Unofficial Portkey Archive

Think Twice by owanalilypotter
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Think Twice

owanalilypotter

A/N: Hello all! This little story here came into my brain when I saw that so many fanfictions portray James and Lily's marriage as perfect to the max. They never fight, they never bicker, etc etc. I found that very unrealistic and for Merlin's sake this is JAMES and LILY we're talking about! Whether we like it or not, they're going to have fights. Anyways, this is going to be a two-shot and I'm almost done the second chapter. The genre also has Romance in it but the romance comes more in the second chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I were JKR, a prequel about the marauders would have been published a LOOOOOONG time ago. 'Nuff said.

"That's it James! I've had enough!"

A fight had broken out in the Potter household at number 27 Godric's Hollow. The couple that lived there was standing quite a distance away from each other and shouting as though they each were at the opposite ends of a Quidditch pitch. Both were red in the face from yelling and both looked like they were going to file for divorce in the next second.

"You keep on going off and risking your life for the blasted Order while I'm stuck here like a timid housewife wondering where the hell you are at three in the bloody morning!" Lily Potter shouted as her vivid red hair fell in her face. She brushed it aside impatiently. "Has it ever occurred to you that I want to help too?"

James Potter took several deep breaths to try and calm his temper to no avail. "Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want to lose you?" he growled. "Goddammit Lily, people die out there every day in this bloody war and I just want to help you to stay safe!" His would-be calm voice vanished as it rose with every word he said.

Lily let out a scream of frustration. "That's the problem James! You think I'm weak and I can't take care of myself. Well, newsflash! I can take care of myself and I'd feel a lot better it I was out there fighting with you!" Why couldn't James just see how important it was that she fought in this war with him? Did he not know that she spent every lonely night without him worrying about if he was gravely injured by a Death Eater or not? No of course he didn't. She never told him.

For the first time in their argument James said nothing but started blankly at Lily. After a few minutes' silence he opened his mouth and spoke in a voice a great deal calmer than before "I never said you're weak or incapable Lily. I'm just worried that I'll lose you. Do you know how much you mean to me Lily? Do you?" he demanded almost harshly.

Lily nostrils flared as she bit out an answer "Obviously not that much if you're going to just leave me behind while you help people defeated Voldemort." She knew these words were a complete and utter lie but Lily's temper was much harder to dissolve than James'. And when Lily Potter was in a temper, her mouth completely disregarded her brain and tended to say things that were not true or that she didn't mean.

Her answer was the last straw for James however. He slammed a hand on the table beside him in fury so hard that the whole room seemed to quake. "You do not know me at ALL then!" he roared. "I love you more than anything else in this world and I'm not about to stand back and watch you risk your neck to try and stop Voldemort!" James' temper was back up full blast.

Then, Lily said something that she possibly regretted the most in her entire life. "You know what James? Just leave. Get out! Get out of my life and then you'll see how well I can manage all by myself without you in it!"

James didn't say anything. His face was devoid of emotion and his eyes were possibly the coldest Lily had ever seen them. Lily's heart was beating at a frantic pace and her mind was screaming at her asking why on earth she just told the best thing that ever happened in her life to just walk right out of it.

Finally, after what felt like several years, James stormed out of the room and towards the entrance to the house. Lily followed him with emotions from savage satisfaction to unbearable fear pounding inside of her.

"If that's how you feel, then fine." James said in a voice as cold as his eyes. "I'm leaving." And with that said, James pulled open the door and slammed it behind him with a force that made the window beside it shake in its frame. Lily was left starting at a closed door too numb to move even an inch.

It almost seemed surreal. James had left her, and from what she gathered from his tone of voice, forever. The anger that filled her not moments before now vanished completely and was replaced by an unstoppable wave of sadness.

And the worst part it of all was that James left at the time when Lily needed him the most. If he really was going to break up with her, she would not be just a single person; she would be a single person...with a child. What James didn't know was that Lily was a whole month pregnant with their child and this fight was more likely than not just based on out of control hormones. And because of those blasted hormones, this child may not have a father anymore. Lily sank down onto the bottom step of the staircase, wrapped her arms around her knees, and started to cry. This was possibly the worst day in her whole life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Panting heavily, James ran up the stairs of the building where his best friend's Sirius Black's flat resided. He cursed whoever built it for not installing an elevator. His fight with his wife (or at least, he hoped he could still call her that) shook him so badly that he completely forgot that he could do magic and he could apparate right outside of Sirius' flat. Every fibre of his being was screaming at him to go back to Lily and make up with her but if she really wanted him out of his life well then, she got her wish. James himself would rather die than be away from Lily but he had his infuriating need to do whatever he could to make her content. Unfortunately, he was naive enough to believe that Lily was speaking the truth when she said she wanted him out of her life.

But the deed was done and there was no turning back. One of the many downsides of this was that James no had nowhere to live so he headed towards his best friend's house in hopes that he may let James live there for a bit while he looked for a flat of his own. The very thought pained him more than the Cruciatus curse.

When he finally reached the door of Sirius' home he knocked as hard as he could. There was a bit of a shuffling noise before the door opened to reveal the handsome yet slightly battle-worn face of Sirius Black. Said face creased in concern when Sirius saw his best friend standing in the doorway looking forlorn and lost.

"Hey," James spoke in a horse voice "can I stay here for a while?"

Sirius nodded but said nothing; seemingly at a loss for words.

James muttered a word of thanks and stumbled inside the cozy looking living room before collapsing on the couch and hiding his face in his hands. He felt a weight fall beside him and Sirius' voice finally broke the silence, "Why...how....where...why are you...why?" He seemed to have regained his voice but was still unable to form complete and coherent sentences.

James turned to him his eyes bloodshot and told Sirius all about the fight he and Lily had and how she screamed at him to get out of her life. At the end of the retelling Sirius was the one with his face in hands.

"You two are both such berks!" he said, his voice a little muffled because of his hands.

"Excuse me?" James said indignantly

Sirius sprung up from his seat on the couch and started pacing back and forth in front of James. "You two are such idiots!" he exclaimed "You're fighting over something that's not even worth fighting over! Didn't you realize James, that after a while Lily is going to start getting a little irked that all of us are trying to stop Voldemort and she's not? Has it ever crossed your mind that she's worried about you?" Suddenly he ceased in his pacing and fixed James with a fierce glare "And why, Merlin, why James, did you just up and walked out on her after seven bloody years of pining after her?!"

"Hey!" James snapped jumping to his defence as he too rose from the couch. "She told me to leave alright? She made it perfectly clear that she can make it fine with her life without me in it!"

Sirius sighed in exasperation. "Yes James, she can but that doesn't mean she wants too!" he said as though he was explaining one plus one equals two to a five year old. "Have you ever heard of the phrase, `in the heat of the moment'? You know what Lily's like! The fight probably riled her up and made her say something she definitely regretted! If Lily truly wants to live her whole life without you in it, then I'll eat my broomstick."

James let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and muttered, "You weren't there Sirius. I don't think she regretted it at all." He turned on his heel and walked swiftly towards the extra bedroom and closed the door with a sharp snap.

He fell onto the bed and lay motionless there just thinking about what his life would be without Lily in it. Suddenly, before he could stop them, wracked sobs escaped his mouth. He knew for a fact that that life was going to be complete and utter hell.

A/N: Review and I'll update faster!

-->