Today would be the last day Hermione's last name would be Granger.
It was bound to happen eventually. They were inseparable and couldn't stand to not be with each other. I still struggle with the fact that I didn't see it coming while we were still in school. The subtle looks. The meaningful glances. The tiny displays of physical affection. They were all exchanged with such ease that even they didn't know what was happening between them until it was forced in their faces.
I suppose they should thank me for that little tidbit. As I struggled to find my place in the world, I turned to a girl that provided me that raw, physical attraction. It made me feel alive. It made me feel wanted. That didn't please Hermione one bit. The more time I spent with the girl, the more Hermione spent her time with him.
Him.
My best friend.
It's not really stabbing your friend in the back if they don't know they're doing it…is it? Even though most people suspected that I had some sort of - thing - for Hermione, I never announced my feelings to her. How was he supposed to know otherwise? The bastard even asked me to my face if it was okay. What was I supposed to do? Tell him no? Tell him I had dibs? Preposterous. I wasn't raised that way.
So I pretended to be happy for them, all the while pining away and hoping that Hermione would notice the clues. Hoping that she would wonder why I never took on another girlfriend after my brief fling at Hogwarts. Hoping that she would see all the tiny, miniscule things I did for her. Did she not notice the flowers I would leave on her desk?
No.
Apparently not.
Apparently to her, they were just signs of friendly affection. Signs of a friend being supportive of his best friend's marriage. I pushed and pushed, but he treated her well. He wasn't some sort of trollop that left his girlfriend unattended. He always made sure to hold the door open for her. He always made sure to listen to what she had to say even if it was the most boring thing in the world. He was always there for her when she needed someone to back her even she was being unreasonable and conversely, temper her when her unnerving drive for equality got the better of her.
Did that make the difference between me and him?
Hardly. I could do those things. Though Hermione and I had our fair share of arguments, I'd like to think that I grew out of that stage where I refused to lose an argument. I'd like to think that I matured and heard her side of the debate and contributed my side and we would reach a mutual disagreement or understanding. No. That's not what separated us.
Knowing that, I set out to stake my claim. I couldn't possibly let my feelings go unnoticed before it was too late. I had to do it subtly. After all, Hermione would go ballistic if I just announced my feelings of love for her while she was still dating him. I made sure our time alone was meaningful. I always took her out to nice places, always made sure to buy her a small trinket to remember that memory. Perhaps she caught on. Nonetheless, we were best friends. We were allowed to do these things. She even responded to all my gifts better. She always departed with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, making me salivate for more. After several of these exchanges, I took a chance. I took a risk.
The ring.
It was a made of the finest silver with one diamond encrusted in the middle. This ring was my last waning shot at throwing myself in front of her. I still remember the day vividly. We were at one of those fancy restaurants. You know the kind. The ones with the small tables for couples with a freshly scented candle in the middle and low, mood lighting. I dressed well for the occasion, hoping it would be a cherished memory when we grew old together. Hermione was radiant as usual, never one to apply gratuitous amounts of make-up but not one to completely neglect her appearances.
We were both sitting there, laughing gaily as we reminisced on old memories by the lake at Hogwarts. I fiddled with the ring in my pocket, turning it over constantly as the dinner dragged on. My heart was beating quickly, intensifying every time I touched the ring. I must have worn it out at this point, leaving fingerprints all over it, but I didn't care. As dessert came and went, I knew it was time. I had to tell her how I felt. I stood up and cleared my throat which caused Hermione to look at me with an amused smile on her face. It should have been a perfect moment.
But it wasn't.
I spotted him walking into the restaurant, an alarmingly happy smile on his face. He waved at me, grinning from ear to ear. Hermione noticed my gaze and turned around in her chair to spot her boyfriend. She looked questioningly at both of us but smiled at him nonetheless.
"What are you doing here?" She said to him.
He wasted no time. He dropped down on one knee and we all knew how this story unfolded.
Now, as I sit here at their wedding, the ring is still in my pocket. I fiddle with it, wondering why I brought it to this occasion. As the minister asked if anyone was opposed to this marriage, my throat itched and my hand twitched. But I hesitated and no one expected an interjection of any sorts. After all, most of them anticipated they would eventually be together forever ever since school. So I watched her - standing in that wedding dress.
They said their vows and I kept turning the ring over in my pocket, ruminating in my own miserable thoughts as the moment approached. The moment that would seal them as husband and wife forever. He pulled her veil back, flashing a grin that showed the amount of love he held for her. She smiled back in kind, a gentle offering that was nonetheless filled with bridling passion.
"It should've been me," I whispered.
As they celebrated with their friends, I watched from a distance, still holding the ring in my pocket. I pulled it out and turned it over in my hand. What's the use? I dropped the ring and it clattered on the ground with a clang. Taking one last look the shining, silver ring, I took a deep breathe and took my first strides to congratulate Harry and Hermione Potter.
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Inspired by Taeyang's "Wedding Dress"