Chapter 10 - Platonic
I don't like to have lunch alone. But no one was available. Ginny had gone with her mum to Hogsmeade for the day, Ron was too busy with training since he had a game against the Chudley Cannons that Saturday - very interesting thing to watch, indeed - and Harry... well, I could have gone to the Cannons Pitch to look for him, but I didn't feel like it. Harry had been in a bad mood since the night before. I had asked him what had happened, but he didn't gave me a straight answer. That morning we'd had a small argument about a stupid thing. Harry and I didn't have many quarrels, so I was really upset that something so little could force us to have one.
No, it was definitely better to leave him alone.
So, there I was, in the "Happy Hippogriff", a nice restaurant in London's downtown, having a nice and boring lunch.
But soon enough, I was hoping I could have stayed eating alone. And that moment was when no one else but Cho Chang, followed by Padma Patil, entered in the HH. I tried to cover myself with the menu, but it was too late. Padma spotted me and elbowed Cho. If I didn't knew better, I'd say that her face brightened when she saw me. Two seconds later, they were by my side.
"Hello, Hermione! It's such a coincidence to find you here!" Cho said. "Are you alone?"
"Yes," I said, hoping they would think I was some kind of lonewolf and leave me alone. Padma and Cho weren't really the best company to have for lunch on a Wednesday... Or any day, for that matter.
"Then, do you mind if we sit with you? Then we could gossip a little!" Cho said, not waiting for my answer and sitting beside me.
Padma giggled and followed her.
Oh, what the hell. Better eat fast and run away as soon as you can, I told myself, leaving the menu on the table and taking a deep breath.
The first minutes, things went pretty well. Cho and Padma were wrapped in a conversation of they own, and I barely interjected a few words. But then, the subject focused on our respective love lifes, and that's when I seriously wanted to leave the place.
"You heard me, I broke up with that git right away!" Padma was saying.
"Well done, he wasn't right for you. I can't believe there are so many jerks in this world," Cho said.
"Of course, not all of us are as lucky as Hermione to find such a perfect guy like Harry... right, Hermione?"
"Aha," I replied, extremely bored.
"I agree with you, Padma," Cho said, turning to me. "You are really lucky, Hermione, Harry is a wonderful guy. I can't believe you two haven't got married yet. What are you waiting for anyway?" she asked, and though her question sounded casual, I had the feeling she had wanted to ask that for a long time.
"Just the right time," I replied curtly.
"The right time? When is that?" Padma asked, rolling her eyes. "If I were you, I would have said "I do" a long time ago."
But, thankfully, you're not me, I thought and refrained myself to say it out loud. I have never liked Padma very much, and I remember she didn't like me either when we were at Hogwarts, probably because of what had happened in the Yule Ball during our fourth year.
"Padma, don't be so nosy, I'm sure that Hermione and Harry must have their own reasons to wait... Because it's a decision of both of you, isn't it?" Cho asked, turning to me.
"Of course it is," I lied.
"Well, that's nice to hear. I mean, it would be terrible if one of you wanted to get married and the other didn't!" Padma commented, giggling.
I looked at her trying hard to suppress a glare.
"Besides, Harry and Hermione don't really need to get married yet," Cho continued, now talking to Padma. "They practically live together, but they don't have the pressure of the attachment that comes with marriage, am I right?"
"We don't live together," I said, slowly. "We're neighbours. And I don't see why marriage should be a pressure."
"You're neighbours? Well, that is certainly convenient," Padma said, with another giggle.
"Padma!" Cho scolded, with a very fake laugh.
I looked at them, puzzled.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Cho said, when she noticed my face. "Padma can get a little out of line sometimes."
"Oh, come on!" Padma said. "There's nothing wrong with talking about it. We're all women after all. What do you think, Hermione?"
"I have no idea what are you talking about," was my answer.
They exchanged a look. "Playing dumb, aren't we?" Padma asked with a wink. "I meant how convenient it is for... over night visits." Another wink.
Oh, now I got her point. "We don't have over night visits," I stated, annoyed.
"You don't? What's the point in living right next door then?" Padma asked truly surprised.
"Oh Padma! Of course, Hermione meant that 'over night visits' doesn't sound too classy," Cho said. "It doesn't mean that she and Harry don't... you know." She arched her eyebrows suggestively.
I blushed at her insinuation. "You're wrong, Harry and I have never..." I trailed off, regretting opening my mouth. Why was I telling them that anyway?
Padma and Cho looked at me eye-widened. "You mean you two... you've never... You don't..." Padma stammered.
Well, the damage was done already. "No," I replied.
She snorted and then composed herself. "Why?"
I didn't feel like having to explain to her, but since I noticed that Cho was very interested as well, I decided to. "Because we decided to wait."
"Wait until when?" Cho asked briskly.
"Until marriage, of course."
"Is it a religious thing?" Padma asked, still ver surprised.
"Not really... Is something I decided a long time ago. It's a very important principle of mine, something I swore to myself I would accomplish."
"And Harry is okay with that?" Cho asked, her expression unreadable.
"Yes, he is. He agrees with me."
"Hmmm," she said, taking a sip of her orange juice.
"Hmmm what?" I couldn't help to ask. There was something in her tone I didn't like.
"Nothing, it's just that... Well, forgive me, but I do think it's kind of... special that a man of Harry's age would agree to something like that."
"And why would it be so special?" I asked.
"Well, he's 26. And you've been together for a year... Men don't like to wait that much, don't you think?"
"I totally agree," Padma said, before I could reply. "But at least he must have his bursts of passion every now and then, doesn't he? It must be difficult for you to control yourselves."
I looked at her disgusted. "No, he doesn't. And it's not that hard either."
"You mean he has never tried to cross the line?" Cho asked and I shook my head, What was wrong with them? Cho looked at me with pity. "Oh honey..." she said in a tone that reminded me of Liz, except that it was coming from someone I didn't really like.
"Oh honey what?" I asked, not trying to hide my annoyance anymore.
"I'm not trying to imply anything," Cho said, "but I think that you're having the typical problem of couples that have been together for a long time. It's completely understandable in your case, considering that you have been friends for so long and there's that platonic issue..."
"What are you trying to say?" I cut her off.
"That your relationship lacks of passion. You should be careful, it's one of the biggest causes for divorce nowadays," Cho said casually.
I've had enough of that talk. I excused myself - raher rudely - and left the restaurant.
* * *
The whole afternoon I kept grumbling about what had happened during lunch. Who did she think she was to give opinions about my relationship with Harry? Lack of passion? That was ridiculous. We were passionate! And just because we have decided to wait it didn't mean we... Ugh! Why was I even thinking about what she had said? It didn't make any sense. She didn't know Harry. She didn't know me. She didn't know us.
Then again, I'd never actually considered Harry's feelings on the subject. Surely, I have discussed it with him when we had started our relationship and he had agreed with me. But had he done it because he wanted to or because I wanted to, and he just wanted to please me? Did it actually matter?
Yes, it did matter. Because, now that I though about it, Harry had never done anything improper, never had even tried to "cross the line" as Cho had said. Well, wasn't it that one of the reasons I loved Harry so much? That he was a perfect gentleman? What if he had "crossed the line"? I would have probably been very disappointed of him. Then why was I thinking that she could be right about us?
You must think it's not very me to be this insecure about something. I can't help it when it's about Harry, though, and considering what has been happening lately, I'm sure you can understand my state of mind right now.
He doesn't want to marry me and he treats me like a porcelan doll.
I checked my watch. Ron should be home by now. I needed his opinion about this.
* * *
Ron was dreaming about a hot bath and his warm bed. He was so tired that it was hard to even keep his eyes open. He apparated in the front yard of and walked slowly towards the big house, rubbing his eyes.
Someone was sitting in the porch, apparently waiting for him for the way she stood up when she spotted him.
"Hi Ron," Hermione greeted in a tone that let him now she was disturbed about something. "You don't look very well," she said then, looking at him carefully. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he said. "Just beaten. Were you waiting for me?"
"Yes. Liz is not home, I think she went somewhere with her mum, so I decided to wait for you here. You look like you really want to sleep right now, but I wanted to talk to you about something. I won't take long, I promise."
Ron sighed. "I can't remember saying no to you ever," he said, sitting down on the bench they had in the porch. "Okay, I'm listening."
"Don't you want a glass of water?"
"Hermione..."
"A cup of coffee, maybe?"
"Herm..."
"Do you think that Harry and I aren't passionate enough?"
It took Ron a couple of seconds for the question to sunk in. "What?" he asked finally, blinking.
"It's a simple question, Ron, just say yes or no."
"Where is that coming from?"
"Don't you think we are strange? I mean, we never have this bursts of passion and heat..."
"Umm, Hermione," he interrupted, "I'm kind of lost here. Why don't you start from the beginning so maybe I can try to understand what the hell are you talking about?"
She took a deep breath. "Fine. You know that Harry and I... We don't... You know," she moved her hands desperately, waiting for him to nod.
"I don't," Ron said. "You and Harry don't what."
"Oh Ron!" Hermione sighed in frustration. Then she noticed he was grinning and hit him in the arm. "Get serious, will you!?"
"Okay, okay, go on," he said laughing. Hermione was so uptight when it came to this kind of talk, and it was very fun to tease her.
"Well, do you think it bothers him?"
Ron leaned back on the bench. "Shouldn't you be asking this question to him?"
"You know he'll say no."
"Then there's your answer."
"But how can I know he's saying the truth? Maybe he's just trying to please me."
"And why would you care? Even if that was his reason, he's still okay with waiting, isn't he? That's what it matters."
"Yes, but... Sometimes I doubt that he wants me. I mean, I know that he loves me... But how can I be sure he also wants me? Don't you think our relationship it's too... platonic?"
Ron smiled. "No, I don't Hermione. The fact that you and Harry have never slept together," Hermione glared at him and he chuckled, "doesn't mean that he doesn't want you. He knows the waiting thing it's important for you, and he accepts it because he loves you and he wants you to be happy."
"If Liz had asked you to wait... What would you've done?"
"Well, for your information, I waited until we were married."
"Yes, but you only waited a month," she said. "Harry has been waiting a year."
"And more," Ron stated. "You surely don't think that he was sleeping around while he was in love with you, do you?"
Hermione smiled slightly at what he said, and Ron grinned. "Herm, I don't know why you started thinking about this, but you can be sure of one thing. Everything that Harry does is for you."
* * *
I waited for Harry in his apartment. I had almost forgot that we had had that argument in the morning and that he probably was still upset. He arrived past nine o'clock. He didn't notice me until he had already hung his cloak and left his bag on the table.
"Oh hi," he said. He didn't seem angry, but he wasn't very warm either. "Have you been waiting for long?"
I had made a decision in all that time I had been waiting for him. I was going to test him, see if he really wanted me. Hopefully, I would prove Cho wrong.
"Hermione? Are you listening to me?" he asked. He was standing in the kitchen's door frame, staring at me with a dumbfounded look.
Before he could do anything, I throw myself at him kissing him forcefully. He gasped in shock but I didn't back away. Soon, he was returning my kiss with the same force. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his arms encircled around my waist.
I parted from him, trying to catch some air.
"What was that ab-"
Once again, I didn't let him continue. I kissed him again with all the passion I could. Harry was surprised, I could tell by the way he tried to speak with my mouth on his, but the moment got the best of him, and until I backed away again, he didn't try to stop me.
"Hermione, I would re-"
Yes, you guessed. I kissed him again. I was enjoying this, specially the fact that he was totally puzzled. This time, I grabbed him by the collar and led him to the bedroom. He followed me clumsily, tripping every now and then with my feet. Without breaking the kiss, I laid on the bed pulling him so he was on top.
In case you're wondering, I wasn't planning on betraying my principle. I wanted to wait until marriage. But I also wanted to see how far we could get, or how far he would go. And let me tell you, this was the first time we had gone so far.
He finally broke the kiss against my will and looked at me in the eyes. I tried to start again, but this time he stopped me.
"Alright, what is this all about?" He asked, breathing heavily.
I bit my lip and he backed away from me and sat down on the bed. He stared at me, waiting for an answer.
"I just..." I started. What was I supposed to say?
"If you're doing this because of what happened in the morning, I'm-"
"It's not about that," I interrupted him, sitting up too. "God, this is embarrasing."
"It doesn't have to be. You can tell me anything, you know that," he said, slowly.
"I wanted to know if you wanted me like this," I blurted.
"What?"
"You heard me. You agreed to wait because I wanted to, but I've never really even tried to know how you really feel about this. You're always so correct and respectful, that I was starting to think that your love for me had something 'victorian' in it and that you'd never really desire me..." I explained, blushing.
He blinked and then laughed softly. He took my hand. "Hermione, I don't understand how that thought ever crossed your mind," he said, slowly, rubbing his thumb in my palm. "Would you have rather me being unrespectful to you and trying to force you to do something you didn't want?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course not. But-"
"Yes I know," he said. "I understand what you mean. When I told you I wanted to wait too I didn't do it just to please you. If it's important for you, it automatically becomes important to me too. We share the same principle now. I don't want you to betray the way you feel for anything in the world, you hear me? I want us to wait. And I'm respectful and correct with you because you're the woman I love. I'm sorry if I ever made you think that I didn't desire you, I-"
"Shhh," I hushed him. "Thanks Harry."
I kissed him. This time, it was a sweet and slow kiss, one that was perfect to show how we loved and cared for each other.
"Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight?" I asked.
"I'd love you to."
I laid on his bed and he laid beside me. Soon we were both asleep.
***