be."
"Yeah," Harry said breaking into that smile he reserved for her. She smiled automatically back at him rolling her eyes as she unsheathed her wand and flicked it in a careless but controlled matter. All the maps, notes, pictures, everything that had been on the walls, the desk, or the tables disappeared with a puff sound instantly. Fucking show off too.
"Five minutes, Auror Potter," she spoke in a normal tone now. Harry grinned widely at that as she turned and threw the file folder she had been holding all this time towards Ron who was rolling his own eyes at their antics. "Auror Weasley, if you please."
"Ya, Chief," Ron said saluting her as he moved to follow her out of the office. She rolled her eyes and waved at me as she made her way to the door. I waved back and stuck my tongue out at Ron as he puckered his lips out to me on his way out.
"Chief!" Harry called before she made it out the door. She turned back around a questioning look in her eyes.
"Yes?" she asked and he smirked playfully.
"I thought you said three minutes," he said. She blinked and then narrowed her eyes at him.
"That's five points from Gryffindor for your cheek, Potter," she said very seriously. The resemblance to the late Snape's manners was outstanding. Harry and Ron burst out laughing and she grinned happily as she exited the room at last. Good riddance I'd say. Ron ran out after her still chuckling and Harry finally made his way towards me.
"I'm sorry if I got you into trouble, love," I said quickly and he shrugged the grin still playing on his lips. "I just..."
"I'm not in trouble," he said. "You know how she is with us. Still though. You need to understand that I..."
"I know," I said quickly.
"She really is my boss," he said smiling more at that. "Someone else would have taken my badge or taken me out of the case for this."
"I'm sorry," I said. Bloody witch. Manipulative little...
"I'll see you at home later," he said kissing my cheek almost dismissively. As if it was more out of habit than anything.
"Are you coming home early?" I asked as I stood rooted to my spot watching him leave without a glance in my direction.
"No," he said without looking back as he grabbed a box of files that sat near the door. "Actually, don't wait up, I owe the Chief dinner for this. I'll see you later, hon."
"Ok," I whispered a minute after he had rushed out of the room without awaiting my answer. I began to see to red as my hurt and outrage turned to anger. Bloody witch was getting in the way again. Now she was making it seem as if I was a burden to Harry, something to be thrown aside without care. Well, we would see about that.
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me?
All the shit that you do?
"Where is he?" I snapped grabbing her from her shoulders.
"He's upstairs in my room," she answered. I pushed past her but she grabbed my arm and with more force than I thought her capable of she held me back. "Don't. Let him be. He's fine. He just needs time."
"I'm his girlfriend!" I spat back at her as I pulled from her grasp.
"I never said you weren't," she said with a shrug. "Would you please stop yelling and sit down? Want some tea?"
"No," I snapped as I pushed past her and sat down at the table as she sighed and grabbed herself a cup of tea. "What happened? Why isn't he in St. Mungos? Why the hell is he here?"
"For Merlin's sake, stop yelling," she mumbled rubbing her temples. She sighed and sipped her tea in a deliriously calm manner taking her time to compose an answer before speaking. "He's fine and he's not hurt... anymore. I'm an excellent Healer, he'll be fine."
"I'm not sure if your excellent expertise is what he needs at the moment," I snapped and she glared at me instantly.
"If I thought for even one second that I was incapable of taking care of him I would have taken him to St. Mungos way before you came to tell me," she answered darkly. "As it is, he's fine. He just needs some rest and he needs some peace. Both of which he can't get with you."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snapped standing up to face her. She didn't even flinch as she regarded me silently from her spot on the couch.
"What I mean is exactly what you're doing right now. You cant take things calmly, and thats what he needs right now."
"Now you know him better than I do?" I spat angrily.
"I always have," she answered softly and I felt as if she had slapped me. "I don't want to fight. I'm tired and I'm worried. He'll be back home in a couple of days. Now I'd really appreciate if you could leave."
"Wait just one bloody second!" I snapped back as she rose from her seat. "You mean to tell me that he will be sleeping here? With you?"
"He always has when he goes off to..." she began but quickly closed her mouth before she could finish. I narrowed my eyes at her and she pinched the bridge of her nose with a grimace.
"Do you know where he goes?" I asked angrily.
"Yes," she said simply walking to the door. I grabbed her arm with force and she turned to me angrily. "Let go of me."
"Where?" I hissed at her. She made a sort of growling noise of anger and I felt her magic lash out at mine without warning. Incredible. I let go of her arm instantly as my hand blistered in pain as if I had just touched a hot iron.
"Don't ever do that again," she snapped. I blinked as if i had never seen her before. The truth was that for the first time I was allowed to see the woman that the best of the Death Eaters feared. "Now, I will ask you for the last time to leave my house."
"Tell me what you know," I asked frantically. "He... I need to know! I have to know! No one...he said... he said no one knew..."
"Someone had to know," she cut in calmly. "You must have imagined that much. You know that what he does is in cooperation with the Ministry. Now, please... I have an early start tomorrow..."
"Please, you were my friend..." I said without thinking as I took a step closer to her. She half-smiled at that and as tears filled her eyes she pushed her hands into the pockets of her jeans. I took a step away from her as a knot took residence inside my throat, and I shook my head as she tightened her lips erasing the excuse for a smile that had graced her face at my comment.
"Yeah, we were friends," she said sadly. "And, no matter what I did or said, you made sure our friendship ended. I still consider you my friend, even when I see that you don't, but that doesn't mean I will break a promise I've made to him. Now, if you'd be so kind as to go. There are things I need to take care of."
"How is it that you know?" I asked as I followed her to the door. She sighed as she yanked open her door and I took a step out.
"He trusts me," she whispered and closed the door gently as I took a step back.
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending...
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
He sat before me looking as if he wanted nothing, but to flee. I sighed as stood up and walked towards the kitchen. He grabbed my wrist as I passed next to him bringing me to a stop beside him, but I refused to look down at his probing eyes.
"Why are you like this?" he asked gently.
"Because you insist in putting her before me," I snapped angrily turning to face him at last. "She's always first! I'm tired, Harry! Tired!"
"What are you talking about?" he asked with a sigh. I glared at him before I continued on to make my way to the kitchen. I heard him stand and follow behind me as I yanked open the oven door.
"She calls and you go running," I answered. "I call and you give me excuses. You're always busy or with her."
"She's my friend," he cut in before I could say more. "She's also my boss."
"Who's fault is that?" I snapped.
"Are you jealous of her?" he asked with a half grin. I glared at him as I crossed my arms, but didn't contradict him. "What? Seriously? But it's just..."
"I know exactly who the bloody hell it is!" I snapped. He sighed and crossed the room to wrap his arms around me as he pulled my chin up so that our eyes met.
"I'm with you, aren't I?" he asked gently. It was scary how that didn't sound consoling enough. I tried to pull my chin from his hand, but he held on and kissed my forehead gently. "She's a permanent fixture in my life, and you've known that since before the beginning of this. I'm not going to change my relationship with her because it does not please you. So, please... stop this. We have a lot going on for it to be lost by another of your tantrums."
"Is that what you think of me?" I snapped finding the strength to pull away from him. "That I'm some bloody child?"
"If you didn't act like such, I wouldn't," he muttered. I glared and he sighed again. "I'm sorry. I apologize. That was completely out of order. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," I whispered as he wrapped his arms around me gently. "I'm sorry too."
"I care about you," he whispered and my heart gave a painful lurch. "We're happy, right?"
"Yes, Harry," I answered as a tear spilled from my eyes. "We're happy."
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked as anger began to seep into my bones. "All this time I thought you were happy, and now..."
"I was happy," he said softly. I didn't want his calmness. I wanted him to lose it and scream back at me. I wanted him to fuel my anger, my own pain so that I could find it in myself to hate him. For once in my life I wanted nothing more than to hate the man I owed my life to, the one man I loved above all others.
"If you were happy with me why do you want this to end?" I asked as I turned to face him. "What... I mean..."
"I'm happier at her side," he whispered and I whirled away from him as tears began to spill from my eyes once more. No, Merlin, no... This couldn't be happening to me. "Please... let's not do this..."
"I need to know," I sobbed softly. "Don't you understand that I need to know?"
"I..." he nodded and sighed as I faced him once more.
"Why can she make you happier than I can?" I asked tearing my heart even more. "Why her?"
"Because she's all I ever had," he answered without thought. He sounded so sure, as if a part of him had always known. "She's all I have ever needed and more. She is all that I am, and much more than I could ever be."
"And, I'm less?" I asked bitterly. He looked back at me shaking his head as he pulled at the ends of his messy hair desperately.
"No, you're neither less nor more," he said still shaking his head as he tried to find a way to make me understand. "You're just... you're different."
"Different?" I questioned and he nodded.
"Yes, that's the only way I can explain it," he said.
"I thought you loved me."
"I did, I do..." he met my eyes. "But not the way you deserve, not the way I love her."
"So this was all a lie?" I asked. "All this time you spent by side. It was all a lie."
"No, of course not," he tried to explain. "You were there and you were amazing. You were everything I had ever dreamed of, everything I had ever wanted. You were my escape from it all."
"You pretended to care," I spat ignoring his words. "You pretended to love me so you could escape your reality."
"I did care," he snapped making me turn to him. "I did love you. I wished you were it. I wished we wouldn't have to be here, but I cant go on. I cant go on without her. I love her in a way I could never love you."
"Why not?" I asked desperately. "Why cant you love me instead?"
"Because I already loved her," he said simply.
"So, all this time, Harry," I asked wiping my tears away. "What was I to you?"
"You were the woman I thought I could love instead of her," he answered.
"You knew you loved her even then?"
"No," Harry answered sticking his hands into the pockets of his faded jeans. "I would have never put you through all of this had I known. Had I realized what I felt for her I would have never let all this time go by without letting you know."
"Does she know about this?" I asked. He shrugged and I looked expectantly at him. "Does she?"
"We have not discussed it," he answered. "But you know her and you know me. I think she already knows."
"And you assume she feels the same," I muttered.
"I can only hope," he said with a hint of a smile.
"You're throwing all this away for just the hope that she feels the same?" I spat vehemently. "In Merlin's name, Harry, how can you be doing this if you don't know?"
"I've been blind," he said raising his voice slightly. "Don't you understand that I've been blind to what has been staring at me all this time? I love her and I'm not indifferent to her. I know it... deep inside of me I know. There has never been any need of words when I'm with her. I love her and thats enough for me to risk it all. Besides, I wouldn't offer you the life of a lie."
"I see," I answered suddenly feeling drained. I sat on the couch and looked into the fire. There were no more tears but the pain was there. I closed my eyes for a second and I knew soon enough the tears and the rage would be back. How could there not be? He was my all. "So this it?"
"Yes," he said not moving from where he stood. I didn't turn to look at him. I couldn't bear to look at him, not today. "This is it."
"It's over," I said swallowing the knot in my throat. I could almost picture him nodding as he ran his fingers through the mess of his raven hair.
"It's over," he sentenced. He finally moved a step closer to where I sat and waited till I finally found it in me to look up. Brown met emerald once more and another tear spilled from the corner of my eye. I thought I was finished for the day, apparently not. "Please don't hate her."
"Bloody hell, Harry," I said laughing bitterly. He flinched at my language and all I could do was smirk bitterly at him. "Don't hate her, eh? And yourself? Will you not ask the same for you?"
"I wish you wouldn't," he said softly. "But I'm not stupid and I know I hurt you deeply. So, no, I don't ask that you don't hate me. I don't ask for forgiveness. I can only ask you to understand how I feel. Hate me if you must, just not her."
"You ask for much," I said and he nodded.
"I know," he answered. "I know."
"I can't say I won't," I continued and he nodded. "I can't promise you that."
"I know."
"And, yet you still asked?" I questioned and he nodded. "You're an idiot."
"That I am," he answered with a half smile.
"She is the one?" I asked. I guess a part of me had to be absolutely sure.
"Always has been," he said softly. "Always will be. She's it for me."
"She ruined my happy ending," I said half smiling back at him through my tears. I couldn't hate him. Not now when he stood in front of me wearing a Gryffindor T-shirt and faded jeans, looking ragged and handsome all at the same time. I couldn't hate him when all he was doing was being himself. He was being exactly what I had always wanted. I couldn't hate him yet. Not yet. Not now. The rage and the pain would come back, but not when he stood there looking at me and opened up for once.
"It's ruined only with me," he answered.
"What do you mean?" I asked. "My happy ending is still out there? You're only trying to make me feel better. It's not going to work."
"I've been blind," he said reaching out to place his palm on my cheek. Pain that I could only compare to the Cruciatus erupted inside of me at his touch. I pulled back from his touch and he sighed. "Open your own eyes like i have, and see the world for the first time. You'd be surprised what's staring back at you, you know?"
"Tell me that again when I feel like listening," I answered standing up and walking towards the door of the flat. He nodded and walked towards it as I held it open."Now l allow me to wallow in my pain and misery in peace. I need to be alone."
"Yeah," he said and stepped outside. He turned back one more time and looked apologetic. "Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for all this time, for everything. I'll always hold you dear to me and I guess... I... I'm sorry."
"Okay," I said neither accepting nor denying his claim.
"Okay," he said and I closed the door. Okay... okay... okay... the echo of that simple word kept going inside of my head as I slid to the floor and wept.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending...
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
I watched with minimal apprehension as he walked towards me with that stupid grin on his face. I rolled my eyes as he pretended to clutch his heart to keep it from stopping in surprise at my presence.
"You're still an idiot," I told him as he reached the place where I stood.
"That I am," he answered much as he had three years ago, but this time his smile was complete and true.
He watched me silently for a few moments making me slightly uncomfortable and self-conscious. I cleared my throat and he looked into my eyes again with a warm smile. My heart reacted instantly and I felt it's beats speed up. Bloody hell! I clenched my teeth and willed away any feeling I was no longer allowed to have for the gorgeous man before me.
"You look beautiful by the way," he said grinning. I managed a smile at that and sighed.
"Well... I came," I said with a small shrug. "Thank you for inviting me."
"You came," he said and grinned. It seemed that grin was a permanent fixture on his face these days. It made him look more devilishly handsome than anyone had the right to be. I nodded and before I knew what was happening his arms were around me and he was hugging me.
"Whoa," I said pushing against his chest gently. My heart didn't need anything more to deal with. He smiled sheepishly and pulled back. "I'm going to wrinkle your robes."
"Yeah," he said pulling back with a small blush on his cheeks. I grinned and rolled my eyes as I dusted invisible things from the lapels of his pristine white robes. "Sorry."
"It's quite alright," I answered taking a step back to watch him. "You look just as I pictured you would this day. You look quite dashing, Mr. Potter."
"Thanks," he said reaching back to ruffle his hair in that way of his.
"So, where is the lucky girl?" I asked and I surprised myself when I felt absolutely no resentment towards said woman. He smiled in a way I had never seen before. In a way that made his hypnotizing emerald eyes shine happily. Shine in a way that said that to this man everything was perfect because he had her.
"She's getting ready, I suppose," he said suddenly looking very nervous. "I'm not allowed to see her till it's time."
"As it should be," I told him laughing. He nodded but smiled as he pushed a strand of hair away from my face. I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand away from me playfully. "Don't mess with the hair or I'll remove your arm."
"You really are okay?" he asked and I chuckled with a shrug. He waited expectantly and I rolled my eyes again. Seems like rolling my eyes was something I was doing a lot these days.
"I'm fine," I answered sincerely. "I'm happy for the both of you, Harry. You both deserve to be happy, and if you've found it with each other who am I to reproach it? I'm happy for you, honestly."
"You've no idea how much that means to me," he answered softly. "Thank you."
"I'm wonderful like that, what can you do?" I asked laughing. He chuckled and ruffled my hair before I knew what he was doing. "Hey!"
"Oops!" he said laughing as I pushed him away from me while I glared. "Sorry! I forgot!"
"Forgot my... " I muttered but then he was hugging me tightly as he lifted me from the floor. "Hey! Stop that!"
"Thanks," he said as he set me on the floor carefully. I growled gently making him laugh again as I fixed my robes and my hair. "It means a lot to both of us."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered walking away from him and towards the doors that led to the Great Hall. He laughed and I stopped as I reached the doors glancing back at him one more time. "Is this your happy ending?"
"It's the beginning of it," he said with a grin. I smiled at that and nodded as I walked away. Yeah, he was everything I had ever wanted.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending...
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
I watched in absolute silence as they both said their vows while I did my best to ignore my mother's sobs and Fleur's tears. Amazingly, I had been completely honest with Harry, and I felt happy at seeing my friends finally unite their lives into one. The only bit of sadness in me was from the memories I had of him and me. Memories that could have led to me being in the place where she stood. Then again.. I doubt I could ever look as beautiful as she did standing beside him. And, she indeed was beautiful.
I smiled as they embraced in a passionate kiss forgetting that hundreds of people were watching them. She gasped slightly and pulled back from him laughing as she pushed his chest playfully at his audacity. He laughed holding her tight to him as he kissed her again while everyone inside the Great Hall stood to cheer and clap. I stood and clapped along with everyone else.
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
"Thank you for coming," she whispered hugging me tightly. I was surprised when I felt tears fill my eyes when I heard the honesty and happiness in her voice. I gulped softly and embraced her tightly too.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, remember?" I asked hoping she didn't notice the tears in my voice as we held on to each other in a way we hadn't since we were very young. I brushed my fingers down her silky mocha curls remembering the promise we made when we young girls, when we were the best of friends, that no matter where we were we wouldn't miss each other's wedding.
"I didn't think... I'm so sorry," she began but I made a shushing sound and pulled away from her embrace to face her.
"Don't..." I cut her off as she opened her mouth to say something. "You're happy, and he's happy. That's all that matters. We both know that it was me who got in the middle of this happening sooner."
"No," she began again but I frowned at her shaking my head.
"He's yours and you are his," I said with a smile. "It's the way its supposed to be. You guys were meant to be. In another reality or some foolish world maybe I got to keep him, but it isn't right. He'd never be as happy as he is with you. No one will love him in the way you do. I couldn't love him as much as you always did. He doesn't deserve less than the best. You're the best, and I love you both."
"I love you too, little sister," she said softly as she touched my cheek. A tear spilled from my eyes as she said that term of endearment she'd use to call me when we were just two girls wondering how our futures would turn out to be. "Thank you for everything."
"You totally screwed up my happy ending," I laughed and she rolled her eyes. Ah, so that's where I picked up the habit, figures. She reached out for my hand and without hesitation I took hers. We began walking back towards the rest of the guests that were spread out on the grounds of the place where it all started.
"Neville asked about you," she began and I rolled my eyes this time.
"He's nice but he's not my type," I told her with a shrug. I glanced at her and smiled. "You on the other hand look totally hot by the way."
"Ha ha, what?" she asked blushing as a laugh escaped her. I pulled her hand and wrapped my own around her waist playfully.
"I said you look beautiful," I said kissing her cheek. She grinned and held me to her side.
"You look beautiful too," she answered with a smile. I shrugged and she laughed. "So, about Neville..."
"No, thanks," I said laughing, and she laughed right along with me.
Harry met us halfway looking happy and in love. He moved in between us and I let her go willingly into his arms as he kissed her. I watched with a smirk as he pulled back from her leaving her breathless and eyes glazed. Bastard, always did kiss like a god, I thought with a smile as she curled into his side with a smile.
"So, did you hear about..."
"I'm not going out with Neville," I said shaking my head. They both laughed and I grinned.
"Hello, Red," a smirking sort of voice called behind me. I would never confuse that voice in my life. I felt a shiver run up my spine and turned around as my two friends raised their eyebrows at the familiarity in said person's voice.
"Malfoy," I said making him smile in a way only fallen angels should.
"It used to be 'Draco' to you," he answered.
"Eh..." I said smartly. He laughed and I heard Hermione and Harry muttering some excuse to leave us.
"Red?" he muttered moving closer to me and I remembered all the stolen moments between us. All the love and promises before we gave in to what our families wanted of us. Before we foolishly let the other go.
"Yeah, Drake?" I whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist. Electricity ran down through my body like it did back then.
"I missed you," he said moving his lips less than an inch from mine. "I don't want to stay away from you a second more. "
"Then don't..." I answered closing my eyes as he claimed my lips once more. Merlin, Dumbledore, and Morgana... "I still love you."
"As I love you," he muttered against my lips.
I guess that Harry was right after all, I'd only lost a happy ending with him.
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
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