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Hogwart's Karaoke by Professor Ember Kinsar
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Hogwart's Karaoke

Professor Ember Kinsar

Setting: Three Broomsticks

Hermione Granger had just entered the Three Broomsticks when he was accosted by one of his best friends Ron Weasley.

"Where ya been Hermione? We've all been waiting for you, Dumbledore's about to announce his surprise."

Hermione shook her head in confusion. Ever since the Headmaster of her school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had announced there would be a special activity at the next Hogsmeade weekend everyone had been in an uproar over what it could be. Hermione wondered this herself as Ron dragged her over to the table where their other best friend Harry Potter, Ron's sister Ginny, her boyfriend Draco Malfoy and Ron's girlfriend Luna Lovegood were all sitting. Ron practically threw her into the booth next to Harry before running over to snuggle with Luna.

"Sorry about that Mione."

He said looking over at her. Hermione felt she was blushing. Harry misinterpreted it as he asked her if she was too warm.

"No Harry, I'm fine."

Hermione tried to keep the patronizing tone out of her voice but it was hard to when the boy sitting next to her was so bloody daft. She often wondered just how he got that shiny Head Boy badge that was pinned to his cloak. She supposed killing a Dark Lord had to be good for something. Mentally she smacked herself for her insensitive thoughts about Harry; it wasn't his fault he was so clueless about how she felt. After all growing up with the Dursleys would leave anyone emotionally stunted. She leaned into him a bit and smiled as his arm wrapped around her the way it always did. No one even blinked, as they did this all the time. Who would notice that her hands were sweating and she could hardly breathe for the desperate desire she had to kiss him? She-

"Hermione?"

was unceremoniously interrupted in her thoughts as Ginny waved a hand in front of her face.

"Yes?"

Ginny threw her a pitying look, as she too knew what it was to pine for the Boy-Who-Lived. Hermione threw her a withering look in return. Ginny wisely chose not to say anything.

"You were lost in thought so I figured you'd like to be pulled out now as Dumbledore's about to make his announcement."

So he was. Hermione blinked a moment sure she wasn't seeing what she thought she was seeing. A stage, in the middle of the Three Broomsticks? And not just any kind of a stage, but one with a monitor that had words running across it. It couldn't be could it? Even Dumbledore was not this horribly, irreversibly insane. Dumbledore clapped his hands for silence and as he spoke Hermione could tell he had put the Sonorous charm on himself.

"Welcome students, teachers and patrons to the first annual Hogwarts Karaoke Festival."

Ok, so maybe he was. Hermione looked around at the confused faces of her companions as well as those of the other occupants of the pub. Ron leaned over and whispered,

"What's Carryahke?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Karaoke Ron. It's a muggle form of cheap entertainment. You sing a bunch of silly songs and the words go across the screen up there as you sing."

Ron nodded sagely although Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that her explanation had done nothing to help him understand. Hermione looked up as Dumbledore began to speak again.

"I will be selecting the names of random students to come up and participate. But first I will kick of the festivities by singing Spectacular, Spectacular from the movie Moulin Rouge."

Hermione's hand met her forehead with a smack. Since when did Dumbledore watch muggle movies, especially Moulin Rouge? Again confusion gripped the public, muggleborn students were obviously wondering the same thing she had as nonmuggleborns were most likely wondering what a movie was. Hermione's head stayed in her hand as the music started and Dumbledore began to warble the song.

It will be... Spectacular, spectacular!

No words of the vernacular

Can describe this great event

You'll be dumb with wonderment

Returns are fixed at ten percent

You must agree, that's excellent

And on top of your fee

You'll be involved artistically

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will for fifty years

Each verse was punctuated by a short shuffle of the old wizard's feet and then he would launch into a strange rendition of the Can-Can. It was all Hermione could do to watch. Ron apparently wasn't having a much better time.

"Bloody Hell he's finally gone `round the bend."

The others, obviously too stunned to speak, nodded their heads in silent agreement.

Elephants

Bohemians

Indians

And courtesans

Acrobats

And juggling bears

Exotic girls

Fire-eaters!

Muscle men and contortionists

Intrigue danger and romance

Electric lights

Machinery

Oh the electricity!

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

Spectacular, Spectacular

No words of the vernacular

Can describe this great event

You'll be dumb with wonderment

The hills are alive

With the sound of music

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

The courtesan and sitar man

Are pulled apart by an evil plan

But in the end she hears his song

And their love is just too strong

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

The sitar player's secret song

Helps them flee the evil one

Though the tyrant rants and rails

It is all to no avail

I am the evil maharajah

You will not escape!

Oh Harold, no one could play him like you could.

No one's going to.

So exciting

We'll make them laugh, we'll make them cry

So delighting

And in the end should someone die?

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

Generally I like it

As the song wound down the lights, which Hermione had not noticed being dimmed earlier, began to get brighter. Dumbledore sang the final chord and the music stopped and after a moment of stunned silence the crowd erupted in cheers. The old wizard was given a standing ovation as his Head Boy and Girl along with their companions continued to regard him with bewilderment.

"That was as unholy a sight as I ever want to behold for the rest of my life."

Harry muttered under his breath. Ginny snickered as Draco shook his head in disbelief and the others at the table laughed softly.

"And just think, we all get to get up there and do the same thing."

Luna said in her breathy voice. That stopped the laughter completely. They all looked at each other. Dumbledore had said he was going to randomly pick names. Who would be the first chosen? They turned in unison back to the stage as Dumbledore picked up a goblet reminiscent of the one used for the choosing of the Champions of the Tri Wizard Tournament in fourth year. As he put his hand in smoke began to pour out of the cup and with a pop out came a small slip of paper. Dumbledore opened it and read out the name.

"Ginny Weasley will be our first student performer."

Ginny blanched. Draco smirked in that horribly annoying way that only he could.

"Go on Love, let's hear that lovely voice of yours."

Everyone knew Ginny did not like to sing in public and Draco seemed to find her discomfort perversely funny. Hermione leaned over Harry and gave her a small hug.

"Go on Ginny, we're all rooting for you. Even your prat of a boyfriend."

Ginny nodded against Hermione's shoulder and pulled back, a determined look on her face. She nudged Harry and both he and Hermione scooted out of the booth so Ginny could make her way to the stage. Once she was there Dumbledore performed the Sonorous charm on Ginny and backed away letting the scared girl take center stage. Hermione could see her swallow hard and take a few deep breaths. Ginny's hands were visibly shaking and then Hermione saw her look over at their table and the shaking stopped. Ginny's eyes narrowed as she caught Draco's sneer once more.

"Uh oh."

Hermione thought to herself. This would not be pretty for young Mister Malfoy. Ginny lifted her chin and still looking her boyfriend in the eye spoke.

"I'll be singing Time by Sarah McLachlin."

Hermione recognized the song as she had the CD. She and Ginny had spent a good deal of time memorizing the songs they thought best suited themselves and their friends. She only hoped Ginny could remember the lyrics.

TBC…