Being an owl for the Wizarding World, you would think that I'm used to flapping out the window delivering numerous letters to different parts of the country. I mean, sure, it's my job and everything, but this was getting ridiculous!
Harry, my beloved pet, has been sending dozens of letters to this one particular house all summer! And not just any house…his friend Hermione's house. That's right. My summer days have been full of flying back and forth between my house and her house. Seriously, it's as if they were birds of a feather even if they're not of my noble species and that the miles separating them doesn't matter.
I hate it! That darn cat, Crookshanks, always smugly looks at me, as if he's telling me "ha, ha, I don't have to do any work at all because I'm a fat, lazy cat!" Well, maybe it's time that I show my pet a lesson…
***
"Ow! Hedwig, what the heck was that for?" Harry exclaimed, nursing his finger that Hedwig had just bitten.
That was for trying to tie that letter to my leg. Don't think I don't know where *that* letter is going!
"Ouch…" Harry began to suck on his finger. "Really, I don't know what's gotten into you today. Maybe I should just use another owl."
Hah! And what owl would that be?
"I'll just have to wait for Pig to come for my birthday."
No! Not that infernal owl! I'm better!
Hedwig accidentally cuffed Harry's face with her wing in haste to perch on the windowsill. She stuck out her leg obediently and Harry tied the letter to her leg with a self-satisfied smile on his face. "I knew you'd agree after mentioning that. Now get this to Hermione's house alright?"
Who else have you been mailing these days?
Hedwig hooted once and set out into the night.
***
"Hedwig! It's good to see you again. Do you have a letter from Harry?" Hermione asked gleefully as the familiar snowy owl swept into her room. A hiss from the bed was heard, later followed by a loud squawk.
"Shh…Crookshanks, behave yourself. It's only Hedwig. And she brings news from Harry!" Hermione's face lit up as she settled down at her desk to finish reading the letter. Hedwig waited around, in case she had a reply. Meanwhile, Crookshanks' yellow eyes were still fixed upon her own amber ones.
Bird, you're here again.
The name is Hedwig, mere feline, and I am performing my duties.
Crookshanks gave a snort (or at least a cat snort. They sound different from human snorts). Then you'll be performing these duties forever.
What are you talking about?
Don't you see? Our pets are obviously smittened with each other…why do you think they can't stop writing to each other when they're not together? And they practically neglect us when they're at school.
Oh well, you see, I am an owl. Harry lets me be independent.
Hey, I'm just as independent as you are!
Hermione looked up from writing her letter to Harry and cast a stern glare over at Hedwig and Crookshanks. Hedwig looked ready to swoop down and pinch Crookshanks with her talons while Crookshanks had his claws out, prepared to swipe.
"What has gotten into you two? I swear, you haven't been this hostile towards any other pet besides Scabbers, Crookshanks. Calm down." She went back to writing.
She sounds more like a *master* to you than a pet, like Harry is to me. All your talk about independence is rubbish. Everything you talk about is rubbish.
Oh is it? We'll just see about that.
How do you mean? Hedwig cocked her head to the side curiously. Crookshanks began to nonchalantly clean his paws.
Oh no, oh no. You're probably not interested…
Hedwig didn't want to admit it, but she was. At least she got to keep some of her dignity when Crookshanks automatically assumed that her silence was one of curiosity for he continued.
Well, if you're certain. His yellow eyes met hers, each swirling maliciously at one another. I'm willing to bet you that our pets will be mates by the time the first term at school ends.
Hedwig gave a low hoot. What? You think that they'll be "mates"? She pondered on the thought. What are you willing to bet?
You do my hunting for the rest of the school year. If I lose, I'll do your hunting. You like mice and rats, don't you?
It's a deal! Hedwig gave an approving hoot. Crookshanks meowed in return.
Just then, Hermione approached them and began tying her reply to Harry to Hedwig's leg. "There you are, Hedwig. Take this back to Harry, and thanks for the letter!" She took out an Owl Treat and fed it to Hedwig, who ate it gratefully.
Don't forget our bet! Hedwig heard as she flew out the window, on her way back to Surrey.
***
Hedwig ruffled her feathers, hoping to shake off the excess water that she had accumulated from being caught in the rain. A letter was tied to her leg for Harry, so she waited for him in the Gryffindor Common Room. She was just cleaning her feathers when Crookshanks ambled in and hopped onto the seat of the armchair she was perched upon.
And where were you?
Out delivering a letter. To the dog-man.
Oh him. I remember him…he wanted me to catch that rat a few years ago.
Yeah, yeah…we've all heard your heroic story.
The sound of crackling flames in the fireplace was the only thing heard, along with some scattered students doing their homework. Hedwig began to find this unnerving.
So what did you want?
Crookshanks smiled (a cat smile) and wagged his tail loftily. I have something to show you. Follow me.
Hedwig tilted her head. Why would I want to follow you?
Crookshanks gave out a low hiss. Don't make this difficult.
Hedwig rolled her amber eyes. Alright, alright. It better not take long, I'm waiting for Harry.
Oh, don't worry about Harry. He's going to be there…
What?
Just follow me.
It was an odd sight, a ginger cat being followed by a snowy owl. Crookshanks had to meow loudly by the Portrait Hole a few times before someone opened it up for them without questions.
Impressive.
Humans seem to know what certain meows mean most of the time.
I see…
Crookshanks led Hedwig down towards the Entrance Hall.
What are we doing here? Just be patient…
Crookshanks settled himself down on the staircase, so Hedwig chose a spot on the stair railing.
What are we waiting for?
She got no reply. They just stood staring at the great, oak doors until -
They swung open, revealing a struggling Harry and Hermione. They were struggling because it's a mean feat to push open a gigantic door and kiss a person at the same time. Both were soaked from the rain, but that didn't seem to faze them.
Hedwig just looked at them aghast. When did all this happen?! It's only been two months into the term!
They went on one of their walks around the lake today. They started talking, things started getting awkward, one thing lead to another and-
You *forced* them!!!
Crookshanks actually had the modesty to look sheepish. I wouldn't say forced…I'd say a small push in the right direction.
I can't believe you! Pushing them into one another so they'd kiss and get caught in the rain…
Actually, I pushed Hermione into the lake and Harry dived in after her. She got all dreamy and "thanks for saving my life" kind of thing and that lead to the kiss…or several of them if you want to be technical.
You *pushed* your own pet into the lake?! I'm shocked!
Yeah well, food is food. You owe me five months of hunting, bird.
Hedwig hooted menacingly in Crookshanks direction as Crookshanks gave a delightful meow. He began walking back towards the Common Room and Hedwig grumpily flew back to the Owlery.
Let Harry get his own damn letter…making me lose that bet…
But of course, this all went unseen by the oblivious kissers.