EVERYBODY KNOWS
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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters or the song Nobody Knows But Me by Kevin Sharp
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I pretend that I'm glad you went away
these four walls close in more every day
And I'm dyin' inside and nobody knows it
But me
Like a clown I put on a show
painted real, even though nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside and nobody knows it
But me
Why didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you and nobody knows it but me
-Kevin Sharp 'Nobody Knows It But Me'
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(Harry Potter's POV)
You know, over the summer, I didn't think anything would really get my mind over what happened last year, with my godfather's passing. A part of me is happy it did. But, as I sit here at my potions class table absentmindedly twirling my stirring stick in my fingers, I have to ask: Of all the things in the world, why this?
I look to my left and see two empty seats, this is the first class of the day, so it really doesn't surprise me the rabbits are pushing the limit … as usual. "Five. Four. Three. Two." I begin the count down. As the last second counts down, the door swings open, and in runs my 'best friends' Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.
"Are we terribly late, Harry?" Hermione asks me as she sits down between Ron's seat and mine. She is hardly paying attention while she's adjusting her skirt and quickly finishing buttoning up her blouse under her robe.
"No, you've two minutes to spare, Hermione," I say, forcing a smile, then signal to Ron to wipe the pink lipstick off his lips.
Since when has Hermione worn lipstick and make up? I figure it was about the same time her and Ron hit it off.
I let out a deep sigh and turn to see Neville to my right watching me sympathetically. I quickly look away and spot Luna and Cho across the room looking at me with deep pity in their eyes. Am I that obvious? Bloody hell, has the whole world seen through me? I look back to my left to see that Hermione and Ron have begun 'sneaking' a few extra kisses in. Meaning: she's all but crawled in his lap. Here comes the nausea again …
I look around at the Ravenclaw and Gryffindors in the oval potions chamber, and every single one of them either looking at me like I was a little boy whose puppy just died or staring at Hermione like she has committed a grand sin, that is mostly Cho and a few Ravenclaws. Ok, twenty-two out of twenty-four people know I am currently living through hell. I really need to work on that poker face.
I sigh again, at least we don't have potions with Slytherin this year, if only Ron hadn't confessed his undying love with our own mutual friend and apparent mutual crush this year quite possibly would be perfect. But no, as always SOMETHING has to blow up in my face every year.
I mean, I'm happy for them being happy, but why Hermione, Ron? I mentally question, Luna is a nice girl in her own strange psychotic way, and she likes you. Why Hermione? I might as well admit it. After all, my so-called secret power in which Voldemort fears so much is supposed to be love. Professor Dumbledore, the old fart who happened to point this out to me too late like everything else, seen it. Professor McGonagall saw it. Ninety nine percent of the school population saw it. And in a twenty-twenty hindsight, I guess I saw it too. I love Hermione Ann Granger. Whole bloody lot of good it does me now.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor each of you, Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley," I hear Professor Snape say, walking into the room.
"That isn't fair!" Hermione gasps standing up while Ron just gawks. True enough they weren't doing anything, they had both stopped their demonstration on the proper way to dislodge something from another's mouth with one's tongue moments ago, and I too wonder exactly what he's doing.
"I saw you running into the room earlier," Snape said snidely, looking down his nose at my bushy haired angel, "And also you and your … boyfriend both quite possible need a pair of glasses as badly as your friend Mr. Potter."
Snape glances down at me with softness in his cold eyes. Oh simply marvelous! Now I'm getting sympathy from Professor Severus Snape. Would the ground just swallow me up and end my pathetic life this minute. Please, Voldemort if you want to kill me so badly, here I am, put me out of my misery!
"Fifteen points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter," Snape hisses, "Perhaps you'll pay attention to the class now, or shall I take away more points?"
So much for sympathy…
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Three classes down, and finally lunch. As I walk out of McGonagall's class I look over to Ron and Hermione, "I am so ready for some food, I feel like I could eat a hippogriff whole!" I say stretching my arms over my head.
"Sorry, Harry, Ron and I have to go check on a few things in the hat production in the commons room," Hermione says to me almost believably. "I want to make sure the first years who are working on the hats are making them to proper specifications."
I almost believe her: if not for that one day I followed them to see if I could help, only to see them take a side trip to a small broom closet. I bet my inheritance that the only 'proper specifications' they're going to check is their tongue wrestling skills before Ron devastates his own breath for a few hours from lunch.
"Ok, I'll save your seats," I force another smile, while mentally imagining myself knocking the excited expression off Ron's face with a right cross. "Bye, guys," I say turning to find they're both gone. I sigh and turn to leave when I come face to face with big blue and slightly disturbing eyes of Luna Lovegood less then a few inches from my own.
"L-Luna!" I shriek, stepping back in shock.
"You know, what would it hurt if you just told her how you feel?" Luna asks flat out, not blinking at all. How the hell does she do that anyway?
"I don't know what you're talking about," I state, walking past her, only to sigh when I realize she's right beside me.
"I believe you do know exactly what I am talking about, Harry," Luna said knowingly. "Whatever the outcome, I do so wish you would just get this out in the open and end the bloody drama."
"I'll think about it …" I finally surrender as we walk into the grand hall and I receive yet another reason to follow Luna's advice.
The entire hall is so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and every single eye was on me. At first this really freaked me out, but I've finally started to get used to it after two months. So I just walk to the three empty seats at the Gryffindor table, took a seat, and ate in the extremely silent dining hall.
Just when I think the day can't get any worse, a voice calls from behind me. "Potter?"
"What do you want, Malfoy?" I ask irritatedly, glancing back at the blond Slytherin who is looking at me with a weak smile. Wait … Malfoy is smiling at me. It's officially Doomsday …
"Hey, Potter, I was just going to tell you that I caught Pansy and Blaise making eyes at you earlier this week," Draco says uncharacteristically kindly, "I know first hand they are amazing shaggers, so if you ever want help getting over the Mud-err Granger I'm sure they'll be more then happy to help."
That's it, no more! I can't take anymore. I just start slamming my forehead on the table repeatedly. I really didn't need to hear that at all, now I have the image of Ferret boy shagging Pansy and Blaise and even at the same time stuck in my head. Merlin, help me.
"Harry!" I hear Hermione's voice gasp as I felt two gentle hands pull me back up, and stroke my forehead. I glance over and my eyes get locked in a pair of worry filled chocolate.
"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione gasps worriedly, stroking my forehead and scar, "Is your scar burning? Did you get a vision? Is it V-Voldemort?"
"No, just frustrated over a quiz in my class, that's all," I lie. Last couple months I've gotten pretty good at lying to Ron and Hermione's faces. Not sure if that's a good thing or not though.
"Oh, do you need any help?" Hermione asks sitting down beside me, then I notice Ron sitting down on the other side of her, looking at me just as worriedly. "Ron and I were planning on going to Hogsmeade for the night err tonight, but I can stay and help you study if you'd like?"
"No, you guys go and have fun," I smile weakly, pushing away my tray; my hunger suddenly vanished when I heard Hermione's plans for the night. "I think I'll go take a nap in my dorm for the rest of lunch, see you guys next class." I then stand up and make a quick exit, praying my glasses hid the tears in my eyes.
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(Normal POV)
"I'm worried about Harry, Ron," Hermione said as she and her boyfriend walked hand in hand through the streets of Hogsmeade.
"I'm sure he's fine, Luv," Ron smiled, but frowned as he looked over his shoulder.
"What's the matter, Ron?" Hermione asked following his gaze.
"Keep walking," Ron whispered, "I think we're being followed."
"Probably just one of the Order members," Hermione suggested but felt something hit her in the back, and watched as Ron flinched as well. "What was …" she started but suddenly felt her eyes growing heavy as Ron went to his knees. "Sleeping … spell … of … some …" she couldn't finish her sentence as she fell to the ground in a deep sleep.
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"Hermie? Hermione, wake up!" Hermione heard as she began to twist in her seat. Her eyes snapped open when she realized her wrists and ankles were shackled holding in a seated position on an old loveseat. She glanced to her left and found Ron in the same position she was in. "Bout bloody time, we're in trouble!"
"Ah, it's about time you awaken," a voice hissed from behind them. Hermione turned and opened her mouth to scream but the fear she felt prevented even that.
"Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, it's a incredible pleasure to finally meet you face to face!" Lord Voldemort said, taking a seat across from them. "I have wanted to meet you both in person for sometime now."
"What do you want, V-V-Voldemort?" Hermione forced out, trying to sound brave.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you my young friends, I am far from stupid, and if I were to harm either of you I know even my power would be no match for Potter's rage." Voldemort reassured.
"Then … what do you want?" Ron asked timidly.
"Well, you see, for the last sixteen years, I have a problem, your best friend," Voldemort stated waving his hand. "Harry Potter has been a thorn in my side since we first met when he was but in dippers. He defeated me then, and then when I finally get preparations in order to return from the damage he did to me, he returned to face me again. For six years now, I have tried to break Potter's spirit. But no matter what I do, who I threaten, who I hurt, who I hurt, his courage and spirit are insurmountable."
"So you kidnapped us to try to break his spirits then?" Hermione spat.
"Oh no, my dear, he's been a shell of the challenge he was for the first five years at Hogwarts for several weeks now," Voldemort laughed, "His spirit's hardly ash now."
"What have you done to him?" Hermione growled, not caring who he was, only that he hurt Harry.
"Me? Nothing at all, no matter what I've tried I haven't been able to break him at all. I know even though I can't manipulate him anymore because of the Occlumency training, but I can still see everything despite his attempts to block me," Voldemort explained, "The only reason I kidnapped you two is I wanted to meet the two people who have done what I never could."
"Huh?" Ron asked, as Hermione listened intently.
"You both broke Harry Potter."
To Be Continued …