AN- I know, I know, right now you all hate me. I kept starting different trials of this, but never ending up actually finishing one. This is the last chapter of Sweet Dreams, seeing as I am starting a new fanfic, "Marauder's secret". Hopefully you'll agree with it, and right now I really don't need flames, but if you must, please feel free to, it would probably do my writing some good. I have no beta, and only continue this for the love of my reviewers, and because if I don't ProngsGurl would skin me alive the next time I got to school. By the by, I have a little lost-and-found poster I need someone to help me with;
Missing- my muse. Black hair, wicked black eyes, devilish smile and a habit of giving this author good ideas and plots but no ending. Answers to the name `Devil'. If found, please send via review or e-mail. Thank you.
Thank you to:
Shortcake- short and sweet, but to the point, wow you really live up to your name don't you? Thank you for taking the time to review! It really means a lot to me, especially those that doesn't flame me.
sweetkiwi- Hey! Sorry it took so long. I've been a bit busy, but it's nice to see you reading my other stuff, including Depression! I really really really appreciate that. Hopefully you'll continue reviewing what you've been reading, and soon I plan to e-mail you about my novel, (because I'm still working on it!) hopefully you can forgive my little break.
Anonymous- sqee? Cannot translate, but thank you for trying. I still appreciate all reviews.
ProngsGurl- did you ever consider my not wanting you to review because I talk to you every day at school? And you should know, 39 days till the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Plus, YOU TOOK THE BLOODY NOTEBOOK! I demand you write at least four pages by Monday! I mean it!
Wanting an update- thank you for your review, it encouraged me to finish instead of dropping it. And yes, I know I hate cliffhangers too! Sorry for leaving you so long on that ledge.
Disclaimer- notices this site is portkey.org as in, `a non-profit organization'. `Nuff said, really…
They had tried explaining themselves over and over again to me so afraid I would tell them off they wouldn't let me speak. It was almost, to some degree, amusing, watching them defend themselves, when they really didn't need to. I found their loyalty to their bitten friend a Gryffindor trait, but I was enjoying this so much that I didn't bother stopping them to tell them this. They told me about how they had worked so hard to become animagus's, how if I told I'd be putting the only studious trips Black had ever made to the library to waste, even how Lupin hurt himself if he didn't have them to occupy him. (Which, I admit, made me think him no longer spineless.)
"And think of what you could wind up doing! In the long-run, all of us would be kicked out of school!"
"That would hang onto your conscience for the rest of your life!" Black was saying. Pettigrew refused to try and plead with me, insisting he was too tired, (I swear, I distinctly heard him say `mudblood!') but James, Black and Lupin were still awake and fighting. Bloody gits.
But stubborn, kind-hearted, handsome gits. "I'm not going to turn you in." I assured them, unknowingly interrupting Black in another argument he was making in his werewolf friend's defense. His mouth was half open in protest, and he said
"Now I know what you're thinking, but Dumbledore knows about Remus, and he wouldn't hurt anyone cause he's supposed to be locked up and… wait, what was that you said?" I told you he was a git.
"I said I'm not going to turn you in."
"Oh." I'd never seen Black blush, but it was pretty amusing, knowing I was the one that had caused it. Potter sat silent, eyeing me as though not sure whether or not to trust me. I honestly couldn't blame him. I suppose, after all these years, I had been a bit difficult on him.
Black and James sat in silence, coldly calculating my every word, and weighing the trust in them. Remus Lupin, who had so far refrained from defending himself, still sat silently on the floor by the fire. "Lupin?" He didn't respond, and I felt a need to get him to talk, to understand that I would keep his secret. "Hey, er…Remus?" he looked up, seeming afraid of what I was going to say to him. When he finally met my eyes, I saw unshed tears and guilt hung heavy in them. They looked grey* and dull, lifeless almost, and were shadowed from the lack of seep the night before. His skin was pale and his hands, clasping each other, were shaking. He looked like hell.
"You shouldn't have been out there last night."
"I know." there was no way he was going to say something about being out there sneaking about once when I'd just found out that they were animagi. There was absolutely no way! But I felt a need to defend myself. "I know, but Potter had some ridiculous reason and told me three in the morning to meet him outside the following night about how to…" I drifted off, partly because I really didn't want Black and Remus to know about the dreams and partly because I had a feeling that wasn't what Lupin was referring to.
"You could've gotten seriously hurt. If you had, I probably wouldn't have forgiven myself." He put his head in his hands. " I know I ought to be able to control myself, but…" He drifted off. His eyes shone with tears, and then met mine again as though looking for reassurance. " I suppose that's why I need Padfoot and Prongs. I don't know anything that happens when I transform, I even forget who they are. I just know that they're other animals with no fowl intentions. But you…I could've bitten you, I could've…"
"Moony, you're tired and blaming yourself for things you really can't control. It wasn't your fault and still isn't. If it's anyone, it's Prongs for luring Evans-
"Lily." James said firmly. Black rolled his eyes, but complied, and I felt an inner glow, (I really hope James didn't notice, but I think from the look he had that he did.)
"Fine then. Lily. It's Prong's fault for luring Lily here outside in the dead of the night in a full moon. By the way, Prongs, what's that about? You never told me what was in those dreams you had of Evans." James blushed, and I could only assume Sirius thought they were nightmares as much as Marie did. He looked to me, winked so subtly I thought I'd imagined it, then said
"Well… lets just say they were dreams caused by years of hate." And they were, because that's what had caused them. But the way he made it sound, they were nightmares. Black seemed to take it this way too and nodded in understanding.
"I'm off to bed. I've had enough all-nighters, and I swear I'll never sleep again." This was addressed to James. Then he looked at me and said, "Evans, don't go out under a full moon again, I'd hate to have to keep you company all night as a wolf, you're bad enough as a human." He smirked, but I could tell from the way he looked at me that something had changed. I had just earned his respect.
I turned to Potter, expecting him to head up too after all those nights of no sleep. He just looked back at me solemnly, his hazel eyes serious and smiling as much as could be expected. The laughter in them outdid the dark purple shadows surrounding them. " So Lily, have anything to say to me?"
He meant the apology. But as stupid as it seemed, with all I had been through to get rid of the dreams, I wasn't sure I wanted to now. What if that meant they would never happen, not only with Potter but also with anyone else. I'd been so happy in them, even the first. Was I actually missing out on something by turning Potter down? "So all I have to do is apologize and stop hating you?"
Potter smirked in reply. "Don't make it sound so easy. I really wouldn't worry Lily, I'm sure you'll hate me for the rest of our lives, but if you just say sorry and forget it out now, you'll get rid of the nightmares." Somehow I had the feeling he knew what I was thinking. I didn't want the `nightmares' to go anymore.
"And that's all you wanted to tell me last night?"
"That and ask you out again."
"Ever plan on giving it up?" Yeah, I was starting to reconsider his offer. But hey, I'm a normal seventeen-year-old witch, (though I guess that's not saying very much for me and my normalcy) and I can't think of very many of them who would have rejected as long as I have to James Harrison Potter. (Don't ask how I know his middle name. I heard it once and never really forgot it. I'd always liked the name.) Anyway, he continued,
"You can hate me as much as you want. Those dreams only enforced it. I'm not giving up on you yet, and if I have to you'll hear from me after school." I smiled, still facing the fire.
"How did you get to the girl's dorm in the first place, those stairs are rigged, and you of all people should know it. I could bet you've set it off once or twice." While I was really curious, I was also hoping that the change of topic would make him forget about the apology.
"I beat the stairs." He said simply, smiling. It was a true smile, not a smirk, and it made me want to keep going.
"What?"
"Yeah. It took loads of hours, but you remember all those times Sirius and I got caught doing pranks and banned from Hogsmade?" I nodded, very aware I was responsible for more than half of those times. James grin only widened as he continued. "Well, we spent hours alone in the common room, timing it just right so we could get up those blasted stairs. If you get a running start and jump the first three, you're set. They take one and a half seconds to become a ramp, and during that time you've got to grab the ramp ledge and pull yourself up. Or you could sort of wedge yourself up using the walls, as long as you get that running start, because the stairs can sense that you're a boy and become a ramp anyways." Leave it to a couple of Marauders to figure something like this out. They were gits, but they were bloody brilliant ones. That took some pretty accurate calculations. And I couldn't help it. I laughed.
"Lily, I'm really sorry about last night, I figured you would want to know before the dreams got any worse, but I didn't take into consideration that Moony would be out, or I really wouldn't have done it." And before, I would've doubted him. But the hazel eyes shone with sincerity, and I believed him. He really wouldn't have put me in danger.
He sat tense and unsure, awaiting my answer, and it occurred that he must think I would snap at him. It's what I would've done not too long ago. "Relax, James. I know." He blinked in surprise, and I suddenly felt my face flush as I realized my mistake.
"You called me James."
"You called me Lily." I challenged. It was a weak one, but I met his eyes anyways. I was very suddenly aware that this scene looked quite a bit like the one from my original dream, the first one. I was made even more aware when James leaned in.
"All you have to sat is sorry and the dream will go away."
"What if I don't want them to?" It felt like I couldn't breathe, like I needed to whisper to keep the moment.
"Then don't." He replied simply. "You always challenge me."
"I know."
"I hate you Evans." He said, but the words were a tease from our past that now held a different meaning. Was I dreaming again?
" I hate you too." His lips touched mine, and everything felt all right again.
But this time I didn't wake up.
* the way to spell grey in England, and Lily's English. No grammatical error.
AN- well, what do you think? I know I can no longer you extortion or blackmail, but I really appreciate parting reviews, and hopefully will see you or your reviews in the future regarding my other stories. Thank you for taking the time and effort to read and/or review. I don't have anything else to say to waste space really, except to also thank you for any patience you have with me regarding this particular fic. Maybe when I'm older I'll write a longer, more detailed one, but right now I don't have a large enough vocabulary or enough time.
And so ends the beginning.