A/N: Thank you to those who have reviewed. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Maybe the plot, but who knows?
Though My Heart Is From Hell
Chapter 2:
It started out as an uneventful day-the sun still shone, though it was rather dim, and the wind still blew outside. The dreadful classes went on, and everything, everywhere reminded me of…whom I was. What a surprise that was.
I walked slowly out of the great hall-and I walked alone, hiding within the shadows of the corridors. My hands were clenched and my footsteps were light. But then how was it that I could hear them thud heavily on the ground-or perhaps that was my heart? I was melancholy. I was in a good mood-better than usual. But that soon changed.
" Virginia."
I halted, my thoughts halted, my heart halted. Virginia. He called my name so softly-and yet it was as loud as a stampede of elephants. Commanding, luring, forceful. So much charisma withstanding in one simple word.
I knew he was behind me, I could feel his body there, and I could hear his soft, even breathing. My first mistake was turning around to face his eyes. His gray eyes that made me shake with fear-they held so much animosity.
Our lips were sealed, yet there was so much said with the one look he gave me. With one look of his changing gray eyes I knew what he was telling me.
I know who and what you are. Thus the odd ringing in my ears began. Denial.
My eyes darted frantically around, and I tried to shut him out, tried to run away, but I was frozen-and so was my mind. So much was said-things that could not be said with simple words, and even now I cannot contemplate clearly what he had said. Only then I knew. And only then my fear had increased; making me shudder with each breath I took. The moment that passed was merely a minute or two. But it very well could have been hours, or days, or years. Time had disappeared-slipped through my fingers like sand, and it no longer existed.
"I can give you power you had never dreamed of even in your wildest fantasies, child." His soft, strong, and dangerous voice floated from everywhere around me, surrounding me, and I was getting lost. Lost in the fog.
I can give you power you had never dreamed of even in your wildest fantasies.
Willpower. Using every ounce of willpower I had, I began to see beyond the endless fog that blurred my vision. No.
It was tantalizing, the way my whole body tingled with his words-and it was so near, so close, almost within my spindly grasp. No.
If only I said yes, if only I nodded, everything would be fine, and I would be one, I would be renewed. Yes…
But what then? Damn the question-but it was what saved me from falling. What happens to the world then? And the feelings disappeared, for reality had kicked in. And somehow, knowing that I could not say yes made me feel even weaker, making my knees buckle with pressure.
"No…" I cried, gasping for breath. His face was like stone; cold, hard, with no apparent emotion.
" No?" he mocked me, his cruel and thin lips curling up. He watched me break down with a spiteful glare, gray eyes boring holes in me as he did.
" And tell me, who are you to turn down such an offer?" he asked.
" No, I can't, Draco." I kept on, though my voice was softer.
" Aren't you a little coward?" Silence, and I was grateful. I did not answer because yes, I was a coward. I knew what I was without him telling me.
His robes swished and for a moment I was enclosed in black. Then, he was gone.
---------------------------------------+
I'm drowning in pools of sweat and blood and I cannot see anything beyond it. I shake and shudder with a cold that I cannot describe, and though there is fire, I do not feel warmer. Fear is present within me, and I think I am screaming, for the shrill, bloodcurdling sound is sure to be mine…
Sobs interrupt the night's silence. I knew I was shaking, and I felt hot and cold at the same time. Dreams. Dreams that did not make sense-but that was why they were so terrible, because my heart understood and I did not understand my heart.
My eyes traveled over to the window and I noted that the stars looked oddly bright tonight. Oh, how I wished I were one of them, not one looking for hope, but the one to give hope to those who were lost. I wanted to be free like the wind, to let Ginny Weasley's spirit overtake myself, to become complete. To be the smiling girl I was once upon a time.
How did he know?
That had been my first rational thought after my encounter with him. But the question merely bounced back to me.
How could he not know?
Of course. He was smart, bright, witty-whatever adjective you choose. He was quick-of course he knew I was different. I smiled half-heartedly, feeling an odd, warm feeling creep up my spine. My Draco had looked past my boring exterior and he had seen me for who I was-he had, for a brief moment, seen my troubles. And it made me love and hate him even more. Because though he was the first to see me without my mask, he was the one who had taken advantage of it, he had been the one to sneer at me so coldly, laughing at my pathetic life.
Danger. The word echoed through me. Now that he knew-and it would do no good to deny it, for he had seen me at my weakest-everything was in danger.
He would manipulate me, because my secret was out. I would fall hard. My heart would be burnt and tortured and I would become Virginia, a ruthless girl with no heart at all. I did not want it to be so. Ah, but what I gift it was to know what was coming for me-I had thought on the matter many times before, and the knowledge made me even more fearful.
. My life will eventually be gone, and I would be stripped of any sane thoughts. I knew I would be miserable. But furthermore, I knew what danger it brought upon the world. Voldemort was rising to power. His Death Eaters followed. Draco was powerful for I see it every day in his eyes. But above all, I knew what I was capable of. Or what I was capable of with Tom's immeasurable powers. I remembered the look that Draco had flung toward me moments before he had left. He knew I had won this time.
But I'll be back, Virginia. And I will win.
Already the world was on the brink of war, and hope was already bleak in this war that had not yet started. The few that were powerful had died many years ago-and so many chose the path of betrayal because of their lack of bravery. Already the light side was out-numbered, and it took merely the slight push of the teeter-tottering balance to change the whole aspect of the world.
And I knew what I had to do. Because though I was destined to evil, that was not what I wanted. I did not want the world to perish on my account-or Voldemort's for that matter. I knew I had to help in any way I could, and it would take a million miracles. But somehow, perhaps I could rekindle the part of Draco Malfoy that I knew was there, hidden deep beneath layers of his scornful thoughts.
I had seen it once or twice within his eyes, once upon a time-in the moments when he was alone, when he smiled softly, making his whole face glow beautifully-- and perhaps the alliance against Voldemort would strengthen because of it, and perhaps the world would have a chance. And I needed a miracle. More so because I did not know whether or not I had the strength to fight against His lingering spirit-the battle within myself. I wasn't sure of anything, however, and I did not know if any thing would work out the way I planned to. The only comforting thought was the fact that I wanted to help-that I had not yet lost all hope. But who knew where I would be standing tomorrow?
I looked toward the stars once more, feeling so cold though it was a rather warm night. I sighed.
I needed a miracle.
---------------------------------------------+
The Great Hall buzzed with noise, just like any other day, and just like any other day, I sat towards the end of the table, right next to Ron. Just like any other day, I picked at my food and listened to their idle talk disinterestedly. But today, their faces were dotted with apprehension as they talked in rather hushed voices.
' Have you read the Daily Prophet yet?' Hermione held up the black and white newspaper with a flourish, the headline bold and clear.
10 Muggles Killed In Last Nights Attack
My eyes flew over to Harry and Ron to see their reaction, and their faces were grim, an odd fear in each pair of eyes. Words that weren't spoken were understood.
So close to war…
It nearly scared me, how little effect the news had on me. Perhaps because the news was so common, as common as the birds chirping on the bright, sunny morning.
Images flashed through me, images of the death eaters killing the innocent people, images of Draco killing them. The fact was no longer a surprise, not after what he had said to me so enticingly last night.
My precious Draco having blood stains over his robes…
More than anything at that moment, I wanted to stop him, I wanted to see him back when he was a child, when he was naïve.
My chair screeched loudly as I pushed it back to stand up. Ron's troubled eyes looked up to mine questioningly.
' Ginny?' My mouth opened, and I searched for the right words.
' I-I…have to go…' I stuttered. I looked calm as ever, I knew, and for that I was proud, but as I walked placidly out of the Great Hall full of laughter, my hands shook beside me. The shadow that filled my inside had grown larger.
For the millionth time my thoughts lingered on the present danger, and they lingered on the single thought that I could not let myself sin, that I could not let Him win. I could not let the dark win.
A loud whoosh whipped past me, leaving my cheeks stinging, and then followed a clatter. I looked down and saw books before me, books that were not my own. And down on the floor was him, picking up the books with his long, slender fingers, his blonde hair immaculately clean, I noticed.
A million exhilarating thoughts rushed through me.
Stop everything. Tell him. Stop him. Win.
And things should have changed the moment I opened my mouth to pour my soul out to him. To take the chance to make him see new light.
But it all stopped with his eyes, the same way it had begun. He looked up at me, face so cruel, eyes even crueler, and they made my heart stop with pain.
I feared him.
'Virginia…' His murmur was full of disdain, obviously the memory of last night still present.
Who are you to turn down such an offer?
There were so many questions I wanted to ask him-questions that I had already guessed answers to. The urge was so great, to get somewhere within this whirlwind of hell, to understand better. But I was a coward, and I could not move while staring into those eyes. All the while, I had a feeling he knew what I wished to do. He raised one perfect blonde eyebrow and I knew he was mocking me yet again. Tears came to my eyes as I struggled not to blink, not to let him win.
In the end it was I who walked away. He looked back down to pick up his last book, and I ran.
Ran like the coward I was, for I wanted to get away from my life, if only for a moment…
I felt so naïve afterwards, when the tears had shamefully fallen again. Naïve that I had ever believed anything could be achieved so simply.
I needed a plan-something so inevitable, something so strong-to make even the great Draco Malfoy to go weak in the knees. I needed a plan to unleash the secret to changing destiny-and I very well hoped it was possible.
Overcome fear…
To be continued…
A/N: Review please.