The Diary

Chapter Twelve - The Advice

Disclaimer: Things I own: a wallet, a pitiful amount of cash and some candy. Note that Harry Potter is not included in aforementioned list.

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2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to

“Breathe (2AM)” - Anna Nalick

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Two weeks passed by before Lily decided that her observations went beyond paranoia. Everyone was, in fact, acting somewhat abnormally. She wasn't entirely sure why, but it was definitely noticeable. After explaining her speculations, Emily replied, “Of course they're acting differently around you. You've made a breakthrough.” Lily gave her a look of confusion, to which Emily responded, “Your confrontation with Potter, Lily. Did you forget about that already?”

The ensuing conversation was strange enough that Lily felt the need to discuss it with her other close friend, Roscoe. She brought it up that night.

It's rather odd. People have been behaving differently.

Is that a good or a bad thing?

Good, I suppose.

So what's the problem?

I don't know… Emily said they respect me now.

Any clue as to why?

According to her, my physical attack on a Marauder.

Ah.

But what does she know?

I sense some resentment.

To be honest, she's been getting on my nerves lately.

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James froze. Was this what he'd been waiting for? Would Evans finally have something worthy of blackmail?

How so?

Well, she doesn't seem to understand the whole dating issue. She thinks it's funny, but it really does irritate me. Emily likes to tease me about it, but I know she thinks I'm being stupid about it. It's… disappointing. She doesn't get it.

He really wanted to end the conversation right then and there, but something told him to keep her talking.

Have you talked to her about it?

No…

Perhaps you should fix the “dating issue”.

You've lost me.

I mean you stop the barrage of invites.

And how would I do that? Stop talking to people?

She really didn't get it, did she? James rolled his eyes.

No, no. You really have no idea?

Clearly, or else I would have done it earlier.

Good point.

Are you going to tell me or not?

You're not going to like it, you know.

Anything to stop it.

Anything?

Well, no, not really. But it can't be that bad.

Are you sure?

No.

What? No?

Of course I'm sure! Just tell me.

It was humorous how easy it was to antagonize her.

No need to get feisty, Ms Evans. All you have to do is turn them down in public.

I did that on my birthday, and that sure didn't stop them.

That was different.

How?

They were all in on it, right? So they knew you were just doing a mass rejection, and that they weren't serious about it.

Assuming that's true, how would I make sure that it's different this time around?

The next time someone asks you to Hogsmeade or wherever, you say, rather loudly, “No thanks, I'm not interested in dating anyone right now.”

James was rather proud of his solution. He'd thought of it falling asleep one night after discussing the issue with Evans.

That's it?

Well, you might have to do it more than once.

That doesn't seem like it will work.

It will. Right now, there is little risk in asking you out, as you pull them aside and do it privately. Make it a public affair, and that will automatically lower the number of requests. The fact that you make it known that you're not holding out for anyone, that you aren't interested in anyone, will make that number almost nonexistent.

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Lily considered Roscoe's proposal. It did make some sense, and it was better than doing nothing. But that meant publicly humiliating some poor boy in front of everyone. Could she handle that?

I know it might seem cruel, but it's not really. They're putting themselves up on the chopping block. Plus, you can still be nice about doing it. You don't have to break his heart or anything. It sounds harder than it really is.

How would you know?

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Obviously not from personal experience, but I have my sources.

She needed to get over this, James told himself, or she'd never spend any time on prank-worthy material.

Just try it.

I don't suppose you have any back up plans prepared.

Nope, just the one, sorry.

Fine. It's better than doing nothing.

Make sure you let me know how it goes.

Of course.

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Lily didn't have the opportunity to try out Roscoe's plan for several days. She was sitting in the common room with Emily, Adam and Matilda when Spencer Caldin approached her. Lily, of course, guessed at what was coming, and decided to take action. Come on, Lily, just do it!

“Lily, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked, eyes flitting around her circle of friends. His intention was obvious, but Lily ignored it.

“Sure. What did you want to talk about?” she replied seemingly nonchalantly. On the inside, of course, she was somewhat terrified, but she'd practised this; Roscoe had insisted on that.

Her unexpected response threw him off. “I was hoping we could talk alone…” Spencer shuffled his feet.

She smiled kindly at him, then gestured at her suddenly silent friends. She could see the way the were trying so very hard not to look like they were listening in. “They'll find out anyway.”

“Oh, er, okay…” His blatant discomfort made Lily want to consent to a private conversation, but she was prepared. “Well, I was wondering if, you know, you wanted to go out sometime.” Spencer's eyes were firmly fixed on the ground.

Forcing herself not to give in, Lily remained firm and said the line she'd rehearsed a little louder than she normally would. “I'm flattered, Spencer, really, but I'm not interested in dating anyone right now.” At the sight of his fallen expression, she added, “It's not you specifically; I'm turning down all offers. Sorry.” He nodded and quickly hurried away.

Lily took a deep breath and felt her heart rate begin to slow down. She mustered up the courage to look at her friends' expressions. They were stunned, to say the least. Emily stood up and crossed over to Lily, and placed the back of her hand on Lily's forehead. Removing it after a moment or two, she took a step back, and extended her arm.

“Congratulations, Ms Evans,” she said with a mildly confused smile. Lily rolled her eyes and shook the proffered hand.

“It's not that big of a deal,” Lily insisted.

Matilda laughed. “Ha! `Not that big of a deal?' This, from the girl who was petrified when a boy offered to carry her books? When have you ever turned down someone in public willingly? This is a very big deal!”

Adam shook his head and chuckled. “She's got a point, you know.” A pillow hit him in the face before he could continue speaking. Removing it, he glared at Lily, who only scoffed and pointed at a devilishly grinning Emily.

That night in the girls' dormitory, Emily plopped down on the edge of Lily's bed. “I, for one, am proud of you, Lily. You finally did something about it.” Lily's face flushed slightly, and she mumbled something indistinctly while putting her book down. “I mean that.”

Lily's face formed a faint smile as she tucked her hair behind her ears. “How on earth did Spencer ever ask you out in the first place? He was barely standing after I was done with him, and you're much more intimidating than I am.”

“Simple,” Emily said. “I asked him.”

Sighing, Lily responded, “Of course you did.”

“Lily Evans - master of Charms, Potions and Rejecting Boys.”

Lily leaned forward with an impish look on her face and pushed her clear off the bed. “Goodnight, Emily.”

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It only took a couple more incidents before word got around that Lily wasn't accepting dates, period. Or so Emily explained. She seemed to have a lot of insight into the matter that she had previously been withholding.

“And why, pray tell, did you not tell me earlier?” Lily had demanded.

“There are some things you need to learn on your own, Lily Evans,” Emily had replied with a thoughtful nod.

Emily speculated that people had assumed she was holding out for one person, while others wanted to see if Lily “turn-`em-down” Evans would say yes to them. The made-up nickname caused Lily to fling carrots at Emily. Her friend had admitted, however, that she had not thought of Lily's chosen solution. Emily's plans had involved Lily yelling at the top of her lungs in the Great Hall that she was off-limits, a comment that earned her another round of catapulted vegetables.

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The execution of the scheme had only taken two weeks, as the episodes had happened fairly quickly. It appeared that some wanted to verify the rumours flying around, and their rejections lead to a speedy resolution of Evans' problem. James, of course, had secretly listened to every piece of gossip about her that he could. She hadn't brought up the issue since he'd coached her, and he hadn't prompted her, leaving James in the dark as to how she was doing.

He'd watched her with Spencer that first night, out of the corner of his eye, and he could tell she was nervous beyond belief. Evans had covered it nicely, though, and Caldin was a good candidate. He was shy around girls he liked, but could handle rejection better than most. James attributed Caldin's poor performance to nerves and an unforeseen twist. When Spencer had walked away, James had allowed himself a small smile at the sight of Evans' obvious relief.

Everyone now knew that Evans wasn't interested, and he felt a spark of happiness that he had been able to influence her life in a somewhat drastic manner.

He was still plagued, however, by concerns about the diary issue. Evans had let slip a few nasty comments about some people, but he himself had ended her spat with Wood. So James was left with a dilemma. It was almost the end of the year, and he still hadn't finished what he'd started back in March. He'd pranked loads of other people with the aid of his friends, but he'd yet to bring this particular one to a conclusion. Should he draw it out to the coming school year, or just end things now? What information James did have didn't wasn't much. Plus, he thought, he had an unprecedented amount of sway over Evans now.

But his natural Gryffindor tendencies had prevented him from exploiting it. James had discovered he sometimes looked forward to his chances to secretly tease Evans, something he had not anticipated. What was he to do?

It was at this moment, of course, that Evans decided to write to Roscoe.

It worked!

James put his train of thought on hold, deciding to come back to it later.

Not even a greeting, then?

Hello. It worked!

I was wondering how you were managing. Are you positive?

There was a lunchtime discussion with Emily today, one in which she explained the success. Her thoughts on this are actually pretty similar to yours, only she didn't have a decent plan. Thanks, by the way.

It's in the job description.

Still, it's nice to know that I won't have to worry about this so much. I almost wish there was another Hogsmeade before the end of term, just so I could enjoy not getting asked.

I almost wish I hadn't helped you. Now I can't make any rejection jokes. Then again, I feel obligated to tell you this won't stop all offers.

I know, but it's better than nothing. Much better.

Ah, then there is still hope for me.

Like you said, it will be a rare occurrence. Hopefully. But who says I'll tell you about the offers I do get?

I know you, and you'll tell me.

Maybe.

You will.

You know me too well, it's almost frightening.

Almost.

It just occurred to me that you've helped me out a great deal, but I haven't done anything in return.

So? I don't really have any problems. If I did, though, I'd know where to go.

Still…

I am supposed to be the advice-giver, am I not?

True.

Besides, your writing to me is thanks enough. I'd be bored out of my mind otherwise.

You are only a mind, how can you leave it?

Some friend you are, pointing out my lack of existence…

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James lay in bed, trying unsuccessfully to sleep. He still hadn't made up his mind about what course of action he should take. Evans' words kept running through his head. “You know me too well.” Did he? It didn't feel like it.

But it was only a couple weeks ago that he'd been able to read her mood by her body language. This is too complicated, he thought as he rolled over onto his other side. Punching his pillow into a more comfortable shape, he resolved to continue writing over the summer. Hopefully something would happen with a change of scenery, and the answer would come to him.

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On the other side of Gryffindor Tower, Lily was busy contemplating the same phrase. Why had she written that? Because it's true. It had only been two months, but Roscoe had somehow become one of her best friends. How strange, she thought, to be friends with someone who wasn't really a person.