Chapter 2
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But I can't help it if I'm helpless every time that I'm where you are
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*Flashback*
"You're late," Draco said briskly.
"Yeah, well, it's not that easy to sneak out," Ginny retorted.
He shrugged. "It is for me."
"You have a couple of distinct advantages…" she replied, looking at him and catching her eye on something that was hanging over his arm.
"And those would be…?"
Ginny sighed and rolled her eyes, "One, everyone in Slytherin House is terrified of you," then under her breath she added, "Why, I'll never know."
"Are you trying to say that you're not scared of me?"
"I have no reason to be."
"My father's a death eater!"
"Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you are."
Draco was silent for a moment as he pondered her words, and then he asked, "What's the other advantage?"
She scoffed, "You have an invisibility cloak."
"Ahh, yes…it does come in handy from time to time."
She shrugged, "Look, can we just get going for my tutoring? I don't particularly want to stay up very late," she paused, "Where are we going anyway?"
"That…I can't tell you."
"And why not?"
"It's my special place, no one else knows where it is…except Snape."
"So if you don't show me where it is, how am I supposed to get there?"
Draco smirked and pulled out a blindfold.
"Oh no," she let out a disbelieving laugh, "You don't seriously expect me to put that on, do you?"
"Well, if you don't want tutoring then." He shrugged and turned away.
She let out an exasperated sigh, "Fine! I'll do it."
"I knew you'd come around," he said as he slid behind her and put the blindfold over her eyes.
As darkness came over her eyes, Ginny murmured, "I can't believe I'm trusting a Malfoy."
"Just because my father lies doesn't mean I do."
"Ha! And just what do you call that stunt you pulled in your second year? Honestly, pretending to be hurt to postpone a Quidditch match?"
He replied softly, "That was a long time ago…things are different now." He changed the subject before Ginny could say anything, "Come on, let's go," as he threw the invisibility cloak over both of them and took her arm to guide her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Present*
"So…spill!" Hermione told Ginny as she plopped down on the bed beside her, eagerly awaiting her answer.
Ginny looked up from the book she was reading, "Spill what?"
"Oh, don't give me that! What's all this between you and Malfoy?"
"Nothing…he's just…helping me out in Potions is all."
"You mean he's tutoring you?"
"Yeah."
"You could have come to me for help," Hermione said, a little hurt.
"Nah…you have your hands full with just the boys."
"Yeah, good point. So how long has Malfoy been helping you?"
"A couple of weeks."
"When? How?"
"At night," she shrugged, "he waits outside the Gryffindor portrait for me and then takes me to where we study."
"So that's where you've been going!"
"You knew?"
"Yeah, but I just figured you had a boyfriend that you didn't want Ron to know about."
"Ron! You can't tell him about Draco! You can't!"
"Will you relax? I'm…not…going to…" she trailed off as she realized something Ginny said.
"What?" Ginny asked, her eyebrows creasing in confusion.
Hermione replied in a soft voice, "You just called him…Draco," saying his name as though it was foreign to her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore
Oh, I know, I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What? I did not!" she exclaimed, denying it.
"You did…you're on a first-name basis with him. You're friends."
Ginny sighed, "Yeah, I guess we are…so what?"
"So what? Ginny, he's a jerk!"
"No, he's not," she automatically responded.
"Ginny, he's called me a mudblood since my first year!"
"Has he called you a mudblood this year?" Ginny retorted.
"Well…" she paused, realizing something, "no…"
"Has he been bugging you, Harry, or Ron?"
"No."
"And he's helping me with Potions! Don't you see? He's changed; he's not a jerk anymore. He's just a guy who's made some mistakes!"
As Ginny continued defending him, Hermione was quickly putting the puzzle pieces together and a small smile started forming on her face.
"What?" Ginny asked, noticing the look on Hermione's face.
"You're in love with him."
"No, I'm not!"
"You are. You just haven't realized it."
"No, I'm n-" Ginny started, but stopped as she remembered what happened a couple of nights ago…
*Flashback*
"Okay," Draco said in a patient voice, "now…drop in the bat wing…"
Ginny did as he said and her potion turned a reddish-orange.
Draco smiled and said softly, "Perfect."
Ginny looked shocked, "I did it?!" she asked, turning to face him.
He laughed, "You did it!"
Ginny squealed and exclaimed, "I did it!" as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.
Draco stood there frozen, not sure what to do at first until he finally thawed and slowly brought his arms up and put them gently around her. As he did this, Ginny realized who she was hugging and her arms loosened a bit as she felt his arms wrapping around her. They just stood there for a few minutes holding each other.
Draco murmured softly, "So this is what it feels like…"
"What what feels like?" Ginny asked as she pulled away gently to look at him. Her gaze traced the outline of his jaw, continued to his hair which fell softly into his eyes, and stopped on a single tear that was rolling down his cheek as he whispered,
"What it's like to be hugged."
In that one statement, Ginny finally understood just how his life was…cold and unfeeling. No wonder he's so miserable, she thought as she quickly pulled him into another hug, one that lasted quite a while.
*Present*
"Oh, bugger it!" Ginny exclaimed softly as she realized the depth of her feelings for Draco, "I am in love with him…" She put her head in her hands.
Hermione smiled softly and she stood up to leave Ginny alone to sort out her feelings. But just before she reached the door, she turned and asked Ginny one last question, "So what are you going to do about it?" Not giving Ginny a chance to reply, she left.
"I wish I knew, Hermione…I really wish I knew."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Loving you
Yeah, isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah
I should try to be strong
But baby, you're the right kind of wrong
Yeah, baby, you're the right kind of wrong
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Last night*
"Wow…this room is incredible, Malfoy! How'd you find it?"
"Dumbledore showed it to me at the beginning of the year. Seemed to think I might want a place to retreat to every now and then, seeing as how my father's in jail and all."
"Huh…makes sense." Her gaze moved around the whole of the room, glancing at the trinkets within it.
Draco furrowed his eyebrows at Ginny, "It does?"
"Yeah," she said as she looked at Draco, "it's just the thing Dumbledore would do."
"I guess so."
"How do you feel about your father being in jail?"
He shrugged, "Doesn't make any difference to me."
She snorted, "Yeah, sure it doesn't. He's only your father, why should it matter?"
Draco said harshly, "I wouldn't call him my father. He's done nothing to deserve that title except contribute his sperm!" He smiled mirthlessly at that, and then added, "Maybe not even that."
She raised an eyebrow, "You don't like him much, do you?"
"Well, thank you for pointing out that disarmingly obvious point. Let me put it this way; next to him…Potter's my favorite person."
"Funny, you used to worship your father."
"`Used to' being the operative term there."
"You sure are touchy about this," she noted.
"Yeah, well, it's a sensitive subject."
"He must have done something good for you."
"Ha! Let's see what he didn't do. He never said he loved me or that he was proud of me. He never tucked me into bed when I was younger or read me bedtime stories. He never treated me like a kid…much less his son." He paused before continuing, "He did do some stuff though….he beat my mother so hard that sometimes her face was just…black and blue. And every time I `put one toe out of line,' he'd take his cane and hit me on my back with it so that I would `learn my lesson.' He's not my father. He'd give me up in an instant if there was something in it for him."
Ginny stood there looking at him as unshed tears burned her eyes from the passion in his voice. I never realized… "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be. It's just life, right?" Ginny remained silent so he spoke again, "Look, let's just get on with the lesson, okay?" I don't need your sympathy."
"Fine…" she whispered, "But just so you know, I don't feel sorry for you."
"Good."
Draco went over to his bookshelf, picked out a book and turned it to the right page before he asked, "Okay, so what happens if you put 2 frog legs and 3 tarantula legs into an escople potion?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Present*
As the memory of that moment played over and over in Ginny's head like a broken record, she slowly came to realize the depth, the…profoundness of the words Draco had spoken. He didn't speak like a man scorned, though he had been, but rather as someone who had known nothing other than that…nothing other than pain. Damn it! Why does he have to intrigue me the way he does?!
After a few minutes, Ginny still wasn't finding any peace so she decided to do something…I need to talk to him. So she did something she didn't really expect to do…she wrote a letter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco was sitting on the couch when a sudden flash of orange caught his attention.
"What the-" he stopped upon realizing what it was. "A cat…"
Not just any cat...an ugly cat.
"Good Merlin! Who'd want you?" he asked in disbelief. Suddenly, something clicked in his mind, remembering what he had seen years ago, "You're Granger's cat! What are you doing here?" Crookshanks promptly turned away from him, revealing a scroll that had been stuffed into his collar.
He laughed, "A letter?!" And then, as he retrieved the letter, he asked with a taunting tone in his voice, "So have you always been Granger's messenger?"
The tabby cat merely glared at him as if to say, "Shut up."
When Draco finally got the letter out and opened it, Crookshanks left. He read,
Draco-
Meet me in the room. I really need to talk to you…it's urgent!
~G.W.
When he finished reading, a worried expression came over his face and he immediately threw the letter into the fire, retrieved his cloak and set off for the room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ginny was nervously pacing in the room where she and Draco studied. Thoughts and questions were furiously racing through her mind, refusing to grant her wish of peace.
Silently, the portrait swung open and allowed an invisible being to enter the room. Ginny twirled around and asked, "Draco?"
He threw off his cloak and ran to Ginny asking, "Ginny, are you okay? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, I just had to see you," she replied, looking into his eyes. Suddenly, with the force of a cannon blast, she realized the truth of her words…She had to see him… As soon as she saw Draco, her troubled thoughts slowly ebbed away…except one. Slowly, she worked up the courage to ask him, "Nothing's wrong with me….but I want to know what's wrong with you?"
He backed away, "I already told you that it's none of your business."
"That's just it! It may not be, but I'm not asking for my sake! I'm asking for yours! You may not see it or feel it, but I do!" She yelled and then softly said, "It's tearing you apart, Draco."
"So what does it matter to you? You don't care about me! Just my tutoring services!"
She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall, "I don't know. I don't know why I care so much. Maybe it's because over these last few months I've spent a lot of time with you and I've begun to regard you as a friend. You've shown me this whole side of you that I didn't even know existed! I don't know how to deal with the fact that the person I've hated for the last five years isn't really a bad person after all!" She sighed, "It doesn't really matter why I care or when I started caring about you…all that matters is that I do and that I'm worried about you."
"I can take of myself."
"Oh, that is such bull, Draco!"
"It's the truth!"
"I don't believe you!"
"Well, you'd bet-"
At this point, Ginny lost control of both her patience with Draco and her feelings for him, so she did the one thing she could think of to take care of both problems….she kissed him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It might be a mistake
A mistake I'm making
But what you're giving I am happy to be taking
'Cause no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm in your arms
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