Unofficial Portkey Archive

I'm Still Here by MarianLibrarian
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

I'm Still Here

MarianLibrarian

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is related to "Harry Potter." All of that brilliance belongs to JKR. The song, "I'm Still Here" was written and belongs to Johnny Rzezneck. "I Won't Say (I'm In Love)" is from the Disney movie "Hercules" so I don't own it either, Disney does. Also, Converse shoes do not belong to me either.

A/N: A couple characters may seem OOC this chapter but keep in mind that there will be a 'Dream Sequence.'

I'm Still Here

"So how does this spell work anyway?"

It was the morning after Christmas and a light snow was falling gracefully across the Hogwarts grounds, making it appear like a beautiful snow globe. Harry and Hermione were walking around the frozen lake, discussing the Talent Show.

"Well," Hermione started, "we'll have to practice it a few times, but basically what happens is this. You mutter the words 'Recordium Musico' and point your wand at my guitar. I then begin to play the song all the way through. When that's finished, you take the guitar and I take the wand. I then point the wand at you and say 'Playscodia Musica' and your hands will automatically play the song, you just have to sing it."

Harry stopped mid-step and turned to Hermione.

"That sounds really complicated," he stated, worry in his tone.

Hermione smiled at him assuringly.

"It's not, trust me."

Harry hesitated for a moment, watching Hermione in confusion. A light grin spread across her lips and she raised her eyebrows at him in question. Their gaze held for a few moments and Harry finally nodded.

"Of course I trust you," he told her, "always have, always will."

"That's what I thought," Hermione said brightly.

The two continued to circle the lake once more. A fierce wind suddenly began to blow from the East and Hermione shivered almost violently. Harry looked at her in alarm.

"Here, take this," he said, taking off his warm cloak and drapping it over the girl's shoulders.

"You'll catch your death of cold now Harry," Hermione protested, trying to take off the heavy cloak.

"We'll go back inside then," Harry answered her, turning around, "but we're stopping by the kitchens and getting you some hot chocolate. How 'bout that?"

Hermione nodded and smiled up at Harry. He grinned back and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to warm her up. Hermione nestled her head against Harry's chest as they walked back to the castle in silence. Harry, grateful that she couldn't see his face, blushed furiously. 'What's wrong with me?' He thought. 'It's just Hermione. . . but maybe not 'just' Hermione. . .' Harry's mind swarmed with questions as they continued their small journey through the snow.

-:-

Later that evening, Harry sat in front of the common room fire, playing a game of old fashioned Wizard Chess with Ron as Hermione sat across from them, reading a book silently.

"Bishop to D5," Harry commanded his miniture soldiers. His white Knight slid across the checkered board into an empty square. Unbeknownst to Harry, who's mind was traveling in and out between the real world and his thoughts, a victorious grin broadened the cheerful face of Ron Weasley.

"Queen to D5," the red head said triumphantly, "Checkmate!"

"What?!" Harry asked abrutly, his mind back on the real world, "How did that happen?"

A giggle escaped Hermione's lips and Harry looked up at her angrily.

"You saw this coming and didn't tell me?" Harry asked furiously, only making Hermione giggle louder and harder. "This is an outrage!"

"This is a game Harry," Hermione said, desperately trying to supress her laughter, "besides, Ron beat you. He always beats you. Find yourself a hill and get over it."

Ron started to laugh as well and after useless complaining, Harry laughed too at his own stupidity. The black and white chess pieces began to rearrange themselves back in order, ready to play once again. As a new game started, Ginny Weasley, Ron's bubbly younger sister, and Lavender Brown, a flirtatious yet ditzy fellow fifth year, came up to them.

"Hermione," Ginny said crossly, "where are you supposed to be right now?"

"Gin, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, confused. Ginny and Lavender gave her identical impacient stares and suddenly Hermione's lips formed the shape of a small 'o.' "Ohhhhhh," she said guiltily, "I guess I forgot, sorry."

"Forgot what?" Harry asked as one of Ron's bishops took another pawn.

"We thought you got lost or something," Lavender went on, "besides, we really need to practice."

"I'm sorry guys, I forgot and it's totally my fault," Hermione said calmly, "Ok now listen, here's the new plan: right now, we'll go up to the dormitories and pick the song. Then, tomorrow, straight after breakfast, we'll go to the Transfiguration classroom and choreograph it. And thirdly, Lav, we've been here at Hogwarts for five years, do ya really think I'd get lost?"

The blonde shifted guiltily in her hot pink Converse All-Stars.

"I paniced ok," she muttered.

Hermione smiled and placed her book down. She stood up, streched her limbs, and headed towards the girls dormitory with Ginny and Lavender beside her. Harry watched her go, allowing Ron to check his King again. Harry blew it off and chased after her.

"Hey!"

Hermione turned around, surprised to see Harry suddenly right beside her.

"Hi," she said, tilting her head sideways, biting her lip. A few strands of golden brown hair fell across her face, making her look friendly yet mysterious all in one. For the second time in less than a week, Harry couldn't read what Hermione's eyes were saying. It scared him completely if she knew exactly what he was thinking at the moment and he was left clueless. Harry suddenly felt his mind go blank, not knowing what to say. All he could think of was shouting out to the world how beautiful she was, but he figured that might not be the most impressive thing to say. She smiled at him and waited for him to speak.

"Wha-what's this talk about, bout practice and, and stuff?" he stammered.

"Nothing," Hermione shrugged. She turned to follow Ginny and Lav up the stairs but Harry caught her arm. She turned around and raised her nicely curved eyebrows at him. "We're performing in the Talent Show ok? That do? Can I go now?"

Harry let go of her arm and nodded, feeling like a mute idiot. Hermione shook her head at him and smiled.

"See ya at breakfast Harry," she said kindly, "and don't worry, I'll have plenty of time to help you with your song and still do mine, just relax."

Harry let out a huge sigh of relief as Hermione disappeared up the staircase. If that's what she thought he was worrying about, obviously their connection was broken or something. Harry slowly made his way back to the couch and slumped down, deep in thought. A few minutes later he heard a rather unappealing grunt and he looked up. Ron was watching him, eyebrows rasied, with an amused grin on his face.

"What?" Harry asked innocently.

"You fancy Hermione," Ron said slowly, grinning even wider (if that was possible).

"I do not!" Harry protested loudly.

"You must or else you wouldn't be responding in such a protective manner," Ron replied.

"Ron, you must have had a little too much eggnog at dinner," Harry said nervously, "I mean, me and Hermione? You must be crazy."

"Am I Harry? Well let me explain the obvious if you're so oblivious," Ron began. "First off, you and Herm have been spending a lot of time together. I know you two are working on some song or whatever but still, I mean a lot of time together. And your little silent conversations, I don't know what that's about but you guys have something going on there. At dinner, when you don't think anyone is watching, you steal glances at her constantly. And lately, you've always been off in some sort of dreamworld that I can't have a normal conversation with you. Like right now!" he waved a hand in front of Harry's thoughtful face and Harry's head snapped back and attentive. Ron shook his head and went on. " And just now, stu-stu- stuttering in, in fron-front of, of her, get off it Harry, you like her."

Harry stared at Ron dumbfoundly, knowing he was completely on target but afraid to admit that he was. Ron watched Harry's expressions change from shocked, to confused, to offended, to relief. Harry let out a huge sigh.

"What am I gonna do mate?" Harry asked worriedly. "I mean, I can't even be in the same room with Hermione anymore without my mind going haywire. She's changed since last year. She understands me you know? She knows how I feel and what I'm thinking and she just, well she's. . . that's that thing, I don't know! I never know how she feels or what she's really thinking. And lately I've just been thinking about her and what if she knows I've been thinking about her and what if she doesn't want me to think about her and what if she stops working on the song with me and I then make a mockery out of myself at the show and what if she even stops talking to me?"

"Whoa Harry, chill your hormones," Ron said exasperatedly. "Calm down and relax. We're talking about you and Hermione. Now I've watched her too and when she doesn't think anyone is paying attention, she also stares at you with this dreamy expression and bright brown eyes. I don't think you're alone in this Harry. Just play it cool, go with the flow. If Hermione is as smart as we think she is, she'll come around. For now, just be you."

"Be me?" Harry asked, "You certain 'bout that Ron? I mean, lately, being me has turned me into a stammering, mindless psycho."

"Have I ever left you reason to doubt before?" Ron asked proudly. Harry put up a fake smile and engaged himself in another game of chess, trying hard not to dwell on all of Ron's previous mishaps.

-:-

"Gosh Hermione, what's the deal with you and Harry?"

Hermione was laying on the end of her bed as Lavender sat on the floor with Ginny, painting her toenails.

"There is no deal Lav," Hermione answered, "he's just Harry."

"Just Harry?" Ginny raised her eyebrows knowingly.

"What?" Hermione asked innocently, knowing they just about had her cornered.

"The tilting your head, the biting your lip, the flirtatious grins," Lavender listed, "that's the deal we're talking about."

And so she hit the dead end, cornered by a determined red head and a skeptical blonde. Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I dunno," she muttered, turning on her back and staring up at the top of her canopy, "I never noticed that."

"Well you should since you do it about a trillion times a day," Ginny giggled. "So, ummm, do you like him or not?"

"He's Harry," Hermione shrugged, "I mean he's, well, he's considerate-" her mind traveled to that afternoon in the snow when he gave her his cloak, "and he's funny-" she thought about how she spewed her hot chocolate when he threw the punchline to one of his jokes at dinner, "and thoughtful-" she stared down out the charm bracelet he had given her just the other morning , "and courageous-" she thought about the past four years she had known him, especially the past June, and how he overcame such terrible evil and still kept his head above water, "and smart-" she remembered that Rita Skeeter article from the previous year which explained how, like herself, Harry was one of the top students in their grade, "and athletic-" she smiled at the memory of Harry winning the quidditch final in their third year, "and completely goregeous-" she closed her eyes and saw his bright green emeralds bearing into her dull browns, "and he's-"

"I think somebody's in love," Ginny teased. She and Lavender burst into a fit of giggles and Hermione fell out of her fantasy world.

"Love?" Hermione asked, turning to face her friends, an annoyed expression on her face. "I've been there, remember Viktor? He told me I was the only one for him and I fell for it. Then some babe walks by him and suddenly I'm on an early flight back home to London. I'm not gonna fall for that again."

"Hermione, you can tell us," Lavender said sincerely, sitting beside the brunnette on the bed. "We don't blame you, do we Gin? Harry's a total hottie. Plus, he cares about you, and he won't hurt you like that Bulgarian idiot did."

"I dunno," Hermione muttered, pulling her legs towards her and wrapping her arms around her knees. She knew Harry would never stoop as low as Viktor had, and she knew she liked him. But love? It couldn't be. She told Lavender and Ginny that she needed some sleep and closed the deep scarlet curtains around her bed. 'If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I know I've already won that.' She thought, laying her head down on the soft pillows.

"Gosh, no guy is worth the aggrivation," Hermione muttered, barrying her head into her pillow, thoughts of her summer in Bulgaria running through her mind. She remembered how she cried on the planeride home, and how she dared to call the Dursley's, wanting to talk to Harry. She remembered how he gently calmed her down and told her everything would be alright. "NO!" Hermione shouted, sitting up. "That's ancient history Hemione!" she said to herself, trying to get the thought of her and Harry out of her mind. "You've been there, you've done that!"

And for some unexplainable reason, her cutains flew open and music began to play out of thin air. In front of her, Ginny and Lav stood in matching magenta mini skirts and sleeveless tops, bending their knees to the music, snapping their fingers, and worst of all, singing.

"Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'? He's the Earth and heaven to you." They sang to Hermione.

"Who, Harry?" she asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"Try to keep it hidden, Honey we can see right through you. Girl, you can't conceal it, we know how ya feel and who you're thinkin' of. . ."

Hermione stood up angrily and walked towards them. The music suddenly took over her and she sang back.

"No chance! No way! I won't say it, no, no!"

"You swoon, you sigh, why deny it? Uh oh!" Ginny sang back, a hand on her hip and an amused expression on her grinning lips.

"It's too cliche, I wont say I'm in love!" Hermione sang matter-of-factly. She then turned on her heels and walked over to her vanity and sat on the stool. She looked at her sad image in the mirror and sighed. "I thought my heart had learned its lesson," she sang quietly, propping her chin on her hand, "It feels so good when you start out. . ." she turned and saw a picture of Harry smiling widely in front of her. She stood up angrily and shut her eyes tightly. "My head is screaming "Get a grip girl! Unless you're dying to cry your eyes out!" Oh. . ."

Lavender walked up to Hermione and put a kind hand on her shoulder.

"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling," the pretty blonde cooed.

"Baby, we're not buying," Ginny chimed in, standing beside Lavender, "Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling! Face it like a grown up-"

"When ya gonna own up that ya got-"

"Got-"

"Got it bad!"

Hermione pushed away from them and shook her head.

"No chance! No way! I won't say it, no, no!"

"Give up, give in, check the grin- you're in love. . ."

Hermione whipped the unnoticed grin off her face and crossed her arms.

"This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love. . ."

"You're doin flips," Lav protested.

"Read our lips," Ginny added. And together that sang again, "You're in love!"

"You're way off base! I won't say it!" Hermione sang in reply, sitting down on the windowsill and staring out the window. After a moment she turned and saw the two girls standing right in front of her. That was it. "Get off me case!" she sang louder and with more feeling than before, "I won't say it!"

"Girl, don't be proud, it's Okay, you're in love. . ."

"Oh. . ." Hermione sang slowly, staring out the window again. She closed her eyes and all she could see was Harry's gorgeous green eyes and his bright face smiling at her. She smiled too as she opened her eyes and sighed. "At least out loud. . ." she sang so quietly that Lavender and Ginny had no chance of hearing her, "I won't say I'm in. . ." she looked down at her bracelet and smiled, "love. . . ."

Hermione's head shot up and she looked around. She was in her bed with the scarlet curtains closed around her. She got out and looked around. Lavender was sleeping soundly in the bed to her right and Ginny wasn't there, meaning she must have gone back to her own room. Hermione walked over to their grand bay window and sat on its sill.

"Since when did my dreams suddenly turn into a song and dance number?" she muttered, shaking her head. She looked out among the snow that covered the grounds of her school. She caught a glimpse of the lake where Harry and her had been walking just hours earlier. "Harry," she sighed, closing her eyes tight. She fell asleep there in peace, dreaming about a boy. But not just any boy; she was dreaming about the boy she knew she was in love with.