Title: One
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione have not seen each other in a long time- what happens when they meet again?
Disclaimer: Characters are JK's- except for Hermione's former lover Lucas- he's my own creation. Song is 'One' by U2- it rocks.
~*~
One Seven years, six days, eight hours, nine minutes and ten seconds
Is it sad that I can recite how long it's been since I've seen Harry? Yes, it is. It is quite possibly the most depressing thing about my life right now, and, to be perfectly honest, my life is damn depressing.
Seven years, six days, eight hours, nine minutes and twenty seconds
I'm in a bar right now- which surprises me as well. I just needed to go somewhere where I wouldn't get found- most people prefer bars where everyone knows your name- I prefer to remain unnoticed and unknown. That's why I choose muggle bars- they don't know who I am.
Seven years, six days, eight hours, nine minutes and thirty seconds
Truth is, all I wanted to do was get away from, well, everything. He dumped me this morning- after four years he walks in to the flat we shared and said 'I don't think this is working' and walked out, bags packed. He'd been planning.
Seven years, six days, eight hours, nine minutes and forty seconds
I'm not surprised but- he's not why I want to get away. It's everything else. I didn't really care about him anyway. Oh, alright, I did care. Of course I did. Just not enough. Not enough to make him want to stay.
Seven years, six days, eight hours, nine minutes and fifty seconds
I should have seen it coming. He asked me the other night was I still in love with Harry and I didn't answer. And then he ups and goes. It's not half obvious why.
Seven years, six days, eight hours and ten minutes
The bartender is playing with the jukebox- saying it's too quiet in here. Just as long as he doesn't put on- damn, he put that song on.
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you
Now you got someone to blame
We danced to this song. It was that last night. Seven years ago. At my parent's Christmas party. And that was where we fought terribly. On the front lawn of my child hood home we screamed horrible things to each other- he blamed me for what had happened in our seventh year, the night Ron was taken and killed. He blamed me.
You say, one love, one life
When its one need in the night
I blamed myself as well. I had left Ron alone. None of us were meant to be alone. But that was why I had left him alone. Harry had left and wandered of on his own and I had to find him. I needed to know he was safe- that's why I went looking. By the time I found him and we returned to the common room, Ron had been taken and Ginny was frantic. Everyone was. And it was six months later than Harry finally admitted that he blamed me.
One love, we get to share it
Leaves you baby if you don't care for it
I had never hated and loved someone so much as when he screamed out that he blamed me. His words still echo through my head- my heart aches when I think of them. He walked away from me that night, as if he didn't care. He didn't. He doesn't. I am alone in my suffering for him. For us.
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
Lucas understood. He seemed to anyway. I had explained everything one night and he just listened, never said a word. Oh my god- please tell me I'm dreaming… I think… no, I know… Harry just walked in… breathe Hermione… breathe… in out… in out… maybe he won't see you…
Oh shit, he's coming over…
Seven years, six days, eight hours and twelve minutes
Why does he think he can just walk over after seven years and look like nothings happened? And what is he doing here? Why is he offering me his hand?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Take his hand, Hermione. Just take his hand. It may have been seven years, but there was seven before that. Dance with him.
Well it's too late tonight
To drag the past out into the light
No- don't dance with him. Don't say anything. Ignore him.
We're one but were not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other
One
Ignore the way he's looking at you- it won't work now. Seven years is a long time. If he wants forgiveness for seven years he'll have to do better than that.
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Take my hand, Hermione. Come outside with me. I want to see you in proper light- I want to talk with you, I want to apologise. Please, take my hand. Trust me like you once did.
Did I ask too much, more than a lot
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
That's it- outside, past the dance floor. The music still sounds outside- let me speak please. I've only got two words to say.
We're one but were not the same
Well we hurt each other, and we'll do it again
Please- don't look at me that way. I know I hurt you. I can't think of any words to say that would take away that pain. But don't you know what you've done to me? I'm an empty shell without you Hermione- and I don't care how many times we have to hurt each other if it's right- because love is mostly hurt. You can't love someone unless there is hurt.
You say love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
I'm sorry, Hermione. I saw you when I walked in- I was shocked- but I had to do this. Seven years is far too long. I had to apologise- I was wrong. You aren't the reason Ron died. And neither am I. It was unforeseeable- an accident, not meant to happen. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time- it could have been you.
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
Wait- no- don't push me away… please, Hermione, I don't want to beg you with words… I love you… I've spent seven years agonising over you… I was an idiot… please, look into my eyes- you could always read what I was feeling… look into them, tell me what you see… I love you…
When all you got is hurt
One love, one blood
One life you got to do what you should
One life with each other
Sisters, brothers
We only live once, Hermione. Only once. And I don't want to spend that one lifetime without you. I need you by my side- you're everything to me. And I've been an idiot- forget idiot, I've been a prat. You know it, I know it. I've said what I know you've been waiting seven years to hear- I can't do any more than that.
One life but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other
Take my hand, Hermione. Take hold of my hand and come with me- come away with me to a better place. We can rebuild what we had- we can build it together. I am nothing without you. And I don't care if there is someone else- you are the one for me, Hermione.
I love you.
One life
One
I love you too, Harry.