Chapter 6 - A Return to the Dungeon
Harry stormed back to the Gryffindor common room, fuming over his return to the dungeon. He wanted to be mad at Snape. In actuality, he was furious with himself. He had been through Occlumency lessons before. He knew what Snape was capable of. Last year he had conjured a stinging hex to keep Snape from seeing him kiss Cho. Tonight that thought hadn't even occurred to him until it was too late. Harry enjoyed reliving the moment on the wooded trail so completely, he forgot Snape was sharing it with him.
"Flabberghast," Harry muttered.
"Well, someone's in a foul mood this evening," the fat lady replied, swinging open to reveal the passage to the common room. With a seething glare, Harry climbed through the portrait hole and into the commotion. Groups of students were huddled together, engaged in various activities. Ron and Hermione must have been there for a while; they had managed to commandeer prime seats in front of the fire. Hermione seemed to be memorizing the Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6, by Goshawk, while Ron was surveying his newest book, Quidditch Keeping Charisma, clearly trying to learn a few new moves. Neither of them noticed Harry enter the room.
Harry gave a great deal of thought to heading straight for his four-poster before he was spotted. However, he thought the flurry of questions that would follow (after thinking he'd been with Snape for hours) would be more difficult to navigate than it already was. How would he answer their questions without betraying himself to Hermione?
"Hey mate!" Ron chirped.
"Hi," Harry said in the calmest voice he could muster. He flopped down on the floor in front of Hermione's chair and laid his head back, closing his eyes.
"Harry?" Hermione asked, her legs draped over the sidearm of the squashy chair, looking up from her book. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I'm just really tired," he said, speaking only a half truth. He was exhausted, but there was more troubling him than that.
"How'd it go?" Ron asked secretively.
Great! I got to spend some fabulous quality time with someone even Satan wouldn't claim as his own. We talked, we laughed, and he intruded on my memories and saw me desperately wanting to kiss our best friend. That's information I was dying to share with him. How was your evening?
"I'd really rather not talk about it Ron," Harry said keeping his eyes pressed shut. Suddenly, he felt a strange sensation on his forehead. He was abruptly reminded that Occlumency lessons tended to leave him more vulnerable to Voldemort. But, no…this wasn't the same tingling he normally felt...it was different.
He snapped open his eyes and stared toward the ceiling. He found himself looking, although upside down, into Hermione's eyes. She was running her hand through his hair, occasionally letting her fingers drag across his scar.
"Harry, perhaps you should turn in for the night. You look completely worn out," she said with concern. She was right, but nothing in the world could convince Harry to move right now; not as long as her fingers were causing his scalp to tingle like that. He closed his eyes again and let the tension rise through the top of his head.
How does she do that?
Do what?
Make me feel better with one simple, innocuous touch.
Just imagine if it wasn't innocu-
Stop it! I refuse to think of her like that!
Harry, how long will it take you to figure out you can't fool me…I'm YOU!
***
The next several days passed without incident. While Fridays were normally something to look forward to, double potions put quite an effective damper on Harry's mood. He hadn't seen Snape since Monday night, now he had to see him for nearly two hours. Harry merely poked at his eggs and bacon, having completely lost his appetite. A flock of owls startled him from his thoughts.
"Oh, no mail today, Hermione?" Ron teased.
"Shut up, Ron," Hermione growled. She gave a quick glance at Harry and returned to her muffin.
Ron started humming a little tune that sounded much like "Hermione and Vicky sitting in a tree…"
"Honestly Ron!" Hermione hissed. "You are acting so childish! Victor is not in love with me!"
"Yeah? Prove it," Ron challenged. Harry's ears perked up.
"What in the world are you talking about?" Hermione asked, looking stunned.
"Write one of your novels to him and ask," he suggested.
"I will not!" Hermione gasped.
"Of course you won't! You know it's true," Ron added, winking at Harry across the table.
"You should wink the eye I can't see Ron," Hermione chided. She gave them both a thoughtful look, as they looked back, and said, "all right! Have it your way. I'll prove you're completely nutters! I'll write to him and tell him how utterly ridiculous I think both you and your silly theory are. I'm sure his reply will be a bit longer in coming, the amount of laughter that will induce is bound to make someone think Harry jinxed him with his textbook Rectasempra curse!" She scoffed, grabbing her books and gliding out of the Great Hall.
Harry looked at Ron, spirits a bit lifted from Hermione's compliment. Ron shrugged his shoulders and quipped, "I don't really care one way or another." He smiled. "I just live to set her off!" They both laughed heartily and gathered their books for class.
"Well, well...who would've thought we'd be seeing Potter in potions anymore? Of course I heard you had to take remedial potions, just to get into this class." Malfoy's drawling voice floated across the students gathered at the door. A hand grabbed Harry's arm and he snapped his head to see Hermione looking up at him.
"Ignore him Harry, he's not worth it."
"Oh, look his little girlfriend is here to defend him!" Malfoy said with a knowing glance at Harry. Before either had the chance to reply a cold and silky voice interrupted.
"Come now, Malfoy. Who in their right mind would fall for Potter?" Snape responded, opening the door. Hermione was still clutching Harry's arm and let it go only after Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle had entered the dungeon classroom.
Potions went just as Harry had expected. Snape began by describing how much more difficult N.E.W.T. level potions would be and how he was sure several students achievement (shooting obvious stares at Ron and Harry) would be purely miserable. He indicated the ferocity of some potions they would brew and insinuated the use of human guinea pigs (looking solely at Harry now) for some of the more dangerous mixtures. As the end of the class drew near, Harry began to feel a modicum of relief. He had only lost 10 points for Gryffindor and managed to get his potion within three shades of the orange hue Snape required before having the contents of his cauldron vanish with the swish of the potion master's wand. But still, there were only minutes left.
He almost escaped unscathed.
Hermione brought her vial up to Snape's desk and gave a consoling look to Harry as she passed his empty cauldron.
"Don't worry, Ms. Granger, I'm sure you'll find some way to cheat your boyfriend through this course," Snape said, flashing a vicious smile toward Harry. Harry's heart leapt into his throat.
Please, please don't tell her. He was nearly panicked.
"Sir, Harry and I are not dating. We're just friends," Hermione said softly, half amazed he'd let her get the whole sentence out without silencing her.
Harry met Snape's eyes again. He felt himself shaking his head in a vain attempt to beg Snape keep his secret.
"Be that as it may Ms. Granger, I'm sure Potter would… love you… to help him," he said coolly. He surveyed her vial and raised his eyes to Harry's. Harry's face was on fire. Although Snape had been cryptic, Harry felt the collective eyes of the entire classroom boring into his back. Confused, Hermione turned to walk back to her desk.
He could feel her looking at him as she swept passed but all he could hear was the incessant sniggering of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.
***
If the trio thought they had endured mountains of homework last year, it was nothing compared to the assignments thrust upon them from their N.E.W.T. level courses. When combined with Quidditch practice, Harry and Ron rarely had anytime to do anything aside from eat, sleep, and study (the last seeming to overshadow the importance of the first-even for Ron). Hermione, having structured her life around classes anyway, at least seemed to be handling the pressure with a bit more success.
Harry's Occlumency lessons had continued. After his first lesson, and the potions class that ensued, Harry redoubled his resolve and finally began to put forth the effort necessary to progress. Unfortunately for him, he still hadn't found the key. While he managed to block Snape from the most significant memories, Harry didn't feel he was making much real progress. He knew he was supposed to clear his mind of emotion but he didn't know how to do so.
Assistance came from an unlikely source.
By October, Tonks had finished assessing the students' prowess through a battery of former lessons. The classes had reviewed a great deal of the skills they learned over the past six years. It didn't pass without notice that the majority of skills they reviewed were those Professor Lupin taught them during their third year. It was commonly accepted that Lupin was the only Defense teacher they had ever had that truly taught them "defense" against the dark arts.
That was true only if you didn't include Harry instructing the D.A.
Defense Against the Dark Arts was one of the few bright spots in Harry's course schedule. Not only did he excel in the subject, but he swelled with pride as the members of the D.A. clearly outperformed every other student; a fact that didn't escape Tonks' attention either.
"I'm not entirely sure who signed that jinxed paper of Hermione's last year Harry, but I'm quite sure Mundugus would give me great odds on picking them out," Tonks whispered in his ear as she passed his table. Harry tried to control a beaming smile without much success.
"Well, now that I know where you are in this course, I can decide where to take you," Tonks said, stepping back to the front of the class. "N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts will be a bit different than your classes in the past. Skills at this level lie more in your head than your wand," she added fluidly.
Harry was moderately surprised that Tonks seemed so comfortable as a teacher.
Tonks stepped away from the desk and began walking about the room. "Aurors need to use their minds more effectively than….oh!" Tonks tripped over a loose stone in the floor. As she crashed to the floor Harry suppressed a giggle…There was the Tonks he knew.
She clamored back to her feet. "Er…uh...more effectively than their bodies." She brushed a wisp of her vibrant purple hair out of her face and continued. "In order to do that, we are going to start working on some techniques to help you clear your mind and gain control of your thoughts as well as your spells." Tonks seemed to be staring at Harry.
"You may find these techniques a bit strange. I actually learned them from a muggle. We will be studying visualization and yoga." There was a murmur among the students. The muggle-borns were divided between girlish excitement and eye-rolling. The pure-blood wizards simply looked confused.
"We will do guided visualization first. Everyone please put your wands away and find a comfortable place to settle in," Tonks said kindly. "Go on, you can go anywhere in the room. Whatever strikes your fancy," she added. As she passed Harry she continued, "find your happy place!" she winked at Harry and mouthed, "I always wanted to say that!"
Harry smiled broadly and settled into his chair giving some thought to his "happy place."
"Close your eyes," Tonks said quietly. Harry gave a glance to Hermione, who not surprisingly, had already done what the instructor told her to. He captured her face in his mind and closed his eyes with a smile.
The breeze caught her hair, tossing it lazily across her face. She raised her hand to brush it from her eyes and beamed at Harry. He took her hand in his and without saying a word they began to meander with no apparent destination in mind. They were walking along a sun-drenched beach. The waves lapped happily at the white glistening sand. Hermione was carrying a pair of sandals in her hand and wore a gauzy white sundress that left little to Harry's imagination. They stopped. He looked into her chocolate brown eyes and lowered his head. Before he had the chance to kiss her, they were bowled over by another force; a smaller one. Harry looked up from where he'd fallen on the beach.
A little boy, with brown hair and striking green eyes was calling their attention to a seagull chasing after his bologna sandwich. Harry could feel Hermione's chest hitching as she laughed at the boy's indignation. The child stormed off, shouting at the circling menace, and Harry, gladly, returned his attention to her.
She tried to pull herself up but Harry playfully held her down with his left hand; the same hand that sparkled with the golden flicker of an irrefutable wedding band. His eyes were drawn to it. It shimmered with gold and platinum and was inscribed with runes Harry couldn't read. Noticing what had caught his attention, Hermione grasped his hand in hers. It was similarly adorned. Her wide smile turned to surprised shock an unusually large wave, hailing the return of the tide, rolled into them. Again, she tried to leap off the beach, but was firmly held in place by Harry.
He surveyed his wife, now soaked from the unrelenting surf, and took in the sight of her. The white sundress had been thrown up above her knees. While it still covered all the essential areas, it was now a translucent sheath, clinging to her every curve. The sunlight seemed to bore directly through the drenched fabric. He could make out every inch of the lacy bra covering her breasts. He could see the intricate detail of her knickers. When he returned his stare to her face, she had stopped smiling; and so had he.
Left hands still clasped together, he lowered his head to hers, while letting his right hand move under the sodden fabric covering her thighs. No longer able to stop the force driving him, he crushed his lips to hers as her right hand grasped the back of his neck. Unaware of anything else, they opened their mouths and feasted on the taste of each other. The quiet moan that escaped her throat warmed him like a phoenix song and their wave of passion was matched only by the rhythmic crashing of the ocean's waves.
"Harry, Harry!" He opened his eyes and realized the silly grin permeating every feature of his face. Tonks was gently shaking his shoulder. "You must've found it," she said with a wry smile. Harry reddened. He was suddenly very grateful Hogwarts had been so accommodating in requiring the students wear loose fitting robes.
Remind me to thank Dumbledore.
Oh, Harry. Remind Dumbledore, dear. And please stop watching so many of your Aunt Petunia's old girlie movies. Honestly, you are completely devoid of orginality?
Hey! It's my 'happy place!'
It certainly is.
He wasn't sure how long the Defense class lasted after that. Tonks led the class through an exercise where they visualized themselves in various peaceful situations. She conjured music and sounds and dimmed the candlelight to help them clear their thoughts and relax their bodies.
Ron certainly took the activity seriously. Harry heard him snoring across the room. As they left, Harry felt better than he had in days. He actually felt like he had slept. Strangely enough, he also felt stronger even though the class didn't have them "doing magic."
"That was so interesting!" Hermione chirped as they walked to the Great Hall for dinner.
You have no idea.
"I feel so much better! I haven't given any thought to my History of Magic essay in at least an hour!"
"Oh, call Rita Skeeter! There's a scoop. 'Hermione Granger goes sixty minutes without thinking of homework,'" Ron scoffed with a yawn.
"Ouch!" he barked as Hermione slapped him in the back of the head.
***
Harry thought a lot about Tonks' lesson in the coming days. He finally felt like he had a way to begin clearing his mind. At night, behind the privacy of his scarlet curtains, he led himself through his own visualization exercises until he fell into a peaceful sleep.
Monday evening would be the test.
"Come in Potter," Snape said silkily, without turning from the green jar he was replacing on the shelf in his office. "Let's dispense with the pleasantries and begin," Snape added; not that he had any intention of being pleasant.
Harry took his place across from Snape's desk and grasped his wand. He watched Snape pull a silvery strand from his temple and swirl it into the pensieve on the desk.
Snape gave his usual warning to, "prepare yourself, Potter." For once, Harry actually felt as though he had done just that.
"Legilimens!"
A few varied memories floated across Harry's mind. But none of the memories seemed to have any true form. Rather than watching episodes of events passed, Harry saw only glimpses of people and places. He didn't seem to feel any significant emotions associated with any of the images. Even the faces of his parents, Sirius, and Hermione didn't stir the odd calm that seemed to reside firmly in his chest. Then it was gone.
"It's about time," Snape said coolly. Harry opened his eyes and for the briefest moment he thought Snape's face reflected something he'd never seen before…a smile. They continued in the same manner for the next hour until Snape informed Harry they were finished. Harry returned to the common room having made a firm commitment to continue his nightly ritual until he could block Snape all together.
A few lessons later he surprised himself by doing one better than that.
"Legilimens!"
Nothing. Snape lowered his wand and for a moment seemed speechless.
"You've figured out how to close your mind, but you've not figured out how to repel my advances," Snape said matter-of-factly. "It's still not enough."
Harry couldn't help but notice, Snape had not called him "Potter" yet. As a matter of fact, this was as close as Snape had ever come to being civil to Harry.
"Professor?" Harry asked quietly. Snape merely looked at him. "How do I do that?" he inquired in the most unobtrusive voice he could muster.
"You'll never be strong enough if I tell you how. You must find your own way," Snape said calmly. Harry was astounded. He had managed nearly 45 minutes without a scathing verbal attack. "Again," Snape added flatly.
"Legilimens!"
Harry thought about what Snape said last year. His mind could be more powerful than his wand. He thought back to Tonks techniques and visualized himself breaking into Snape's memories. He gripped his wind tightly and screwed up his face with effort.
Suddenly, saw his own memories dance across his mind again. He saw his mother and father's face. He saw Sirius' broad smile and contagious laugh. He fought harder, he didn't want to see his memories; he wanted to see Snape's. He gripped his wand even tighter. His mother came clearly into his vision. She was smiling at him. He was filled with the same breathless excitement that he so often felt with Hermione. She was so close to him his heart was pounding. He fought the urge to reach out for her. Then he saw his father. Lily turned with a bright smile and charged toward James, jumping into his arms as he spun her around and kissed her deeply. Harry's happiness turned to combination of all-consuming emptiness and controlled rage.
What was going on?
Then it hit him. He had no memory of his parents at Hogwarts. He was seeing Snape's memories. What's more he was feeling what Snape felt, and with a shocking realization Harry snapped open his eyes.
His wand was pointed directly at Snape's chest. He was leaning over, supporting himself on his desk. As Harry stood, staring at the scene before him in total disbelief, he couldn't help what came out of his mouth. "So that's why you hated my father so much."
That was the worst mistake he could've made.
"Get out!" Snape straightened up returning to his typical acidic tone-of-voice. "Get out now!" Much to Harry's surprise, he desperately wanted to stay. He couldn't even explain why.
"Professor Sn…" he pleaded.
"Out!" Snape barked, throwing a jar in Harry's direction. Harry hesitated and then decided it better to comply and swept from the room in disbelief. Almost everything about Snape suddenly made sense…almost everything.
***
"Oh Harry!" Hermione gasped disbelievingly. "I don't know which is more surprising! Your progress in Occlumency, or what you saw in Snape's memory!" she added while absent-mindedly chewing on a piece of toast.
"Snape and your mum?" Ron said, staring blankly at Harry. "Thankfully, your mum had good taste. You'd be awful ugly if they had gotten married!"
"Ron! What an awful thing to say!" Hermione snapped, nearly choking on a grapefruit.
"Well, it's true! Can you imagine the product of that relationship! Harry'd be the poster boy for birth control!" Harry nearly sprayed Ron with pumpkin juice. Even he couldn't contain his laughter over that comment.
"Ugh!" Hermione huffed. She opened her mouth to reply but was quickly distracted by a flock of owls pouring in from the rafters.
"Oh, I feel lucky today mate!" Ron said, flashing his bright blue eyes toward Harry. "I believe today is the day I am officially deemed more clever than Hermione."
"What are you blubbering about Ron?" Hermione scoffed.
"Oh, nothing! Don't look up now Hermione, there's Vicky's owl!" Ron said pointing toward a tawny barn owl swooping down to the table. Hermione was poised to snap at Ron over his incessant use of the nickname "Vicky," but ended up speechless as the owl dropped a letter onto the table beside her plate.
"So, read it!' Ron insisted. Harry was watching the scene intently. He didn't dare get involved, but was brimming with an insatiable curiosity over the scroll of parchment lying on the table.
Hermione was in a rather complex predicament. The look on her face telegraphed her indecision to both Ron and Harry. She had taken up Ron's challenge to prove Victor Krum was not in love with her. Presumably, here lies the answer. She was either going to be right (which is what she was used to) or embarrassed.
Ron had seemed to wait long enough and lunged for the letter. Harry got there first.
"Ron, it's Hermione's letter," he said quietly, the letter grasped in his hand. "Let her read it."
"Thank you Harry. At least you're a gentleman about this," Hermione quipped throwing a glare in Ron's direction. Not wishing to make Ron look like a prat, Harry glanced up at Hermione and added, "Let her read it…aloud."
The breadth of Ron's smile seemed to be inversely proportional to the slits that became Hermione's eyes.
"Fine! I'll prove it to you both!" She snarled, snapping the letter from Harry's hand. She unrolled the scrolled and desperately tried to skim it before reading it aloud.
Dear Hermione,
I'm all settled in London and am enjoying my position in Mr. Bagman's department. There's always ample opportunity to discuss Quidditch and scout new talent! I received your last letter. I'm not sure how to respond. Your silly (Hermione said with great stress) friend Ron thinks I'm in love with you does he? I remember him being the one with red hair. The one you said was not (she lowered her voice to a near whisper, reading quickly) that successful in his coursework.
"What did you tell him?" Ron hissed. She merely glanced at him with a knowing expression. "Well, excuse me if I'm not as brilliant as Hermione Bookworm Granger!" he said crossing his arms hotly.
"Ron," Harry said quietly, trying to return her attention to the letter. He was desperate to hear if she's ever mentioned him to Krum. Hermione, grateful for a change in subject, even if it was back to Krum's letter, continued on reading.
Well, I must say, I've never been very brave Hermione. I understand the houses at Hogwarts and what you explained Gryffindors are supposed to be about. Maybe it's because you are placed in this house that I feel the confidence to say this… (Ron suddenly looked up, a clear expression of victory beginning to cross his face)...your friend Ron is right.
"Ah ha!" Ron leapt up from the table.
"Hear ye, all Hogwarts students! I am smarter than Hermione Granger!" he yelled triumphantly. He finished his victory speech by dancing around in circles attracting the attention of nearly everyone in the room. Hermione ignored his conspicuous victory dance and continued to read the letter quietly in shocked disbelief.
I did move to London to be closer to you. You are all I think about day and night. I can't get you out of my mind. I wouldn't dare write these words except that I believe you feel the same way
She trailed off and read the rest of the letter in silence. When she finished, she looked up at Harry. Suddenly, taking great interest in his bacon, he looked away.
This was just like being back on the Hogwarts Express. Krum was in love with her. He admitted it. More annoying to Harry, Krum said the things Harry wanted to say, and it clearly had made an impression on Hermione. She gathered her things, rolled up the letter, and left the Great Hall.
Harry suddenly lost his appetite entirely.
She loves him. She has to. All she ever did was write feet of parchment to him and she's done that since the day they parted at the end of fourth year.
He knew, during the Triwizard Tournament, that Hermione was profoundly important to Krum. She had been chosen as the "bait" in the second task because she was the one thing Krum loved most dearly. She'd visited him and written to him religiously since that time. Additionally, she was so secretive and defensive about Krum. She was acting the same way Harry acted with regard to her, and he knew he was in love. He knew she must be too. The shocked look on her face left little doubt in Harry's mind.
He suddenly thought of Snape and remembered how he felt as he saw Lily turn from his gaze and rush off to his father's embrace. Looking up at the head table his eyes fell upon the Potions master.
Never thought I'd have anything in common with him.
"I'm going to class," Harry said at a near whisper.
Ron never heard him leave. By this point, he had taken his victory dance onto the bench and was being egged on by Seamus and Dean.
As Harry absentmindedly walked out of the Great Hall, he collided with Albus Dumbledore.
"Oh! Sorry sir, I…" Harry stammered.
"Harry!" Dumbledore said brightly. "I have spoken to Professor Snape." He looked over his half-moon glasses at Harry. "He has described your progress, and I must say Harry, I am proud of how you've grown. I'm nearly convinced at this point; Voldemort will have to resort to other measures to achieve his ends." Dumbledore smiled warmly then seemed to clue into the look on Harry's face.
"Is everything all right Harry?" he inquired with concern.
"I'm fine sir. Thank you. I need to go to class." Harry walked off without so much as a smile.
When the time came for Defense Against the Dark Arts to begin, Tonks was no where to be found. The class sat for several minutes looking to each other for information or guidance. Hermione was noticeably preoccupied.
When Tonks finally appeared, she seemed frazzled and stumbled down the stairs into the classroom. Harry sprung to help her up and saw the current copy of the Daily Prophet lying at her feet. He picked it up and couldn't ignore the cold eyes staring back at him. "Azkaban Security Breach: Death Eaters Captured in Department of Mysteries Escape." Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestranges' photos were nearly as distracting as the headline itself. Harry instantly looked to Tonks for an explanation.
"We'll talk after class," she said quietly. Harry returned to his seat and couldn't recount a single thing that had been done in class. All he saw was the final battle between Bellatrix and Sirius, playing over and over in his mind.
Harry, Ron and Hermione found various ways to stay behind after class. When the remaining students had left they approached Tonks.
"What happened?" Harry asked quickly.
"We're not exactly sure. But, we do know this much. The Ministry of Magic appointed the new prison guards after the dementors defected. The upper echelon of the Ministry appointed the guards for these two personally." She pointed at the pictures of Malfoy and Lestrange. "Yet they are the only two that escaped. The Order has been up all night investigating this as best we can. One thing is completely certain at this point." Tonks looked more serious than Harry had ever seen her. "Someone inside the Ministry is working for Voldemort."
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered.
Hermione gasped as a worried look settled in her eyes.
I'll bet you're worried. Too bad it's for the safety of Victor Krum.