Love is Hope: Life after fifth year

***

Harry never said a word about the confrontation when Ron and her had told him they knew he was hiding something, and Hermione had no choice as to let it slide. She supposed there was a good reason Harry was permitted knowledge of secret information, even if he didn’t have the age of being accepted into the Order. Though she rationalised that she wasn’t to know secrets of the order, she still felt thoroughly out of the loop.

She abused her pass for the Restricted Section Hagrid had given her for research on some extinct magical Beasts, for research on Legilimency. Her hope wasn’t to extract the information out of anyone’s head, certainly not Dumbledore’s or Harry’s. If Voldemort couldn’t penetrate their minds, who was she to try. But she wanted to learn about Occlumency. It was the only certain reason Hermione had mustered up for Harry to be entrusted with Order-secrets. Maybe if she mastered it, she would be trusted, too.

She was working on the Wolfsbane potion alongside Harry in one of the dungeon-rooms, when reflecting on this. She’d had to obtain Dumbledore’s help. Maybe she should volunteer herself. She’d read, that to become a sure master of Occlumency, a bit of Legilimency couldn’t hurt.

So if she convinced Dumbledore of letting Harry practising that on her, she could learn Occlumency at the same time... And then maybe, he’d be permitted to tell her the secrets, also. And then Ron would have to study it too, of course...

Lost in excited thoughts she jumped, and consequently blotched up her carefully made basis of the potion, when she heard Dumbledore behind her. Where on earth had he come from?

“You are expected to come with Harry to his Occlumency lesson this evening, Miss Granger. I have matters to discuss with you”

With that he left. Since when had Dumbledore gotten so creepy? Turning to Harry she saw him looking as puzzled as she felt. So he didn’t know everything that went on in the Headmaster’s head...

Hurrying to her Saturday morning lesson with Hagrid she left the bad patch for Harry to get rid of.

***

DA was from now on to be held every Saturday afternoon in an unused class room, half the size of the Great Hall. There weren’t required memberships or anything like that, everyone could come to hear some tips about defences in tight situations. Snape had wanted to meddle and teach them the rules of a proper duel, the only answer he’d gotten out of Harry was: “the bad guys don’t play by the rules”.

It soon was apparent that the bunch was too large for Harry to handle them alone. So after a short speech, he’d called forth the students that were a member of the DA club last year, and hadn’t graduated, to help him. Dividing the students by year, he’d assigned every group an old DA member with a specific task. Since they now had a proper professor teaching the basics, they concentrated on more inventive spells, or more difficult ones for the older students.

Harry, to Hermione’s pride, had planned a lot of the lessons already, and knew what he was doing. Tonks was walking from group to group, correcting mistakes, and giving advice. The noticeable absence of any Slytherin student was ignored anyway, but Hermione couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, alongside the relief of not having to deal with their crap.

Harry had assigned Ginny, Neville and Hermione to deal with first years. Luna, Dean and Susan were working with second years; Hannah, Dennis and Padma with third years; Michael, Colin and Justin with fourth years; Seamus, Lavender, and Anthony with fifth years; Ernie, Parvati and Terry with sixth years; Zacharias, Cho and Katie with the seventh years.

Ron was accompanying Harry on his rounds, when he wanted to demonstrate something. This led to a lot of duelling between the two friends. The fourth until seventh years were immediately launched in learning the Patronus Charm, alongside other defensive spells that weren’t covered in the Defence against Dark Arts class.

With the Dementors on the loose, it was imperative to have as much possible defence against them. After no time she had gone through a few very easy defensive spells with her surprisingly good group of first years; they were of course Ravenclaws... As a treat she let them ask her questions on what they’d learned.

Pondering on how she had been that young when they’d gone after the Philosopher’s stone, she let an enthusiastic red haired boy ask the first question.

“Is it true you’ve had a lot of adventures saving the world with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley?” His classmates groaned and rolled their eyes. “What, it’s a vallid question! If we’re supposed to learn how to defend ourselves, we have to know what we’re up against!”

A haughty blond girl snapped at him: “We just did learn how to defend ourselves, doofus!” Hermione smiled, yep, it had been a good thing Harry assigned her to the first years today, they were full of innocent bravery of fighting the good fight, and blind to the reality.

“If I may, Miss Frankiel, answer Mr. Langhdod’s question. What you’ve learned today will maybe helping you in an actual battle, maybe not, not unless you know how to use your knowledge. You see, Miss Frankiel, there was once a girl of your age here at Hogwarts, who knew everything about trolls, and I do mean everything. She’d read all about them, and memorised all that information. Then one day, she got locked up in a room with one, just one troll...”

She revelled in seeing the kids actually listen to her. Somehow she could relate to those better then she could with Harry and Ron; if she even could get half of that attention from them when she was lecturing them...

“She didn’t know what to do, but try and hide. For you see, even with all her knowledge she didn’t know how to fight the troll on her own. The tactics described in books, mostly were about more then one wizard, and the spells used were too advanced for her even to try. But the biggest problem of all is the fear...”

Now they were really in suspense.

“You know the feeling when you’re so afraid, you can’t think straight, one second you’re thinking too much thoughts at once, the other your brain just shuts down?”

A few nodded, others just kept waiting for her to continue.

“Well, the girl just screamed and tried to escape the club the troll was swinging at her. And she thought herself lost, because she couldn’t find a way to save herself...”

Langhdod couldn’t handle the stalling: “Did she die?”

Hermione smiled: “Do I look dead to you? No Harry and Ron came in and saved me. Do you want to know how they did it?” A lot of them nodded vigorously. “With a simple levitation spell”

“No way!”

“How would a first year be able to levitate a whole troll?”

“Impossible!”

Hermione asked for quiet. “Well, they knew not that much about trolls, and they knew about the same spells you do now, because this happened at Halloween. You’re about to see Wingardium Leviosa with Professor Flitwick, aren’t you?” Again nods.

“Well, first they came in and tried to confuse and distract him away from me. When that didn’t help much, and the troll attacked me again, Harry just jumped up on its back, and somehow trusted his wand into the troll’s nose...”

“Ewww...”

“That of course had the troll taking out his anger on him. So Ron tried the levitating charm, with my guidance, and the troll’s club flew up into the air until it floated above its head. Then he released the charm and the troll got knocked out cold with his own club”

“Wow”

“That’s lame”

“Tell us another story!”

“Been telling them stories, why don’t you do that for us?”

Ron’s voice behind her startled her. Frowning she tried to tell him off with just her gaze. Harry came to stand next to Ron:

“Hermione, you do realise this is a duelling club, not a place where you can lecture defenceless students,” his tone was teasing, but she resented it anyway.

“I’m well aware of that, and since we were finished with your assignment I let them ask questions about it. That’s when it seemed important to me to let them know it wasn’t all about knowing the spells, but knowing how to use them to your advantage. So, yes I told them about the troll being defeated by a first year with the levitation charm...”

Ron seemed to grow a little under the indirect praise Hermione was giving him. “It was of course, like Professor McGonagall said that night, sheer dumb luck, but than again, it makes you wonder what other innocent spells could be used as defence or even offence”

Harry was giving her a look of understanding and respect; addressing the group: “So there’re no problems here? You’re all capable of casting the spells I asked you to learn? Let’s see then”

When Harry was satisfied, he asked for questions too.

This time it was Miss Frankiel who got the first: “What are all the older students learning? The spell with the bits of smoke coming out of it? I heard it’s a very important spell! And when can we learn that?”

“That’s the Patronus charm, and it’s a very hard spell, most adult wizards can’t even really perform it, so I won’t be expecting it from you”

Miss Frankiel was not satisfied with the answer: “Isn’t that the only charm who is supposed to work against Dementors? Why shouldn’t we try to learn it, with Dementors not safely at Azkaban? We should be taught!”

Harry grinned: “Well, Miss Frankiel, if you insist... Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal. Whenever you come to this club, you finish the assignment I give you, and then you’re free to try the charm out. But it’s very hard, and I’ll let Miss Granger lecture you about just how hard it is, ok?”

By the end of the time granted to the DA, Hermione was glad they had permitted first years to participate also. Even if it was true that they didn’t have much of a basis to start from, their Defence against Dark Arts limited itself pretty much to spells against minor dark creatures, they were eager to learn, and had a right to. Of course neither of them had even managed a wisp of smoke with their Patronus Charm, but they were stubbornly hanging on.

***

She had almost forgotten that after dinner she was supposed to accompany Harry to Dumbledore. So full of satisfaction at having taught something useful she barely touched her food. Ron had asked her why she was to go to Dumbledore, but she couldn’t very well answer what she didn’t know herself. She was in such deep thought walking next to Harry that she didn’t even notice they’d already passed the gargoyle in front of Headmaster’s office.

“Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, happy to see you’ve made it. Miss Granger, I suppose you’d like to know why I called you here,” upon seeing her nod, he continued with that damn twinkle in his eyes, “As I understand it, Hogwarts: a History, is one of your favourite readings... Tell me Miss Granger, have you not read the revised edition?”

When he saw her confusion, the tiniest of smiles curled around his lips: “Ah, so you are not aware of the charms around the Restricted Section of our library?”

Letting this sink in, Hermione paled. They had put up wards that functioned as silent alarms, how could she have been so stupid as to forget that it didn’t matter any more if you had a pass or not... As long as you didn’t have permission to view other books then the ones on your permission slip, the wards tipped off the Headmaster! Oh, she was in some serious trouble now...

Shaking slightly she looked at the old professor, his eyes were still merrily twinkling; how could he be so chipper when he was about to throw her out?

“I’m not going to expel you Miss Granger, however I cannot let this one slide without proper punishment, as an activation of those wards will be reported to the governors of this school, and I have to explain how I handled the situation. And if I do understand it, you could be of some help in this case...”

Harry was now looking totally lost about the actual topic of conversation, and Hermione was too mortified to think straight.

“For you see, Harry, when your friend was determined to help you with your Occlumency lessons, she provided us with the perfect excuse to explain her absences: detentions. I have told you that in order to perfect your skills, you should practise some basic Legilimency, and practising on me will not be very fruitful. Miss Granger, in her quest to expand her knowledge of what we were doing during our private lessons, abused her Care of Magical Creatures pass for the Restricted Section to look up texts about Legilimency and Occlumency. Fortunately, the wards will not automatically report to the governors just what books you have been reading, Miss Granger, so I have arranged for the report to state that you went a little too far in your quest about Dangerous Beasts. You will understand that this lie is crucial, since it would be highly suspicious if it came out just *which* books you really were reading...”

Hermione saw Harry looking incredulous at her out of the corner of his eye. She felt so stupid and humiliated; how could she have let this happen?

Dumbledore continued merrily: “So, Miss Granger, how would you feel to be a test subject for Harry’s start in Legilimency?”

It wasn’t like Hermione could refuse, even if she originally did want to ask Dumbledore just that, she would’ve liked it to be on her terms. Now there was no mention about her learning Occlumency, and she hadn’t time to prepare for the fact that Harry was going to see inside her mind, her most private part. She felt naked and scared, but nodded anyway.

“Splendid, Harry, you know the spell, do try...”

Harry looked unsure: “But, professor Dumbledore, shouldn’t Hermione know... I mean, she’s defenceless, isn’t that a bit harsh for a punishment?”

Twinkle-twinkle: “Are you so sure you’ll succeed the spell on your first try Harry? And I do believe every mind has some natural defences you’ll have to breach. I do not think Miss Granger will need to know Occlumency just yet”

Harry looked at Hermione like he’d rather run out of there as soon as possible. She didn’t blame him, it was one thing to know your best friend well, but looking in his or her mind... Hesitantly he brought up his wand and shouted “Legilimens!”

Hermione, suppressing her nervousness, saw the spell coming and tried to rid her mind of all thoughts. Feeling like a slight prodding in her brain, like what she felt when something was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t quite recall it, she pushed it away effortlessly. The prodding increased a bit, before disappearing completely.

Opening her eyes she looked at Harry accusingly: “You didn’t even try! You have to will memories out of my mind! Try again!”

In her passion for perfection, Hermione had totally forgotten Dumbledore was in the room, and was fuming at the way Harry was taking it easy on her. Not realising that by giving her annoyance free range, she was letting her guard down, Harry struck her again.

This time she didn’t see the curse coming and it seared through her mind, snapshots of memories flashed through her mind, too rapidly to recognise the scenes... She was unable to do anything to stop the assault. When Harry lifted the curse she was on hands and knees on the floor. Dimly she registered Harry talking to Dumbledore, while he helped her up.

“I didn’t catch anything, it was too fast”

“You have to concentrate on seeing what she doesn’t want you to see. And force the information to slow down when it reaches your mind”

Standing again, she saw Harry looking at her concernedly: “Are you all right?”

Nodding and clenching her teeth she refused to let on to the massive headache she felt coming on.

Determined to put up more of a fight this time, she concentrated. But that didn’t seem the right course of action. The more she concentrated on pushing away thoughts, the more she obtained the opposite. Harry struck her again, and again she was unable to block him. The flashes slowed down a bit and she started to recognize the scenes. Hoping against all hope that they would still be too fast for Harry to understand she tried to force him out.

*Flash, flash*

... She was back at the yard of her elementary school, surrounded by the girls of her class. One of the rare occasions they’d succeeded to corner her without a teacher in sight. They were tearing leaf after leaf from her favourite copy of Great Expectations, making cruel remarks ...

*Flash, flash *

... Her first week at Hogwarts, getting cornered in the girl’s bathroom by Parkinson and Bullstrode. They were making fun of her hair and buckteeth, telling her she was unworthy of studying magic ...

*Flash *

... Ron and Harry laughing about her not having any friends, after the memorable Charms lesson, when they’d studied Wingardium Leviosa ...

*Flash*

... Ron and Harry when they saw she had turned herself into a human-cat after the Polyjuice adventure ...

*Flash*

... Ron when he screamed at her that Crookshanks had eaten Scabbers ...

... Harry looking at her in contempt when he learned she had ratted him out about the Firebolt ...

*Flash, flash*

... Snape saying he saw no difference when her front teeth had been hit by Malfoy’s enlargement charm ...

*Stop*

... Ron at the Yule Ball when he embarrassed her by saying she was betraying Harry by going out with Krum, the enemy ...

*Please, stop*

... Cho and her friends on the train ...

*No!*

Before she could loose herself completely, because she had no control on stopping him from seeing further, the assault stopped. She was again on her hands and knees, with no memory on how she got there. She was trembling and panting heavily. With awareness came the headache full force.

She felt like she was holding on but barely. She felt Harry’s arms come around her and ask her if she was ok. The last thought that made it into her mind was: ‘I should’ve eaten more at dinner’, before giving in to the exhaustion she felt.

***

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