The Diary

Chapter Nineteen - The Reconciliation

Disclaimer: If I repeated one of my disclaimers, would anyone notice? Anything you recognize from the series is not mine, and this is purely for entertainment purposes.

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Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel

“Crazy For This Girl” - Evan & Jaron

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A week had passed since Lily's outburst, a week in which Lily point-blank refused to acknowledge Emily's existence. On several occasions Emily had tried to apologise, only to find herself facing Lily's backside. Although Adam and Matilda had been involved in the conspiracy, Lily could only muster a feeling of irritation toward them. She spoke tersely with them if she needed to. Most of her time was spent in the library or alone in her room.

It had been a very lonely week, Lily mused as she sat in the library, but it would have been much worse without Roscoe. She'd written in her diary every night, regardless of whether or not Roscoe had been there. But as much as she enjoyed his company, it couldn't replace a real person. Lily had no one who would whisper sarcastic comments in her ear during class, no one who would understand the inside jokes that just begged to be referenced.

After seven days, Lily decided she had made her point; she sat out in the open where Emily could find her, paging through a book. She didn't have to wait long.

"Are you talking to me yet?" Lily pretended she hadn't heard anything.

A hand drew out the chair across from her. "You're not hexing me; that's a start." Emily lowered herself into the seat and leaned forward. Lily's eyes were fixed on the book, but failed to read the words. "Just listen, then. I'm sorry, okay? It was stupid and I shouldn't have done it." She cleared her throat uneasily before continuing. "An explanation? Why yes, Lily, I'd be happy to explain myself." Lily fingered the edge of the page. "It's simple, really: I thought you were ready. And I was wrong, obviously." Emily waited for Lily to respond, but nothing happened. "Look, I really am sorry." She cocked her head. "So much that I'm repeating myself. I'd throw myself on my feet and beg for mercy, but there's the slight matter of a table in the way." Lily bit back a smile. "I see I'm persuading you. That's a good sign. You know you miss me, Lily." Emily drummed her fingers on the table.

"It was stupid," Lily said without looking up.

Emily smiled broadly. "Yes, you've made that very clear."

"Don't ever do that again without telling me."

"So if I tell you, I can?" Emily asked innocently.

Lily closed her book and sighed. "You never give up, do you?" she said with a smile.

"'Course not. It's my job to pressure you. They'd fire me if I didn't."

The two friends looked at each other in silence. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," Lily said softly.

Emily shrugged. "I had it coming."

"Still. I didn't mean to make such a scene out of it." Emily opened her mouth but Lily cut her off, "If you want to keep talking to me, don't say it."

"Say what?" Emily pushed her chair onto its two back legs.

"Whatever it is you were going to say about making a scene."

Emily smirked. "I wasn't going to say anything of the sort. I was going to ask how your date went."

Lily rested her chin in her hands. "That's right - I didn't tell you about it."

"No, but I expect there wasn't a lot of talking going on."

"Emily…" Lily said exasperatedly.

Emily dropped her smile. "Sorry. Not saying anything."

"Thank you. Now let's see, where to begin. Oh yes, the Three Broomsticks, when you "accidentally" spilled your drink on me. I see now your deviousness knows no bounds."

Lily narrated her tale, provoking laughter from both parties every so often. In hindsight, her nerves seemed rather foolish. "I do have to compliment you for picking Greg," Lily admitted. "It would have been much worse if it had been anyone else."

Emily beamed. “I knew you'd like him.”

“You haven't dated him, have you?” Lily asked.

Emily shook her head. “I chose Greg because I knew you fancied him.”

“What? I didn't fancy him.”

“You do now, then?” She continued without pausing for a response, “Remember first year, Lily? When you said a little something about Mr Mackavoy?”

Lily laughed. “That?! You based my date off something I said four years ago?”

“Even if you don't fancy him, you do think he's good looking, and I don't think that's changed,” Emily pointed out.

“Remind me never to underestimate you,” Lily replied, still smiling.

“But I like when you underestimate me - it makes things much easier.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “All the more reason for me not to.”

After a moment, Emily asked, “So do you want me to get you another date with Greg?”

Lily had given that question a lot of thought since that Saturday. “I don't know,” she said honestly. “Ask me again later. There's plenty of time before I have to make up my mind.”

“Will do. Note to self: remember to be Lily's pimp.”

Lily had to laugh at that one.

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The next morning, Lily joined a relieved Emily for breakfast in the Great Hall. She had just poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice when the owls came swooping in with the morning post. The appearance of a small black bird headed her way lit up Lily's face. She had written to her parents a few days earlier to let them know how she was faring.

The owl soared down and landed gracefully on the table, ruffling its feathers a few times before sticking out its leg. Lily removed the attached letter before offering him a few bits of toast.

“Hello, Roscoe. That was quick,” she said, stroking his feathers. “You're such a good owl, aren't you?”

Emily snorted. “He's not a child, you know.”

“So? How else am I supposed to talk to him?

“Owls are intelligent - they don't need to be patronised like that.”

“What do you know? You have a cat,” Lily teased. “Don't listen to her, Roscoe. I'll talk to you however I like.”

Emily rolled her eyes and went back to her meal. Lily smiled; there was a nice relief in knowing that she could have a pointless argument like that and neither party would take offence to anything said.

After giving Roscoe a few more scraps, she sent him off to the Owlery and opened her letter.

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A few seats down from the girls sat four boys. The boy with glasses had been laughing about some inappropriate joke or another when a few select words reached his ears.

“…Roscoe. That was quick.”

James froze. He'd purposely chosen that name because no one at Hogwarts shared it. He forced himself to keep his composure and kept smiling. He looked around nonchalantly while searching for the source for his worries.

There! Wait, that was… Evans? His eyes widened. Had she told someone about her diary's abnormal functions? James quickly looked back to his friends and tried to eavesdrop on her conversation.

“Owls are intelligent…”

Owls? James spared another glance down the table. There was an owl in front of Evans, but as far as he knew, she didn't have one. It wasn't the Prophet owl, either; Evans had canceled her subscription last month because she hadn't had enough time to read it every day.

“Don't listen to her, Roscoe…”

Evans was addressing her owl. That was… strange. Her owl was named Roscoe, or so James inferred. It was a bit of a surprise, but for some reason, James couldn't help but smile goofily. Evans had named her owl after him.

His blissful moment was interrupted when his friends all rose to go to class. James trailed after them, not really following the conversation until they exited the Hall.

Sirius had stopped walking, his eyes fixed on two nearby figures: Regulus Black and Severus Snape. Sirius' brother was slinking along the hallways with their nemesis.

“That's the third time in the last two weeks,” said Sirius, remarkably evenly.

James wasn't quite sure what to say. He knew it was killing Sirius that his brother was consorting with the likes of Snape, but there wasn't much James could do about that. So he resorted to his backup plan.

“Wanna prank them?”

“No, I have a better idea. Let's just go jinx them,” Sirius replied, his gaze still on the Slytherins.

James nodded and began to saunter across the room, his friend right behind him. He casually pulled out his wand and sent a Body-Bind Curse at an unsuspecting Regulus.

“Hullo, Snivellus,” he called out. The students milling about turned to see what had caused the commotion. James could feel their eyes watching him; he ran his hand through his hair and grinned.

Snape glared and pointed his wand at Sirius, never uttering a sound. All of a sudden, Sirius was yanked into the air by his ankle.

“Gah!”

James yelled, “Expelliarmus!” but Snape immediately erected a shield. They rounded on each other, wands out in front of them. James opened his mouth to fire off another spell when he was interrupted.

“Stop it!”

A very angry Lily Evans stormed into the gap between James and Snape. She advanced on James, her eyes aflame. “What?” he asked innocently.

“Don't play games with me, Potter,” she warned.

His mouth twitched. “I'm not playing anything with you, Evans. Not that I wouldn't like to, of course, if you're not busy later.”

Evans eyes widened almost comically. Her initial shock was quickly overcome by outrage. “You… you…” she sputtered angrily.

“Would anyone care to explain to me why we're all gathered here?” Professor Wayter's voice boomed as he made his way through the hushed crowd. “No one?” The Arithmancy instructor looked around expectantly, but received no response. “I see.” Wayter turned toward James and Evans. “I will see all five of you in detention tonight, and ten points a piece from Gryffindor and Slytherin.”

James spared a quick glance at Evans; she stood next to him, her mouth gaping at the perceived injustice. “Professor,” James found himself saying loudly, “Evans wasn't a part of this.”

Wayter raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Is that true, Ms Evans?” Evans tore her stunned eyes from James to nod vigorously at the professor. “All right, then. Fifteen points to Gryffindor.” Evans started to protest, but Wayter spoke over her, “And would someone please let Mr Black down? I can't imagine that's a very comfortable position.” He took his own wand and freed Regulus.

Without warning, Sirius fell into a heap on the floor. “Oof!” James moved to offer his hand to his friend.

“Why are you all standing about?” Wayter asked the crowd. “Get to class!” The trance was broken and everyone starting moving for the stairs, talking excitedly.

James and Sirius made to join the masses but stopped when Wayter cleared his throat. “I'm not quite done with you yet, boys. I just want you all to know that I'm very disappointed in you. Duelling in the corridors is strictly prohibited, and I don't like to see this sort of antagonism anywhere. Now, I expect to see you all in my office at seven tonight. Except for you, Ms Evans.” He smiled. “Professor Dumbledore made a wise decision in appointing you Prefect.” Evans flushed while Sirius and James shared a look that plainly said, she's mental!

Wayter finally dismissed them, and James and Sirius headed off to Ancient Runes.

“Twenty points - not bad,” Sirius observed.

“Not bad at all,” James agreed. “But what was that spell Snape used on you? I've never seen it before.”

“No idea, but it didn't have any other side effects.”

“That's what you think; you haven't seen your hair yet,” James remarked dryly.

“Have at me all you want,” replied Sirius smugly. “I am proud to say that I can now officially torment you about Evans.”

James huffed. “I just didn't want to lose more points, that's all.”

“Of course, Mr Potter, of course.”

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You there?

That I am.

Good.

I take it something happened?

I'm on good terms with Emily again. We spent all of last night talking.

James had gathered as much when they'd sat next to each other during class. He begrudgingly admitted that he would miss writing to her every night, even though he'd been somewhat sleep-deprived as a result.

That is good news.

Yeah. She apologised and said she thought I was `ready'. Whatever that means.

So are you going out with Greg again?

James had been wondering about that since it had happened. Had Emily managed to change Evans' slightly insane stance?

It's possible. Emily said she could arrange it, if I wanted.

That seems like a very roundabout way of doing things.

I'm… content would be the closest word. It works.

If a different person asked you out now, would you agree?

It depends on the boy. Is it more likely than before? Yes. Is it very likely? No. Maybe I'll just let Emily deal with all of the choosing. She has good taste.

Or you could decide for yourself, James wanted to say. He sighed resignedly. Evans was so… weird when it came to the opposite sex. In an effort to avoid making a fool of himself, James changed the subject.

Anything else of interest happen?

Oh, the Marauders picked on Snape again. I almost got detention because Wayter thought I was helping, when I'd actually been trying to stop them.

Why changed his mind?

James gave a satisfied little hum.

Surprisingly enough, one of the Marauders stood up for me.

Imagine that.

In retrospect, James was a bit surprised at his own actions. He'd acted a bit out of the character Evans liked to see. That James didn't defend her or flirt with her.

He froze. He had flirted with her. James had known that on a superficial level, but he suddenly grasped the implications of such a feat. He'd recognized it would make her upset, which in and of itself was a curious goal, but for all appearances, James Potter had flirted with Lily Evans. No wonder Sirius had been dropping hints about Evans all day.

As he reflected on it, he couldn't help but remember how exhilarated he'd been when Evans had shown up. James had been compelled to make those comments; they'd sprung out of him without hesitation.

Are you there?

He had been so caught up in his thoughts, he'd failed to notice she'd replied to him.

I can't help but wonder if there's an ulterior motive.

Why do you say that?

Because that's the sort of thing they would do.

Ah.

James was slightly hurt that she was so suspicious of him.

Anyway, it evens out in the end because

He waited, but she didn't finish the sentence.

Care to complete that thought?

Well, he had the audacity to allude to me spending time with him.

Like… a date?

I suppose that's the correct terminology. Ugh, it was revolting.

That stung James. He wasn't that bad. In fact, James thought he was a rather attractive fellow.

What did you do?

I was tempted to hex him, but that's when Wayter showed up.

Bad timing.

Not really. If he hadn't, I might have really earned myself a detention.

Huzzah for Professor Wayter, then.

You like that word entirely too much,

Words are all I have, so what else am I supposed to love?

I see your point. Feel free to marry that word and have lots of little diaries.

Wouldn't they be more life half-word, half-magical personalities?

Conscious words - a frightening thought. Especially if they're all like you.

Hey. I resent that.

You said yourself you're a bit of an anomaly.

So? That's not a bad thing.

I know, I know. I actually wish certain people were more like you.

I am amazing, aren't I?

Now I've done it. I've gone and inflated your head.

Don't have one.

You cheeky little… book.

You don't care.

You're right - I don't care in the least.