The Diary

Chapter Eighteen - The Aftermath

Disclaimer: How many times must I reiterate this? Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, her publisher, etc. I'm not making a cent off this.

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All about chemistry
Won't you show me everything you've learned
I'll memorize everything you do to me so I can
Teach it when it comes my turn

“Chemistry” - Semisonic

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“How'd it go?” Sirius asked as he lounged in the common room. Students filtered in from the village, arms laden with sweets and joke products.

James sank into the chair next to him. “Fine,” he replied.

“Just fine?” He raised an eyebrow. James shrugged. “So what's the problem?”

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “That's the thing - I've no idea. Nothing went wrong.”

“And?”

“And… I don't know.” James leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. “It was like I was waiting for… more? If that makes sense.” He opened his eyes and looked at his friend for a response.

Sirius appeared to be contemplating the matter. “You fancy Sarah?”

After a moment, James replied, “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“That sounded convincing.” He smirked.

“Why shouldn't I fancy her? She's attractive, she's a great snog, and she doesn't ask me stupid questions about magical creatures,” James said indignantly. Sirius gave him a peculiar look, prompting James to add hastily, “Don't ask.”

“Do you want me to be honest with you, mate?” Sirius asked. James nodded. “You sound like you're trying to convince yourself.”

James didn't say anything for a while. “What do you say to something like that?” he mused.

“You said you were looking for `more.' I am not you, James - don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm not - and I have no clue what you mean by that.” As an afterthought, Sirius asked, “And what was that about magical creatures?”

“Nothing,” James instantly responded. “But more…” What did he mean? This had happened on his last date with Sarah, when he'd been foolish enough to bring up the house-elf matter with her. “The last time I went out with her, I tried to talk to her.”

Sirius creased his eyebrows. “Were you silenced or something?”

“No,” James shook his head and struggled to find the words. “I mean, I tried to talk to her about… Well, it sounds stupid now, but I tried to talk to her about- about a serious issue.” He couldn't bring himself to admit to discussing house-elves on a date.

“Me?” Sirius quipped, eliciting a groan from James. “Really, though. Why is that so important?”

“I wanted… I wanted to talk to her about something. I was halfway through the date and I realised I didn't know anything about Sarah. All I know is that she's a Hufflepuff girl in our year.”

“And she likes to snog you senseless.” James rolled his eyes. “What happened?”

James' fingers found his hair again. “She agreed with me and I dropped it.”

“Strange indeed, Mr Potter.” Sirius sat back in his chair and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Did you want her to disagree with you?”

James looked down at the floor. He opened his mouth to reply but shut it without making a sound. “I- No? I don't know; that's why I asked you.” He was surprised to hear his friend laughing. “What's so funny?”

“You're so wound up about this, you remind me of Evans.”

James' eyes widened dramatically. “What? I do not!”

“You know how she gets about these things; she's famous for it, and here you are, James Potter, worrying about your conversational skills.” He chuckled.

“I resent that; I'm just concerned, that's all. And at least I've been on a date. Evans can't say that much,” argued James.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Funny you should mention that. She has, actually.”

James scoffed. If anyone knew if Evans had been on a date, it would be Roscoe. “When?” he challenged.

“Today,” Sirius replied simply.

Today? But James had seen Evans in the Entrance Hall with her friends. She hadn't had a date then, and she was definitely not the sort to abandon her friends for a boy at the last minute. “With who?”

“Greg Mackavoy.”

“That Hufflepuff bloke?” Sirius nodded. “How do you even know that?” James asked incredulously.

“Matilda told me.” James turned his head to examine the common room. He spotted Emily, Matilda and Adam by the windows. Where was Evans?

Nothing added up. Emily hadn't pranked the Marauders and Evans had gone on a date. James furrowed his eyebrows.

“Problem?” Sirius asked innocently.

“What?” James looked back at his friend. “No,” he said dismissively. Sirius snorted. “Is Evans still in the village?” he wondered out loud.

“Think so. I haven't seen her, and I came back before most of the others,” said Sirius. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason. Just curious.” James was too busy watching Emily Wood to catch the smirk on Sirius' face.

The sudden appearance of a certain redhead in the common room did catch his attention; James and half the Gryffindor population were stunned at the scene that unfolded in front of them.

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Lily climbed the seven levels to the entrance of Gryffindor Tower, all the while mentally going over her day. She'd gone on a date. It still seemed like a foreign concept. Emily had set her up, and Lily was not grateful. She'd been mortified when she'd had to tell Greg she hadn't actually agreed to anything.

The last she'd seen of Emily, her friend had practically radiated pride. What had Emily been thinking? She knew how nervous Lily could become. It wasn't that she was scared, Lily told herself like she had many times before; it was that she didn't want it. It was silly. She nodded to cement it in her mind and gave the password to the Fat Lady.

Once in the common room, Lily's eyes flicked around in search of her traitorous friend. She was with her two accomplices, and based on the smug grin spreading across her face, she had spotted Lily as well.

Lily marched across the room and towered over Emily. She pursed her lips, demanding an explanation. “How did it go?” Emily asked innocently.

Her superior tone sent off sirens in Lily's head. Emily wasn't the least bit sorry! She'd forced Lily into something she had absolutely no interest in doing, and didn't bother to apologise for it! Lily could feel the blood racing through her veins. The frustration and the tension she had carried throughout the day overwhelmed her. She grabbed a throw pillow and began to assault Emily.

Emily covered sheltered her head with her arms. After a few blows, she leapt up and snatched the pillow out of Lily's hands. Irritated at the removal of her weapon of choice, Lily clenched her fists and cried, “What were you thinking?” Her friend had the nerve to look startled. “Why would you do that?”

Emily took the smallest step away from Lily. “Er…”

Lily didn't back down “That was completely uncalled for! Do you think I enjoyed that? How would you like to break it to someone that No, sorry, I didn't actually want to go out with you today?”

She was broken out of her rant by a hand on her arm. Lily turned and saw a very worried Matilda. “Lily,” she said softly.

Lily followed Matilda's gaze to Emily's face. Her mouth was parted slightly, her eyes as wide as Galleons.

For some reason, this made Lily even more upset. With a final harrumph, Lily whipped around and stormed up the girls' tower.

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James was absolutely floored. He'd never seen Evans so livid at anyone, and he would never have expected Emily to be the victim of one of her tirades.

“That was different,” remarked Sirius. “Think she's a bit upset?”

“Impressive, even for her,” replied James.

“Yeah. She usually reserves that level of hate for you.”

James rolled his eyes, but Sirius did have a point. James had seen Evans that mad; it was usually just directed at him.

Wait. James' mind finally caught up with his eyes. Evans had gone up to her room, and was undoubtedly waiting for her diary to turn up so she could write about her day. This was something James did not want to miss; he was immensely curious about her mystery date. He gave a vague excuse to Sirius and hurried up to his dormitory.

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As soon as she entered her room, Lily immediately opened her diary and wrote a greeting to Roscoe. After a few moments of no response, she threw the book onto her bed in frustration. She glared at it and furiously scribbled a message onto the page.

Whenever you get back, I'll still be here. I need to talk to you.

She stood up and began to pace the room, replaying her outburst in her mind. Emily had just stood there and taken it. That wasn't like her! Emily always fought back. The image of her hurt friend was burned into Lily's mind.

She deserved it! part of her mind screamed. How many times today did you swear revenge?

Lily fell backwards onto her bed, thoughts swirling through her mind. After the mattress stilled, she rolled over onto her stomach and checked the diary.

Are you still there?

“Yes! Finally!” She grabbed her quill and wrote back.

Yes, I'm still here.

I hope you haven't been waiting too long.

No, not too long.

What happened?

Lily sighed. What had happened?

Everything.

Start from the beginning.

Lily recounted her day, including every detail she could remember. As the words poured out, she could feel her initial anger ebbing. She became even more confused about the whole situation.

It was so strange. I mean, all day I was cursing her, but even on the way up to the common room I wasn't all that mad.

When did the change happen?

I think it was when she asked me how it went. Emily just had this look on her face, like she knew more than I did. It just made my blood boil.

Interesting.

I have half a mind to go apologise to her, but I couldn't.

Why not?

Her temper flared again.

Because she deserved it, that's why!

Still a bit upset, then?

Yes! It was absolutely nerve-wracking, sitting with this boy that thought I fancied him.

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Evans had certainly had an eventful day. James had not foreseen Emily setting Evans up like that; it explained things like the library meeting, though.

He could picture Evans sitting on the rock, talking to Greg and fidgeting. Sirius would probably laugh at her uneasiness. I wasn't acting like that, was I?

The reminder of his own predicament provoked James into subtly changing the focus of their discussion.

What did you talk about?

Loads of things. He was very easy to talk to, actually. We discussed classes, people we know, that sort of thing.

Even Evans could talk about these things; that meant something was definitely wrong. Maybe Sarah was the problem. James had never been concerned about it until her.

So you had a good time?

Greg was very nice about everything. Of all the boys it could have been, I'm very glad it was him.

And he didn't maim you or anything?

Ha ha. No, I am perfectly fine.

You still haven't answered my question.

There was a long pause.

I think you did.

Am I a terrible person if I say yes?

Why would that make you a bad person?

Because I attacked Emily.

Ah. No, that does not make you a bad person. You had every reason to be upset, although violence may have been pushing it a bit far.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

James was unsure, but Roscoe had to say something.

You should apologise to Emily

I know…

Let me finish: you should apologise at some point, but make it clear that you did not appreciate that.

I suppose. I don't want to lose her as a friend.

Then all you'd have left is me. I take that back - don't ever apologise to her.

I hate you.

For now.

I could stop writing you anytime I want.

But you won't.

I know.

So do you think you'll go out with Greg again?

I'm not sure. He's a nice bloke and he's cute.

But?

But I was expecting something else.

How so?

It was like… I thought there would be fireworks and I would suddenly know that I fancied Greg. I thought there'd be some sort of sign, and nothing happened.

It never does.

How would you know?

Plenty of experience. The ladies can't resist my sexy pages.

Oh god. That's a disturbing image.

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Later that night, James sat in the common room. He was attempting to finish a Defence essay, but was unable to concentrate. Evans' date kept running through his mind.

He'd found her descriptions of her discomfort amusing, but when she'd gotten to the part where Greg bought her sweets, James had found himself inexplicably angered. And she'd called him cute. “Cute” was not in Evans' vocabulary. He didn't like the idea of her calling Mackavoy that. It wasn't right.

James glanced across the room. Evans was sitting by herself, her back to Emily and her other friends. He wondered why Wood had done it. Things still didn't make sense to James; that included Evans' extreme reaction and how the Marauders fit into everything. He wished he could get Emily's perspective, but that was impossible. James would just have to wait until Evans worked things out with her; maybe Emily would explain herself, and Evans would tell Roscoe. James smiled wryly. It sounded complicated, but he'd gotten used to it. The wonderfully complex life of James “Roscoe” Potter, he thought, mischief-maker, Quidditch player and overall deviant.