Authors Note: Ok, this is my first attempt at fan fiction so let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: All Characters belong to the great and power Wizard of Potter, J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: The madness of Harry Potter, in his own words. Rated R for Language.
Ok, I will be the first to admit it; sometimes it sucks to be Harry Potter. Sometimes I wish that I could just lie here in bed all day, just to escape the madness, madness that seems to follow me everywhere I go. In the Great hall at breakfast, lunch and dinner, in all of my classes, on the Quidditch pitch, in the Gryffindor common room, and even in the loo, the madness is everywhere.
I can remember the day that it all started. The day that that the madness entered into my brain and began to eat away all traces of sanity that remained after five years of battling Voldemort. Isn't it funny how one day at the Ministry of Magic changed my life forever? Isn't it funny that one moment in time, altered the rest of my life, set my course and now I am completely bound to follow in the wake? Isn't it so bloody funny that I lost what I never had, and found what I never knew was missing? Isn't Life just so bloody goddamn funny!
Ok, I bet at his point you are thinking poor Harry, lost his godfather, blames himself, will never be the same. Well, let me enlighten you. I no longer blame myself, even though I should, I won't ever be the same again, and I don't want to be, and Sirius's death is not the cause of my madness. Compared to what I am feeling now, getting over Sirius was easy.
Let me tell you a little bit about the madness of Harry Potter, though I am sure that some of you guys know all about it, having read all about my life and now you think you have me all figured out. You see, there is a lot about me that I keep hidden, hidden so far deep down that it takes a literal blow to the chest to open even my eyes.
Let me begin by telling you that crackpot Professor Trelawney is right about one thing, I die. I die a little bit every day, every hour, every second, and every breath. I die because the madness within me eats at my very heart and soul, threatening to consume me alive! I have accepted it; there is no escape, no amnesty, and no deliverance. Even if Voldemort dies tomorrow, my torment will continue, because even his demise is not my heart's desire. Desire, now that is a good word indeed to describe my madness, but that is not its given name.
Dumbledore was right to hide the Mirror of Erised from me. At this very moment I find myself mentally checking off all of the places I have searched and all the places that it could be. I am certain that once I find it I will waste away at its base, I will waste away anyway. That mirror is only one thing that reflects my hearts desire, the other just walked into the common room. Hello madness, hope you won't stay too long.
Ok, I guess I am about to sink a few ships and break a few hearts out there, but what the hell, this is my story, right! Do you really think that I will find love and ride off into the sunset? Come on, we are talking about Harry Potter and we all know that nothing comes easy for me, well other than magic that is. Loving her has been easy, easy as falling off a broom, but twice as painful. The hard part has been accepting that she will never be mine, that I will never kiss those lips that speak my name, and that I will never be able to show her the real "boy that lived", because without her I will surely die.
Somewhere I once read that we are all hopelessly lost in this world, looking for that other soul that completes us and makes us whole again. I understand that now and it all makes sense. I will never be complete; I will never be whole because madness always wins in the end. Hello madness I see that you have sat beside me in front of the fire and plan on staying a while.
Madness says that she has something that she needs talk to me about, oh no, here it comes; I have been waiting for this since third year.
She says "She is in love with her best friend and that he has been ignoring her." Damn Ron, how can he be so insensitive to her?
She says "All the knowledge in the world means nothing as long as he is not by her side." Lucky guy that Ron is, wish I were him.
She is getting closer. What is that smell, its so intoxicating? Damn she smells good, reminds me of Christmas.
She says "she wants to tell him, but is afraid that he does not feel the same way."
"Pumpkin Pie" I yell! Now she is looking at me like I am crazy. That is what she smells like, Merlin help me she has brought me a piece up from the kitchen, says that she made it herself.
Finally I find the courage to speak to her. "Hermione, just tell him, believe me, there is nothing more maddening than walking around with all that on your shoulders."
Now get this, she says that "Madness has taken over her life and that Pumpkin Pie has been the only thing that has made her feel better." I agree, nothing taste better than Pumpkin Pie.
So I ask her, "When do you plan on telling him that you love him?"
Well I expected that she would dance around this subject, but she is smiling, and damn she looks as good as she smells.
"Well, I guess I just did but he is too interested in Pumpkin Pie to notice me!"
"Hermy, even Pumpkin Pie does not compare to you. By the way where is that Pumpkin Pie you promised me?"
"Oh Harry, here is your Pumpkin Pie."
Things are really starting to get weird now because I see no Pumpkin Pie but she is getting closer to me. She is so close that I can almost taste the Pumpkin Pie on her lips. Wait, I can taste it and that is because her lips are touching mine, she is kissing me! This is much better than I ever expected. Guess I better kiss her back before she thinks that I do not feel the same way. What was it someone said about fireworks? I don't know about anyone else but I feel like I just got hold of a live electrical wire. Maybe madness is not such a bad thing after all.
Now let me tell you that this is most defiantly the best day of my life. Today is a good day to be alive and it never sucks to be Harry Potter. Goodbye madness, hello sanity, hello salvation, hello deliverance, make yourselves at home and have a slice of Pumpkin Pie, while I pour the drinks!
The End?
Thanks to my best BUD in the world, LUC! He introduced me to Harry Potter. Without him none of this would be possible! I miss you!