Chapter 4
Bill was in Leigh's quarters while she lay dead to the world in her bed. She still hadn't woken up from her startling fainting spell yet. He stood in the doorway watching her as memories ran through his head and tears silently ran down his cheek.
*Flashback*
"It is now time for the Head Boy and Head Girl to start off the dances!"
Bill smiled and looked to the beautiful young lady standing next to him, imitating a formal voice, he asked, "May I have this dance, Miss Watts?"
She smiled back and replied, in the same voice, "You certainly may."
He laughed, took her hand, and led her to the center of the dance floor.
As the music began, she put her head on Bill's shoulder, where it fit perfectly. "Wow…I can't believe the Christmas holidays are almost over. Just a few more months and then we're thrown out to the real world…it's so scary."
"I know…but we'll have each other, right?"
A small, contented smile came upon her face as she whispered to him, "Forever and always...I'm so in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Good…me too," he smiled, "I love you so much, Leigh."
*End of flashback*
Leigh finally stirred softly in her head. Bill immediately left his position and ran to the side of her bed.
"Wow, that was really weird. I dreamt…" she stopped abruptly, seeing Bill. Memories flooded her mind…some not-so-pleasant memories…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Merlin, those exams nearly killed me!" Leigh exclaimed to her friend Whitnee. "I've never been so relieved to finish the end-of-year exams!"
Whitnee laughed. "You and me both!"
They continued talking about the exams as their friend Shawn came up and said, "Leigh…there's something you need to see…now. Come with me."
"What is it, Shawn?"
"You'll see," he replied, leading her to a door that led to an empty classroom. But as she looked in, she saw that it wasn't so empty. "I'm so sorry," Shawn said.
But Leigh didn't register his apology. Her mouth was open in shock and her breathing became irregular as her eyes remained glued to the sight in front of her. Her heart shattered into an infinite amount of pieces. Bill…her boyfriend, Bill…was kissing a girl that wasn't her. Out of the corner of her eye, the girl that was kissing Bill saw Leigh and immediately put space between herself and Bill. Bill, confused about the sudden distance, followed her line of sight to Leigh. "Oh, crud. This…isn't what it looks like!"
But Leigh didn't stay to hear the rest of it. She tore down the hallway trying to run away from everything that just happened…not wanting to face it. She ran and ran until she got outside. She kept running until she reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest where she fell to her knees and started sobbing. Her body shook as she started to register exactly what she had just seen. She sat out there for hours, just crying.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*A month later*
Leigh was miserable. After Bill had cheated on her, she broke up with him; not able to deal with being able to see his face…because every time she did that…horrible…scene came flashing through her mind.
Determined to get over him, she found a job working at St. Mungo's. Leigh figured that since she liked Potions and Charms so much, it might as well be a good place to start. She kept herself busy…buried herself in her studies…just so she wouldn't have to think about the drastic turns her life had taken.
It was at just such a time when she received the news. Finally tearing her eyes away from the book, she looked up at the person standing in front of her…Shawn.
"Shawn!" she said, as she got to greet her fellow co-worker from the hospital, "It's so great to see you!"
His reaction was not the same, however. His face was grim and solemn…yet sympathetic. He spoke, "You probably won't feel that way in a minute…"
"What do you mean?"
"I came to tell you something…"
"Oh…not again…"
"Yeah…always seems like I'm the bearer of bad news, huh?" She forced a smile as he continued, "You'll probably want to sit down for this."
So she did, sighing, as she asked the one question she really didn't want to, "What happened?"
"It's about Bill…" Her eyes flared up in anger and pain at the mention of him…but if one looked closely, they could see concern as well. He continued, "He came into the hospital this morning."
"What? What's wrong with him? What happened? Is he hurt?"
"Not anymore…" he trailed off…insinuating the worst had happened to him. Leigh's eyes were now as wide as saucers, her chest hurting from lack of air as she had stopped breathing, but she ignored the pain as she listened to Shawn. "You know that he was working for the Ministry in the Misuse of Muggle Objects department." She nodded. "Well, anyway, they got a notice this morning about a guy doing some stuff with some muggle things…dark things. It seemed like just any other call, but when they got there, the wizard had pretty much gone insane. He had this one muggle thing…a gun, a kind of muggle wand, I guess…and he grabbed it. He started waving it around and threatening everyone not to come closer. Bill knew what it was and how dangerous it was, so he started trying to calm the man down, talking to him and everything. It seemed like he was getting through to the guy…he had stopped waving the gun and shouting. He just stood there, listening to Bill and looking at him with a calm look on his face. Then, he apparently just raised the gun…and shot Bill three times in his chest. He didn't make it."
Leigh didn't say anything, she just sat there with tears rolling down her cheeks. Slowly, the tears turned into sobs. Shawn came to her and allowed her to cry on his shoulders.
*End of Flashback*
They stared at each other for a few minutes…just registering the fact that they were really both there.
"No…" Leigh said softly, "you…you're dead."
Bill grimaced, "I know."
"You died 17 years ago…that guy shot you!"
"I know…"
"Then why the heck are you alive?"
"Because physically, I never died. It's…well…complicated."
At this point, Leigh was sitting up in her bed, staring at Bill as though he was a ghost from her past, but then again…he was. She threw her legs off the side of the bed and pushed herself up with her hands, trying to stand up…key word trying. However, she was still weak from fainting and her legs gave out on her. Bill rushed to catch her before she fell. Shaken up, Leigh held onto Bill, briefly forgetting everything he had done to her and just remembering how good it felt in his arms.
"Are you okay?" Bill asked, with genuine concern in his voice, looking in her eyes.
"Yeah," she answered softly.
He led her to the couch in the nearby living room and helped her sit back down before sitting down himself.
Bill softly said, "You changed your last name…"
"Yeah, I did. Does it really matter to you?" She answered, "Last time I saw you, you didn't seem to care about me so much."
"Don't say that. That's not true."
"Oh, really? Then you wanna explain to me why the last time I saw you, you had your tongue down another woman's throat?!" she shot back, anger flaring in her eyes as she abruptly stood up, her adrenaline overpowering her weakness.
Bill remained silent, not exactly sure how to answer that. They stared at each other with fierce eyes and clenching mouths for a few minutes before Bill finally asked, "Why did you change your last name?"
Leigh sighed and simply said, "Because I got married."
He didn't say anything, his suspicions confirmed, "Who did you marry?"
Leigh looked at him, "I think you know the answer to that already."
Bill finally put two and two together, "Shawn?! You married Shawn Collins??"
"Yeah, I did."
"But I thought you couldn't stand him."
"I couldn't at first, but he was always good to me…and he was there for me when you weren't."
"But you didn't love him, did you?"
Leigh paused before she answered, "No, I didn't…but he loved me. He knew I didn't really love him, but he always said he'd rather play second fiddle than not be in the band at all. Maybe he always hoped I'd grow to love him."
"Did he ever make you laugh?" Bill asked, standing up and walking over where Leigh stood.
Leigh looked at him, tears burning her eyes and she said with her voice cracking, "He didn't make me cry."
Bill started to say something but then stopped because he didn't know what to say to that.
"Please go," Leigh said as her tears started to roll down her cheeks again.
"Leigh…"
"GO!"
He clenched his teeth and then said, "Fine."
Leigh watched him turn and walk toward the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Bill walked quickly into his room. When he reached the door he opened it and then slammed it shut behind him.
He paced his living room furious, completely oblivious to a figure sitting on his couch. After a few minutes had passed, and Bill had settled down somewhat, the mysterious person spoke, "So I take it that things didn't go very well?" scaring Bill half to death and he leapt three feet into the air (had any of his Defense Against the Dark Arts students witnessed this, they would have sniggered their heads off.)
"What the-" Bill shouted but stopped seeing who it was, "Jeez, Professor Dumbledore! Don't do that!!"
"My apologies."
"Wait a second…" Bill said as a realization hit him squarely in the forehead, "YOU!! You…conniving, manipulative…"
Dumbledore interrupted him, "Perhaps I should remind you that you are still talking to your boss…" he smiled.
"I DON'T CARE!!" Bill yelled. "How could you not tell me that you hired Leigh?!?!"
"Simple…because if I did, you would have refused the job."
"No duh! I left my past behind for a reason, so it wouldn't come back and slap me across the face!"
"Look, you're not Bill Buck anymore. Those days are over; you don't need to be him anymore."
"Well, I'm sure as heck not William Potter anymore, now am I?"
"That's debatable."
"No…it's not. William Potter died a long time ago…he doesn't exist anymore."
"He doesn't exist only because you refuse to let him."
"It's not my decision!"
"No, Bill…it is. You're just too stubborn to admit it."
"Well then….I guess we have a problem."
"We? You…you, Bill. You have a problem. You gave up your life years ago…and now you're too scared to find out what'll happen if you take it back." Bill only stared at him, so Dumbledore continued, "And you know what? You just may be right. Perhaps William really did die…because the William I knew…wouldn't be afraid to live again."
Bill remained silent as he couldn't come up with a reply…and because Dumbledore's words had really hit close to heart. He breathed heavily and sat down on the couch next to Dumbledore, realizing what he had been doing all along…running away.
Dumbledore continued, "I can't make you do anything. I may not even be able to help you at all. It's all up to you…it's not me, the Ministry, or even Leigh…it's all you."
Bill looked at him, knowing what Dumbledore is saying is the truth…but still not quite able to accept it.
Dumbledore stood up and walked to the door, then stopped and said wisely, "I don't think I can really help you, but here's my advice anyway…start with yourself and then worry about Leigh. You can't love if you're not alive." And with that he left Bill to face his thoughts.
I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
And it's one of those moments
When everything is so clear
Before the truth comes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
To work on finding something more than this fear
It takes so much out of me to pretend
Tell me now, tell me how to make amends
Maybe, I need to see the daylight
To leave behind this half-life
Don't you see I'm breaking down?
Lately, something here don't feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape?
No escape from time
Of any kind
I keep trying to understand
This thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
When I figure it out
But I don't mind a few mysteries
They can stay that way its fine by me
But you are another mystery I am missing
It takes too much out of me to pretend
Maybe, I need to see the daylight
To leave behind this half-life
Don't you see I'm breaking down?
Lately, something here don't feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape?
No escape from time
Of any kind
Come on let's fall in love
Come on let's fall in love
Come on let's fall in love
Again
'Cause lately something here don't feel right
This is just a half-life,
Without you I am breaking down
Wake me, I want to see the daylight
Save me from this half-life
Let's you and I escape
Escape from time
Come on let's fall in love
Come on let's fall in love
Come on let's fall in love
Again