Heading the School

Chapter Twenty-Five

"There has been a death in this house/as lately as today," Lily whispered to herself as she walked up the familiar gravel walkway to her house. She looked at each pebble along the way, remembering all that had happened along those steps.

Petty had pushed her down because Lily had tripped her accidentally, she still had the scars on her knees. She sat on the steps waiting for her Mummy and Daddy to bring Oliver home. She sat on this path when she had first received her Hogwarts letter. James had kissed her on the front porch, their first kiss, she had rejected him, of course...

"Lily?" James asked. She had forgotten that he, Sirius, and Remus were standing around her.

"Yeah," she put her hand on the door and opened it.

Inside, there was silence. Petunia was obviously not letting anyone stay, and for good reason. The living room was a mess of spellmarks and ruined furniture. Lily stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at it, blankly. She could see three separate areas; one on the floor next to the television, one in a ruined piece of chair next to a table with a knitting needle and a cold cup of tea, and a third in a burned recliner next to a cold pipe.

"What are you doing here?" came a booming voice. Lily turned, slowly and took in the sight of Vernon Dursley. James and the other two marched over to him and began arguing, but Lily didn't hear them.

She could imagine the scene. Oliver was probably watching the television on the floor, laying on his stomach with his hands holding up his tiny little head. His legs were probably bouncing up and down behind him. Her mother was sitting at her favorite chair, sipping daintily out of a cup, knitting some sort of knickknack. Her father was most likely reading the evening post, smoking on his pipe and relaxing after a hard day at the shop.

"You have no right to talk to me that way!"

"I'll talk to you any damn way I want! You can't keep her away from her family!"

"Her family doesn't want her here!"

Then the doors burst open. From the looks of things, it would only have taken one or two Death Eaters to finish them off. Maybe she would give them the benefit of the doubt and say three.

"So you think its her fault that they were killed?"

"Why not? She said that she was involved in this sort of thing!"

They came in swiftly, as she had seen them do, and probably said a few words of taunting before letting loose. Three Avada Kedavra's. Hopefully nothing else, but she knew from experience that killing was rarely ever without torture.

She could hear them screaming.

"This is not her fault! There is no excuse for what they do. No reason!"

Slowly, she sunk to the floor next to the burn mark that was her brother and touched the carpet. Perhaps they had been lenient. He was a boy, after all, barely eleven years old.

Maybe they hadn't even felt it.

"You will leave this house. And take her with you!"

"She has a right to be here!"

"It's her house too!"

Lily looked up from where she was sitting to finally pay attention to the argument. Vernon was purple in the face, and so was James. Sirius was furious, and Remus was burning with a quiet fury.

"Where's Petty?" she asked, quietly. The four stopped talking at the sound of her voice.

"She is not here," Vernon declared. "She is at our home, wrecked with misery because of you-"

"I want to see her," Lily said, quietly.

"I will not allow it!"

"She can see her sister if she bloody wants to see her!" James exclaimed, igniting them into another argument.

Lily looked at the floor and then stood up, Disapparating. James, Sirius, and Vernon were too busy yelling at each other to notice.

"Wait a minute!" Remus quieted them. "Where did Lily go?"

"Probably to Petunia's place," Sirius said.

"What?!" Vernon roared. James pulled out his wand and pointed it at him.

"Listen up you. I don't care if you hate us with all of your very being. You will keep a civil tongue around Lily for the remainder of the week until the funeral is over. And be a dear and pass it along to your wife as well."

"I don't have to take orders from you-"

James turned and pointed his wand at a pillow, blowing it up into a million pieces. He then reared on Vernon again.

"Do I make myself clear?"

Brought down a few notches, Vernon nodded meekly.

"Petty?" Lily asked, appearing in the middle of their flat. She saw the crisp white couches that were a gift from Vernon. She idly wondered if Oliver had ever been allowed to sit on them. But no, probably not, as they were too clean.

"Vernon?" Petunia said, coming out of her bedroom. She wasn't looking too good either; her eyes were red and her nose was stuffy. When she got a good look of who was standing in her living room, she glowered.

"What are you doing here?"

"Petty..." she walked over to her.

"Get away from me, Freak!" Petunia sputtered. "It's your fault that their dead!!!"

"I'm so sorry, Petty," Lily continued, as if she hadn't heard what she was saying.

"You should be," Petunia said. "Where is Vernon?"

Lily sank to the ground. "Do you think they hurt?"

"I don't know!" Petunia snapped.

"Did you find them?"

"No, by the time I was there, the house was already swarmed with your kind of people!"

"Hug me?" Lily asked, holding out her arms.

"What is wrong with you?" Petunia sputtered.

"Do you really hate me still?" Lily asked, looking up.

"Of course I do!" Petunia snapped.

"Mum wouldn't want you to hate me."

Petunia stopped her raving and looked at her sister. She could see the paleness and the borderline look in her eyes. Petunia could see that her sister was feeling just as guilty as Petunia wanted her to; but Petunia suddenly didn't want her to feel that way anymore.

"Lily..." she sighed. "Lily, go home."

"Hug me?" she asked again. Petunia bent down to help her sister into a standing position and then gave her a brief hug. Lily wouldn't let her go though.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"I..."

"I'll go now," Lily sighed, stepping away and disappearing from in front of her.

A great thundering came from outside her door and it swung open. Vernon, and the three other boys came spilling into the room.

"Where is she?" James asked, the same time that Vernon asked, "Are you all right?"

"Yes, she's gone. I don't know where," Petunia said, putting her tissue to her nose daintily. "Vernon, I'm still feeling ill, so I think I shall retire."

And she left the four males looking quite perplexed as she closed her bedroom door behind her.

Nearly the entire town was packing into the small church where the three opened coffins were laid out. There was a small murmur going on throughout the room, as most of the talk was the horrible gas leak that had killed the three nicest people you could ever find.

Petunia was sitting on the front row, dressed elegantly in a black dress. Vernon was to her left, wearing a stuffy black suit and looking quite self-important next to his slight-looking wife. There was none of his over-large family present, as they all had other engagements to attend.

The murmur came to a complete halt when Lily appeared in the doorway. She walked along the rows between the pews without a look at anyone. She reached the front of the church, where her family lay in front of her.

Her mother looked beautiful, wearing her best dress. Her father, stately in his church suit. And her little brother...

"Lily, let's sit," James nudged her. "Look, Petunia's saved us a seat-"

Lily tore her eyes away from her family to her sister. Petunia had ordered Vernon to scoot down to make room for the two of them. She gave her a weak smile and sat down next to her sister, clinging to James' hand.

"Where are the other two?" Petunia asked, civilly.

"They went to go find another seat," James explained, in the same civil voice.

The service began instantly. Lily didn't remember much of it, then again she wasn't an extremely religious person. She couldn't quite concentrate on anything else but the three sleeping faces in front of her.

People began standing to go pay their respects to the people. Some of Oliver's school friends and football teammates were there, crying silently next to their mothers. His football coach placed his jersey inside the coffin, and shook his head, sadly. His teachers came up as well, some crying, some watching.

The line seemed endless. Lily heard a sound next to her and turned finally to look at James. Tears were streaming down his face and he was trying to keep it to himself, unsuccessful.

"Sorry," he muttered, wiping his eyes.

"James-"

"I just...he was like my little brother-" he said, his voice tight.

"I know, James," she put her head on his shoulder, comfortingly.

"I never..." he shook his head. "My mum had complications, she couldn't have another kid-"

Lily rubbed the top of his hand. "I never knew."

"And I thought that he could be the little brother I n-never had," he turned away from her, ashamed that he was losing control in front of her.

The line was becoming smaller. Petunia had gone to pay her respects already with Vernon and had left, patting the handkerchief under her nose daintily. Once or twice, Lily tried to get up, but found that she could not. James had been able to, and had left the church, so she sat there alone.

"Lily?" The minister said, finally. "Lily, honey, it's time for you to say goodbye. We're taking them to the cemetery now."

Lily looked up at him, and nodded, standing. She approached the coffins, slowly as if in a dream. She had been hearing that her parents were dead for the past few days, but as she saw them, lying in their mortal beds, the weight of the situation fell upon her.

They were real. They were gone. The bodies in front of her were the most important people in her life. She dared to reach down to touch her mother's face, expecting it to be warm. But it wasn't. It was cold. Her mother's face, which looked full of life through the aid of makeup, was cold.

She walked to the next coffin, her father. He was cleanly shaved. She remembered seeing him get dressed in his Sunday suit to take them out to breakfast. Her mother would adjust his tie lovingly and comment on how handsome he looked. She looked down at his hands, which were folded across his chest. The fingernails were still packed with oil and grease, and were rough with calluses.

She bent down and kissed his cheek. "I'm so sorry, Daddy. I'm sorry I lied. Don't hate me, please..."

She stepped back away from him, saying her silent goodbye. Finally, she approached the only white coffin. Oliver was laying inside, his jersey and other apparel by his side. He looked like he was just sleeping.

"I'm so sorry, Oliver..." she said, the tears falling again. "I'm sorry that you couldn't ever get to play on the team. I'm sorry that you had to-"

"Lily..."

She turned around and saw James standing behind her, broom in hand.

"James, what?"

"I don't feel right..." he stepped up to the coffin. "He was so good on my broom, better than I was..."

"James-"

He placed the broom next to Oliver. "He can have it, I was going to give it to him anyways..."

Then he reached inside his cloak and pulled out a long wooden box. Lily looked at it, confused. "What is that?"

"Oliver and I...we went to Diagon Alley," James said, sniffing. "And we found his wand last Christmas."

"You..."

"And...I thought he might want it," he pulled out the wand. "Ten inches, willow, and unicorn hair."

She touched it gingerly. "You went without me?"

"It was going to be a secret...I wanted to make sure," he said, looking at it.

"Dumbledore told me that he would be coming next year," Lily swallowed. "He would have made a great Seeker." She said before dissolving into tears again.

"Yeah," James nodded, trying to keep his composure. "Come on, Lily, let's go."

"All right. Can I...?" she gestured to the wand. James nodded and handed it to her. She approached the coffin and bent down to kiss Oliver on the forehead. She placed the wand in his hands and stared down at him. Words failed her and she turned away to James' waiting arms.

"Miss Evans?"

Lily looked up to see Professor Dumbledore watching her and James kindly.

"Professor, what are you doing here?" she asked. She rubbed the tears away from her eyes and turned to see him, not looking up though.

"I have come to check up on my students," he said, quietly,walking over to the coffin. "You should not feel guilty that your family was one of the many innocents that have been lost," he began, quietly. "Nor should you be ashamed of your feelings of grief. I wish that these would be the last casualty in this long battle, but I am afraid that there will be more." He turned to look at them. "You may, one day, find that you yourselves maybe lost to this cause."

"There was no reason to...." Lily started, but couldn't finish. The lump in her throat was too big.

"Your family is the reason why we are fighting this war," Dumbledore pressed. "To protect those who cannot protect themselves, to make sure that none of this ever happens again, that is our mission." His face softened. "Though, I will understand if you do not wish to follow this particular path anymore-"

"No..." Lily rubbed her eyes. "Even though..." The lump was growing again.

"Miss Evans, I do have ears, and they do listen quite well for my old age," his eyes sparkled slightly. "I went to your parents a few days before their passing, and had a nice long talk with them about what it is that you are involved in."

"Y-You did?" Lily said, looking up to him.

"I did, indeed. Once they had a clear picture, and if I may say so, Mr. Potter was not the best choice of a newsbreaker-" James blushed, "-they were much more willing to accept your career decision. In fact," he pulled out a letter from his pocket and placed it in Lily's trembling hands.

Dearest Lily,

Your father and I would like to apologize for our behavior in this matter. Mostly your father, though his hands are too dirty to write a letter, so I am writing for him. He is very sorry that he said the things he did to you, but he still wishes you had told him the truth.

Lily, we love you and hope that nothing bad ever happens to you. However, in this world that Professor Dumbledore has explained to us, we now see that you are trying to make a difference, and, thus far, have been braver than most twice as old as yourself, something your father and I are exceedingly proud of. We just hope your brother takes a safer route of career choice.

There was more, but Lily was in near hysterical sobs, so she could not read anymore.