A/N: This was actually the first fan fic I ever wrote. I wrote this over a year ago and posted it to another site. I was feeling a tad nostalgic today and decided to bring it over to Portkey to share with you guys. I made some small tweaks here and there (there were some truly atrocious phrases), but it's largely intact. Exactly how I wrote it back then. I still like it a lot, even if I like to think I've matured as a writer since then. You'll see a lot of things that I ended up bringing back in "Continental Holiday" as I was just then starting to form the idea of that story back then.
Anyways, hope you enjoy! Cheers!
Disclaimer: forever and ever do not own Harry Potter. Alas, my misfortune.
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Harry sat on the couch in his sitting room lost in thought. His gaze drifted from picture to picture on the opposing wall: The Order of the Phoenix together one last time before disbanding, multiple pictures of Harry, Ron, and Hermione receiving awards, and one picture of the three of them together before the Eiffel Tower on their long-deserved Continental holiday they had taken four summers ago.
Harry stood up and moved into the kitchen for a drink. The kitchen was much like the rest of the house in that it was simple. Blue marble tile with matching counters and bright oak-wood cabinetry. Harry had built it himself with help from Ron and Hermione. He had thought it would be difficult to talk the Department of Historical Sites and Preservation to allow him to rebuild his parent's home in Godric's Hollow, but defeating the darkest wizard of all time had its privileges.
He heard a soft pop from the direction of his front porch before he heard the door opened and knew that Hermione had arrived. He strolled into the foyer and was wrapped in a hug before he knew what hit him.
"Harry! It looks so wonderful! I'm glad you decided to keep the plaque."
Hermione was beaming at him. It was the first time she had seen the completed home. Harry had been of mind to completely remove the plaque that had sat in front of the house during its years as a memorial, but had decided in the end to keep it, albeit with changed wording. After all, part of the reason he had decided to move here was to honor his parents' legacy, so it seemed appropriate that passer-by would still read of Lily and James' sacrifice all those years ago.
"I'm glad you could make it Hermione. How's Ron?"
"Oh he's doing great! He's really helping George with the shop. They're thinking of buying out Honeydukes you know? Don't know if you heard or not but he also is the regional Wizard Chess champion!"
Harry and Hermione moved back into the sitting room and sat on the couch as she filled him in on his other best friend. Ron had moved into Fred and George's flat above Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes in Diagon Alley a few years prior. Partly to help run the store, but primarily to help his brother cope. George was still taking the loss of his twin hard.
"So Hermione, what brings you here?"
Harry had received an owl a week previously that Hermione had wanted to come by. Considering how busy she generally was with S.P.E.W., her multiple consulting gigs, and how she generally just stopped by unannounced, the request had seemed odd.
"Well I hadn't seen you in awhile and I wanted to see the house." Hermione had turned slightly pink however, and something about the look on her face told Harry that there was more to this.
Harry gave her a questioning look. "You want to tell me the real reason you wanted to come by?"
"Well," Hermione again turned pink but was obviously trying to keep her composure, "I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Of course Hermione, what's on your mind?"
"Well, everything has happened so fast after the war ended. Between the whirlwind of the immediate aftermath, getting my parents back, doing all those interviews, your Auror training, S.P.E.W., and everything else…"
Harry got the distinct feeling Hermione wasn't really here to discuss how busy they had all been. He decided to simply let her continue.
"I wanted to ask if you had thought about, well you know, settling down?" It was Harry's turn to blush as Hermione turned scarlet. He hadn't expected this.
"Settling down? Like what, getting married? You know people usually have a girlfriend before they think about getting married."
Truth be told, there had been a time when Harry had thought about getting married. He and Ginny had gotten together in the immediate aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts, but after two years the strain of his auror training, Ginny's last year of school, and the beginning of her career as a chaser with the Chudley Cannons had brought an end to the relationship. They had maintained a friendship and Harry saw her during holidays at the Burrow, but Harry hadn't dated anyone since.
"I know. That's why I wanted to ask about, well, us?" Harry felt a strange mixture of dread and anticipation in his gut. Hermione had locked eyes with him after her statement and seemed to be waiting on pins and needles for his response.
"Us?" Harry finally managed weakly.
"Yes." Hermione suddenly shifted her gaze around the room and bit her lip. "I know it's not something we've ever talked about before…what with Ginny and Ron in the picture."
Hermione's gaze found a picture on the wall of the first Christmas at the Burrow after the war, with Harry and Ginny holding hands and Ron and Hermione looking somewhat uncomfortable next to one another on the other side of the rest of the Weasley clan. Ron and Hermione had never really recovered their relationship after the incident in the Forest of Dean, and while they remained close friends (much to Harry's relief), there had been a measure of distance between them for awhile.
Harry tried to find words. He didn't want to upset Hermione, but had truly been caught off guard. "Can I ask what made you want to talk about this?"
"It was Ginny actually." Hermione paused as if to gauge Harry's reaction, and when it seemed like nothing was amiss she continued. "I spent some time with her during the offseason and we were talking. She told me that way back in our first few years at Hogwarts that she had actually been really jealous of me because of how I was always with you and she asked me if I had ever considered you as a boyfriend."
Harry again felt a strange mixture of reactions. While he had long ago gotten used to people mistaking his and Hermione's relationship (especially other girls), he found himself powerfully curious what the answer to Ginny's question was.
"And what did you tell her?" Harry tried to make the question sound non chalant. He didn't think it worked.
"Well, I told her, truthfully, that I had. During our fourth year. But you seemed enamored with Cho, and I knew that Ron felt something for me. Even if at the time he wasn't mature enough to know what to do with it."
"I never knew that Hermione." The revelation that his best female friend had considered him as boyfriend material truly came as a surprise for him.
"Well I never said anything. Like I said, you really liked Cho, and she was much prettier than me." Hermione suddenly became very interested in her shoes. "But that's actually not what Ginny meant. She was asking if I had thought about it recently."
At this Hermione again seemed to be waiting for Harry's reaction. Harry suddenly felt the room grow a lot warmer.
When it seemed like Harry wasn't going to reply, Hermione spoke again. "Truthfully Harry, I hadn't thought about it until Ginny said something, but…." Again she bit her lip and visibly tensed. "I've been thinking, and you really are the most important man in my life. I mean we spent seven years watching each others' backs, helping each other, saving each others' lives, and saving the world." This last statement made her giggle to herself which seemed to spur her on. "Everywhere I've gone you've been there Harry. Through everything we've gone through you've always protected me. We were a team. Where you couldn't see a solution I helped you find one, when I couldn't find the resolve you gave me courage, and I think you would agree that neither one of us would be sitting here alive if it wasn't for the other."
Hermione stopped and looked at Harry. Harry certainly couldn't argue with anything she said. He had lost count of the times Hermione had been directly responsible for saving his life, and he never would have defeated Voldemort without her; but through all of that he had never thought of the relationship as anything other than brotherly. He hadn't been lying to Ron in the Forest of Dean.
"Okay, that's all true, but Hermione don't you think it was like a brother and sister watching out for each other?"
Hermione seemed to have expected this particular response. "Yes Harry that's what I thought at the time. But it's not just that Harry. You've always been the one person I could count on. When we first saw Ron and Lavender and you followed me and tried to make me feel better, all the time you spent with me while they were going out, all those times you always came to see me in the Hospital Wing, the way you supported me when Ron left us, and how you've been available to me night and day for the past five years despite your busy schedule." Hermione's eyes were shining at this point. "Harry I thought a lot about what I was looking for in a husband the past few years. I told myself I wanted someone who was compassionate, who cared about others, who saw value in people despite their outward appearances, who valued my opinion, who respected me, who wasn't jealous or possessive, who would always be there for me through thick and thin."
Harry was dumbstruck. He and Hermione had very rarely talked to each other about their dating lives, and here was Hermione telling him what she was looking for in a husband. Harry was still having trouble piecing this entire conversation together. "I don't understand…"
Hermione's eyes now shone with tears. "Can't you see Harry?" She remained remarkably calm considering she looked fit to burst at the seams. "I just described you. What I told myself I wanted was right here in front of me all those years." With that a tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek. She had a most Hermione-ish look on her face. That face she always wore when she thought she was right about something.
Harry sat in silence for a few moments. He had truly never expected anything like this from his best friend. He tried to make it make sense in his mind. Had he ever really thought about what he wanted in a wife? Wouldn't he want someone who had his back, who loved him for who he was and not as "The Chosen One" or "Boy Who Lived"? Wouldn't he want someone who challenged him and made him better? Wouldn't he want someone who was kind, compassionate, and wasn't afraid to disagree with him? Wasn't he describing Hermione?
After several more moments in thought, Harry looked at Hermione. "Hermione, you know that I care about you." Hermione looked primed to interrupt but he shook his head and she understood to let him finish. "You know that I couldn't live without you. That I will always be there for you. You know that I love you. What I want to know is why are you telling me this? Where do you want this to go?" Hermione actually burst out laughing.
"You really can be thick sometimes Harry Potter." She smiled and then spoke in that voice that told Harry that she had planned this next sentence out. The way she spoke took him back to the days in which her plans involved dodging death and taking on dark wizards. "I just wanted to tell you about how I am feeling and see what you thought. You don't have to tell me anything right now. I want you to take time and think about it and we'll come back after some time to think separately and decide where to go from there."
Harry thought that while this seemed reasonable, he certainly wasn't sure about the idea in general. Hermione was looking at him with that same hopeful look she had once given him when she thought he might knit elf clothing with her. Harry saw no harm in agreeing to think it over. At least that would give him a chance to process what she had said.
"Okay, we'll do that then. Let's take some time to think about it. When you come back we'll talk about this again and see how we're both feeling."
Hermione beamed at him. "Oh, Harry thank you. I was so worried that you would freak out! That's why I've been sitting on this for awhile, trying to think of how to talk to you about it. Of course you already know how I feel about it now, but I mean something could change. I'll have to think about what it would mean for Ron.." Hermione gasped. "Ron! Oh, Harry what would we tell Ron?" Hermione looked close to panic. Harry had seen Hermione ramble and freak out like this before, but that had usually involved test scores of some kind.
"Calm down Hermione, there's nothing to even tell him about yet." Harry said evenly. Hermione turned scarlet again. "Oh of course. Right. We're just thinking about it is all. Well, I think I should be going now. I'm supposed to be at Gringott's in a couple hours to work with Bill on some new curse breaking spells he's been developing."
Harry escorted her to the entranceway and held open the door for her. As Hermione paused on the lintel she looked into his eyes. For a moment Harry gazed back into her deep brown eyes. He had never realized how pretty they were.
"Well, I'll see you Harry." Hermione said softly, bringing him into a tight hug. "You're everything to me." Harry again looked into her eyes which were shining again and was at a loss for words. Hermione hesitated a second before taking a few steps off the lintel and disapparating.
Harry closed the door and walked to his study. The shelves and top of his desk were covered in items he'd saved from his time at Hogwarts and his many adventures. In a glass case on top of one of the shelves was Gryffindor's sword. A cabinet behind his desk held Dumbledore's pensieve. Harry took his seat behind his desk and leaned back. Hermione's short visit had given him a lot to think about. He reached into the cabinet and brought out the pensieve. Putting his wand to his temple, he slowly pulled a long white strand from his head and put it into the pensieve. He pushed his head forward and disappeared into the memory.
He was standing in the Great Hall during the Yule Ball. He immediately spotted himself with Parvati Patil and Ron with Padma her twin. He turned his gaze however towards the entrance and towards what he was here for. Sure enough right as he looked came Hermione on Viktor Krum's arm.
He didn't see how it took two looks to recognize her when he was fourteen. She was beautiful. He looked back at himself and recognized the look of astonishment on his face. He remembered how he had felt: how he was dumbfounded that he had seemingly never noticed before that Hermione was indeed a girl and a beautiful one at that.
Looking back to Hermione he noticed something he hadn't noticed at the time. Hermione's eyes seemed to be searching the crowd for someone. When her eyes landed on Harry and saw the look on his face she smiled, and Harry thought he saw the smallest look of triumph gleam in her eye.
Leaving the memory, Harry returned to his desk. He brought to his hands a photo that sat at the front of his desk. It was a photo that he, Hermione, and Ron had taken after getting off the Hogwarts Express after their first year. An eleven year old Harry stood between Ron and Hermione. As he gazed into the face of that bossy little eleven year old girl, Harry smiled. Maybe he wouldn't have to think so long about this after all.