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Chapter 1: The Attempt
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Hermione Granger sighed and set down her quill, finished. She had spent most of the night on this. She quickly made a copy of her document and then lay her wand on her bedside table, along with the locket Harry had given her for Christmas. She rolled up the two lengths of parchment and set them on her bedside table as well. Then she changed into her favorite dress, a sky blue and yellow striped one. She went to bed.
~~~The Next Morning~~~
Hermione woke up feeling gloomy. She knew what she was going to do. Now she just had to do it. She stood up and picked up the two rolls of parchment. Sighing, she brushed her hair out and and took a final look at the picture of Harry on her beside table. Slowly, she picked it up and kissed it.
"I love you Harry," she whispered, setting the picture down and walking out of the dorm.
As she walked through the Common Room, she purposely dropped one of the rolls of parchment on a table. Then she headed over to the portrait hole, walking past Harry and Ron without a glance.
"Hey, Herm, where're you going?" Harry asked.
"Nowhere. Just a walk," she replied casually.
"Can I come with?"
"No!" She snapped this unexpectedly, and immediately regretted her tone. "I need to be alone," she added quickly, fleeing. She walked through the silent halls down to the Entrance Hall, where she pinned up the second roll of parchment to the bulletin board. Then, just as she was about to walk out, someone spoke.
"Hello, Granger." She whipped around.
"What do you want, Malfoy?"
"I want to know why you're so dressed up today, Mudblood," Malfoy replied, sneering.
"Go shove it up your ass," Hermione replied, turning.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, go shove it up your damn ass!"
"Why, you little...." He started toward her, most likely to slap her or some other form of torture. She immediately ran outside. Surprisingly, he didn't follow her.
'Thank God', she thought as she ran to the edge of the forest. She began to walk slowly along it, heading for the lake.
###In the Common Room###
"What's with her?" Harry asked.
Ron shrugged. Suddenly, he noticed the roll of parchment on the table next to theirs. "Hey, what's this?" he asked, picking it up and opening it. He read it through, becoming paler and paler as he read on. Finally, he set it on the table and turned it towards Harry.
"You might want to read this, Harry." Harry picked it up and began to read:
To Whom It May Concern:
I guess you could call this the story of my life so far. I'm writing this for no actual purpose, so to speak. Except for one small reason that shall be revealed at the end of this letter.
I was born in York, England, on September 19, 1980. I had a happy childhood. I was a very avid reader, and had read all the books my parents had bought me at least twice before the age of ten.
At school, I was praised by my teachers and some of the older students as well. However, the students in my grade did not like me much because I always got the best grades and had the answer to any question the teacher asked. They always teased me about my bushy hair, which has tamed quite a bit since then. But at least once a week, I would come home crying because somebody had been teasing me. My parents did the best they could, but even they could not put a stop to the teasing.
Then I got my letter from Hogwarts. When I first read it, I could not believe my eyes. A witch! Me! Someone like me, who has been teased all her life, could think of no better way to get revenge on the teasers. I could curse them all to tiny bits. Then I remembered that revenge was not the right thing.
I got all my books and supplies within days of getting the letter. As usual, I read all my books immediately.
On the train, I met two boys, a dark haired one and a red haired one. I started babbling on about all the spells I had learned. Then I realized they were looking rather uncomfortable, so I cut off and hastily introduced myself. The dark haired boy introduced himself as Harry Potter. I immediately told him I had read all about him. The red haired boy introduced himself as Ron Weasley.
Little did I know that they would become my friends later on.
One night, I caught Harry and Ron sneaking out. I, of course, followed them to ensure they did not get into trouble. That ended up with me almost being eaten by a three headed dog named Fluffy. I did not speak to Ron or Harry from then on.
Then came Halloween. As we left Charms class that afternoon, I heard Ron call me a... something. I can't really remember, but I know it made me start crying. I rushed to the nearest bathroom. I was still in there when a gigantic mountain troll lumbered in and started thrashing about. I, of course, screamed. Then Harry and Ron came to my rescue. They battled the mountain troll courageously, but would have lost House points had it not been for me. From then on, we were friends.
I have always felt a love for Harry and Ron. It was the love that all best friends have for each other. But over the years, I have begun to feel something more for Harry, something deeper than the love of friendship. I didn't know what it was.
That is, until the beginning of June, 1997. It was then that I realized that the something more, something deeper was love. Real love. I realized what I loved him for, too. I loved him not for his scar and popularity, but for his caring, generosity, kindness, and that all too sweet look that he has when he's confused or feeling lost, like a little boy. I even love him for that stupid, headstrong stubbornness of his. Though he does rush into things without thinking it through first, he always got through it. Of course, usually I was there to save his bum when he couldn't.
I love him for his tender hugs, those soft kisses on the cheek and forehead when he thinks I'm asleep. I love him for the way that whenever I fall asleep in the Common Room reading a book, he'll always mark my place, carry me over to a couch, lay me down, and conjure up a pillow and blanket for me. I love him for his presence beside me on the Gryffindor balcony when I can't sleep, those random chocolate frogs, and the way I know I can count on him to be there for me and support me. I love him for the way his face lights up when he's happy, the way his eyes twinkle when he's up to no good, and the way he laughs, sweet yet rough, deep yet shallow.
I love him for his knowledge that he can count on me to be there for him, whenever, wherever. I love him for the way he has matured over the past three years, ever since Voldemort came back, but is still as mischievious as ever. I love him for the way he protects me and stands up for me whenever Malfoy insults me. And last, I love him for his good looks, the rugged face, the muscular torso... and the legs that could take him anywhere within twenty miles without getting tired. I love those deep, emerald green eyes of his, and his ever so unruly hair that sticks up in the back and is in terrible need of a trim.
But he doesn't love me. I have watched him closely to see if he feels the same way for me as I do for him. Sadly, all he feels is the love of friendship. I have tried to get something out of Ron, but he refuses to speak except to tease me about loving Harry.
I have suffered much angst and heartbreak because of this. But I refuse to take it any longer. I have suffered enough. Enough to make my decision. I am leaving. And so, I say my farewells.
Good-bye, Harry. Remember, I always did and always will love you with all my heart. You'll find the locket you gave me on my bedside table beside my wand.
Good-bye, Ron. You were a great friend, even if all we ever did was argue. I knew I could trust you.
Good-bye, Mum and Dad. You were the best parents anyone could ever have. I love you.
Good-bye, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and family. I thank you for your hospitality. I always had a good time at the Burrow.
Good-bye, Professors. You will find all of my homework in my bag. I always loved Hogwarts and always will.
Good-bye, Malfoy. Even though you insulted me the whole time I knew you, this filthy little Mudblood knows that deep down inside, you're really a good guy.
Good-bye, Hogwarts students. I hope you enjoyed the company of your Head Girl while it lasted.
Good-bye, Sirius. May you keep on being the best godfather you can to Harry. I trust that you will keep him safe now that I am no longer around.
Good-bye, Remus. You were one of the best DADA teachers I have ever had. Keep Harry, Ron and Sirius out of trouble for me, will you?
Good-bye, Hagrid. You always were a true friend. Remember not to breed any more Blast-Ended Skrewts.
Good-bye, cruel world. I had some good times in my life, but they have all disappeared now that I love but am not loved. I shall miss all of your inhabitants, even Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.
You shall find my body lying at the bottom of the lake, with many a broken bone from my fall into the water from the steep cliff on the side of the lake farthest from the castle. I pray that you give me a proper funeral and burial, with my wand and a copy of Hogwarts: A History lying in my coffin alongside me. I wish thay you bury me in my best dress robes, which are lying upon my bed. I pray that my flowers be lilies and roses and that you do not cry for me. I am only a bushy-haired, goody-goody Mudblood. And now, I close my letter with a final farewell and my name, written in a purple ink that I made myelf and cannot be found anywhere else in the world.
Farewell cruel world,
Hermione Elizabeth Granger
P.S. I wish my headstone to read as follows:
Here lies Hermione E. Granger,
Who died of a broken heart.
She loved but was not loved.
September 19, 1980 to March 19, 1998
Died at the age of seventeen and a half years old.
May her spirit rest in peace.
Harry set down the parchment, his head bowed. When he looked up, Ron saw his eyes shining with tears.
"We have to find her," he croaked. Ron rodded, and they raced out of the common room.
When they got to the Entance Hall, they found Malfoy standing in front of the bulletin board, his face paler than usual.
"Potter, you might want to read this," he told them, gesturing to it. Harry went over and began to read, before turning to Ron.
"It's the same thing she left in the common room," he said. "She must have made two copies." He turned to Malfoy. "Which way did she go?"
Malfoy looked at them, an annoying smirk on his face. "Why should I tell you where that filthy Mudblood went?" he asked mavolently. "It's none of my business, you're the one she loves."
Harry drew his wand out and pointed it at him. "Tell me where she went, or I'll hex you to pieces." His voice was dripping with venom.
"All right, all right. She went out by the lake, after she cussed at me."
Harry looked surprised. "Hermione? She cussed at you?" Malfoy nodded.
"Well, she probably had a good reason, you know he's a smarmy git," Ron said.
"But Hermione hardly ever cusses. Unlike you, Ron."
"Still...."
"Oh, shut up! I'm going after her."
"I'm coming with you."
"No you aren't. I'm going alone. She loves me, so I'm the one who should go after her."
Ron sighed. "All right. Good luck, mate. I'll go tell Dumbledore."
"There's no need, I'm already here," said a voice behind them.
"Professor! Hermione's attempting suicide!"
Dumbledore sighed. "I know. Harry, I want you to go after her and bring her to my office immediately. Do whatever you must to bring her back alive."
Harry nodded. "I'll do my best, Professor." He started off around the lake. Suddenly, he came to the cliff. There was Hermione, standing there.
~~~Hermione~~~
She closed her eyes and raised her arms, preparing to dive. And then....