Unofficial Portkey Archive

Second Year

"Jamey!" James's Aunt Kathy exclaimed, catching him up in a big hug. "I didn't expect to see you until next week."

"Yes, well, mum had some errands to run, so she thought we may as well get my school supplies today, Aunt Kathy," James explained, glancing around his aunt's workplace for the candy jar that they invariably had there whenever he came to visit.

Kathy noticed his wandering gaze and smiled. "You know, Jamey," she teased gently, "if I didn't know better, I'd think you only come to visit me for the candy!"

"I don't visit you only for the candy," James answered indignantly, grinning. "I came to get robes for school, too."

Kathy rolled her eyes, and reached behind the counter, pulling out a fire-ball and a bottle of butterbeer. "Hurry up and finish that, while I find out from your mum what you need this year."

Kathy went over to talk to James's mum, and he quickly ate the fire-ball, grinning at the flames that shot out as he crunched it, and then gulped down his butterbeer.

"Ready, Jamey?" his aunt asked, motioning for him to follow her into the measuring room in back. He nodded, and scrambled after her, stopping short as he noticed the young witch standing on one of the platforms, holding her arms out while Madam Malkin, Kathy's boss, measured her. He grinned. Seeing Lily today was more than he could have wished for.

"Hiya, Evans!" James said, jumping up onto the platform beside her. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Didn't expect to see you here? Is that all you can come up with?

Fine.

"Oh, Jamey! Is this a friend of yours?" his aunt asked, interrupting the argument ongoing in his head.

Jamey???

Jamey???

Of all of the witches in England in front of whom his aunt could have called him Jamey, why-WHY-did she have to pick Lily Evans?

Lily giggled. "Jamey?" she asked, raising her eyebrow slightly.

Play it cool.

I know!

"Yes, Jamey," he said, glancing at Lily and smirking, as though he didn't mind in the least.

Very cool.

Thanks!

"And I suppose you could say that, Aunt Kathy, though I'm not sure how much she likes me." He smiled sweetly. "She did kiss me, though."

Now WHY would you say that? It's only going to set her off.

Of course!

Kathy laughed. "Now why doesn't that surprise me? I don't suppose she'll be the last to kiss you, either. You've got the legendary Potter charm and more than your fair share too, I'd reckon!"

Aunt Kathy!!!!

James wanted to sink through the floor. What would make his aunt say something like that? Even if you didn't consider the fact that his aunt had just given up the secret of the Potter charm-a crime in and of itself. The Potter charm was a secret supposed to be kept within the family-Lily was now certain to think that he wanted to kiss other girls

"It was only on the cheek!" Lily protested. "And it wasn't that at all, ma'am," she added, looking at Kathy. "We had a bet."

Your mum's going to kill you when she finds out you bet a girl to kiss you.

What? Oh, oh right…

"Which you lost," he said as a blond little girl skipped into the room. "And so, you kissed me,"

No, not that!

Shut up.

"First I find out you're sneaking out at midnight and need a giant-" the little girl said.

"Half-giant," Lily corrected. "And what are you doing back already? I thought you'd be gone awhile."

"Half-giant, then-to rescue you. And now you're kissing boys? And you didn't tell me?" the little girl asked.

James couldn't help but laugh about the furious flush that had crept across Lily's cheeks at the young girl's words. There was something about the entire situation that he found extremely funny, and he started laughing so hard that Kathy actually had to stop measuring him for a moment. The little girl-who James had concluded had to be Lily's sister-was looking at him as though he were insane, which only made him laugh harder.

"She kissed you?" the girl asked, wrinkling her nose, and James finally straightened up, the giggling fit subsiding. There was something about this child that he liked immediately, and he nodded, barely suppressing a grin as she swung her gaze back to Lily.

"On the cheek!" Lily exclaimed, "And only because we made a ridiculous bet that I could never have expected to lose!"

When are you going to admit that you want to kiss me?

Whatever you do, do not say tha-

"Oh, just admit it, Evans! You know you wanted to kiss me!" James was now thoroughly enjoying Lily's discomfort, though he knew there'd be hell to pay later. He winked at Kathy and Lily's sister.

Now WHY would you say that? Didn't I just tell you NOT to say it?

Charming? Have you gone mad? We're dead. Just look at her!

James detected a flash of lightning in Lily's eyes that he had come to know was a warning sign for danger.

Yes…we are.

Madam Malkin came to his rescue at that moment, however. "That's you done, my dear," she said, and Lily stepped off of the platform, muttering something, and began walking to the front of the store.

Don't just stand there! Apologize! You don't want this to be her memory of you.

Right.

"You'll admit it one day, Evans!" James called after her.

"Over my dead body!" Lily retorted as James watched her storm out of the room.

You call that an apology?

Oh sod off!

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong, it never comes out right

James rounded a corner, quickly making his way toward the library. He and the other Marauders had been in the common room, discussing their plans to "help" Remus, who they had discovered was a werewolf, during his transformations. During their brainstorming session, Remus had mentioned that he was pretty sure that he was only dangerous to humans. If that was true, then their idea to become animagi and join him during his transformations would work brilliantly, and he just wanted to check a book on werewolves to verify that Remus's understanding of his condition was correct. As he drew nearer to the library, his heart leapt. It was Lily's voice. He increased his speed, anxious for any chance to speak with her, even if she was irritated with him at the moment. He knew that she couldn't stay angry with him for very long, and now was the perfect chance to turn on the Potter charm and calm her down.

He reached the end of the corridor, and took a deep breath before turning the corner. The scene that confronted him made him feel as though he had just been punched, and his thoughts automatically switched to the prophecy that Lily had made on Halloween. She'd claimed to have seen her marriage to Snape, but James had comforted himself with the thought that the prophecy had to have been wrong-that Lily had somehow known that it made him sick to his stomach to even think about, and that she was just teasing him. The scene that he was witnessing, however, shattered that thought. Snape and Lily were standing in front of him, Snape giving Lily a genuine look of tenderness, which Lily was returning without hesitation.

Snape's gaze lifted to rest on James, and his smile turned to a sneer. Lily's eyes met James's a moment later, and James flinched at the look of contempt in their depths. It was identical to Snape's and James found that he was unable to comprehend why the girl that he was in love with was currently giving him the same look that he was receiving from his enemy. "Potter," she and Snape said in unison. "What are you doing here?"

James felt blood began to pound through his ears as rage, pure and unadulterated, coursed through his veins. "GET AWAY FROM HER SNAPE!" James shouted.

"I won't," Snape answered, returning his gaze to Lily. Snape's mouth curled into a nasty smile. "Since Lily and I are 'fated' to be together, we need to get to know one another. I can't do that if I don't go near her, Potter."

James struggled desperately to bring his emotions under control before he spoke again. The rational part of his brain was telling him that he had to convince Snape that the notion of Lily being a seer was ridiculous. If Snape believed that Lily's vision had been real, she would be put in very real danger. Keeping Lily safe had to be his number one priority right now. There would be time to deal with his emotions later. He took a deep breath, and tried to give a careless laugh. "Oh, come on, Snape! You know as well as I do that Lily isn't a seer!"

"Do I?" Snape asked, and James had to resist the urge to beat the self-satisfied smirk off of his face. "Then why have you been cornering me all the time, demanding that I leave Lily alone or answer to you and your friends? If you aren't concerned that there is some truth to her vision, then why have you been threatening to hex me into next year if I so much as even look at her?"

James's anger was now directed at himself. He hadn't stopped to consider that his behavior would confirm Snape's suspicion about Lily's gift. And he also knew that no matter his motives for threatening Snape, Lily was going to take his actions the wrong way. She wouldn't understand that he was trying to keep Snape from hurting her, as he knew-KNEW-Snape ultimately would. She would only think that he was trying to interfere with her life, when all he had wanted to do-all that he ever wanted to do-was to protect her.

James suddenly realized that Lily was giving him an odd look, and he wondered if she could tell what he was thinking. He'd wanted for so long to tell her how much he cared about her, but he had always been unable to find the right words. He returned her gaze, trying to communicate his feelings to her, but she looked away.

A slight grin lit up her features, and James felt his heart leap for a moment, but the grin disappeared so quickly that he thought there was a very good chance he had imagined it. When she finally did bring her gaze back to him again, he thought he finally understood why his grandpa used to talk about looks that could kill. Lily's gaze was murderous, and he felt it slice through him all the way to the depths of his heart. "Just what gives you the right to tell Severus to stay away from me, Potter?"

Here it is. Your big chance. Tell her!

Right…how I feel.

"What do you mean, what gives me the right, Evans? Haven't I told you time and again what kind of wizard Snape is? I've made sure he won't harass you. You should be thanking me!"

Not exactly the words I would have chosen. For instance, I'd have used her first name.

Shut up!

"Thanking you?" Lily was now asking furiously. "Thanking you for deciding who I can and can't be friends with? What's next Potter? Are you going to start telling me how I should dress and the best way to wear my hair?"

I really like it when you leave it loose.

Right, I knew that.

"Just WHO do you think you are?" she finished.

Snape glanced lazily at James. "Yes, Potter," he agreed, "It's not as though you're Lily's boyfriend-"

James felt his blood begin to boil again at Snape's words. A wizard who would never see Lily as more than a worthless muggle-born did not deserve to use the beautiful name that her muggle parents had so lovingly chosen to give her. He couldn't consciously explain why it bothered him so much, for it was more an instinctual reaction than a conscious thought, but he knew that he could not let the implied intimacy in Snape's words go unchallenged.

"Don't you call her Lily," he spat, his hand inching involuntarily toward his wand. "You don't deserve that familiarity-,"

"He deserves whatever familiarity that I choose to grant him, Potter," Lily countered defiantly. "It's my choice, and my choice alone, and I don't need your-or anyone else's-approval. Now, if you don't mind, Severus, I have to get to my meeting."

James had the sudden wild thought that maybe Snape had used a confundus charm on Lily. It seemed the only logical explanation for Lily's behavior. She was far too smart to be fooled by Snape's act. The comfort he felt at the thought, however, evaporated a split second later.

"I'll see you at the library tomorrow afternoon for our date," Snape said, leaning over and giving Lily a kiss before he turned and walked away.

James didn't know what to do. His hand was itching to hex Snape, to punish him for daring to kiss Lily, but even as the thought occurred to him, he dismissed it. Lily would kill him if he did. It would only make things worse.

"Is there anything I-," Lily said, her fingers still resting where Snape had kissed her. "Anything I can do for you?"

James stared at her for a moment, unable to think of anything to say. The girl that he was quite sure had been created solely for him had just confirmed her intention to go out with the one boy at Hogwarts who would never appreciate her for what she was. It didn't even matter that Snape was his sworn enemy; it only mattered that the Slytherin would never look beyond who Lily's parents were, and see all of the laughter, all of the love, all of the creativity-all of the heart-that was the very essence of Lily Evans. Lily would never be anything more to Snape than just a mudblood-James choked on the words-and yet she was still falling for him. James's heart shattered at the thought.

Tell her that.

Then why is she with him?

"No," he said finally, turning to walk away.

"Potter?" she called after him, and he felt his heart soar at the thought that she might tell him it was all just a joke, that she didn't like Severus, that she really wanted to go out with him, instead.

"Yes?" he asked, barely daring to hope. If she even just said "I'm sorry", he thought he would finally be able to tell her that he liked her. But she didn't.

"Should anything happen to Severus as a result of our confrontation today, it would not please me. I'm no longer going to be your punching bag, Potter, and I won't allow Severus to be either, are we clear?"

All emotion seeped out of James's body at her words, and although he wanted to feel angry, wanted to feel upset, wanted to feel…anything, really, other than this horrible aching emptiness that suddenly filled his being, he couldn't. He no longer had a heart left with which to feel. She'd destroyed it. "Crystal," he responded.

"Good," she said, turning and walking away from him.

His instinct was urging him to call out, to make her stop, but he found he couldn't get the words out. She had nearly reached the end of the corridor when at last he was able to speak. "Lily!" he called out listlessly, but if she heard him, she ignored him, and disappeared around the corner without acknowledging he'd said anything at all. "Why don't you forget about Snape, and go out with me?" he whispered, although he knew it was already too late.

So l say why don't you and I get together
We'll take on the world, be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again