While you were in a coma
<Chapter Seven>
<What Happened?>
Harry woke up, yet he refused to open his eyes. He had just experienced the worst nightmare to ever enter his subconscious mind. In it Wormtail had returned to execute Voldemort's orders, Hermione had actually risked her life, and Ron had sacrificed himself to save Hermione and him.
Harry stirred aware that it was time to wake up. His bed felt rather stiff, and now that he noticed, he couldn't hear Neville's snore. Harry opened his eyes to investigate; the first thing he saw, with his blurry gaze, was a mop of brown hair. Harry rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, sure that his sight had deceived him, but as his eyes slid open again, they focused and indeed there was a mop of brown hair in his bed, and the owner of such hair was Hermione. Harry's heart started going a hundred miles per hour. She was asleep, breathing steadily curled up in a ball, but her sleep was obviously not peaceful, as her soft features where contorted in a grimace. As Harry's eyes traveled through Hermione's feminine face, he realized something else, his right hand, which was extended towards Hermione's direction, was holding her hand. Well, actually her hand was just lightly placed over Harry's hand, but just the idea that they had spent an amount of time with their hands in that position made Harry's heart beat even more rapidly. Then his mind stopped focusing on 'those kind' of feelings, when the most obvious questions sprang into his mind. Why were Hermione and he in the same bed? And where were they? This wasn't his bed at all. Harry lifted his head from his pillow, to look around his surroundings, that's when he realized he was in one of the beds of the hospital wing. Questions where about to pop out of his mind, when he felt Hermione's hand begin to lightly twitch within his. He turned to her just as she was opening her eyes. She blinked several times, probably not believing what she was seeing.
"Harry?" she spoke, her voice deep with lingering sleep. "What..." she began, looking around her surroundings. She was about to pronounce a new question, when her gaze fell about their still joined hands. She moved her fingers slowly, as if to make sure it was really her hand in his. Harry felt the soft movement of her fingers, over the sensitive skin of his palm. All he wanted to do was to close his hand tight around hers.
"I see you two ended up in the same bed," the voice of Madam Pomfrey broke the silence of the room. "Even though I distinctly remember putting you in separate beds yesterday." Harry and Hermione blushed bright red at the same time, neither one noticing the reaction of the other.
"Good Morning," came a voice from behind Hermione that broke the awkward moment. "Are you two okay?"
"Professor Lupin?" asked Harry sitting up.
Hermione did the same, slowly slipping her hand away from Harry's. "Professor Lupin! What are you doing here?" Hermione continued the interrogation.
"It is good to see you too," Remus answered trying to smile, but the strained tinge to his voice made Harry realize something was wrong. "How are you two feeling?"
"Why are we here?" asked Harry, finally voicing his doubts.
Lupin cleared his throat, he seemed years older as he sat by Harry's legs. "You two received very strong hits to you heads, fortunately Madam Pomfrey fixed you right up."
Harry's hand unconsciously traveled to the back of his head, he saw Hermione do the same thing. To his mind came a torrent of visions and memories that he had been repressing.
"RON?!?!" Harry expressed almost simultaneously with Hermione. "Where is Ron? We saw him...the spell...Wormtail...is he..." Harry knew he was not making any sense, but the anxiety was destroying him. Hermione kept watching between Lupin and Harry, her eyes watery and restless for an answer.
"Settle down, both of you," Professor Lupin tried to call them, his voice breaking.
This wasn't a good sign. "Is he...alright?" Hermione spoke with much strength as she could muster.
Professor Remus Lupin slowly stood up, arranged his tattered robes and turned to them. "Follow me," he extended his arm. They moved towards him, as he placed himself between the two fifth year students, posing his hands lightly on their backs, leading them to another bed at the end of the wing. Harry's feet felt like lead as they made their way through the empty rows of hospital beds. He could hear Hermione's heavy breathing. They came at last to the final bed and Harry's blood froze when he saw Ron spread among the bed, his face pail white.
"Ron..." Harry heard Hermione breath, before she ran to one side of the bed.
"Oh my God, Ron," Harry said sadly, walking to the other side. Ron's hand was stone cold as Harry touched it lightly. His eyes shut tightly as angry tears spilled from his eyes. "Why?"
"He is...he is breathing..." Hermione choked as her hand, which was placed upon Ron's chest, rose and fell with a slow rhythm.
"He is alive?!?!" Harry spoke with hope as he opened his eyes and looked to the professor and the nurse, who had remained deadly quiet. "Is he going to be alright? What happened to him?"
"We were hoping that you two could answer that particular question," the old raspy voice of Dumbledore erupted from the door. "Is good to see that you two are well," Dumbledore expressed. "Now please, sit down and tell me exactly what happened," Dumbledore had conjured up some seats, but only he and Lupin sat down; Harry and Hermione were glued to Ron's side. "Who attacked you?" He began.
"Wormtail. He's been trailing me since Diagon Alley," Harry answered, his sight never leaving Ron.
"What happened when you were at Hogsmeade?" Professor Lupin continued.
"I felt the same cold atmosphere that I had experienced in Diagon Alley, that's when I saw Wormtail and decided to follow him," Harry answered.
"Follow him?" Dumbledore repeated.
"Yes. And because of the prediction, I was afraid for Her-"
"Sorry for interrupting Harry, but what prediction are you talking about?" Lupin asked.
Harry had a hard time describing the prediction Professor Trelawney had told them about a month ago, the words painfully falling into reality. "That is why I asked Ron to take Hermione and go for help...so the three of us wouldn't be in danger," Harry continued explaining his reasoning.
Before Harry could continue, the door to the hospital wing burst open. "Harry?!" Sirius Black disheveled voice was heard. As soon as his eyes landed on Harry he headed towards him with a rapid pace. "Thank God you are alright...I was so worried when Dumbledore sent me an owl," Sirius was holding so tightly to Harry's shoulders that it was beginning to hurt. What was Sirius doing here anyway? Any student or teacher could easily spot him. If he had entered any moment earlier Madam Pomfrey could have seen him. "I am so sorry Dumbledore, but I couldn't wait in your office any longer," Sirius apologized, answering Harry's doubts about how he had come to Hogwarts.
"Quite understandable Sirius," Dumbledore answered with a comforting tone. "However, I hope you took the precautions necessary when coming here?"
"Sure," Sirius assured rather rapidly, which made Harry believe he wasn't sincere. Dumbledore must have thought along the same lines, since he gave Sirius a doubtful look from above his half-moon glasses. "Anyway, Harry what happened? Who attacked you?" Sirius continued, ignoring Dumbledore's gaze.
"Sirius, Harry was just in the middle of telling us his story. Sit down so that he can continue," Remus calmed his friend, and retold the part he knew about Harry's story.
After a few minutes Harry had the floor again. "When I was about to give up, was exactly when he found me. His attitude was very strange, like he regretted that I had fallen right in to his trap..."
Harry dropped his gaze towards Ron again, but not wanting to stray to where Hermione was holding Ron's hand. While Hermione had finally lifted her eyes to look at Harry, the bitter tone he used when saying the last words worrying her.
"Did he say anything to you?" Sirius asked this time, pulling both Harry and Hermione's gazes to him.
"That is what got me terribly confused, at first when he said that he was there to 'take care of me' I thought he was going to kill me, but afterwards he assured me he wasn't going to," Harry detailed.
"Why did he attack Ron?" Sirius asked again.
"He didn't..." Harry pronounced with such sorrow and anger that all eyes were focused at what he was saying. "Ron pushed Hermione and me out of the way...that spell was intended for me..." he finished speaking so softly that Sirius, Remus and Dumbledore had a hard time understanding him.
Numerous questions about Voldemort followed, but Harry had no knowledge of him to answer them. "Did Wormtail say anything else to you?" Remus inquired.
Harry didn't have to think too hard to voice out this concern. "Before he said the spell, he proclaimed that with that he was going to pay his debt."
The room went immediately silent as both Sirius and Remus turned towards Dumbledore. "So Pettigrew did indeed pay his debt to you Harry," Dumbledore finally spoke.
Harry was totally confused, but something was more important. "What is wrong with Ron?"
"We are not completely sure, but according to some of Madam Pomfrey's analysis, he appears to be in some sort of coma," Dumbledore answered carefully.
Harry and Hermione were stunned, neither of them moved nor said anything for several minutes. Harry's head ached with this information and it wasn't until he heard Hermione sniffling that he was brought back to reality. He saw with great sadness how some stray tears were staining her face. His right hand twitched as all he wanted to do was to extend his arm and clean her tears.
"So Wormtail's idea of paying his wizard's debt was to put Harry in a coma?" Hermione suddenly spoke outraged, forcefully wiping the tears way.
"Not exactly Miss Granger. I believe that the coma state, in which Mr. Weasley had fallen to, is a variation of what Voldemort ordered Pettigrew to do. After all I don't believe he would be likely to totally ignore his master's orders. However, what exactly is the difference between the original orders and Pettigrew's debt spell, I am not sure of-"
The rest of Dumbledore's explanation was interrupted, when a distraught Mrs. Weasley forcefully opened the door of the hospital wing. "My boy!!!" she screamed as she came running towards Ron's bed. Hermione immediately stood aside and let Molly Weasley pass. "My poor little boy. What happened to you!" Mrs. Weasley was wailing as he stroked Ron's flaming-red hair. Mr. Weasley was currently talking to Professor Dumbledore, the somber look at his face told Harry that Dumbledore was explaining the situation.
Mrs. Weasley's long suffering cries pierced right through Harry's being, all of the sadness coming back to him.
"Perhaps Miss Granger and you should go to the kitchens and get something to eat," Dumbledore said to Harry, but his stomach felt like it was tossing and turning.
Hermione was the one to voice out Harry's feelings. "I am not hungry."ΒΌ/p>
Dumbledore gave Hermione and understanding gaze. "Well then, why don't both of you return to Gryffindor Tower so that we can leave the Weasleys alone."
Harry turned to the heartbreaking sight of Mr. Weasley trying to comfort Mrs. Weasley, who couldn't stop crying. He nodded his head in agreement and began to walk with Dumbledore towards the door.
"Hermione, could I talk to you for a minute?" Lupin asked, stopping her from following Harry.
Hermione walked slowly towards Lupin, wondering what he could want with her. "Yes, Professor Lupin?"
"Please Hermione, if we aren't in class you can call me Remus," he pleaded.
Hermione couldn't help to blush at his request; she wasn't accustomed to treat the Professors she respected so casually. "What can I help you with Remus?" she spoke with insecurity.
"I wanted to return this to you," he said as he took an object out of his robes.
"My wand! I lost it while I was running towards Harry; that is why I couldn't perform a spell to help him. Where did you find it?" she asked as she finally recuperated her wand.
"About twenty feet from where I found you," Lupin answered. "Hermione, I wondered if you can settle a doubt of mine," Lupin continued, as Sirius came and stood next to him.
"Yes?" Hermione spoke getting more nervous.
"Why didn't you and Ron make it to go and get help?" Lupin inquired.
Hermione's eyes shifted from Lupin to Sirius quickly. "I knew from the moment Harry made his promise of not confronting Wormtail that he wouldn't be able to keep it...you know how he is..." Hermione turned to look at Harry, who was at the door talking to Dumbledore, without realizing it, "...always getting himself in danger...always wanting to sacrifice himself in order to save a...a friend...I couldn't leave him alone..." Hermione continued her sight still lingering on Harry's form for another minute. "I just couldn't..." she finalized, dropping her gaze to her feet.
"And Ron?" Sirius asked.
"He must have followed me, after I ran to find Harry..." Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed them softly. All of the retailing had exhausted her emotionally, she felt very tired even though it was just minutes after she had woken up. Her eyes opened as she felt the weight of a hand over her shoulders.
It was Sirius. "Hermione, what you did at Hogsmeade for Harry...it was completely understandable." he wisely said, with a smile in his weary eyes.
"More than you know," Remus put in, sharing a knowing glance with Sirius.
Dumbledore stopped Harry before exiting. "There is something else I needed to asked you," he said with a gentle tone. "Did you hear the spell he used?"
Harry had to think a little with that one. "I heard him say the first three letters of the killing curse...that is why I got so worried that Hermione was in front of me...my senses were occupied in thinking she could...and Wormtail didn't stop when he saw her...and she...she..." Harry stopped, noticing he was rambling. "So I couldn't hear anything else. I'm sorry," Harry said, a little embarrassed.
Dumbledore's eyes sparkled as he spoke, "That is quite alright, is normal to get so worried, when danger threatens the ones you l-" Dumbledore stopped as soon as Hermione caught up with them. "Ah, Miss Granger, I was just asking Harry if he happened to hear the spell used by Wormtail. But he wasn't able to...remember. Perhaps you heard something?"
"No..." Hermione shook her head still in thought. "What I did notice, was that the spell that...hit Ron wasn't green like the killing curse..."
"You're right!!" Harry finally recalled. "The light the spell created wasn't entirely green, it had a mixture of-"
"-purple!" Hermione piped in. "And tiny-"
"-speaks of gold..." Harry added. "Can this help you Professor?"
Dumbledore, who had a slight smile from watching the interaction between the two teens, nodded. "It will come of help while trying to uncover the spell utilized."
***
Harry and Hermione then began the long journey to their common room. Both of them seemed in no hurry; their steps were short and slow. Neither talked during that period, Harry walked with his head held low, watching his feet move. After a few minutes he heard Hermione sniffling more loudly. Harry dared to glace sideways at Hermione, she also had her head down but he could still see the tears sliding effortlessly down her cheeks. Her breath breaking down while her shoulders gently shook. Harry couldn't take her suffering anymore; he stopped walking and turned to her, extending his left arm to stop her. His touch triggered her emotions as she started crying with more strength, big tears streaming down in thick rivers. Harry's heart broke just to see her in that state. What could he do to make her feel better? What did he know about giving comfort? He never learned these aspects of life, the Dursleys weren't exactly love personified, at least not with him. How could he show her he knew the pain she was going through? How to let her know she wasn't alone? He put his other hand on her other shoulder; he walked a few steps towards her as he pulled her gently to him, until they met halfway. When he felt Hermione tense up, he thought it had been a bad idea, but Hermione soon grasped the fabric of Harry's sweater and leaned her head on his shoulder. She seemed to let flow all of the pent-up feelings, she was sobbing hard, her shoulders shaking violently, cries escaping her mouth. Harry moved his hands, one to the small of her back and the other to the middle of her shoulders. He had no words to speak; he was passing by the same pain of losing a best friend. Although his original plan was to comfort Hermione, this contact was soothing him. The feel of her body within his embrace was revitalizing.
Hermione didn't feel anything except a great pressure in her chest, as she was walking through the halls. Her body ached for some type of sensation she didn't recognize. But then Hermione felt Harry's strong hand on her shoulder and then his warm arms were wrapping her. At first she was afraid of how nice it felt to be in his embrace, and then her oppression relaxed, and for the first time since she learned about Ron, she let her feelings flow.
Hermione's body was still shaking; Harry could feel the wet sensation of her tears staining his sweater. Harry couldn't stop from tightening his grip around Hermione.
She didn't know how long she had been crying, what she did know is that she felt very weak from thinking, recalling, admitting, hiding, denying and especially from crying. Her eyes stung as she felt her knees buckle and she felt herself falling.
Harry felt Hermione slipping; he reacted and tried to stop her from falling. But he wasn't fast enough, so he went down with her, gripping her from the waist, so she wouldn't fall. "Hermione..." he cleared his voice, amazed at how raspy it came out.
"I'm okay, I just need to sit down for a minute," Hermione responded in a tired voice. Kneeling in the cold floor, she let her arms fall from his sweater as she began to lift her head from his shoulder.
"OK, we'll stay here as long as you need," Harry answered softly, arranging his legs so he was kneeling comfortably; he wrapped his arms tighter, stopping Hermione from moving away.
"Thank you," Hermione barely mustered as her arms wrapped themselves around his chest, leaning her head comfortably on his chest. The sound of the air going through his lungs, lulling her to relax.
***
It was a good ten minutes before the portrait of the Big Fat Lady opened to let Harry and Hermione in. Harry had his arm around Hermione's shoulder, supporting her weight.
"Harry!"
"Hermione!"
Screams came as soon as they walked in. Fred, George, Ginny were sitting in the common room waiting. With them were Lee, Dean, Seamus, Neville and Lavender. The entire group walked to meet up with them. They were bombarded with the same questions, and Harry answered as well as he could. The twins were extremely somber; it was unnerving to see them like that.
"Oh, Harry!" Ginny rushed over to him, throwing her arms around his chest.
"Ginny!" Harry was surprised over her actions. She never had acted so forward towards him. He felt his body tense up, and his first reaction was to pull away, but Ginny was crying and her suffering must be greater, so he didn't move. He felt rather uncomfortable as he placed his hand lightly on her shoulder, his other arm dropping to his side. Besides, Hermione was displaced by Ginny's motions; Harry turned to see where had she gone and with deep regret he saw her walk slowly to a near sofa, Lavender went to her. Hermione's face still reflected great sorrow and all he wanted was to still have her in his arms. Just to give her my support. Harry's brain put in. Ginny was still crying on his chest. Harry didn't understand why he wasn't compelled to cover her with his arms. After all, Ginny was also his friend.
***
It was the first day Harry attended classes after the accident. It seemed that, as always with this type of happening, the entire school knew about Ron. Everywhere he went almost all pairs of eyes followed him, all of the students seemed to walk on shells around him, and they showered him with pity looks all around. It was exasperating; it only exacerbated his despair.
The worst part had to be the absence of Hermione in all of the classes they shared. Why hadn't she gone to class? Something wasn't okay if she had missed all her classes. The situation had gone worse when she didn't show up to dinner. Harry was already nervous when he arrived at the common room, hoping to find Hermione there, but no luck. Harry remained in his seat all through the night, wondering is she would come down from the girl's dormitories, but she did not.
The following days were spent the same way, and as each day passed his concern also grew. Where was she? Was she going to other classes? Was she eating at other times? Could she be avoiding him? All type of questions where in his mind as he gazed at the two empty seats at his sides in Potions class, Snape's lazy drawl forgotten. Harry was trying to immerse himself in his routine, to not think of his sudden loneliness.
***
Several days past and Harry was more depressed. On one of the nights he was sitting in one of the sofas close to the fireplace, watching the flames lick the logs, his thoughts drowned in guilt and retelling of the events of that day that had haunted his dreams. Ginny had joined him a few hours later, she also showed in her person how destroyed she was because of her brother's misfortune. After fruitlessly trying to engage in civil conversation with Harry, Ginny tentatively leaned her head on Harry's shoulder, and stayed there, enjoying the strength she received.
Harry felt the weight of Ginny's head, but he was too enwrapped in guilt to move away. "Harry?" Harry barely heard a woman's voice trying to break through his barrier of thoughts.
"Harry? Harry!" Lavender was shaking him by the shoulders, her voice strong.
Harry finally blinked and turned to stare blankly at Lavender. "Harry!?" Lavender and Ginny screamed at him and only then did he pay them attention.
"Lavender? What...what is it?" Harry finally focused on Lavender's worried face.
"Harry, I'm very worried about Hermione," Lavender began; she was about to sit down in the chair close to where Harry was. But at this statement Harry bolted from where he was sitting, forcing Ginny to sit up straight, lacking of support.
"Why? Is she alright? What's wrong?" Harry shot questions rapidly.
"She isn't well. As you noticed she hasn't attended classes, and that alone says plenty when referring to Hermione. But besides that she isn't eating, I can barely persuade her into eating a piece of fruit, and she also isn't sleeping..." Lavender explained.
"What?" Harry asked dumbfounded, he thought she wasn't taking well Ron's accident, but he didn't know to what extent she was suffering.
"She is extremely depressed; she moves through our room like a zombie. She spends the day sitting by the window looking out; I go to sleep she's there, when I wake up she hasn't budged. I go to classes and she's at the window and when I come back she's still in the same position with the same vacant expression and clothes; just tonight I convinced her to take a bath..." Lavender finished telling her story.
Even though this news had given new grief to Harry, he couldn't help but find Lavender's behavior completely strange. She and Hermione were never close, sure they shared the same room, but that was the extent of their relationship. That is why he didn't begin to understand why Lavender looked so sad and preoccupied for Hermione. Harry didn't want to dwell on Lavender's actions; perhaps she was just shaken up because of the dark nature of the happenings, like the rest of the school.
"Maybe you can come and talk to her, although I don't think you can..." Lavender seemed to be thinking of ways to help Harry to go and talk to Hermione.
Harry walked up to Lavender and pulled her outside Ginny's hearing distance. "Look, I know how to get to the girls dormitories without getting caught, all that I am going to ask of you is to make sure that you are alone with Hermione tonight," Harry said already making all of the plans in his head.
After they finished arranging their meeting, Harry went up to his dormitory. He stopped right at the door and for the hundredth time that week, Harry scanned the room. It was no longer the safe haven it used to be, where Ron and him used to make all of their plans and stay awake until late just talking and eating treats. Everything there reminded him of Ron, from the posters of the Canons, his favorite Quidditch team, to the socks strewn on the floor. Harry decided to go take a quick shower; he needed to clear his head if he was going to head up to talk to Hermione. Ignoring the skip his heart gave when he thought he was finally going to see her, he grabbed clean clothes and headed to the bathroom.
***
It was ten past ten and Hermione didn't seem to take notice of Lavender's nervous pacing. It had taken a great amount of convincing and even lying to usher off Parvati out of the room alone, along with the other two fifth year Gryffindor girls that shared their dorm room. And now it was ten minutes past the accorded time, and Harry hadn't arrived yet. Lavender was just making a mental list of what could have happened to Harry, when she heard three loud knocks at their door. Lavender recognized the signal knock that Harry and her had agreed on and rushed to the door. She glanced briefly at Hermione, who hadn't moved from her spot, Lavender opened the door and let Harry in quickly before closing the door, before anyone could see him.
"How did-" Lavender was confused.
Harry lifted his left hand to stop her. "Tell you on another occasion," he said while hiding his invisibility cloak behind his back with his other hand. Harry turned to Hermione and his heart seemed to stop. This girl couldn't be Hermione; this thin, deadly white, wrangled hair girl wasn't even her shadow.
Lavender saw Harry's stricken face and decided to excuse herself, "I'll leave you alone."
Harry heard the door close and made his way towards where she was sitting. "Hermione?" he called in a small worried voice. She didn't move, he got closer and dared to put a hand on her shoulder. "Hermione," he pronounced with a little more strength.
She seemed shocked by his touch and turned her head at him, her eyes searching his face as if trying to remember him. "Harry?" Harry's lips formed a miniscule smile, the first smile he evoked in a week. "What are you doing here?" Hermione spoke tiredly turning her head briskly away from Harry. Her tone was firm and discontent.
"I came to see how you were..." Harry spoke softly, her treatment deterring his resolve.
"Why should you care?" she spoke as she slowly stood up. Her tone was strange, Harry didn't recognize it, and she never had spoken like that before, at least not to him. She was extremely weak and before she gave a single step, she did a back-step and was going to fall. Harry reacted and grabbed her from behind her shoulders. "You shouldn't touch me," Hermione recoiled from his hands, moving so fast that her head began to spin and she had to sit back down.
Harry's gaze fell to the floor, along with his heart. This is what he had feared since he first realized Hermione wasn't on her usual seat in the Gryffindor table. She blamed him. Hermione blamed him for Ron's accident and she couldn't stand his presence, his touch, or his friendship. Could that be the reason why she hadn't gone out of her room, was she avoiding him? And the worst part, Harry thought as he lightly closed his eyes, was that she has every right to hate me. But he was not going to give up, he simply wasn't going to lose his two best friends.
With his mind made-up, he went and sat down next to her. Her head was bent down with her eyes closed. "Hermione please forgive me," the words came to Harry's mouth. "I know that because of me, Ron is now on a hospital bed," desperation possessed his voice. "I am aware that the spell was intended for me, that if I hadn't gone looking for trouble, like always, Ron would still be here..." Harry was never good at voicing out his feelings, but he couldn't bear it if Hermione stopped being with him. "I understand that you blame me, I also know...that to some point it hurts you even more...because he was your...boyfriend...but please...don't shut me out," in this part of his statement, his voice began to act strangely, it cut between words. "I can't lose...you...my other best friend...in the same week...please..." his voice stopped working, as he felt a great naught in his throat, he still wanted to say so much to her. To describe the absolute void his week had been without her. How the pain seemed to increase because she wasn't with him.
As he was searching how to word his feelings he heard the distinct sniffling, when he looked up he saw that Hermione was crying. "What are you talking about?" Hermione said, her voice weak and sad. "I am the one to blame in this situation," Harry was flabbergasted when these words came out of her mouth, but she didn't give him a chance to talk. "It's my fault Ron got hurt, if I had listened to you and gone looking for help...Ron wouldn't have been there. If I hadn't start running towards you without giving him an explanation," her tears became more frequent, but she continued. "And I'm sorry Harry, I am so sorry that because of me you lost your best friend, I know how much he means to you, I still remember how miserable you felt without his friendship in fourth year...I can never replace him as your number one best friend," Hermione began to have trouble talking, her breath was short. "I just can't face you after all of this, so please don't try to spare me by blaming yourself..." that's when Hermione stopped talking, her cries invading the silence. But she still had so much to say, she wanted to tell him how much she wished he could forgive her, to express the pain it was not to be with him. But before she could say anything, she felt the soft touch of Harry's hand over her own.
Harry still couldn't believe what Hermione was saying. He saw her hand trembling, he just wanted her to stop suffering and blaming herself. His own hand trembled as it moved by an unknown force towards Hermione's hand. "Hermione you aren't responsible of what happened, you must know that no matter what you could have said to Ron, he would have followed you anyway," Harry spoke wholeheartedly, Hermione's cries had calmed down, but she still wasn't facing him. "You've got to understand that I don't blame you of absolutely anything."
Finally Hermione turned to him, her eyes red, "You don't?"
"No," Harry stated, as the corners of his mouth tugged into a small tight smile, Hermione did the same, but Harry still had more to say. "For as I told you before, it was my fault-"
"You mustn't hold yourself responsible Harry," Hermione interrupted him, some amount of strength returning to her voice. Her hand placed, with a gentle touch, on top of Harry's hand, that was already over her hand. "It is always Ron's -OUR- decision to follow you, aware of the danger we could face. You can't possibly feel guilty for the actions of other people."
Harry met her eyes, plain words she had spoken, but it was the belief she bestowed upon those words that calmed his heart. "Thanks," Harry and Hermione said at the same time, which made them let out a short chuckle.
A long silence followed, Harry realized that he still had his hand over hers, and slowly took it off. He righted himself in his seat; he had just taken notice of how much he had leaned towards Hermione during their talk. Hermione seemed to be doing the same thing, as she patted her hair.
"Harry?" Hermione suddenly spoke.
"Hmm?"
"What are we going to do? About Ron I mean..." she continued, she wasn't facing him again, her gaze concentrated on the scenery outside the window.
"I'm still not sure..." Harry began also looking out through the window. "But what I can promise you, is that we are going to help him out of this," Harry continued, turning towards Hermione. "You and me, we are going to fight this. We will do the impossible if necessary...but together Hermione, okay? Together. You are not allowed to push me away. We'll find a way to get Ron back."
After a moment of letting in all that Harry had said, Hermione gave him a sweet smile, "You promise?"
"Yes. And this one I do intend to keep," Harry responded, mirroring her smile.
And then it happened. Hermione got that look, the one that she always has when she wants to hug him, exactly like the time on his first year when she went to visit him at the hospital after his fight with Voldemort. And the strangest thing was that Harry's head wasn't throbbing, he didn't feel shocked, he didn't mind it at all...and the realization of this scared him. He cleared his throat and stood up rapidly. "Well, I better get going, it's getting late and you should be going to sleep."
"Oh, Harry I can't sleep," Hermione stood up, she was still dizzy, and this time she did accept Harry's help to lead her to her bed.
"You have to rest, Lavender has told me that you haven't been sleeping," Harry said with preoccupation in his voice.
"I can't...every time I try...all these strange dreams..." Hermione was babbling, sign that she was better.
"I know...believe me, it's very difficult, but you have to try. Come on," Harry said as he pulled Hermione's covers and motioned her to sit down. "Just try to sleep today, and tomorrow will convince Madam Pomfrey into given you some of her dreamless sleep potion."
"But...I can't stop thinking..." Hermione argued, as she sat at her bed and covered her legs.
"Okay...what if we..." Harry said, not really knowing what to do to help Hermione go to sleep. Then something in her night table caught his sight. "What if we read?"
"Read?" Hermione asked, as she turned to Harry. He saw him lift her Hogwarts: A History book, the same he had giving her at Diagon Alley.
"Yes...we'll take turns reading," Harry said, his voice breaking as Hermione scooted over for him to sit down beside her.
"You don't have to stay here until I fall asleep-" Hermione began, feeling her face burning from having Harry sit down in her bed.
"I want to help you..." he simply stated, not wanting to look directly at Hermione, for fear that she would see how much he was blushing. He opened the book at the very first chapter, and tried to get comfortable. Impossible, he thought nervously.
They read for more than two hours, each one reading a different chapter. Finally Harry looked down; when he finished the chapter, and saw that she had finally gone to sleep. Her face was peaceful and her breathing was steady. He carefully put the book back at the nightstand and started to slowly move to get out of the bed without waking her up. When suddenly Hermione turned over and dropped her arm over his waist. "Don't...mmm...go," she mumbled; her voice drenched in sleep. Harry couldn't move, he was petrified to his spot, millions of thoughts running in his mind, his heart was thumping harder than ever. He tried to move again, but Hermione's hand didn't budge. "Please..." she mustered softly.
Okay...okay...okay...what to do? What to do? Harry's mind was trying futily to think. Okay, stay with her until she falls into a deeper sleep, then you can leave. His mind rationalized. He forced his body to relax and got himself in a more comfortable position. He tried so hard not to think about Hermione's body so close to his, not to pay heed at the warmth she irradiated. When he found that impossible, he looked down at her, her eyes puffy from so much crying, her little nose that had sniffled so much. He didn't want her to suffer anymore, he did intend to keep his promise, he would make Ron return to them, even if that meant having to see Ron and Hermione so 'comfortable' around each other. Harry steadily turned to her, placing his mouth on her forehead, he didn't move his lips, he just wanted to have a nice contact. I am not going to let you fall along with Ron, Hermione. This was his last conscious thought, for he fell asleep right after.
Ten minutes later, the door to the girl's dormitory opened, and Lavender peeked her head inside, she didn't see Harry or Hermione over the window and took it as a good sign. She walked quietly towards Hermione's bed, hearing the steady breathing. When she got there, she was surprised to see Harry and Hermione in deep sleep, Hermione had her arm placed lightly over his waist, while his hand was on her shoulder. Lavender was confused, but since Hermione hadn't sleep in a long time, she decided not to say anything. She walked to the one poster and silently pulled the last curtain so that when the girls came back they couldn't see that the Boy Who Lived, was sleeping right here in their room.
TO BE CONTINUED...