Unofficial Portkey Archive

A/N: Hi guys! How was Eid for all you Muslims out there? I had the best time! In Malaysia, we call it Hari Raya. This is an entry in my diary but of course I changed a lot so, if you want to ridicule me about the plot , just remember that it's my life.

Just another Jaded Teenager

By

Nurhani.

I believe in fidelity, I believe that ever soul has another , this isn't irrefragable , this isn't based on facts but I will and want to believe it is true. I have heard this from my Islamic teacher, an ustazah that love is only once in a life time and that you will meet that person someway or somehow , a person who will make an impact on you, not your first love but your true love , your "jodoh" , as we say in Malay. I know as I maunder this , dear reader that you will consent me as a hopeless romantic, someone who has her head in the sky , a person living in a so called fairy tale but I believe that there is a person meant to be for you , reader and there is a soul mate for me too. I assure you , dear reader that I am not frangible on this subject.

For I know you, reader is currently wondering what connection the past paragraph has to Harry and Hermione. Harry is obviously in a state of privation, he needs someone and I believe that person is Hermione. In the fourth book, Hermione was the only one who believed him , her feelings for him didn't even cajole, so, what I am trying to say is that their souls are linked in some way that she will always be there for him and he will always be there for her. What about Ron? Seriously, Ron is kind hearted no doubt, but he is also an obnoxious pig! I mean really Hermione wont fall for someone like this. I want what Hermione and Harry have , they just seem like soul mates and I hope they are. What I would like to say now is that I'm sorry if I was a bit emotional on this subject , I know this seems a bit quixotic but I want it to be like this and I believe it will.

***

The only amount of spasm that I have felt , reader is when he's not by me, loving me and caring for me. For it is a fact reader, I am in love with him for who he has built himself to be and the amount of benevolence that is rested in him . I am not a fan but I am a friend, and that is what I am condemned to be for the rest of my imprudent life. I believed for four days and three nights that he loved me too , I was wrong. I still remember reader , when he instilled those painful words upon my ears. Those words that have been the cause of my depression, the walls of my asylum , my grave. -

"We weren't meant to be"

It's gladdening how that person who your 'not meant to be' with is still on your mind . Orally , I admitted that we weren't but there was something , something throbbing in my heart that we were. There is a statement in the Quran and the Bible that a rib from a man was taken for a woman. If this is true, mine is from Harry's. If you, reader have not experienced true love, you have not felt what I have felt for him. For those four nights and three days we were together, I felt my life was complete, nothing in the world could annul our love. Again reader, I was fallacious, but when he beheld me , I could faintly feel the exalt that he owned. It's obvious that I was being the impolitic person that I am, for when he told me those five malicious words, his eyes were gleaming in certainty, his firm grip on my trembling hands , it was all too real to be not.

*** September 1st

It's the day I return to Hogwarts, the day I am bestowed the honor of being head girl , the day I get to reunite with my sunny and buoyant girlfriends, whoopee [sagaciously] !. As my stare wanders outside the car window, I gazed at the tall buildings that towered over me . Unexpectedly, my thoughts lingered to him, it's uncanny how every single positive revolution insists on me to reminisce about him.

As the car abruptly stopped , I studied my face on the side mirror, with another coruscate outside the window , I looked at the kids bidding farewell to their loved ones. I sighed , they have nothing but a brief elucidation of what love is. I stepped out of my four wheel drive , looking down at my wrinkled robs , I persevered to iron them with my bare hands .Walking off with barely even a goodbye to my parents, I could dispute my mother shaking her head at my isolation.

Parvati and Lavender soon impinged my amble towards platform 9 ¾. Their prattle was agonizing , I was definitely reluctant to join, but I had to, to remain friends with them I had to entertain them. On the train, I traveled from carriage to carriage looking for where Ron and Harry were seated.

As my head probed in one of the carriages I noticed that this was where I met them , that red headed boy with dirt on his face and Harry. I was running that day, running for a frog , a frog that I presumed would gain me an acquaintance. I was about to run ahead until a ruffled hair boy caught my eye. Hesitantly, I looked at him and those asinine words escaped my mouth "have u seen a frog"(A/N: I know these really aren't the words but let's do with it).

I laughed at the memoir, what a foolish preteen I was! Now, I'm an absurd teenager, how huge a change. A warm hand was placed on my hip, I knew who it belonged to. As I whirled to face him , a small smile crept on his rosy lips . He inched nearer to me, his bosom on mine and his face far too near mine. Provocative thoughts ran through my head as his thermal breaths cascaded over my lips.

"Harry" I exhaled, his eyes shot open and his orifice connected with my colored cheek. I mentally kicked myself as I muttered his name. I looked over at Ron who asked :

"Let's use this carriage"

"Sure" we replied in unison.

***

I watched Harry's closed eyes as he was in deep slumber. I remembered when he first asked me on our first rendezvous. It was late at night, I heard a strange sound coming from the common room. I walked down and saw him , reading with contemporary music filling the milieu. A devious plan filled my head as I approached him, I was about to seize him until he annexed my hands gently. He stood up and pulled me closer while requesting dance , I accepted bewildered. I still remember the lyrics to the song "Is your heart still mine? I wanna cry sometimes", it harmonized the atmosphere, he was now clutching onto me as if not wanting to let go. Then he whispered in my ear "Will you go out with me, Hemione Granger" , I was only competent to riposte a simple word "yes".

My eyes still on his closed ones , his ruffled hair falling on his temples , I leaned in to whisk them away but as my faint touch laid on his porcelain skin , his green eyes shot open. At that moment, as we stared into each other's eyes , I knew for a fact that I couldn't transgress my venerate for him but he had mine. I gratified at that moment, I am just another jaded teenager.

I met you during a train ride,

To go to the horizon,

I truly wish you were by my side,

Right now, I'm here in trepidation,

We started out as friends,

Ended up as lovers,

You were always there to lend a hand,

Sadly, I was always the misnomer,

You're my misery,

You were my happiness,

That's all you had to be,

Now, you extinguished my brightness,

How funny life is,

one day, our love at the core,

devouring a kiss,

And the other, I could not hate you more,

We would sit by the moonlight,

Drinking glasses of wine,

Having an absurd fight,

But as a tear shed, you would know my tine,

Love is frequent,

And soon you would learn to move on,

Funny, mine cant,'

I know that it will never be gone,

Words, words , words,

vulgar, romantic, sweet,

all he gave me were disaccords,

but not with him, I never did weep,

So, now , as I end this ramblings,

I have a short narration,

For a man or rather , a boy, who carries my feelings,

If you are reading this publication,

'I love you'

A/N: This may seem a bit wordy but I decided to make it that way since it is from Hermione's POV. Now, for the mushy part, this is from my diary (of course , I had to change a lot) but the main idea is here. So, you are actually viewing a day in the life of Nurhani.